Perhaps not the worst band ever,
but certainly symptomatic of one of the worst fucking blights on the music industry:

Paramore.

Certainly not as offensive as Aiden, but, and this is true of so many bands these days, if Hayley Williams weighed 25 stone, do you think you'd have fucking heard of Paramore?...


( PMGT -Bacon., Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:01, 18 replies)

that's her natural hair colour

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:03, closed)

Ummm
I had never heard of Paramore until I read this so the answer to your question is "if Hayley Williams weighed 25 stone would you have mentioned them?". Yes or no, the choice is yours.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:06, closed)

I'm pretty sure the same
applies to about 5 million other bands as well.

Would Abba have made it if they'd been fronted by Jo Brand and Anne Widdecombe?
( Not Pineapple anymore, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:13, closed)

Exactly.
i don't see why musical ability should be eschewed in favour of how someone looks. This coming from a man who was recently turned down by a band for "not having tattoos".
( PMGT -Bacon., Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:16, closed)

You could have got some stick on ones.

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:27, closed)

I think there's a gap
in the market for someone wearing a baseball catchers mask too.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:29, closed)

Considered doing it with a biro
but all the ones on my left arm would have been good, and the ones on my right arm would have been shit. Not ambidextrous.
( PMGT -Bacon., Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:30, closed)

Mind you
Alison Moyet was no supermodel.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:17, closed)

Heh.
I used to quite fancy her, but then I was 15 when she was topping the charts, and I'd have fucked a milkfloat if it had stood still long enough.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:26, closed)

Your teenage self
reminds me of Benny Hills character in "The Italian Job"

Then again I've always had a hard spot for big Goth style women.
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:07, closed)

It was a bit like that
except I spent much more time in the bathroom.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:11, closed)

first impressions are everything
that's why I liked Paramore, I'm now fed up of hearing their music, but it was good music too in the first place. You can't base their success entirely on that cute little redhead. The Gossip had a few massive hits despite their lead singer more than certainly weighing in at 25 stone.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i_c7VU-IgE
(b0w13, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:57, closed)

Surely the fact that you're now tired of them
indicates that there isn't really much substance to their music, certainly not enough to keep you entertained in the long term, which in turn indicates that they were probably signed because they have an attractive girl singing for them. Musically, they're not the worse band around, but if you go down to any metal night in manchester you can find 20 bands that sound the same as them, just like you could before people had heard of Paramore.

Bands like that don't get signed on how good their music is, they get signed on how marketable they are. their musical ability is probably the third thing that gets looked at by A&R after looks and age.

The Gossip are a band that functions in a genre that relies on people being unusual to sell records not necessarily attractive. the irony is, if beth Ditto didn't weigh 25 stone, you'd probably never have fucking heard of them either.

It all points to one completely shit and depressing fact: whether you get signed or not doesn't depend on whether you can play good music, it depends on whether you can be marketed to a specific audience.
( PMGT -Bacon., Thu 30 Dec 2010, 19:15, closed)

OMG she's so fit.............
*buys their back catalogue*
thanks for the tip!
(dyllon nice beaver., Thu 30 Dec 2010, 20:10, closed)

Are you saying you wouldn't hit it?

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 30 Dec 2010, 20:32, closed)

We need to fix her hair colour.
Then I'd hit it.
(Archeleus hates cabbage, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 4:55, closed)

Being pretty is all well and good for getting some initial interest...
But surely there has to be something good to the music before people keep listening to it. What the singer looks like means absolutely nothing when I am sitting on the bus listening through headphones. The singer being pretty may get me to look at a video or two on youtube, but I am not going to listen to them any further than that if they suck...

Sure they may not be the most groundbreaking band on the planet, but I will have to admit that I do rather like them.

And yes, Hayley Williams is rather cute, and fun to watch bounce about on stage. :)

Flip it around and take someone like the Gossip, the fact that the singer is somewhat overweight may make you notice them over any other generic band, but through a pair of headphones the fact that the singer is repulsively overweight means absolutely nothing, the shitty and overplayed music do.

I do now realise I have admitted to liking the band with the pretty singer, and disliking the one with the fat bird which doesn't really help my case too much, but trust me, if I only listened to bands based on the prettiness of the singer, I wouldn't be listening to anything fronted by an ugly bloke (which lacking the gay, would be all of them...) and my musical tastes would be somewhat more limited.
(442, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 14:13, closed)

the angerrr...
I think mostly my hate towards these guys is down to A: Their music being pretty beige and B: I was in a band called Todays Eden with a singer who wanted to be her without being a good enough singer and had the stage presence of a microphone stand, she kept trying to get the rest of us to make the same music....grrrr
(markthatiscalledmark, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 10:48, closed)