Shagging dilemmas...
Both of my greatest dilemmas were sexual ones.
I used to have a best mate called Kevin and we used to go clubbing in his car. He’d also lend me the car keys so that I could make sweet lurve to my squeeze of that time, Nicola. So anyway, me and Nicola (who I was crazy about incidentally) were having a jolly old time on the back seat and as she nears that crucial moment she cries out “Oh Kevin…”
Well, seeing as my name’s not Kevin I had to decide really quickly to (a) stop shagging and act really upset or (b) pretend I hadn’t heard and continue shagging.
Of course I chose (c) which involved continuing shagging and then acting hurt afterwards. Turns out it wasn’t my best mate she had been thinking of, but an ex boyfriend. (I told her that she should get back with him, which she did).
My second shagging dilemma was an ex girlfriend who I had finished with for her infidelity – which I was still angry about. She wanted one last shag for old times sake and she was a very sexual creature who always came very strongly. To shag or not to shag?
So I shagged her as fast as I could so ensuring she didn’t reach orgasm. She was livid and was hurling obscenities at me for leaving her hanging. Oh how I laughed…
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Thu 20 May 2004, 0:20, Reply)