» Dad Jokes

Passed down from my Grandmother , to my father , to me
For three generations now, whenever the grocery shopping is being done, someone in my family has to say "You can beat an egg, but you can't beat a root" whenever purchasing beetroot. This charmer came from my father's mother who probably picked it up from a Benny Hill special or Carry On film.

Also, after anyone went to the toilet he would say to them "Smells like a goanna crawled up your arse and died". In fact I'm sure he still says it.
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 4:12, More)

» Worst Record Ever

The Maria Carey Christmas Album
The Pariah Carey Xmas album was played on an all day rotation at my sisters house a few years back. My sister, her husband and my father loved it but it nearly killed my mother and I, the next year my Mum threatened to boycott Christmas if she played it ever again. Sadly, the next christmas,it was replaced with Meatloaf's Bat Out Of Hell video. Mariah ruined Christmas, do you need a better reason.
(Wed 3rd Dec 2003, 1:33, More)

» Worst Record Ever

Innocent Eyes by Delta Goodrimmer
This whole album of crap has embarassed Australia for long enough, just because she has the commonest form of cancer known to mankind (only slightly more serious than a fucking freckle) it does not mean she has the right to hog the limelight like she has. It all sounds like a bad Tormi Anus cover anyway.
(Thu 4th Dec 2003, 4:31, More)