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- a member for 20 years, 2 months and 14 days
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» Customers from Hell
More irritating than hell...
Once working in the local shop a regular customer marched in and pondered some purchases from the shelves.
A power cut ensued.
The customer continued with his shopping, in the dark, in near pitch black conditions. He then marched up to the till, which I was under searching for a torch, which in the end turned out to not have any batteries in anyway. This conversation occurred:
'I'll take these and 20 Rothmans please'
'Wha?'
'just these, and 20 rothmans, please?'
'I'm sorry I can't serve you right now, there's sort of no light in here'
'Ok, forget these other things, can you just sell me the 20 rothmans then'
'Sorry, I cant, the till won't work cos theres no electricity, it wont work'
He then marched around screaming in his fruity accent 'BUT I WANT MY CIGARETTES!!!' IN THE DARK. The manager then asked me clear the shop of customers, this meant taking the torch (there was one which actually worked, who'd've thought?) through the black Co-op mine and guiding the old ladies. Once I'd used the line 'come towards the light' once too many times to be funny any more I made my way back to the till.
HE WAS STILL THERE... WAITING...
'Sir I'm really sorry but we need to get all the customers out of the shop, its technically not safe in here with no lights'
'BUT I WANT MY CIGARETTES!!!'
He left, eventually, with only a gentle push...
I think I said 'Thank you, come again' as I slammed the door and locked it behind him. Never could look him in the eye every time he came back for his 20 Rothmans, for fear of pissing myself laughing.
(Thu 4th Sep 2008, 22:14, More)
More irritating than hell...
Once working in the local shop a regular customer marched in and pondered some purchases from the shelves.
A power cut ensued.
The customer continued with his shopping, in the dark, in near pitch black conditions. He then marched up to the till, which I was under searching for a torch, which in the end turned out to not have any batteries in anyway. This conversation occurred:
'I'll take these and 20 Rothmans please'
'Wha?'
'just these, and 20 rothmans, please?'
'I'm sorry I can't serve you right now, there's sort of no light in here'
'Ok, forget these other things, can you just sell me the 20 rothmans then'
'Sorry, I cant, the till won't work cos theres no electricity, it wont work'
He then marched around screaming in his fruity accent 'BUT I WANT MY CIGARETTES!!!' IN THE DARK. The manager then asked me clear the shop of customers, this meant taking the torch (there was one which actually worked, who'd've thought?) through the black Co-op mine and guiding the old ladies. Once I'd used the line 'come towards the light' once too many times to be funny any more I made my way back to the till.
HE WAS STILL THERE... WAITING...
'Sir I'm really sorry but we need to get all the customers out of the shop, its technically not safe in here with no lights'
'BUT I WANT MY CIGARETTES!!!'
He left, eventually, with only a gentle push...
I think I said 'Thank you, come again' as I slammed the door and locked it behind him. Never could look him in the eye every time he came back for his 20 Rothmans, for fear of pissing myself laughing.
(Thu 4th Sep 2008, 22:14, More)
» Accidental innuendo
The White and Black Should Never Be Together
One sunny day I was strolling up the road telling my girlfriend about the game of pool I played last night. 'I played really well and was going to win, but I played a foul on the last shot and so lost the game'.
My girlfriend, not being a font of knowledge on pool didn't understand and so she asked me to explain how I could have lost the game on the final shot. Just as I began explaining, unbenownst to me, a couple was walking down the same side of the road. The gentleman was a large black fellow and his ladyfriend was of the white skinned persuasion. I have no issues with this. However in all innocence this was probably not a good time to say 'I potted the white and black together', could be tenuiously offensive to some militant types I guess. But my girlfriend still didn't understand, so just as the large fella was no more than 2 feet in front of us I said 'No, you can't have the white and black together, they should never be together'.
The stare the bloke gave me was scary as hell.
I don't play that much pool anymore.
(Thu 12th Jun 2008, 16:44, More)
The White and Black Should Never Be Together
One sunny day I was strolling up the road telling my girlfriend about the game of pool I played last night. 'I played really well and was going to win, but I played a foul on the last shot and so lost the game'.
My girlfriend, not being a font of knowledge on pool didn't understand and so she asked me to explain how I could have lost the game on the final shot. Just as I began explaining, unbenownst to me, a couple was walking down the same side of the road. The gentleman was a large black fellow and his ladyfriend was of the white skinned persuasion. I have no issues with this. However in all innocence this was probably not a good time to say 'I potted the white and black together', could be tenuiously offensive to some militant types I guess. But my girlfriend still didn't understand, so just as the large fella was no more than 2 feet in front of us I said 'No, you can't have the white and black together, they should never be together'.
The stare the bloke gave me was scary as hell.
I don't play that much pool anymore.
(Thu 12th Jun 2008, 16:44, More)
» Shoddy Presents
mmm, cat food.
Aah, brothers, so young, so..err, gullable...
Last year I got my bro the Bruce Almighty DVD, but being quite a tight little sod his presents in recent years hadnt quite been up to the standard of mine. The year before he had got me a plastic wall walker thingy from a pound shop (with the price tag still on). So I warned him...
I got him two presents, the DVD and a tin of cat food. I made sure I opened my pressie from him first, cunning bugger went halves with my mum on a digital camera. He got the DVD, and the cat food, cos Im a generous soul. he he
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 15:02, More)
mmm, cat food.
Aah, brothers, so young, so..err, gullable...
Last year I got my bro the Bruce Almighty DVD, but being quite a tight little sod his presents in recent years hadnt quite been up to the standard of mine. The year before he had got me a plastic wall walker thingy from a pound shop (with the price tag still on). So I warned him...
I got him two presents, the DVD and a tin of cat food. I made sure I opened my pressie from him first, cunning bugger went halves with my mum on a digital camera. He got the DVD, and the cat food, cos Im a generous soul. he he
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 15:02, More)
» People with Stupid Names
Mr Nick King and his sister Joe
Did these people have parents who despised children, rather think so.
Nick looks an awful lot like penfold...
(Sun 29th Aug 2004, 23:45, More)
Mr Nick King and his sister Joe
Did these people have parents who despised children, rather think so.
Nick looks an awful lot like penfold...
(Sun 29th Aug 2004, 23:45, More)