» My Worst Vomit

kids eh?
When I was 2 my parents took me on holiday to Germany. There was a wedding at the hotel that we were staying at, and , even though we weren't from the area, the bride and groom kindly invited us to their reception. I was a pretty cute baby and when the bride saw me, she asked my mother if she could have her picture taken with me, as she thought it would be nice to have a picture of herself in her full wedding gear holding a very cute, fat baby.
Unfortunately, what with all the people passing me to each other ( bear in mind I had just drink a bottle of milk), by the time I got to the bride I was violently sick all over her, completely ruining her dress...and, quite possibly the happiest day of her life.
I wonder whether they are still married? Or whether that bride ever got over a fat baby spewing all over her dress?
(Sat 21st Aug 2004, 6:43, More)

» Embarrassing Injuries

when I was in the girl guides... (no laughing at the back please...)
We were playing a game of softball. Our team won and I was so excited that I threw my bat in the air to celebrate (I thought this was what cool baseball players did - how was I to know?). I meant to catch it, but unfortunately, I didn't and it landed on my face, and I got a black eye, which was embarrassing not only because I had to tell people how I had done it, but also I had to tell people I was in the girl guides, which was much worse.....
(Mon 6th Sep 2004, 4:37, More)

» Singing the wrong words

Shania
Ooh, I forgot this one,,,,,

In "that don't impress me much" , does she say ' I can't believe you kiss your car goodnight,' or 'I can't believe you kiss your cock at night'? which is what I am hearing.
(Wed 2nd Feb 2005, 0:39, More)

» Singing the wrong words

Alanis and Christina...oh, and Billy Ray
Fighter(?) by Christina Aguilera (sp?) - she is definitely singing 'Thanks for making me...wider', not 'Thanks for making me a fighter'.

'You oughta know' - By Alanis Morissette - 'The cross eyed bear that you gave to me.'

Plus, I read the Billy Ray Cyrus reply on here: Until I was 22, I thought he was called Billy Ray Cyprus, Until a group of my friends corrected me...the shame.
BTW, great question... now I can't hear any of these songs without hearing these alternative lyrics. Thanks.
(Tue 1st Feb 2005, 20:54, More)

» Local Nutters

How do I know all of these?
Am I a nutter collecter? Because I have lived in Winchester, London and Guildford, and have seen most of the people mentioned in those parts of the country....
my favourites have to be:
The puppet guy in Guildford. Once he was seen in the friary shopping centre holding a bulb over his head shouting ' I've had a bright idea'. and another time holding a tyre yelling 'I'm a little tired'

Sinner Winner Man: I too have seen 'don't be a sinner, be a winner' in sunny Oxford street.. However, my fave has to be when I went to see the Manic Street Preachers at Wembley, and he was outside the tube station yelling 'Jesus was the original Manic Street Preacher!'

good grief....

However, originating from the delightful town of Alton, we have more nutters than you can shake a stick at, such as:
The man who wears short shorts all year round because he says he needs to for medical reasons...
The guy who, if anyone in any shops asks him for a loyalty/credit card, goes on for about 20 minutes about plastic being evil and satanic. He also refers to Petrol as 'Satan's Milk' which he wrote all over the petrol pumps at my local sainsbury's
(Thu 16th Sep 2004, 19:25, More)