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» World's Sickest Joke
And my absolute favourite
- which also doubles as useful advice:
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck it off
(Tue 14th Sep 2004, 12:27, More)
And my absolute favourite
- which also doubles as useful advice:
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck it off
(Tue 14th Sep 2004, 12:27, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
Halloween
A married couple was invited to a Halloween party. That night, as they were
getting ready to go out, the wife said she had developed a migraine headache
and had to stay home. She told her husband to go to the party without her.
"Don't let me spoil a good time for you," she said. After further
discussion, the husband put his mask and costume on and went to the party.
The wife took some aspirin and went to bed.
After sleeping for a while, she woke feeling much better and decided to go to the party and surprise her husband. As she was getting ready, she
thought to herself, "I wonder what my husband really does when I'm not
around." She then got into a different mask and costume, so her husband wouldn't recognize her, and went to the party.
Getting there, she stood off to the side and watched.
There was her husband dancing with one girl after another and getting very physical with them. She decided to see just how far he would go. She went
up to him and started dancing with him, got very close and whispered that they should go outside. Going to one of the cars, they made love.
Prior to the midnight unmasking, she left and went home to wait for her
husband to return so she could confront him.
He arrived home about 1:00 a.m. and climbed into bed.
She sat up and asked "Well, how was the party?" He replied, "It was no fun
without you honey."
She said, "I don't believe you. I bet you had lots of fun!"
He replied, "Really, Honey. When I got to the party, some of the guys and I
got bored and we went downstairs and played poker all night.
I loaned my costume to your dad. He said he had one hell of a great time."
(Tue 14th Sep 2004, 12:25, More)
Halloween
A married couple was invited to a Halloween party. That night, as they were
getting ready to go out, the wife said she had developed a migraine headache
and had to stay home. She told her husband to go to the party without her.
"Don't let me spoil a good time for you," she said. After further
discussion, the husband put his mask and costume on and went to the party.
The wife took some aspirin and went to bed.
After sleeping for a while, she woke feeling much better and decided to go to the party and surprise her husband. As she was getting ready, she
thought to herself, "I wonder what my husband really does when I'm not
around." She then got into a different mask and costume, so her husband wouldn't recognize her, and went to the party.
Getting there, she stood off to the side and watched.
There was her husband dancing with one girl after another and getting very physical with them. She decided to see just how far he would go. She went
up to him and started dancing with him, got very close and whispered that they should go outside. Going to one of the cars, they made love.
Prior to the midnight unmasking, she left and went home to wait for her
husband to return so she could confront him.
He arrived home about 1:00 a.m. and climbed into bed.
She sat up and asked "Well, how was the party?" He replied, "It was no fun
without you honey."
She said, "I don't believe you. I bet you had lots of fun!"
He replied, "Really, Honey. When I got to the party, some of the guys and I
got bored and we went downstairs and played poker all night.
I loaned my costume to your dad. He said he had one hell of a great time."
(Tue 14th Sep 2004, 12:25, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
Not quite seasonal - but
What is bloody and slimy and goes "ho ho ho"?
Placenta Claus
(I've gotta million of 'em)
(Tue 14th Sep 2004, 11:16, More)
Not quite seasonal - but
What is bloody and slimy and goes "ho ho ho"?
Placenta Claus
(I've gotta million of 'em)
(Tue 14th Sep 2004, 11:16, More)
» Shoddy Presents
garage sale queen
My nana is vaguely crazy, and spends all her money on the races and furs, and so has none left to spend on presents. Instead, she would go to garage sales, buy random second hand toys and clothes, put them in clear plastic bags, and then sellotape on a price tag which she had pilfered from something she actually had bought new. I was always impressed with her attempts at sneakiness until the year she bought us all second hand underwear. Then I was just grossed out.
(Tue 28th Sep 2004, 16:41, More)
garage sale queen
My nana is vaguely crazy, and spends all her money on the races and furs, and so has none left to spend on presents. Instead, she would go to garage sales, buy random second hand toys and clothes, put them in clear plastic bags, and then sellotape on a price tag which she had pilfered from something she actually had bought new. I was always impressed with her attempts at sneakiness until the year she bought us all second hand underwear. Then I was just grossed out.
(Tue 28th Sep 2004, 16:41, More)