Profile for diffy maybs:
Hello, I am me and I am23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 old. I like some stuff and some things and some people. I also dislike some stuff and some things and some people.
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Hello, I am me and I am
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» Strict Parents
Jesus, where do I start?
My parents were horrid, truly horrid. One example is when I had left school at 16 and before I started college in September I worked in a factory for an agency to get a bit of money, fair play to me as my parents would never give me any money.
Anyway, I started work at 2pm and finished at 10, getting home at about 10:30 - 10:45, being dropped off by the agency bus.
When I got in, I was hungry, grubby, needed the loo (being female I can't poo in a public toilet) and wanted to wind down before going to bed. My mother would never cook me a meal with the rest of the family and leave it for me to reheat, so I would come in and cook myself something, eat it in the front room (parents would be in bed by about 10) with the telly on really low watching Jerry Springer whilst running a bath, finish eating, tidy up what I'd used, put it away, turn off everything that needed turing off and go to the loo, get in the bath, go to bed. Sounds fairly tame doesn't it?
Well, like I say my parents are cunts and mum had a word with me one day about how she and dad could smell the food I was cooking at night so I had to stop cooking any dinner when I got in. I did so, tried toast, sandwiches, but got told they could hear me moving about in the kitchen, so in the end, I'd come home to find the kitchen door closed and I wasn't allowed to open it.
Then she said they could hear the telly (one night I didn't even put it on and read a book for a while in the front room instead but the next day she moaned the telly had kept them awake and I was no longer allowed to put it on) so I'd come home and find they had hidden the remote (couldnt turn telly on without it), so theres me, no food, no telly.
THEN, she takes me aside one day and explains as thier bedroom is next to the bathroom they could hear me run the bath and flush the loo, so could I not do either anymore, I explained that if I had a shit I couldnt exactly not flush it, so she just told me that I wasn't allowed to poo anymore when I got in, I promise this is all true. And not to have a bath either as they heard it being run and then emptied.
So basically when I got in, my only option was to go to bed (where I couldn't put the light on as I shared with my little sister and she'd wake up) and that was it.
My parents banned me from eating, watching tv, pooing and bathing.
A few months later she kicked me out, and 3 years ago I cut off all contact with them.
Cunts.
(Tue 13th Mar 2007, 19:29, More)
Jesus, where do I start?
My parents were horrid, truly horrid. One example is when I had left school at 16 and before I started college in September I worked in a factory for an agency to get a bit of money, fair play to me as my parents would never give me any money.
Anyway, I started work at 2pm and finished at 10, getting home at about 10:30 - 10:45, being dropped off by the agency bus.
When I got in, I was hungry, grubby, needed the loo (being female I can't poo in a public toilet) and wanted to wind down before going to bed. My mother would never cook me a meal with the rest of the family and leave it for me to reheat, so I would come in and cook myself something, eat it in the front room (parents would be in bed by about 10) with the telly on really low watching Jerry Springer whilst running a bath, finish eating, tidy up what I'd used, put it away, turn off everything that needed turing off and go to the loo, get in the bath, go to bed. Sounds fairly tame doesn't it?
Well, like I say my parents are cunts and mum had a word with me one day about how she and dad could smell the food I was cooking at night so I had to stop cooking any dinner when I got in. I did so, tried toast, sandwiches, but got told they could hear me moving about in the kitchen, so in the end, I'd come home to find the kitchen door closed and I wasn't allowed to open it.
Then she said they could hear the telly (one night I didn't even put it on and read a book for a while in the front room instead but the next day she moaned the telly had kept them awake and I was no longer allowed to put it on) so I'd come home and find they had hidden the remote (couldnt turn telly on without it), so theres me, no food, no telly.
THEN, she takes me aside one day and explains as thier bedroom is next to the bathroom they could hear me run the bath and flush the loo, so could I not do either anymore, I explained that if I had a shit I couldnt exactly not flush it, so she just told me that I wasn't allowed to poo anymore when I got in, I promise this is all true. And not to have a bath either as they heard it being run and then emptied.
So basically when I got in, my only option was to go to bed (where I couldn't put the light on as I shared with my little sister and she'd wake up) and that was it.
My parents banned me from eating, watching tv, pooing and bathing.
A few months later she kicked me out, and 3 years ago I cut off all contact with them.
Cunts.
(Tue 13th Mar 2007, 19:29, More)
» Too much information
Hiya
I got up this morning and realised I had dribbled a little bit over the edge of my pillow, it had dried and gone all white, so now it looks like a cum stain. Still that's alright though I expect I can stare at it and have that help get me off next time I'm flicking one off eh? I do that quite often you know, more than once a day, as many as 8 in one day before!
But that's what I need, see, orgasms, I just don't function very well unless first thing in the morning I slide my hands over my body, I start at my breasts and fondle my nipples, in fact I’m getting a bit excited just thinking about it. Anyway I love to touch and squeeze them until they get all hard and then I like to lick my fingers and rub some more, as I do this I can feel my pussy getting wet and I try and hold off just as long as I can before I touch myself, if I can hold off I run my hands over my hips and feel my curves, that gets me smiling, I can tell you.
Obviously I have a vibrator but I like to touch myself with my fingers as it feels better, skin to skin, you know? I start off with some really gentle rubbing, not directly on my clit, but just above it, it makes me feel so lovely and all warm and tingly. In normally end up with my left hand back caressing my breasts at this point, I close my eyes and imagine someone, like a stranger or something doing it to me. As I get faster and a little harder my hand slides down to my pussy again and I use my left hand to finger myself whilst still gently rubbing just above my clit.
As my fingers first push into my hot, wet pussy it feels amazing, I lift my hips and push myself onto them and at this point, even though I try not to, I really do I end up with my right hand rubbing directly onto my clit, I get harder and faster and buck my hips to finger myself deeper.
I've got this real thing about noisy sex too, so why not noisy masturbation? I like to groan and squeak when I do this, it adds to it, uses more of my senses. Once I’m fingering and thrusting I know I’m not far from my first orgasm and I get faster to get there. Ohhhh and then that feeling comes, that huge, body filling, wave of niceness that I just can't describe, I moan and groan through it and enjoy the throbs of orgasm my pussy gives. I can't stop there though, as soon as that throbbing, those waves start to fade, I rub harder and faster to feel them again, it's like a need more than a want, an overwhelming urge to pleasure myself again and again. As I'll only just have cum I get there again really soon but it feels just as good, if not better as the first orgasmic waves are still there, albeit faintly but I start to shake as I feel them arriving again and groan with the pleasure of it all...
Sorry just realised I'm rambling, sorry if that was too much information :)
(Tue 11th Sep 2007, 21:58, More)
Hiya
I got up this morning and realised I had dribbled a little bit over the edge of my pillow, it had dried and gone all white, so now it looks like a cum stain. Still that's alright though I expect I can stare at it and have that help get me off next time I'm flicking one off eh? I do that quite often you know, more than once a day, as many as 8 in one day before!
But that's what I need, see, orgasms, I just don't function very well unless first thing in the morning I slide my hands over my body, I start at my breasts and fondle my nipples, in fact I’m getting a bit excited just thinking about it. Anyway I love to touch and squeeze them until they get all hard and then I like to lick my fingers and rub some more, as I do this I can feel my pussy getting wet and I try and hold off just as long as I can before I touch myself, if I can hold off I run my hands over my hips and feel my curves, that gets me smiling, I can tell you.
Obviously I have a vibrator but I like to touch myself with my fingers as it feels better, skin to skin, you know? I start off with some really gentle rubbing, not directly on my clit, but just above it, it makes me feel so lovely and all warm and tingly. In normally end up with my left hand back caressing my breasts at this point, I close my eyes and imagine someone, like a stranger or something doing it to me. As I get faster and a little harder my hand slides down to my pussy again and I use my left hand to finger myself whilst still gently rubbing just above my clit.
As my fingers first push into my hot, wet pussy it feels amazing, I lift my hips and push myself onto them and at this point, even though I try not to, I really do I end up with my right hand rubbing directly onto my clit, I get harder and faster and buck my hips to finger myself deeper.
I've got this real thing about noisy sex too, so why not noisy masturbation? I like to groan and squeak when I do this, it adds to it, uses more of my senses. Once I’m fingering and thrusting I know I’m not far from my first orgasm and I get faster to get there. Ohhhh and then that feeling comes, that huge, body filling, wave of niceness that I just can't describe, I moan and groan through it and enjoy the throbs of orgasm my pussy gives. I can't stop there though, as soon as that throbbing, those waves start to fade, I rub harder and faster to feel them again, it's like a need more than a want, an overwhelming urge to pleasure myself again and again. As I'll only just have cum I get there again really soon but it feels just as good, if not better as the first orgasmic waves are still there, albeit faintly but I start to shake as I feel them arriving again and groan with the pleasure of it all...
Sorry just realised I'm rambling, sorry if that was too much information :)
(Tue 11th Sep 2007, 21:58, More)
» Kids
Okay, not my own child but
There was 10 years between me and my little sister and I was left looking after her an awful lot. I honestly didn't ever mean to be cruel but sometimes things were good for...a laugh.
When she was 4 I sat her down and explained what adopted meant, not for any real reason apart from I taught her that her name (lets call her Sarah) meant 'you're adopted and I hate you'. And that her real name was Bert and Bert meant 'beautiful, wonderful daughter'. Great laughs when the 'rents got back.
----------------------------------
Remember those invisible pens you could get (mum got them on QVC)? You drew with the normal pens but could 'erase' them by going over it with the white pen. Anyway, when I was about 12, I was busy drawing all over her face (stared off by doing 'chin people' but got carried away), I drew a house, rainbow, trees, a park (all very small), all over, then started writing, first my name, then hers then, for some reason 'fuck' and 'shit' and 'wanker'.
I hear parents coming home and me panicking and quickly rubbing her whole face over with white pen, which, thankfully worked. All plain faced, lovely.
They are going shopping, does Sarah want to come, yes, yes she does, does different_maybe? No, she doesn't. Okay, off they go to The Hypermarket, which also has a cafe, where they go to have a drink and a cake after shopping. Where the white pen starts to not work anymore, where the colour starts coming through, with all the pictures showing...and the writing.
Mum and Dada and Sarah in the hypermarket cafe with pictures all over her little face, and some smudged writing too with a clear as crystal FUCK right in the centre of her forehead.
----------------------
As I already mentioned, I had to look after her an awful lot and I'd get so bored. So to liven up the day, I'd die. Right in front of her, make dramatic clutches to my throat, gasp and splutter and then fall to the floor with one arm up in the air reaching out to her, then falling limply to the floor when I finally died, normally with a last try at...help me...
She'd sob and scream, calling my name out over and over, diff, she'd cry, diff, wake up, please wake up, I love you, please don't die. Then she'd cry, normally with her head on my tummy, arms desperately trying to wake me.
Then after a while (about 45 minutes or so) I'd shout BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and scare the shit out of her.
-------------------------------
Mum always complained that Sarah always asked for things when they went shopping and were always on at me to make her stop it, so one day, I sat her down on my knee and explained to her she really shouldn't ask for so many things.....just one thing, then keep on and on about it until she got it and explained the folks would listen to her better if she stamped her feet, shouted a little louder and maybe said things like, why won't you feed me, I'm so hungry.
I got a beating for that one :D
--------------------------------------
Many, many more. I do feel bad and I'd never have done that as an adult with my own kids (except that time I put my daughter in the fridge, just to see if she'd fit...she did, didn't close the door, not all the way up). However in my defence I never caused her pain and at that age i shouldn't have been left alone with her so often for such long periods of time.
I was evil :(
(Sat 19th Apr 2008, 15:18, More)
Okay, not my own child but
There was 10 years between me and my little sister and I was left looking after her an awful lot. I honestly didn't ever mean to be cruel but sometimes things were good for...a laugh.
When she was 4 I sat her down and explained what adopted meant, not for any real reason apart from I taught her that her name (lets call her Sarah) meant 'you're adopted and I hate you'. And that her real name was Bert and Bert meant 'beautiful, wonderful daughter'. Great laughs when the 'rents got back.
----------------------------------
Remember those invisible pens you could get (mum got them on QVC)? You drew with the normal pens but could 'erase' them by going over it with the white pen. Anyway, when I was about 12, I was busy drawing all over her face (stared off by doing 'chin people' but got carried away), I drew a house, rainbow, trees, a park (all very small), all over, then started writing, first my name, then hers then, for some reason 'fuck' and 'shit' and 'wanker'.
I hear parents coming home and me panicking and quickly rubbing her whole face over with white pen, which, thankfully worked. All plain faced, lovely.
They are going shopping, does Sarah want to come, yes, yes she does, does different_maybe? No, she doesn't. Okay, off they go to The Hypermarket, which also has a cafe, where they go to have a drink and a cake after shopping. Where the white pen starts to not work anymore, where the colour starts coming through, with all the pictures showing...and the writing.
Mum and Dada and Sarah in the hypermarket cafe with pictures all over her little face, and some smudged writing too with a clear as crystal FUCK right in the centre of her forehead.
----------------------
As I already mentioned, I had to look after her an awful lot and I'd get so bored. So to liven up the day, I'd die. Right in front of her, make dramatic clutches to my throat, gasp and splutter and then fall to the floor with one arm up in the air reaching out to her, then falling limply to the floor when I finally died, normally with a last try at...help me...
She'd sob and scream, calling my name out over and over, diff, she'd cry, diff, wake up, please wake up, I love you, please don't die. Then she'd cry, normally with her head on my tummy, arms desperately trying to wake me.
Then after a while (about 45 minutes or so) I'd shout BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and scare the shit out of her.
-------------------------------
Mum always complained that Sarah always asked for things when they went shopping and were always on at me to make her stop it, so one day, I sat her down on my knee and explained to her she really shouldn't ask for so many things.....just one thing, then keep on and on about it until she got it and explained the folks would listen to her better if she stamped her feet, shouted a little louder and maybe said things like, why won't you feed me, I'm so hungry.
I got a beating for that one :D
--------------------------------------
Many, many more. I do feel bad and I'd never have done that as an adult with my own kids (except that time I put my daughter in the fridge, just to see if she'd fit...she did, didn't close the door, not all the way up). However in my defence I never caused her pain and at that age i shouldn't have been left alone with her so often for such long periods of time.
I was evil :(
(Sat 19th Apr 2008, 15:18, More)
» The worst sex I ever had
Ohhh, I have one!
It was when I was with my ex hubby, we'd been together years and years so it was very seldom 'The Urge' ever took us.
So one day our daughter was out with Granny and we were home alone...we start getting a little frisky...DURING THE DAYTIME!!! Old habits die hard so we head upstairs whilst kissing and trying to undress each other.
He took my top off, no probs...I tried his but the head hole on that particualr t shirt was quite small and a bit of a struggle for him so he had to yank it off on his own in the end...not in the least bit offputting, had a giggle, on we go.
A few more stairs up and I'm tugging at his jeans, I'm trying to undo them but I just can't...on closer imspection I discover a safty pin that's holding his zip up as it's broken, that's fine I think...goes to unclip it, cue pin in finger, ouch! Slightly more offputting but we carry on. Keeping with the trousers theme I pull them down only to realise he still has his shoes on and they won't go over his shoes. So he has to sit down and unlace his shoes and then take them off.
Anyway, by now we're upstairs and he's at my trousers...he gets them off then just idly flings them out of the room...to the landing, which is being decorated and there's paint and dust and all sorts everywhere, so off I scoot to retrieve them...they were my best kecks...
So there's us, just in our undies standing by our bed...which has our daughters toys all over it, *sigh*, so we start clearing all of them off and then, we get ready to carry on.
He comes over to me, slide his hands around my back and starts to undo my bra........and still he tries...and yet still he tries...in the end he settled for sort of sliding it down my body as opposed to undoing it...
I slip my finger into the top of his boxers to take them off of him and as I do...Riiiiiiiiiiip, they tear on my longish nails, he starts getting a paddy on about how he really likes these ones and they fit him really well and couldn't have I been a bit more careful...
After that he pushed me down on the bed and started kissing me...mmmmmm, lovely I think but my glasses are in the way...so I take them off and hand them to him to put down on the bedside cabinet as I can't reach it, he does so...lens down...I'm sure they're lens down...they're going to get scratched and I've just paid £70 quid for them...fuck it...I ask him to check, yes they were lens down and yes, with a big grumble he'll right them for me, so that's it...knickers come off with no trouble (hmmmmm) and we get down to it...
After all that bloody palava to get there it was shit, largly as I trod on his testicles as we changed position and really quite hurt him...sorry Luke.
We're not together now.
Something about length...this post...not Luke :)
(Mon 18th Jun 2007, 15:12, More)
Ohhh, I have one!
It was when I was with my ex hubby, we'd been together years and years so it was very seldom 'The Urge' ever took us.
So one day our daughter was out with Granny and we were home alone...we start getting a little frisky...DURING THE DAYTIME!!! Old habits die hard so we head upstairs whilst kissing and trying to undress each other.
He took my top off, no probs...I tried his but the head hole on that particualr t shirt was quite small and a bit of a struggle for him so he had to yank it off on his own in the end...not in the least bit offputting, had a giggle, on we go.
A few more stairs up and I'm tugging at his jeans, I'm trying to undo them but I just can't...on closer imspection I discover a safty pin that's holding his zip up as it's broken, that's fine I think...goes to unclip it, cue pin in finger, ouch! Slightly more offputting but we carry on. Keeping with the trousers theme I pull them down only to realise he still has his shoes on and they won't go over his shoes. So he has to sit down and unlace his shoes and then take them off.
Anyway, by now we're upstairs and he's at my trousers...he gets them off then just idly flings them out of the room...to the landing, which is being decorated and there's paint and dust and all sorts everywhere, so off I scoot to retrieve them...they were my best kecks...
So there's us, just in our undies standing by our bed...which has our daughters toys all over it, *sigh*, so we start clearing all of them off and then, we get ready to carry on.
He comes over to me, slide his hands around my back and starts to undo my bra........and still he tries...and yet still he tries...in the end he settled for sort of sliding it down my body as opposed to undoing it...
I slip my finger into the top of his boxers to take them off of him and as I do...Riiiiiiiiiiip, they tear on my longish nails, he starts getting a paddy on about how he really likes these ones and they fit him really well and couldn't have I been a bit more careful...
After that he pushed me down on the bed and started kissing me...mmmmmm, lovely I think but my glasses are in the way...so I take them off and hand them to him to put down on the bedside cabinet as I can't reach it, he does so...lens down...I'm sure they're lens down...they're going to get scratched and I've just paid £70 quid for them...fuck it...I ask him to check, yes they were lens down and yes, with a big grumble he'll right them for me, so that's it...knickers come off with no trouble (hmmmmm) and we get down to it...
After all that bloody palava to get there it was shit, largly as I trod on his testicles as we changed position and really quite hurt him...sorry Luke.
We're not together now.
Something about length...this post...not Luke :)
(Mon 18th Jun 2007, 15:12, More)
» My computer gave away my secrets
A ha, just thought of another. Not me though.
My ex, Luke, is a bit techy so he's always having to fix little probs for friends and family, he doesn't mind, in fact he enjoys it.
Anyway, my nan and grandad asked him if he'd mind going round to a friend of theirs who had recently bought a digital camera but didn't know how to use it.
Cue Luke going round to (shall we call him Ron, for that was his name?) Ron's house, bear in mind this Ron is 75. Luke looks at cam, it's a gooden, can take movie clips and stuff, so he starts showing Ron what to do with it. He takes a few test photos of the computer etc just to show him how to get images from the camera to the PC, and a little 10 second clip, for the same reason.
Plugs in camera and shows him what to do, Ron askes how to find these images and clips and how to open them (duh), so again, Luke clicks here and there to show him how. He gets to the folder and to show him how to open the clips, he double clicks, expecting to see his little 10 second clip he just shot, now Ron isn't at all techy, his system basically came out of the ark so it's slow, real slow.
Up pops Media Player to show Luke Ron bashing away, full on zoomed onto his cock. Ron and Luke are sitting next to each other at this point, as close as you and me are right now, he's feeling a teensy bit awkward so he hits close, and you know when a system is so old that when you click something it takes about 17 years to do it? Well that's what happened here, after it eventually closed down Ron pipes up, oh is that still on there? I thought i'd got rid of that...how do you delete stuff from the camera then Luke?
Since then Ron has got clever, he can now download stuff and burn it onto CD too, I know this as Luke found 'Club Erotica' and 'Busty Maidens' in his CD drawer.
Thing is, my grandad goes to Rons house once a week to have a play on the computer and catch up...oh God!
(Tue 14th Feb 2006, 17:14, More)
A ha, just thought of another. Not me though.
My ex, Luke, is a bit techy so he's always having to fix little probs for friends and family, he doesn't mind, in fact he enjoys it.
Anyway, my nan and grandad asked him if he'd mind going round to a friend of theirs who had recently bought a digital camera but didn't know how to use it.
Cue Luke going round to (shall we call him Ron, for that was his name?) Ron's house, bear in mind this Ron is 75. Luke looks at cam, it's a gooden, can take movie clips and stuff, so he starts showing Ron what to do with it. He takes a few test photos of the computer etc just to show him how to get images from the camera to the PC, and a little 10 second clip, for the same reason.
Plugs in camera and shows him what to do, Ron askes how to find these images and clips and how to open them (duh), so again, Luke clicks here and there to show him how. He gets to the folder and to show him how to open the clips, he double clicks, expecting to see his little 10 second clip he just shot, now Ron isn't at all techy, his system basically came out of the ark so it's slow, real slow.
Up pops Media Player to show Luke Ron bashing away, full on zoomed onto his cock. Ron and Luke are sitting next to each other at this point, as close as you and me are right now, he's feeling a teensy bit awkward so he hits close, and you know when a system is so old that when you click something it takes about 17 years to do it? Well that's what happened here, after it eventually closed down Ron pipes up, oh is that still on there? I thought i'd got rid of that...how do you delete stuff from the camera then Luke?
Since then Ron has got clever, he can now download stuff and burn it onto CD too, I know this as Luke found 'Club Erotica' and 'Busty Maidens' in his CD drawer.
Thing is, my grandad goes to Rons house once a week to have a play on the computer and catch up...oh God!
(Tue 14th Feb 2006, 17:14, More)