» When I met the parents

embarrasing old's..
Always too embarrased as a teenager to admit I had boyfriends to my parents, I finally bit the bullet and brought one home for the old's to meet when I was 19. As far as they were concerned he was my first.

He was a good-looking, respectable 24yr old - I figured he would pass any test they might have.

So, he's sat on the couch fielding their questions with ease and charm when Mum excuses herself and leaves the room. Dad, bf and I carry on talking and suddenly we're being blinded by flashes of light. I could hear the familiar sound of a camera winding itself on.

me: "what the hell are you doing?"
mad ma: " sorry *bf*, but *girliebitz* has never brought home a boy for us to meet - this is so exciting, I have to take photo's of the occasion... could you just sit next to *girliebitz*? "

cue: us leaving quicksmart & me telling ma it wouldn't be happening again. 11yrs, several relationships later she's still waiting to meet the next one
(Tue 24th May 2005, 13:46, More)

» When animals attack...

always look where you're going..
try being chased across a pebble beach by a fuck off big Walrus who's territory you've just walked into ... they may be ugly and they may be huge but they can fucking move.
sh*t my pants... I very nearly did.

length & girth? not willing to find out.
(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 14:57, More)