Profile for AveUseenIT:
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- a member for 18 years, 7 months and 12 days
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- has posted 16 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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» The Police
When stopped by the Rozzers...
...for braking incredibly late at a roundabout and taking the perfect racing line at 2am in the morning - when there was no-one else around - the "naused-off for having to do the late shift" rozzer approached my car and I lowered the window. Cacking it because I knew I also had a bulb out in the brake-light, my mate who'd been smoking and drinking all night decided to answer the standard questions on my behalf..and in his best Alec Guinness voice bellowed out, "These arent the droids you're looking for..!" Breath test and car search followed, along with a ticket to produce documents in 7days. The dirty rozzer even took my FHM magazine.
(Thu 22nd Sep 2005, 12:17, More)
When stopped by the Rozzers...
...for braking incredibly late at a roundabout and taking the perfect racing line at 2am in the morning - when there was no-one else around - the "naused-off for having to do the late shift" rozzer approached my car and I lowered the window. Cacking it because I knew I also had a bulb out in the brake-light, my mate who'd been smoking and drinking all night decided to answer the standard questions on my behalf..and in his best Alec Guinness voice bellowed out, "These arent the droids you're looking for..!" Breath test and car search followed, along with a ticket to produce documents in 7days. The dirty rozzer even took my FHM magazine.
(Thu 22nd Sep 2005, 12:17, More)
» The Police
Police, Camera, Achtung!
For full value out of your local authorities, dial your local police station and ask to speak to P.C. World, or if he's not available - his boss....D.I. Drayted.
(Thu 22nd Sep 2005, 12:03, More)
Police, Camera, Achtung!
For full value out of your local authorities, dial your local police station and ask to speak to P.C. World, or if he's not available - his boss....D.I. Drayted.
(Thu 22nd Sep 2005, 12:03, More)
» Posh
Posh-bosh.
I joined a comprehensive at 12 and had to sit next to a stuck-up prat called Ian Leadbetter. His mum was on the education board and insisted that he appealed against his exam results so that he could go to a posh grammar school in the area. In the meantime, he had to come to my school. He had all the lines about how rubbish my school was and surprise-surprise his mum got him moved to the grammar school. Shame your results weren't as good as mine and at least my school was better at fighting than yours. And we didn't try and cycle away when it all kicked off.How's the hood on your coat? Hurt your neck when I ripped it off, did it? Good! That right-foot volley into your stomach was very satisfying, considering the chain had come off your £200 BMX at the wrong moment. Haha. Mega-goooood!
(Tue 20th Sep 2005, 14:18, More)
Posh-bosh.
I joined a comprehensive at 12 and had to sit next to a stuck-up prat called Ian Leadbetter. His mum was on the education board and insisted that he appealed against his exam results so that he could go to a posh grammar school in the area. In the meantime, he had to come to my school. He had all the lines about how rubbish my school was and surprise-surprise his mum got him moved to the grammar school. Shame your results weren't as good as mine and at least my school was better at fighting than yours. And we didn't try and cycle away when it all kicked off.How's the hood on your coat? Hurt your neck when I ripped it off, did it? Good! That right-foot volley into your stomach was very satisfying, considering the chain had come off your £200 BMX at the wrong moment. Haha. Mega-goooood!
(Tue 20th Sep 2005, 14:18, More)
» Posh
Posh
Posh Fact - Posh people DONT drink UM Bongo. I rang the Embassy of Democratic Republic of Congo - 020 7278 9825 and I was informed of this fact. Also, they refused tell me the exact whereabouts of the factory. "Way-down-deep in the middle of the Congo" is no help to anyone!
(Tue 20th Sep 2005, 10:31, More)
Posh
Posh Fact - Posh people DONT drink UM Bongo. I rang the Embassy of Democratic Republic of Congo - 020 7278 9825 and I was informed of this fact. Also, they refused tell me the exact whereabouts of the factory. "Way-down-deep in the middle of the Congo" is no help to anyone!
(Tue 20th Sep 2005, 10:31, More)
» The Police
There's a hole in the Nudist Camp Fence.....
...police officers are looking into it.
That one stinks. Sorry.
(Fri 23rd Sep 2005, 12:34, More)
There's a hole in the Nudist Camp Fence.....
...police officers are looking into it.
That one stinks. Sorry.
(Fri 23rd Sep 2005, 12:34, More)