b3ta.com user robertsione
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for robertsione:
Profile Info:

none

Recent front page messages:


none

Best answers to questions:

» Apparently I'm a sex offender

Herman the german
many moons ago a friend of mine had a german family staying with him.

As their five year old son emerged from the swimming pool, i thought i would reach across the cultural barriers (show off) by speaking to the young lad using the sparce and only german i know

(outside of the old commando comics achtung donner und blitzen)

This being "vas ist das", meaning "what is that" (i hope).

i grinned cockily and pointed to the only piece of clothing he was wearing, his trunks.

the poor lad then sprung a tear as he dropped his head and pointed to his wee fella, with both family's watching on in silent horror as i appeared to be pointlessly ridiculing their teutonic spawn for my perverted pleasure.

i think i am still there stuck in this moment in some form of satanic pergatory.
(Wed 23rd Aug 2006, 18:58, More)

» My Greatest Regrets

bad
i was 16 at a gig of my favourite band drinking cider in the bar and was shocked when i got chatted up by a woman (a unique experience)who when i told her how much i loved the band took me around backstage whilst the band were on and asked me if i wanted to hang out with the band and go on the rest of the tour with them...but I told her i had school in the morning and couldn't do it. the shame and regret still live deep within.
(Thu 5th Oct 2006, 19:16, More)

» Heckles

my first and last heckle
Went to the comedy club in picadilly, the theme of the evening was a spot of improvisation comedy, which was all being judged by some poor plump member of the public who just happened to catch the compere's eye when he was looking for a sorry punter to stand up in front of us all and say "yea" or "nah" after each of the comedians told a themed gag.

Long story short, i disagreed with his 'yea' 'nah' call on one of the comedians and made a decision to stand up and (at a level I assumed would just merge in the ramelzee of background guffawing) i yelled
"what would you know you big fat cunt"

it was only when the compere came back on, and breaking the now deafening silence saying "ok lets calm down it's only comedy" i realised i had perhaps overstepped the mark.

oh by the way i'm not a big fat public school boy used to being needlessly overbearing and obnoxious.
(Thu 6th Apr 2006, 16:09, More)