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» Unexpected Good Fortune

The "New South Wales" Finest...
A couple of years ago I worked for a travel company and was very forunate enough to have a few free trips (The US, Turkey, Spain &, most memorably, Oz). These freebies are known as Fam Trips and are set up so "Travel Folk" can familiarise themselves with these places and enable them to be more knowledgeable when people ask what these places are like. However, they are well known for being "All-Expenses-Paid-Mass-Piss-Ups".

The Oz trip was a cracker. A 10 day all expenses paid Jolly starting in Sydney and ending in Melbourne. FANTASTIC!

On the outbound flight I was fortunate enough to meet a very pretty 22 year old stewardess for Singapore Airlines who invited me to a "private party" at her pad in the Sydney suburbs. The trip was off to a flyer. So, it was half five in the morning when I stumbled out of the young lady's house extremely pissed and extremely shagged out after an energetic few hours. After walking for 5 minutes I realised that I...

a) Had no idea where I was
b) Had no idea where my hotel was
c) Had no idea what my hotel was called

Anyways, the Old Captain Cook spirit took hold and I set off walking. An hour later I was well and truly lost and didn't have a fucking clue where I was heading. At that point I saw a welcome light coming from a local cop shop so headed in. The female rozzer on duty smiled and asked what I wanted whereupon I replied, "I'm a travel agent, I'm English, I'm pissed and I'm lost. Help!". She asked me what my hotel was called and I mumbled "The Sydney Old Harbour Rocks Inn or something..." whereupon she burst out laughing and called some of her rozzer mates out to laugh at the dumb "pome". After 5 minutes one of the rozzers said he was going out on his rounds and that he'd try and find my hotel. After a 45 minute drive round Sydney (going over the bridge twice!) we eventually found my hotel, just in time for me to meet my colleagues waiting outside the hotel ready to be whisked away to a tourist attraction.

GOD BLESS THE SYDNEY ROZZERS!
(Sat 16th Sep 2006, 13:53, More)