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» Housemates from hell
had a bit of a leeching asshole flatmate once....
one the house rules were that you supply your own food, toilet paper and other consumables. He would frequently "borrow" other peoples toilet paper.
Even though told repeatedly not to - kept using the landlady's computer as a stereo when playing pool/snooker - always left the volume up loud so when anyone else uses the PC it blasts the fuck out of them.
He didn't clean up after himself - landlady and her daughter (a real hottie!) were always cleaning up after him.
After his pushbike got stolen - he kept using another flatmate's bike without permission. I think the other flatmate gave up and let him keep it when the bike started to break up a bit. (my pushbike was always stored with a bike chain around the wheel so it was unrideable when I wasn't using it)
On one occasion he got drunk with a friend - his friend left after some stupid argument. So he decides to borrow the landlady's 4WD Ute WHILE DRUNK! to find his mate to continue the conversation. - The landlady was not happy about that. And almost kicked him out but now regretted giving him yet another "second chance"
On xmas day I felt like taking my pushbike for a ride - only to discover the back wheel was missing! (my bike lock was only around the front wheel and frame). Later I discover my back wheel had made it's way to the asshole's bike???
Not only that - around the same time period I had purchased a new computer - I come home from a night shift a bit early to find the asshole and his friend trying to use it to burn a music CD (I hadn't even got around to setting it up!).
At this point it meant war, so the night I kicked him off the computer I downloaded a tool to prevent him from loading the OS of the computer without the right password. I found it quite effective that I offered the solution to the landlady and her daughter - they were practically begging me to apply it.
Not long after locking down the computers - he made a goof of himself by asking the landlady's daughter why there was this "password" thing on the computer - she replied screaming at him "TO STOP FUCKWITS LIKE YOU FROM USING IT WITHOUT PERMISSION!!!" - only then he realises the gravity of the situation and goes red in the face from embarrasment.
When I discovered the bike wheel missing on Xmas day - I spent Xmas day reclaiming my bike whell and proceeding to dissassemble his bike down to the last bolt to shove in a box in the deepest corner of the basement.
How he ended up leaving the place was after we got another tennant in (the other guy left because he got sick of the asshole) because our new tennant was female he kind of went on a bit of a power trip and tried to intimidate the new girl.
At one stage the new girl and I plotted a bit of revenge on him (to make her feel better from the intimidation) so we did things like mix his CD collection covers (stevie wonder switched with marilyn manson for example). Reversed the cabling on his stereo speakers and other petty things.
We struggled to find a really effective way of getting back at him until I made the discovery of his stash of energy/muscle building drink formulas - I made an evil grin and said one word: LAXATIVE!!!!!!
The idea was so awesome that even the landlady joined in, we bought some laxative pills, crushed them down a mixed them into the formulas. We were afaid he wouldn't take 'em because the formulas where bright white colour and the laxative particles were brown. Sure enough the plan worked - he didn't know who did it even though we were all involved. We could tell he was suspecting me because of the revenge of the bike wheel and Computer lock.
He was too afraid to confront me, which I found amusing because the weedy little shrimp believed he was going to be the next big "soccer superstar" - some day after the bike incident after bribing his friend $20 to reassemble his bike he commented at me in passing for trashing his bike. I simply replied "shouldn't have done it in the first place!" - as hew was walking away he tried to act macho in front of his mate out of earshot. Unfortunately I heard his comment and came back to confront him - the little chickenshit was too afraid to repeat it in front of me.
His attitudes eventually got in the landlady's face one night, instead of feeling intimidated like the female flatmate the landlady told him to move out. By then no amount of brown-nosing could make her change her mind. The prick finally left.
An then there was much rejoicing!
(Sat 7th Apr 2007, 6:27, More)
had a bit of a leeching asshole flatmate once....
one the house rules were that you supply your own food, toilet paper and other consumables. He would frequently "borrow" other peoples toilet paper.
Even though told repeatedly not to - kept using the landlady's computer as a stereo when playing pool/snooker - always left the volume up loud so when anyone else uses the PC it blasts the fuck out of them.
He didn't clean up after himself - landlady and her daughter (a real hottie!) were always cleaning up after him.
After his pushbike got stolen - he kept using another flatmate's bike without permission. I think the other flatmate gave up and let him keep it when the bike started to break up a bit. (my pushbike was always stored with a bike chain around the wheel so it was unrideable when I wasn't using it)
On one occasion he got drunk with a friend - his friend left after some stupid argument. So he decides to borrow the landlady's 4WD Ute WHILE DRUNK! to find his mate to continue the conversation. - The landlady was not happy about that. And almost kicked him out but now regretted giving him yet another "second chance"
On xmas day I felt like taking my pushbike for a ride - only to discover the back wheel was missing! (my bike lock was only around the front wheel and frame). Later I discover my back wheel had made it's way to the asshole's bike???
Not only that - around the same time period I had purchased a new computer - I come home from a night shift a bit early to find the asshole and his friend trying to use it to burn a music CD (I hadn't even got around to setting it up!).
At this point it meant war, so the night I kicked him off the computer I downloaded a tool to prevent him from loading the OS of the computer without the right password. I found it quite effective that I offered the solution to the landlady and her daughter - they were practically begging me to apply it.
Not long after locking down the computers - he made a goof of himself by asking the landlady's daughter why there was this "password" thing on the computer - she replied screaming at him "TO STOP FUCKWITS LIKE YOU FROM USING IT WITHOUT PERMISSION!!!" - only then he realises the gravity of the situation and goes red in the face from embarrasment.
When I discovered the bike wheel missing on Xmas day - I spent Xmas day reclaiming my bike whell and proceeding to dissassemble his bike down to the last bolt to shove in a box in the deepest corner of the basement.
How he ended up leaving the place was after we got another tennant in (the other guy left because he got sick of the asshole) because our new tennant was female he kind of went on a bit of a power trip and tried to intimidate the new girl.
At one stage the new girl and I plotted a bit of revenge on him (to make her feel better from the intimidation) so we did things like mix his CD collection covers (stevie wonder switched with marilyn manson for example). Reversed the cabling on his stereo speakers and other petty things.
We struggled to find a really effective way of getting back at him until I made the discovery of his stash of energy/muscle building drink formulas - I made an evil grin and said one word: LAXATIVE!!!!!!
The idea was so awesome that even the landlady joined in, we bought some laxative pills, crushed them down a mixed them into the formulas. We were afaid he wouldn't take 'em because the formulas where bright white colour and the laxative particles were brown. Sure enough the plan worked - he didn't know who did it even though we were all involved. We could tell he was suspecting me because of the revenge of the bike wheel and Computer lock.
He was too afraid to confront me, which I found amusing because the weedy little shrimp believed he was going to be the next big "soccer superstar" - some day after the bike incident after bribing his friend $20 to reassemble his bike he commented at me in passing for trashing his bike. I simply replied "shouldn't have done it in the first place!" - as hew was walking away he tried to act macho in front of his mate out of earshot. Unfortunately I heard his comment and came back to confront him - the little chickenshit was too afraid to repeat it in front of me.
His attitudes eventually got in the landlady's face one night, instead of feeling intimidated like the female flatmate the landlady told him to move out. By then no amount of brown-nosing could make her change her mind. The prick finally left.
An then there was much rejoicing!
(Sat 7th Apr 2007, 6:27, More)
» Well, that taught 'em
upstaging some rev-heads
In my part of the world (Canberra, Australia) there is an annual event called "Summernats" where every yobbo, rev-head, street-racer, etc.. attends.
I managed to endure about 5 or 6 of these events as the pizza guy, delivering mostly to the hotels where all the crazy wankers were staying.
This one time while at the traffic lights some yobbos pulled up in their V8 monster, they gave it a few revs and one guy leaned out saying "Sounds good doesn't it?" in a proud voice.
I gave a cheeky look at thier car and replied "I suppose - but can it do THIS???" To which I applied my favourite party tick the my car could do.
Basically by anchoring the handbrake, put into 1st gear and played with the clutch & accelerator in a way to make my car 'bounce' (Subaru Fiori's have no rear hydraulic suspension - just very flexible springs!). I pretty much looked like I had a 'lowrider hatchback'
But what made it more classic was that instead of laughing at me, they all went "awesome how'd ya do that?". Next thing the idiots are trying it in a hardend, hydraulic & performance tuned V8 which pathetically lunges forward instead of bouncing just narrowly stopping before the car in front at the lights! (c'mon guys... try it again dammit - just travel a few more centimetres to lose your insurance!)
(Thu 26th Apr 2007, 23:50, More)
upstaging some rev-heads
In my part of the world (Canberra, Australia) there is an annual event called "Summernats" where every yobbo, rev-head, street-racer, etc.. attends.
I managed to endure about 5 or 6 of these events as the pizza guy, delivering mostly to the hotels where all the crazy wankers were staying.
This one time while at the traffic lights some yobbos pulled up in their V8 monster, they gave it a few revs and one guy leaned out saying "Sounds good doesn't it?" in a proud voice.
I gave a cheeky look at thier car and replied "I suppose - but can it do THIS???" To which I applied my favourite party tick the my car could do.
Basically by anchoring the handbrake, put into 1st gear and played with the clutch & accelerator in a way to make my car 'bounce' (Subaru Fiori's have no rear hydraulic suspension - just very flexible springs!). I pretty much looked like I had a 'lowrider hatchback'
But what made it more classic was that instead of laughing at me, they all went "awesome how'd ya do that?". Next thing the idiots are trying it in a hardend, hydraulic & performance tuned V8 which pathetically lunges forward instead of bouncing just narrowly stopping before the car in front at the lights! (c'mon guys... try it again dammit - just travel a few more centimetres to lose your insurance!)
(Thu 26th Apr 2007, 23:50, More)
» Best Graffiti Ever
I have a growing grafitti photo collection
It started during my days of pizza delivery when I saw a lot of things on the road. I'm been meaning to get around to putting the collection online for ages so for now I've just put a few up.
Featuring mostly stencil art - if I found anything that was interesting or unusual I just had to add it to the collection.
[Clicky the Pic for the gallery!] (some pics might be borderline NSFW but hey this stuff you see in public anyway!)
I'll eventually get the rest up at a later time.
(Fri 4th May 2007, 23:55, More)
I have a growing grafitti photo collection
It started during my days of pizza delivery when I saw a lot of things on the road. I'm been meaning to get around to putting the collection online for ages so for now I've just put a few up.
Featuring mostly stencil art - if I found anything that was interesting or unusual I just had to add it to the collection.
[Clicky the Pic for the gallery!] (some pics might be borderline NSFW but hey this stuff you see in public anyway!)
I'll eventually get the rest up at a later time.
(Fri 4th May 2007, 23:55, More)
» Where is the strangest place you have slept?
I once slept on a home made tower approx 2-3 stories high...
was part of a fundraiser for my local scout group. the tower was made of logs tied together by ourselves with a couple of floorboards as a level platform to pitch a tent! (we cooked/slept/lived on that tower for a weekend!)
It was amusing that one of the other volunteer campers was afraid of heights... the slightest move shook the tower and made him paranoid...
(Fri 29th Dec 2006, 16:00, More)
I once slept on a home made tower approx 2-3 stories high...
was part of a fundraiser for my local scout group. the tower was made of logs tied together by ourselves with a couple of floorboards as a level platform to pitch a tent! (we cooked/slept/lived on that tower for a weekend!)
It was amusing that one of the other volunteer campers was afraid of heights... the slightest move shook the tower and made him paranoid...
(Fri 29th Dec 2006, 16:00, More)
» When were you last really scared?
living in a small country town
means you have to commute to the nearest city for entertainment. So the nearest cinemas are a good half-hour drive at an average 110km/hr to get there.
One night my mates and I were driving home late. The driver and front passenger thought it would be a cool dare to try to drive just with parking lights (not the headlights) so that all we could see was the white lines of the roadside a few metres in front of us.
Although there was no traffic at all. I was starting to get concerned about this (after all kangaroos don't have headlights so they are difficult to see and avoid) and I knew we were approaching a turn ahead.
What made things worse is that the electrics in the old Corona played up a little and blacked out for a moment long enough for us to lose track of the road. The driver did his best to correct the car's direction but got us into a fishtailing motion sliding all over the road. Everyone's asses were sliding about on the vinyl seat of the old Corona we were driving.
We slid off the road and came to a thud just narrowly clipping a tree. after the dust settled we checked our vital parts and a quick assesment of the car - as far as we could see everything appeared fine.
We all agreed that leaving the headlights on was a good idea for the rest of the trip. Upon later inspection under a street light once we got to town showed half solid chrome bumper on the rear had been half twisted off from clipping the tree. Any closer and we might not have lived!
Hey Kids! - NEVER try this at home! It is really stupid!
(Fri 23rd Feb 2007, 13:23, More)
living in a small country town
means you have to commute to the nearest city for entertainment. So the nearest cinemas are a good half-hour drive at an average 110km/hr to get there.
One night my mates and I were driving home late. The driver and front passenger thought it would be a cool dare to try to drive just with parking lights (not the headlights) so that all we could see was the white lines of the roadside a few metres in front of us.
Although there was no traffic at all. I was starting to get concerned about this (after all kangaroos don't have headlights so they are difficult to see and avoid) and I knew we were approaching a turn ahead.
What made things worse is that the electrics in the old Corona played up a little and blacked out for a moment long enough for us to lose track of the road. The driver did his best to correct the car's direction but got us into a fishtailing motion sliding all over the road. Everyone's asses were sliding about on the vinyl seat of the old Corona we were driving.
We slid off the road and came to a thud just narrowly clipping a tree. after the dust settled we checked our vital parts and a quick assesment of the car - as far as we could see everything appeared fine.
We all agreed that leaving the headlights on was a good idea for the rest of the trip. Upon later inspection under a street light once we got to town showed half solid chrome bumper on the rear had been half twisted off from clipping the tree. Any closer and we might not have lived!
Hey Kids! - NEVER try this at home! It is really stupid!
(Fri 23rd Feb 2007, 13:23, More)