Profile for THJahar:
I was an over paid geek at a large ecommerce site that was turning over 3 million pounds a day.
I've since quit because my bosses were arseholes and decided to take a few months off, whilst realising i've thrown away 45 grand a year which no one will ever pay me again for the work I do. oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.
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- a member for 17 years, 4 months and 9 days
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I was an over paid geek at a large ecommerce site that was turning over 3 million pounds a day.
I've since quit because my bosses were arseholes and decided to take a few months off, whilst realising i've thrown away 45 grand a year which no one will ever pay me again for the work I do. oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.
Recent front page messages:
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Best answers to questions:
» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)
What's that smell?
13 years old at a typical victorian grammar school.
Our form room was at the top of the building and had an oh so inviting hatch into the roof space.
Cue a bunch of us climbing up into the roof space during lunch hour.
Happily we discovered that the roof space extended past our form room and over the sixth formers common room.
And there staring at us was a ventilation grill in the ceiling.
We decided to be real rebels and stay up there all through lunch hour and double history (The teacher was a bit on the senile side and didn't notice a fifth of his class was absent.)
By this time one of us had decided that his bladder was full, and had the bright idea of poking his penis through the grill and urinating all over the now empty sixth formers common room.
Which the rest of us quickly copied.
When the break bell rang we quickly scrambled down and stood outside the common room laughing ourselves silly at the sixth formers saying 'what's that smell? and why is this all wet (and sticking their fingers into the couch and smelling them)
(Tue 24th Jul 2007, 14:53, More)
What's that smell?
13 years old at a typical victorian grammar school.
Our form room was at the top of the building and had an oh so inviting hatch into the roof space.
Cue a bunch of us climbing up into the roof space during lunch hour.
Happily we discovered that the roof space extended past our form room and over the sixth formers common room.
And there staring at us was a ventilation grill in the ceiling.
We decided to be real rebels and stay up there all through lunch hour and double history (The teacher was a bit on the senile side and didn't notice a fifth of his class was absent.)
By this time one of us had decided that his bladder was full, and had the bright idea of poking his penis through the grill and urinating all over the now empty sixth formers common room.
Which the rest of us quickly copied.
When the break bell rang we quickly scrambled down and stood outside the common room laughing ourselves silly at the sixth formers saying 'what's that smell? and why is this all wet (and sticking their fingers into the couch and smelling them)
(Tue 24th Jul 2007, 14:53, More)
» Dumb things you've done
Grifters and Choppers
me being a young lad in the eighties, you Either owned a Raleigh Chopper or a Raleigh Grifter, and you could only ride with lads on the same type of bike.
Now as everyone in the UK rembers, the Chopper was a light bike with a small front wheel, whilst the Grifter weighed a ton, and looked like an industrial russian version of a bmx bike with a padded handlebar.
Now the Chopper lads were taking the piss and showing off that they could pully wheelies very easily on their choppers, whilst of course us grifter lads need the strength of hercules just to get the thing going.
So me being the ever optimist decided that i could pull a wheelie and go up the kerb infront of my friends house which for some reason was ridiculously high (about 1 foot)
Hence me failing spectacularly and heading chin first over the handlebars.
Unfortunately after the curb there was a narrow path and after the path there was a small 2 foot wall.....topped with decorative railings. You know the ones, sprayed with hammerite and nice arrowhead spikes on top.
Which promptly decided to pierce through the base of my chin and appear between my teeth and my lip.
Moral: Never pull wheelies on a Grifter, always pull your chopper instead...wait...erm
(Mon 24th Dec 2007, 13:05, More)
Grifters and Choppers
me being a young lad in the eighties, you Either owned a Raleigh Chopper or a Raleigh Grifter, and you could only ride with lads on the same type of bike.
Now as everyone in the UK rembers, the Chopper was a light bike with a small front wheel, whilst the Grifter weighed a ton, and looked like an industrial russian version of a bmx bike with a padded handlebar.
Now the Chopper lads were taking the piss and showing off that they could pully wheelies very easily on their choppers, whilst of course us grifter lads need the strength of hercules just to get the thing going.
So me being the ever optimist decided that i could pull a wheelie and go up the kerb infront of my friends house which for some reason was ridiculously high (about 1 foot)
Hence me failing spectacularly and heading chin first over the handlebars.
Unfortunately after the curb there was a narrow path and after the path there was a small 2 foot wall.....topped with decorative railings. You know the ones, sprayed with hammerite and nice arrowhead spikes on top.
Which promptly decided to pierce through the base of my chin and appear between my teeth and my lip.
Moral: Never pull wheelies on a Grifter, always pull your chopper instead...wait...erm
(Mon 24th Dec 2007, 13:05, More)
» My first experience of porn
It's the third one down....
I too was the recipient of the "porn found in the woods" Fairy (like the Tooth Fairy but appears when you first get fuzz on your nuts)
This being the Eighties and the mags being Playboys, the minge area in the photos was typically hirsute.
This allowed my best mate to tell me with absolute certainty that amongst all that hair was four holes.
The first one was where the girl weed from, the second was where babies came out of.
The third was where you put your willy in, and the fourth was where poo came out.
I of course believed him (he believed it too).
Hence when the local slut allowed me to finger her (at the age of 12 behind the local scout hut)
I proceed to take my two used fingers
around my 3 friends who were with me, asking them to smell them, just to make sure i'd got the right hole.
They all agreed it smelt so bad that I had must have got it wrong.
(Mon 29th Jan 2007, 0:18, More)
It's the third one down....
I too was the recipient of the "porn found in the woods" Fairy (like the Tooth Fairy but appears when you first get fuzz on your nuts)
This being the Eighties and the mags being Playboys, the minge area in the photos was typically hirsute.
This allowed my best mate to tell me with absolute certainty that amongst all that hair was four holes.
The first one was where the girl weed from, the second was where babies came out of.
The third was where you put your willy in, and the fourth was where poo came out.
I of course believed him (he believed it too).
Hence when the local slut allowed me to finger her (at the age of 12 behind the local scout hut)
I proceed to take my two used fingers
around my 3 friends who were with me, asking them to smell them, just to make sure i'd got the right hole.
They all agreed it smelt so bad that I had must have got it wrong.
(Mon 29th Jan 2007, 0:18, More)
» Why I was late
Schools believe the weirdest things..
Well after me and a few mates decided to see how many of us 13 years olds we could squeeze into a phonebox (9 of us..who then promptly all fell on me hence a 2 weeks stay in hospital in traction)
I could use the "I've been at the physio therapist" excuse whenever the teachers asked me where I'd been.(playing pac man in the local cafe with the other waggers)..which quickly backfired when one teacher tired of the excuse and asked me what I had therapy on...for which I stumblingly replied "My bum muscle" They never believed me after that?!?
Length? Gusset splittingly large, ok average then..sigh...tiny...oh god i'm so alone.
(Wed 4th Jul 2007, 16:15, More)
Schools believe the weirdest things..
Well after me and a few mates decided to see how many of us 13 years olds we could squeeze into a phonebox (9 of us..who then promptly all fell on me hence a 2 weeks stay in hospital in traction)
I could use the "I've been at the physio therapist" excuse whenever the teachers asked me where I'd been.(playing pac man in the local cafe with the other waggers)..which quickly backfired when one teacher tired of the excuse and asked me what I had therapy on...for which I stumblingly replied "My bum muscle" They never believed me after that?!?
Length? Gusset splittingly large, ok average then..sigh...tiny...oh god i'm so alone.
(Wed 4th Jul 2007, 16:15, More)