» Bastard Colleagues

On that...
On what? I don't know and that fucktard doesn't know what it means either but that's how he finishes most of his sentences on the phone. And how can he get english so wrong? He's been speaking it for 30 something years.
Angry customer- 'Shooting Bricks'
My new haircut- 'Very Soiree'
His wifes drinking capacity- 'Light heart'
His leg hurts- 'Extortionate pain'
How is he in charge of me?
(Tue 29th Jan 2008, 21:20, More)

» Well, that taught 'em

I'm a bit of a pansy...
so attracted bullies like flies around shit when I was at school.

This one guy in particular never left me alone, always tormenting me. One day, at school I lost one of my milk teeth and was fascinated by the red grissle lodged inside.
I was sat in a French lesson, poking around inside the tooth with a compass (pair of compasses, whatever) when I felt a sharp pain in my leg. The cnut had pulled a thorn from the bush outside the window and stabbed me. I ignored it the only way a victim can. A plan formed.
Again I felt him stab me, so using all my strength, plunged the compass needle into his thigh. The fact it'd been inside my tooth made it even more satisfying and he didn't bother me for the rest of the day. And then I got my sisters friends to beat him up. Fucksmudge deserved it.
(Sat 28th Apr 2007, 14:21, More)