» Too much information

Filming poo.
A friend of mine once filmed himself shitting. No, not his face but his anus.
Showed us all the next day, like.
(Fri 7th Sep 2007, 22:53, More)

» Crazy Relatives

Oh dear
My dad is a bit silly and sometimes acts like hes a little kid (hes 50).
He tries to act out adverts when they come on, for example, for the omega 3 advert where there's loads of different people saying it, he leans over and whispers in my ear, "omega 3".

He also farts ALOT.
Not only do they sound like either
a)A bomb has landed near by
or
b) a duck quacking
but they stink so bad...
That's not all, recently he has been walking into different rooms and farting there, then blaming it on my brother.
Sometimes he walks around the house with his belly out, then pretends he never did it.

As for my mother, well she's just a bit strange.
She got brought up a C of E and is now a nothing. But, she went through a phase of being a buddhist/spiritulist {sp?} whre not only did she go visting temples and took pictures, but went meditating on hills with a few of her friends.
Then she tried to make me into a Pagan (im a catholic, and my father's side are quite strict. they're italian.) by making me set up an 'altar' in my room to pray to the pagan gods/goddesses/whatever.
My father found out, went crazy.
It all went pear-shaped.

Then, through a dirty divorce (this was before the pagan stuff), my mum tried to kidnap me.

Oh the memories.
(Wed 11th Jul 2007, 12:01, More)

» The Soundtrack of your Life

Quite sad, really.
My grandma died when I was 11. I don't actually know what she died from but I think it was blood clots and the return of cancer.
Anyway, I had just started high school and we visited her after school each day when she was first admitted into hospital.

It was absolutely terrible. She had an oxygen mask, could hardly talk to you, so of course I was close to tears.

We got the call Saturday morning that she didn't have long left so me and my brothers and dad jumped in the car and began the 20minute drive. That Craig David and Sting song "Rise and Fall" came on the bloody radio. I'm telling you, no one spoke the whole journey.
(Fri 29th Jan 2010, 20:37, More)

» Family codes and rituals

Car game
Another game in the car is SPOT THE NEW NUMBER PLATE GAME. Something about how they change to 58 in the middle of the year. I don't know, I don't really pay attention. But, yeah. That's another crappy car game.

And, of course, FIRST ONE TO SPOT THE SEA! I think someone's mentioned this before. Or FIRST ONE TO SPOT THE BLACKPOOL TOWER!
Sad times.
(Wed 26th Nov 2008, 16:59, More)

» Terrible Parenting

Wah.
As ive mentioned before (not that anyone cares),
my mother tried kidnapping me when i was about 8. The day before we were in blackpool eating dinner when she stormed out causing a big search for her though she had taken me to an Ann Summers shop during the day (I had to sit on a massive shoe whilst she went into the over 18 section).

She had found out that we all wanted to live with our father (a decision i now regret) and decided to take me away. She was crying all over the place after interviewing us all and then grabbed my wrist announcing we were going out.
I didn't really know what to do but knew i definitely didnt want to go with this mad crying woman. I had no choice but to follow her reluctantly, crying myself.
When we got near to the car she told me that:
"We're going to your Grandma's, i'll pick your clothes up later."
I remember screaming but still getting into the car (i was 8, i seriously didnt know what to do).
The car journey was awful; my mother was crying whilst asking me why i wanted to live with my father over and over again. I thought we were going to crash into a lake or something - she scared me that much.
Anyway half way down to my grandma's my mother was all like "OH YOU WANNA GO TO YOUR DAD'S? I'LL TAKE YOU THERE THEN."
She did.
She took me to the friend's house where he was working on their computer and made me get out of the car, sodden with tears, and knock on the door myself and ask for him.
A teenage boy answered the door with a questioning look but still went and fetched him.
He came outside and they started arguing, my mother gritting her teeth saying "Get in the car Vicky."
I didnt and spent the rest of the day crying on my dad's knee as he fixed the guy's computer. He called for my brothers to come and their friend generously paid for the bus fare.

Sorry about the length :[ I've probably bored you to death.
I have more posts to come.
(Fri 17th Aug 2007, 17:07, More)