» * PFFT *

Car Air Fresheners
Used to work in a car dealership where the ability to pass noxious exhaust emmisions wasn't limited to vehicles. When driving customers cars round to the reception for them to collect, we would often drop a rasper on their leather seats & leave the air con on recirculation for maximum effect - particularly if said customer was a tosser ! However, the worst botty japes belonged to one of the technicians who, after nightime bouts on the lash, would come into the reception and uncork his genie whilst we were on the phones & unable to escape - I swear the blades on my desk fan slowed down as they tried to chop through the foul beastys. Not to be outdone, I once breakfasted on dried onion sandwiches & baked beans in order to brew a suitable response. By late morning I was painfully bloated & ready for action. Sticking my ass through the workshop door, I shouted 'heads up lads' & let loose an onion rumbler that fair shook the earth. However, it was a hollow victory as it literally burnt my sphincter as it came out. I had to hobble back gingerly to my chair trying not to follow through.
(Tue 17th Jul 2007, 12:17, More)