» My sex misconceptions

But how does it know?
Sometimes having sex explained badly can be worse than not having it explained at all.

One such portion of my sex education taught me that "...after becoming erect, the man places his penis inside the woman's vagina, where he will ejaculate...".

Now, this led me to believe that my penis was extremely intelligent: how will it *know* it's inside a vagina? How does it avoid ejaculating elsewhere by mistake?

So, naturally I started to experiment. I was sure I could fool it into thinking it was inside a lady's part and so I tried everything I could think of.

I made my hands into a dark tunnel shape and held my member inside. Nothing. Perhaps it needs to detect moisture, I thought. So cue me repeating the experiment in the shower - I held it for over a minute and nothing.

Not having had the pleasure of being in close proximity to a girl's flangepiece yet, I was running out of known vaginal properites to simulate. All I had to go on was moist, tunnel-shaped, warm and dark.

I tried holding it in all sorts of wet, heated objects (don't ask) for varying lengths of time and still I hadn't been able to fool it into ejaculation.

It wasn't until I inadvertently applied motion to a particularly persistent erection that I got a strange yet not unpleasant urge to do a sexwee. I'd done it! My member thought it was inside a girl but it was just my clammy boxers! Duh!

Needless to say, I've been 'fooling' it ever since - it still hasn't learned the difference.
(Sun 28th Sep 2008, 12:25, More)