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Just because you're on hold doesn't mean they can't hear you....
First post so shittyness may ensue.

I split up with my partner a few months ago. As I'm paying child maintenance and my pay is utter tosh I got into a bit more debt than I could handle so I began trawling the interwebs for loans for bad credit. I found YES loans (Don't, just don't!).

I posted my details online requesting a call from an advisor and waited patiently for a callback which took about 2 minutes.

I get the usual patter, 'We WILL find a loan to suit your borrowing need Mr Whatsmyageagain' and the usual tosh. Now after she repeated the same thing over and over and took a rather valuable 25 minutes of my time I was getting rather annoyed with Charlene (Whos accent kept switching from American to English in 0.2 seconds flat). She took a £50 charge for their service and put me on hold while I was connected to another colleague of hers. As I was alone and listening to Vivaldi I began talking to myself about how annoying her voice was and I hope I get to speak to someone with half a brain. 2 seconds later her voice clicked back on rather abruptly 'WON'T be 2 minutes now SIR.' and Vivaldi resumed. I put this down to coincidence rather than anything else and continued moshing merrily to YES Loans FM.

I then spoke to Charlene's colleague (Lucy if memory serves me correct) going through exactly the same details for this pissing loan. After 15 minutes of talking to her my patience was starting to wear a bit thing. She was transferring me to another colleague who would finalise the details of my loan. As I was put on hold and my mind was being plagued with more classical tosh I began talking to myself quite annoyed about how many more fucking retards I would have to finalise my details with before I talked to someone who knew their arse from their elbow...

'YOU SIR are an idiot! How DARE you refer to me as a retard. I refuse to help you based on the abuse that you have given me. This call was recorded and any further contact from you will be reported.' Then the line went dead.

Long story short, watch what you say when you're on hold!

And yes I realise talking to myself is the first sign of insanity...

Sorry for long post and lack of unfunnies. :)
(Fri 4th Sep 2009, 3:50, More)