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» British Slang Dictionary

Poofter -- Hear me out now.
When working in NY as a removals man, 'you fag' was a common slur. I convinced a fair few of my colleagues to use the British equivalent, as the etymology is much finer (Urban Dictionary) - "based on the permanant stretching of the anus that results from repeated anal sex, which causes farts to be emitted with a "pooft" sound rather than the usual, stacatto "bra-a-a-p".

I found out Merkins pronounce it 'Poof - Da'. A small section of NY removal men are still hopefully using this.

**The first time I asked someone in America if I could "bum a fag" I was regarded with very weird looks.**
(Fri 22nd Jan 2016, 19:42, More)

» Random Acts of Evil

Lights Out
Me and my buddy used to catch the same bus to and from school. On some nights during the Festive season, infused with a malice that only a day of hard learning can ferment, we would take our scissors and cut the fairy lights which adorned the more affluent/less shameful houses.
(Tue 21st Feb 2012, 16:03, More)

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Why did the amorous owl give up?
Too wet to woo
(Fri 29th Jun 2018, 22:57, More)

» Random Acts of Evil

Hot money
Not me, but rather my Pa in his youth - Apparently this works best if you are at school, due to ease of access to the necessary prep materials, and plenty of potential victims.

Heat up a coin in a Bunsen burner, taking care to hold with tongs. Depending on your level of malice wait until you have a white/red hot disc of near-molten metal, and deposit on the floor. Wait for a passer-by to be ‘branded’ by Her Maj.
(Tue 21st Feb 2012, 16:22, More)

» Money-saving tips

Friends and Thieves
**Points 1 + 2 applicable mainly for students**

1. Make friends with the Student’s Union security staff. I lived with one of the Heads of Security, resulting in free entry to every night he was working – ushered in like some sort of campus VIP. Also try to find a friend on the bar, as they can help subsidise your drinks.

2. Don’t ever buy books. Go to the library, find what you need, and take it to quiet corner. In all books there should be a magnetic security strip (usually front or back page). Just peel this mother off, pop the book in your bag, and stroll out. You can build up quite a collection in this way, and you are only doing yourself a favour by making it more difficult for other students to attain your level of knowledge.

3. Take up smoking pot instead of drinking. You will struggle to get through much more than £20 before falling asleep. Also, it breeds laziness and apathy, so you will be more content with a night in entertaining yourself than spunking money up the wall on drinks in the local. If you do motivate yourself to go out, just a few drinks and you will be wasted.
(Tue 15th Nov 2011, 12:54, More)
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