(Thu 16th Jun 2011, 17:23, More)

» Good Advice

Whenever life gets you down...
Wank it off. (As opposed to 'Walk it off') - IT WORKS.
(Sat 22nd May 2010, 4:46, More)

» The B3ta Cookbook

Poor Man's Nachos
Now granted, this recipe should only be made and consumed when you've been imbibing large quantities of alcohol.

INGREDIENTS!

Doritos®! (Let's say 4 packets, 2 cool ranch, 2 regular cheese).
Cheese! Grated. I like your basic cheddar, but whatever you like.
Beans! 1 can should do it.
Tomato Sauce! (The stuff you use with pasta - not ketchup!)
Mayo!

Get a microwavable or oven proof plate or bowl and begin layering the 'ingredients'.
I usually do Doritos® first, then beans, sauce, a little mayo and finally a liberal sprinkling of grated cheese. Don't overdo the beans and sauce because you don't want a big fucking soggy mess.

Repeat the layering process until you've ran out of Doritos®, microwave or bake (for some reason microwaving makes it taste better).
Finally consume and then curl into a corner and feel fat & guilty.
(Fri 29th Jun 2012, 13:17, More)

» Expensive Weekends

Leaving Las Vegas
Me and the missus were attending my sister-in-law's surprisingly tasteful wedding in Las Vegas. We lost a fair bit of cash on the tables, as you do, but that wasn't the real financial killer of the weekend.
On our last night staying at the Mirage hotel I went to bed early (for those of you who haven't been to Vegas, they ply those who gamble at the tables with free drinks all night and I had my fair share so I decided to call it a night).

My wife however had other plans. Not only did she lose a shitload of cash on the roulette wheel, she then preceded to get rat-arsed and so subsequently she forgot which room she was in. Instead of doing the sensible,sober thing and show some I.D to the staff and ask for her room number she instead purchased a new room for the kingly sum of $400.

Unfortunately the financial mishaps don't end there. Needless to say I was pissed off when I found out in the morning, but hey it's Vegas. I was prepared to lose some money. After we checked out we decided to drive to the Nevada desert for shits n' giggles. It was pretty cool, I must say. Nothing around for miles and miles. It was then that all the booze I drank the night before wanted to say hello to me again. I crouched behind a cactus to take a shit and my wallet must have dropped out of my back pocket as I did my jeans up.

Didn't realize it was gone until we were at the airport. Had to drive all the way back to the friggin' desert to find it again and we missed our arsing flight.

Of course the wife blamed me for everything :D
(Thu 13th May 2010, 19:43, More)

» Books

Need help!
I remember reading this one novel back around 1998 and I was wondering if anyone out there might be able to help me figure out who wrote it and what it was called.

What I thinly remember of the plot:

It was set in a mental hospital and was written in the first person by a guy in a wheelchair who couldn't communicate with the other patients or staff. I think he may have been a deaf blind mute but I'm not sure. I seem to remember staff members abusing him etc and it was a really powerful, tragic and often funny book. I think about it a lot but I can't for the life of me remember the title or author. It was a pretty short book (couple of hundred pages or so). Dark, twisted sexual favors for anyone who can help.

As for my favorite book, it has to be the Dark Tower fantasy series by Stephen King. If you get past the first book (which goes pretty slowly) then you're in for a treat. Really amazing stuff.
(Fri 6th Jan 2012, 21:18, More)