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» Devastating Put-Downs
Old RAF Appraisal quotes
A few years back, a selection of amusing quotes allegedly written on finalised RAF appraisals (character assassinations) was doing the rounds.
One of my favourites is - "His laziness and low standards of work have alienated the majority of his work mates to such an extent that being on shift with him is seen as a punishment".
I'll bang them in the replies as there is quite a few of them.
*pop*
Oh, apologies if someone has already posted these
(Sun 27th Nov 2011, 19:51, More)
Old RAF Appraisal quotes
A few years back, a selection of amusing quotes allegedly written on finalised RAF appraisals (character assassinations) was doing the rounds.
One of my favourites is - "His laziness and low standards of work have alienated the majority of his work mates to such an extent that being on shift with him is seen as a punishment".
I'll bang them in the replies as there is quite a few of them.
*pop*
Oh, apologies if someone has already posted these
(Sun 27th Nov 2011, 19:51, More)
» Conspiracy Theories
A vision in leopard print...
Whilst out in Liverpool a couple of weeks ago, we decided to start the night in a small town centre pub(The Beehive if anyone knows or cares) before heading out and getting right on it.
We had been there for maybe an hour, laughing, chatting and drinking when we saw her. Small, straggly medium length hair, scrunched up wrinkly old face that only God himself could put an age to and dressed from head to toe in leopard print clothing. And she was eyeing us up.
Not eyeing us up in THAT way, eyeing us up in the way that says 'I have something to say, and I'm saying it to you whether you like it or not' so it was no surprise when she bowled over and struck up a conversation. Nothing too bad, a bit of small talk - everyone seemed happy and very slightly relieved.
And then the conspiracy theories started and from that point on she was unstoppable. This woman was on a roll with topics ranging from Tony Blair's secret test tube baby (who she had been trying to phone for the last 3 years) to Yoko Ono being allied with the government to assassinate John Lennon. There was no subject that she didn't have a wacky theory about and then came the money shot (so to speak). She dropped her voice to a whisper, glanced consiprationally over her shoulder and then turned to us and said -
'The British Government had been trying to kill Princess Diana for years by making her walk through minefields holding AIDS babies'
The next few moments were a blur as we were laughing so hard and she was politely asked to leave by the bar staff.
As to whether I believe it or not, I don't care - it was fucking brilliant
(Fri 2nd Dec 2011, 17:17, More)
A vision in leopard print...
Whilst out in Liverpool a couple of weeks ago, we decided to start the night in a small town centre pub(The Beehive if anyone knows or cares) before heading out and getting right on it.
We had been there for maybe an hour, laughing, chatting and drinking when we saw her. Small, straggly medium length hair, scrunched up wrinkly old face that only God himself could put an age to and dressed from head to toe in leopard print clothing. And she was eyeing us up.
Not eyeing us up in THAT way, eyeing us up in the way that says 'I have something to say, and I'm saying it to you whether you like it or not' so it was no surprise when she bowled over and struck up a conversation. Nothing too bad, a bit of small talk - everyone seemed happy and very slightly relieved.
And then the conspiracy theories started and from that point on she was unstoppable. This woman was on a roll with topics ranging from Tony Blair's secret test tube baby (who she had been trying to phone for the last 3 years) to Yoko Ono being allied with the government to assassinate John Lennon. There was no subject that she didn't have a wacky theory about and then came the money shot (so to speak). She dropped her voice to a whisper, glanced consiprationally over her shoulder and then turned to us and said -
'The British Government had been trying to kill Princess Diana for years by making her walk through minefields holding AIDS babies'
The next few moments were a blur as we were laughing so hard and she was politely asked to leave by the bar staff.
As to whether I believe it or not, I don't care - it was fucking brilliant
(Fri 2nd Dec 2011, 17:17, More)