b3ta.com user Reginald Donkeyfuck
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» Acting out your fantasies

I ent never had no truck with fantasies
but then I got talking to some cunts over on off the topics and they seemed like an alrite lot, bit cliquey mind, and they kept going on about these bayshes they'd have. Now I'm not the kind of cunt that ent been to a party before but you should've heard these cunts bang on about their exploits in the smoke! Fucken bonanza man! yer talking ballon hats and stolen drugs and hoover snouts. This one guy found some drugs in a toilet stall or he stole them from stunned poster, i forget which, and these cunts just gave him the high hat from there on in. So y'know, theres a lot at stake amongts the fun and japes and ballon hats. Ooh, I forgot the etchy-sketches with the cocks! So anyway, I decide I want to get in on the act (so this is my fantasy that the question for the week is asking) and arrange to meet up with some baytans (ive been away a while so i forget the names but i trhink there was some becky fella, 'Bill Clay', rosey-someone and Mince with the hoover snout) for a baysh at some place in Shoreditch after meeting up for a dirty burger with another baytan. No one turned up and i ended up in Woodford and i donno how and the fucken trains werent running . Fucken cliquey cunts the lot of them
(Fri 14th Feb 2014, 11:23, More)

» Things I've gone off

I used to be a bit of a gun nut
So much so that, when I lived out in L.A., I got a job in a gun shop. It specialized in sawn-off shotguns, except for a cleaner cut the proprietor used a thin curved blade to finish the process once the outer layer had been sawn through. Now, we'd sell these guns to all sorts: young, old, even the odd celebrity. The day David Hasselhoff came in to collect an order was the day that changed my opinion of guns forever.

He strode to the counter, all glistening chest hair and denim, and I presented him with his purchase: "Here's your thin-scythed gun, Hoff"

fuck off
(Thu 15th Aug 2013, 12:42, More)

» Black sheep of the family II

My funny uncle
I shoula known at my sixth birthday baysh that my uncle joe was a fucken wrong un when he put down his chinzano and asked te assembled kiddies if they wanted to see an elephant. Y;know the one with the inside out pockets? what a fucken prick. That ent the worst of it. This fucken joker got himself a job as a security guard at bejams or summat and used to regale us of hilarious tales when some old biddy'd ask him where the mince was and he'd point them in the direction of the fucken trebors! Every fucken year on boxing day when familial obligations and sherry fuelled memory loss kicked in and the cunt got invited to dinner again it was the same fucken story "HAHA IT WERE BEEF MINCE SHE WANTED BUT I SHOWED HER MINTS!" He didn't get his cock out so much tho, small mercys etc etc
(Fri 28th Feb 2014, 10:21, More)

» Bad Dates

i thought it were a mini sausage :(

(Thu 17th Oct 2013, 16:33, More)

» Ask B3ta

Who am I?

(Tue 4th Jun 2013, 16:13, More)
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