b3ta.com user P-MONKE
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» Conspiracy Theories

Richard Dawkins is a secret Christian
There is a hidden message in his book "The God Delusion". By quoting carefully selected words out of context in the correct order, he can demonstrably seen to be saying things like:
"I... believe... in... God";
"I... love... Jesus";
"I... want... to... go... to... Heaven";
"Give... me... more... of... that... communion wine".

It's all there in black and white.
(Fri 2nd Dec 2011, 9:37, More)

» Random Acts of Kindness

My Forest Gate
I'm not sure if this is exactly the sort of "kindness" that Crackhouseceilidhband had in mind when suggesting the challenge, but here goes:
It was the early nineties and I was an undergraduate in East London, living in Forest Gate. As with all students, I was just about broke for three to four days a week, until I got my weekly pay packet from the Student Union bar.
So one day I was down to my last tenner and feeling glum about it, when I got a call from my younger brother who declared that, as he'd just got an insurance pay-out for being involved in a car crash, he was coming up to see me so we could go out and party. Yippee! Now, my brother, who was (sensibly) travelling by train, didn't know how to find my digs so I decided to meet him at Waterloo. I headed off to the my local British Rail station, precious cash in pocket ready to buy my travel card. As I went in to the lobby, I passed a group of about half a dozen "youths", but thought nothing of it. There was no manned ticket booth at Forest Gate that day so I stepped up to the automated ticket machine, tenner in hand, ready to buy my billet.
"Give me all your money."
WTF? I spun round to see one of the lads that I'd seen outside the station seconds ago.
"Give me all your money, or we'll beat you up."
By this point I was shitting bricks, particularly as I'd witnessed someone getting robbed at knife point just a few days earlier at another station. By this time, however, my brother was well on his way to Waterloo to meet me so I had to try something.
"I've only got a tenner and I have to get to a travel card to meet my brother", I blurted out in desperation. This was followed by a couple of seconds of thoughtful concentration on the face of my mugger, who then replied: "Buy your ticket and give me all your change."
I had no concept of game theory at that poit in my life, but my brain was screaming to me to accept his offer as a vast improvement over the predicament that I'd been in only seconds before.
"OK".

So I got to meet my brother at Waterloo and the gang of muggers got their £6.80.

I suppose it was kindness of a sort.
(Sun 12th Feb 2012, 13:21, More)

» Conspiracy Theories

Socks. Washing machines.
Need I elaborate?
(Fri 2nd Dec 2011, 11:26, More)

» Twattery

The fucking idiots who stand in doorways

(Mon 16th Apr 2012, 21:05, More)

» Heroes and villains of 2011

My Freeview PVR is my hero
Thanks to this wonderful device I've not seen even one Christmas advert on telly this year, nor have I shelled out any money to Sky or Virgin for the privilege.
(Sun 1st Jan 2012, 12:14, More)
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