» Real Life Slapstick II

The Picnic Bench and the German Holidaymakers
When we were on holiday, my wife and I decided to go for a late lunch at MacGochan's, the pub/restaurant next to the main car park in Tobermory. We sat at one of the picnic benches outside, at the front of the restaurant.

Next to our bench was another such bench, at which a couple of German tourists sat down shortly after our arrival. They were - how shall I put this? - a little on the large side. They were also sitting next to each other on one side of their bench.

This would have been fine if the bench had been screwed into the paving slabs, but it became apparent about 30 seconds later that it wasn't.

The bench flew backwards, catapulting them along with it, as though someone had pressed an ejector button. The third member of their party arrived soon after, with drinks for them all, and was puzzled to see them looking annoyed and embarrassed, and brushing themselves off.

Laugh? I had to hold it in until we got in the car and drove back to the hotel. And then I shat myself.
(Tue 7th Oct 2014, 15:29, More)

» False Economies

Maplin own brand headphones
I had a pair of those sports headphones by JVC. Last week, they packed up after two years of everyday use. I went to Maplin and looked for similar headphones. The cheapest branded pair was about 30 quid, but they had their own brand for eight quid.

"They're only for running," I thought, as I took the eight quid pair to the till and paid the man.

Getting them to wrap snugly around my ears was as difficult as keeping Savile away from a children's ward. In the process, I nearly snapped the plastic prong that goes behind the ear. So now, I have a pair of shit headphones and I need to spend even more on a decent pair.

Never give own brands a chance...
(Wed 25th Jun 2014, 17:24, More)