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# I can't believe I've just posted this. I'm sorry.
You've now got me thinking
About things that are obscene -
So I've written a short poem
About 'Flicking the Bean'

I know it is quite filthy
But my mind is full of dirt
I like to crack one off each day
And I flick it till I hurt.

If I need to have a wank
And usually I do
I'd go into the bathroom
To produce my fishy goo

I find it helps to think those thoughts
That can be described as rude
My mind ends up thinking of
Johnny Depp in the nude.

When concentrating on such things
It doesn't take that long
I rub myself from side to side
And cream loads in my thong.

I have to say I do prefer
Someone else's touch
But if my boyfriend's not around
Then I'm glad to flick my crutch.

I'm sure it is quite natural
To masturbate these days
But just make sure you file your nails
Or you could get quite a graze.

I can't believe how rude I've been
My cheeks are blushing russet
Oh, what the hell, I do have fun
Fiddling with my gusset.

Now lunchtime's over so I must
Really do some work
I hope my boss does not see this
Or I'll feel like such a jerk.
(Nacho, Tue 26 Feb 2002, 7:26, archived)
# poems about girls masturbating
are COOL.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Tue 26 Feb 2002, 7:49, archived)
# Just one reply?
Oh, now I'm scared
And feeling rather blue.
I'm not like that -
T'was just a poem,
All totally untrue.
(Nacho, Tue 26 Feb 2002, 7:51, archived)
# That's such a lovely poem,
And nacho I'd like to thank,
For giving me a laugh,
And now I'm off to have a wank
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Tue 26 Feb 2002, 7:57, archived)
# I can't believe you said that, Joel
I'm really rather flattered.
That sounds like such a good idea,
So I'm off to make my knickers splattered.
(Nacho, Tue 26 Feb 2002, 8:08, archived)
# i got no replies, think yourself lucky
i wrote a poem with comedic purpose
so people could giggle while busy with job
but no-one replied, so now i feel awful
i think i'll relax and play with my knob
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Tue 26 Feb 2002, 8:00, archived)
# I have to admit that
i hadn't actually read it, but i have now and its brill. So, heres your Woo:

Woo!

:)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 26 Feb 2002, 8:06, archived)
# Thank you, Mike
Your words are kind.
My posts are dirt
You'll often find.
(Nacho, Tue 26 Feb 2002, 8:11, archived)
# It always takes me ages to find the
reply button
(I helped save b3ta! MartinH, Tue 26 Feb 2002, 8:05, archived)
# Sorry Nacho
Please don't think i'm ignoring
your dirty limerick.
I was in a meeting and didn't see
your post about having a flick.
But now i'm back and all that matters.
Is that I loved your tale of fanny batter.
So with a smile and a cheeky wink,
I'm off for a sneaky tissue think.
(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Tue 26 Feb 2002, 8:08, archived)
# the expression
"tissue think" is definitely going to be used in more of my conversations.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Tue 26 Feb 2002, 8:16, archived)
# you should publish that...
now, who's going to be the first to animate it?
my money's on crab bloke
(I helped save b3ta! rockyrobin, Tue 26 Feb 2002, 8:29, archived)
# This
should be printed out on cumpaper... :-D
(I helped save b3ta! Kaiser, Tue 26 Feb 2002, 8:26, archived)
# I can't believe you wrote that
dirty poems travel fast over he interweb... I may be in Australia now, but I am still not far away enough to escape this stuff! See you when I get back Nacho!
(MattyA, Tue 26 Feb 2002, 21:03, archived)