where when you multiply a negative number by a negative number you don't get a positive number,YOU GET A BIGGER NEGATIVE NUMBER BABY, it's a world where Natalie Portman stalks me. And she's still 14. But it's okay, coz it's my world
(
Prof UnderCover evitable,
Fri 18 Feb 2005, 14:28,
archived)
When I fly, it's first classand they only serve vegetarian food. The guy next to me's pissed, he wanted the chicken. 'erm - do you think you could look in the back, you know, just see if someone didn't get their chicken' 'I'm sorry sir, you have to order your meat meal 3 days before the flight...'
( Prof UnderCover evitable,
Fri 18 Feb 2005, 14:37,
archived)
I found God in the card section of the library, other people had looked, but thanks to Dewey DecimalI found him, feasting on himself just to stay alive. You'd think finding God would get you free entry into Hellven, but no - I have to fool myself there just like everybody else. 'Do I at least get 3 wishes?' I asked. 'Sorry,' He said, 'I'm not that kind of God'
( Prof UnderCover evitable,
Fri 18 Feb 2005, 14:43,
archived)
He did tell me I'm a concave man. Do you know what that means?it means I have an inie instead of an outie, and my belly button is full of little concave men who hunt the dinosaurs of my waist and draw paintings on the walls. One of them died. That's what I mean when I say I hear voices - I'm haunted, down there!
( Prof UnderCover evitable,
Fri 18 Feb 2005, 14:48,
archived)