My favourite is "Daddy isn't coming hme tonight, because you don't love him enough"
I feel bad when I say it, but the look of relief on his face when I walk through the door every evening....well, it makes it all worthwhile.
( Sheriff John Bunnell (Hi, I'm), Wed 23 Jan 2013, 13:57, Reply)

I flicked through a book in a charity shop once, called "Lies to tell children"
(or something like that.)
My favourite was "Wine makes mummy clever".
( Moon Girl Technologies don't take my word for anything, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 14:00, Reply)

Lies to Tell Small Kids
By Andy Riley of Bunny Suicides fame. Excellent book, my favourite is "your grandmother is a cold war sleeper agent, who is programmed to destroy all humans. her code word is badmington."
(DonMorte use your nonce-sense, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:47, Reply)

Ouch!
Father Christmas. Two precious months in every year of good behaviour.
( barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 14:02, Reply)

But what if the day comes where, god forbid, you don't come home....
That would be a tad harsh
( Fadgebadger /links's pedantic bellend, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 17:28, Reply)