Hose down
My last job involved working as a carer for teenagers (aged about 14-17), there was a fairly high turnover of staff and kids, as either the kids moved on or the staff had enough and quit. Or if like me they just got fed up of having to give the kids a "normal life" and yet had to cook every meal from scratch rather than just buy a frozen pizza!

Anyway, about 2 months before I quit, a new kid arrives. He was a smearer and a storer, which means he didn't flush, but kept all his shit and piss in jars for us to find, when he wasn't smearing the shit all over the walls. Admittedly he had deep seated mental issues which caused him to do it, but you never had to help clean it up. He also has a phobia of showers, and apparently washing machines.

This kid stank, and I mean proper permeating fetid stench of a thousand days unwashed stank. Your nose would crinkle involuntarily, your stomach would churn, eyes water. All of which isn't helpful when you're trying to drive. Seriously! Even the air around this kid felt oily.

This probably come from his unwashedness combined with his fetish for spicy food (he only ate things that contain a ton of chili - he even put chili flakes on cornflakes in the morning ala Dave Lister) mean that he had a significant stink factor.

After about 2 weeks we finally convinced him to start having a bath every other day, but have to put *dettol* in the water.

Despite all this he still wouldn't wash, he'd just sit in the water for 10 minutes then come out and announce that he was clean.

So he'd sit around moping in his grungy "leave me alone" way, stinking up the place, and we'd have to drive him places - trust me you do not want to be stuck in a hot car with that boy, even having the windows down doesn't help - and constantly try to steal his clothes to wash them while he was at college etc. Eventually I had enough and told my manager that when he got back I was going to get him to gut his room, wash all his clothes, then the firehose and clean him with that. The other kids thought this was a great idea, but apparently it comes under the child protection act or something daft like that.

So I got the other kids to do it instead mwahahaha.
(Andari, Sun 25 Mar 2007, 13:14, Reply)