Accidental Trade
I was young free and single, living in London, scraping a small wage but enjoying occasional nights out on the (then) glittering London Gay Scene in the mid-90s.
One evening, in a favoured West-End venue, the proceedings were unusually finessed.

I arrived moments before the witching hour when they started charging the entrance fees, bought one drink, walked to the dance floor to have a look at the gyrations. After two minutes, I leaned forward to get a better view - and my lips happened to brush the beautiful torso of a passing muscle mary. Mistaking this for a rather forward come-on, he smiled, I smiled, he chatted, I chatted and two minutes later we left for my flat.

Cost of getting into club - nil; Cost of lubricating drink - £3; The guileless absence of the extortion and games in this week's other posts - priceless!

At least up to this point....

The evening got better as I climbed into his glamorous Merc parked conveniently nearby, and he drove me home - top down, music full-on. None of the usual waiting for the nightbus, or trying to get a cab. We made a pretty glamorous pair as we parked in a well-lit side street near my Hackney flat and ascended for a memorable night of athletic rumpy-pumpy. You could have bounced pennies off every inch of naked flesh! I had been until recently, and was again - in Heaven.

We woke up next morning both of us pleasantly tired but glowing. Blissful! Washed and refreshed we ambled down, planning to get a leisurely breakfast - until the moment he let out a very high pitched squeal ( ..proper mary he turned out to be!)

His car had gone.

We spent the next tortuous hour discovering that a. Hackney council had introduced parking restrictions for the very first time in that area - at 2pm the previous day, b. he'd been towed, and c. it was going to cost £110 to get his car back!!

I remember an awkward conversation in which I feebly excused myself for not knowing about the new fines, a short walk to my nearest cash point and the very distinct flip-flop in my stomach as I handed over the £55 I couldn't afford... you could get proper trade for half that!!

Means we both paid dearly for that night of passion - so easy, so straightfoward, so memorable - and oh, so costly!!

Length, girth and everything else - unspeakably large and firm for a first post!
(Bergamot B , has not been to the office since, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 15:59, Reply)