Sacrilicious!
Back in my day, school lunchtimes involved sitting quietly in a classroom with your classmates, in your usual places, and eating sandwiches.

Not being a religious chap, my shameful hobby was convenienced by two facts: my father was a chef, and my place to sit was in front of the bookshelf near the back, in the religious studies room. I'm afraid I used to slip items of food between the pages of bibles while no one was looking. Cucumber, tomato, lettuce, cheese slices, ham, banana, gherkins, jam, crabsticks etc... even smoked vennison one time. I used to encourage my father to make sandwiches that might contain ingredients I had specifically intended to go on god's menu. This went on for several years and stopped when I reached the age of 13 and my ultimate goal of fitting an entire club sandwich (bread and all) within Corinthians (I also left for another school).

I was never caught and I'd never even heard any of the teachers mention it let alone complain about the awful smell, so I could only assume that the years of food I'd packed into the dusty old tomes were still there. Jesus could have fed a fair few on that lot, I expect.

Actually... I'm not ashamed at all... I'm proud. go me.
(dazsnow the "ever amazing" - cowjam said so once, Sat 26 Nov 2005, 1:37, Reply)