A few years ago
I was at a wedding reception. Never one to take it easy, I used to always get rapidly shitfaced, but on this particular occasion, I guess I realised that maybe I'd had one too many, so stepped outside to take a breather, and sat down on a wall.

All of a sudden, I found myself crumpled up in an upside-down heap on a grass verge against a wooden fence, without the faintest clue of how I'd got there. Enraged, I scrambled back up the verge, and went back into the venue, proclaiming that I'd been mugged.

Once somebody pointed out that I still had my wallet etc, it dawned on me that I'd simply up-ended backwards over the wall, and roly-poly'd down into the fence like the sozzled twat that I was.

Calmed down a bit on the drinking after that.
(thewankerstuff b3ta is like a whorehouse: full of cunts, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)