My first job
Was at Papa John's Pizza (Oh the shame!) making pizzas for minimum wage. The only perk of the job was that I got to take home as many pizzas as I wanted at the end of the night.

Since you can only eat pizza so many times a week, my friends and I, being teenagers, found other ways of disposing of the pizza.

In my neighborhood, there was a bright purple Chrysler PT Cruiser. I don't know if they have these in the UK, but they are the ugliest cars that have ever been made.

This is the abomination I am talking about

To make things worse, the owner of the car had the audacity to proclaim their pride in owning such a piece of donkey excrement with the license plate: PTCRUZA. Naturally this would not stand, so my friends and I pledged to attack this car with the our full arsenal of pizza reserves every night.

For weeks we would drive by and throw slice after slice at the car, laughing as each slice stuck to the bright purple paint, and every day, the owner would dutifully clean off the car. Apparently Papa John's pizza has some sort of chemical superingredient in it since even after washing, dozens of wedge shaped discolorations remained on the car.

This went on for weeks, until I quit the job. A few days later, I was hanging out with a friend, and we went to his dad's house to pick something up. (His parents are divorced and he lived with his mom) I had never been to his dad's house before. His father had a brand new Lexus parked out front of his house. I complimented his dad on his new car, and he said: "Yeah it's great, but I really liked my old car."

"Really? How come you got rid of it, was it old?"

"No, it kept getting vandalized."

"Yeah, that happens in this neighborhood, those kids will tag anything."

"Oh no, it wasn't graffiti."

"Oh? what was it?"

"Pizza. Every day my car would get covered in pizza."

I cannot believe I was able to restrain myself.

Still, it serves him right for a grown man to ride around in a purple pseudo-minivan.
(raulduke, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 20:49, 8 replies)

Yes, we have them in the UK
Yes, we think they're shit too.
(Bad Monkey hasn't had an abusive gaz since, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 21:31, closed)

Reading stories like this makes me sad.
People on the other side of the world are starving, and we're throwing away food as a prank.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 22:48, closed)

Ugly car, but man you're a nob.

(brutal stack Raided the beeves of Apollo on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 23:07, closed)

Yes
This
( Spunk Murphy Tchaikovsky is a synonym for fanny, apparently, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 23:12, closed)

Hideous cars
If you want a car that looks like a London cab, for fuck's sake BUY A LONDON CAB!
( eXOBeX, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 0:13, closed)

You come off worse in this story.
As it makes you sound like a brattish cunt.
( sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 2:29, closed)

well, yeah.
I was pretty much the definition of a brattish cunt as a teenager. I'm not saying I was right in doing it, or that I am proud of myself now that I am an adult, I'm just telling my story of vandalism. It was funny to me at the time, so I convey that in the story, but yeah, I don't dispute the cuntishness of it at all.
(raulduke, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:48, closed)

A fair reply to my grumpy comment.
*Raises hat*
( sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Sat 9 Oct 2010, 4:13, closed)