ok, this may sound like an urban myth but i swear, on my life, this happened to ME!
ok, i went to the surrey institute of art and design in farnham for my foundation and degree courses, foundation students start a month before degree students, so that year i had my twin room in halls to myself for the first month, then Wayne moved in. wayne was a wanker. that's his real name he deserves exposing. wayne and i didn't get on, we were completely opposite in every sense, anyway, to cut a long story short, one morning i woke up, and deciding i didn't feel like forcing small talk with waaaaayne, i pretended to be asleep still, that's when i heard the rhythmic squelchy slapping sound from the other side of the room (you know the one, pinch your cheek and oscillate it against your teeth, you get the idea) anyway, this goes on for a while, with me getting steadily more disgusted, when suddenly, he starts muttering under his breath 'oh you bitch, ooooh you bitch, oooooh you bitch you bitch you bitch', suffice to say that as soon as he'd finished his noises I got up, got dressed, got down to student services, and got myself a new room! I did hear someone in the plough (the local student pub) relating this legend to his mate, so i can only assume that my anguish and torment have passed into local myth!
( baby wet ones, Thu 3 Jun 2004, 17:01, Reply)