why a horse?!?!!?
this post will be very dissapointing for many if they go by the title.

anyhoo, i have a mate called james and he is the world's bestest sex pest. he once got back to a lady's house and was shagging her from behind and she fell asleep, i really do wonder how this happened. what does james do? wank's on her face and leaves only to get the guilt, come back, clean her up, put her to bed and leave her a note and draw her a picture of a horse - this is probably the single greatest thing i've ever heard about anyone doing
i love james for that, i dont get it but i do love it (just realized that applies for james drawing the horse and sex)

other stories include him shagging a bird in a club, getting caught by the bounchers and being frog marched out the club hardon standing tall and laughing and screaming all the way, thats right he took it in his stride and saw the funny side of walking through a club with an erection, fucking brilliant.
various 3somes hi fives and all,
him and his mates throwing up on eachothers cocks
accidently knocking a girl out on a bedpost

the list goes on
as for me there is the time i got tied up and bitten to shit, i dont know at what point she thought i enjoyed it but hey, walking out of the shower covered in bruises resembling bite marks is a toughie to explain to your mum, i think i just said it was lad damage as such
that said even though she was a biter, she was pure filth, hurrah

oh yeah and then the girl that dragged me back to my flat just as i came up off a pill to then avoid sex and ask if i had any diseases then decide she's actually a lesbian after practically raping me in the club, yup i turned a straight lass gay, i must be the world's bestest lover man eh

Edit: and then there's the ex who kept on saying how yummy my cock was in a really childish voice, words cant explain how much of a turn off that is. still pisses me off just thinking about it, and her tits were shit and i'm allowed to say that cause i broke up with her because she was nuts not 'cause of the tits, as shit as they were

"massive wanger joke type thing here"
(classic-spastic, Sun 17 Jun 2007, 4:35, Reply)