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Not to anyone on here.
She probably doesn't associate with fatties, and I'm assuming a good 90%+ on here are virgins.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:07, archived)
She must have noshed Phil
But that would mean he could have a memory wank over a 20 note?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:09, archived)
are you testing material for a stand-up show?
because it's going well!
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:10, archived)
manolith, you know comedy, explain this to me:
earlier I said "They are testing a new shopping site in the North of England which is a cross between Ebay and Gumtree. It is called Ebay-Gum." but no one laughed.
What's going on there?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:13, archived)
it must be the acoustics in here

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:15, archived)
That's what I figured. Because, as someone who knows comedy, you'll agree with me that
"They are testing a new shopping site in the North of England which is a cross between Ebay and Gumtree. It is called Ebay-Gum." is a VERY funny joke.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:18, archived)
You should've followed it with "bum-raped by a tramp"

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:20, archived)
"Are you recording this?"
Classic stuff!
Is that available elsewhere now that cr3's taken jamescartercomedy.com down?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:21, archived)
Oddly I think I have it saved on my hard drive.
I shall have to double check
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:31, archived)
write it on a postcard and send it to michael macintyre. see what he thinks
as britains' funniest manTM, he really knows comedy
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:21, archived)
I don't know.
I'm worried that if I write "They are testing a new shopping site in the North of England which is a cross between Ebay and Gumtree. It is called Ebay-Gum." on a postcard and send it to Michael McIntyre he will steal the joke "They are testing a new shopping site in the North of England which is a cross between Ebay and Gumtree. It is called Ebay-Gum." and next time I watch him being funny on Live At The Apollo he will say "They are testing a new shopping site in the North of England which is a cross between Ebay and Gumtree. It is called Ebay-Gum." and get a big laugh because it is a very funny joke and everyone will think it is his joke when in reality "They are testing a new shopping site in the North of England which is a cross between Ebay and Gumtree. It is called Ebay-Gum." is my joke. Unless I've accidentally ripped "They are testing a new shopping site in the North of England which is a cross between Ebay and Gumtree. It is called Ebay-Gum." off from someone else without meaning to.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:24, archived)
write
COPPYWRITE BALDMUNKI 4EVA IDST on it
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:26, archived)
I'm very pleased to see an idst revival

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:29, archived)
Hays IT, FrontUp Rugby Merchandise, Mitsubishi Electric and the Fat Duck Restaurant are launching a Joint Venture in Grassington
It is called AyUpMeDuck
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:56, archived)
AHHAHAHAAHAH!
Nice one.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:58, archived)
I've just heard jeremy vine use that joke on radio 2

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:55, archived)
Shit.
Did anyone laugh?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:57, archived)
Try this
I say, I call my girlfriend The Angel of the North. Because she's fucking massive.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:22, archived)
HAHAHA

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:23, archived)
See? FUNNY

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:24, archived)
I say, I call my girlfriend the Fist Of The North Star.
Because anime is shit.
Errrrrrrm.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:28, archived)
No wait. I can get this.
I call my girlfriend the Mona Lisa. Because she moans when I lease her.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:31, archived)
Jesus

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:32, archived)
No wait.
I call my girlfriend Scarface. Because I suspected her of looking at other men once.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:33, archived)
I've got it this time.
I call my girlfriend a star. Because I set her on fire when she got too dense.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:37, archived)
I call my girlfriend Niagra Falls because she gets very wet and has a massive opening?
Fuck it. I give in.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:44, archived)
Pfffffft

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:32, archived)
Terrible bullying by Modolith
S*CR*T M*D!!!
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:24, archived)
that was sincere! honest! also, you look handsome today!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:25, archived)
You spiteful cow

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:26, archived)
i'm trying to be nice! what's going on?! i treasure your friendship!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:27, archived)
harumph

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:28, archived)
*tickles under chin*

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:33, archived)
i have batfink style protection when it comes to sarcasm

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:26, archived)
Just thought about it today......
If he got some stamps he could do a flick book mini porno the profile would be facing the right way too.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:24, archived)
Wow.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:26, archived)
Hang on. Why a £20 note? Why not a £5 note? Or a 20p coin?
Instead of 20 note you should definitely have said "one of the many readily available items in this country with a picture of the queen on them, including, but not limited to, legal English currency." and then you should have said "errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm..."
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:20, archived)
I once saw a girl naked
I mean, it was a drawing. That I drew. From my imagination.
But she did whatever I wanted. I gave her tits on her buttocks because I could.

I stopped because I was becoming drunk with power.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:10, archived)
were they just buttocks with nipples or was there a pair of tits on each buttock or what?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:11, archived)
and on each boob a bum
infinite bum-boob loop
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:20, archived)
BUMBOOBBUMBOOBBUMBOOBBUM
did i just make a dubstep? is that how it works?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:22, archived)