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Scotland

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 22:52, Reply)
Sorry, I'm not really into Pokemon.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 22:57, Reply)
It's full of Scots.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:03, Reply)
'You'll never take our freeeeedom'
/takes freedom
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:04, Reply)
Dunno what that is, soz

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:13, Reply)
does it even really exist?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:13, Reply)
Really don't care what happens
unless Macsweens can no longer send us haggis. Then I'm going to kick RIGHT OFF.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:24, Reply)
its no

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:54, Reply)
ENGERLAND!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:25, Reply)
On the plus side, one more proper separate nationality for the EDL to hate

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:29, Reply)
In the event the yes vote wins we should demand that Hadrian's Wall is rebuilt and surrounded with razor wire and minefields to stop any of them getting into England.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:32, Reply)
Might as well move all the darkies and muslims up there too

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:34, Reply)
The Irish too. Dunno why we didn't do that in the first place, when they wanted their own country we should have just given them Scotland, just like when the Americans gave Palestine to the Jews.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:39, Reply)
Freebase has infiltrated CiF

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:33, Reply)
Best of all the bathroom cleaning products.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:46, Reply)
vote yes
cos i'll be fucking quids in
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:53, Reply)
Waves

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:59, Reply)
yo niggaz

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:12, Reply)
hilarious casual racism there

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:19, Reply)
casual racism is a stupid term

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:24, Reply)
how can it be racist if casual isn't even a race?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:27, Reply)
casual is just the actual word for them anyway
Can't be racist.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:42, Reply)
exactly ... if they don't like it they can go back to casualstan

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:44, Reply)
Hang on, I thought we were the Caucasuals?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 22:57, Reply)
Surely it's useful to be able to
differentiate between those who are actually racist, and those who are merely ignorant?
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:00, Reply)
no

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:12, Reply)
Suit yourself.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:15, Reply)
I prefer smart casual racism

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:29, Reply)
fuck smart casual

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:30, Reply)
Collar and shoes
jeans are ok
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:33, Reply)
shoes are for people who can't afford decent sneakers

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:46, Reply)
i got phat laces

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:51, Reply)
i usually fuck naked, but whatever you say

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:34, Reply)
haha joke, i'm totes a virgin with a tiny willy

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:35, Reply)
please remember to put your bins out

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 22:10, Reply)
thanks for the helpful reminder, vlad
you're one of the good ones
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 22:14, Reply)
eveninh

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 20:33, Reply)
hi

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 20:34, Reply)
aye

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 20:46, Reply)
thank you for your vote

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:11, Reply)
hiya babe

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 20:49, Reply)
sup

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:00, Reply)
oh here we go, belittled already

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:00, Reply)
aight

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 21:20, Reply)
2 can is a bellend
discuss
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:17, Reply)
All in favour of throwing 2can over the wall?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:19, Reply)
any particular wall?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:41, Reply)
hadrians wall

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:53, Reply)
good thinking

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:04, Reply)
Pink Floyd's The Wall?
I don't see how that will help. I mean, that doesn't even make sense. Throwing someone over a classic prog album? It's nonsense at best.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:45, Reply)
yeah, sorry
I dunno what i was thinking
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:58, Reply)
Sometimes I go into the garden, cover myself in soil and pretend I am a carrot
Just to avoid 2 cans posts
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:25, Reply)
ingenious

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:42, Reply)
erricacious

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 22:11, Reply)
He did finger my bumhole.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:28, Reply)
lucky he has tiny girls hands

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:35, Reply)
in an official capacity?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:42, Reply)
I was dressed as a dog :(

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:49, Reply)
he was trying to curry favour with rob
it didn't work
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:03, Reply)
and yet the mods do nothing, ima put him on block, *Bangs the ignore drum

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:30, Reply)
bunch of layabouts

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:42, Reply)
Why are you bullying The LOVELY 2 Can you dog-bothering beardwrong?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:39, Reply)
because he's a bellend

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:43, Reply)
We've only got your word for that.
And you lie more than a QOTWer.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:46, Reply)
you only see what you want to see, stuj
that's why you keep backing spastics
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:02, Reply)
If that were the case I'd be backing you, you spasticated bellend.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:11, Reply)
and you do!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:40, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:25, Reply)
*Backs mongy*

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:51, Reply)
when I stop posting I'll be dead, I'm a certified rable rouser

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 19:52, Reply)
I'm disgusted that my NI contributions are paying for him to sit on the internet all day

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:14, Reply)
he needs google for diagnosis , then when web Dr tells him what antibiotics to prescribe he trolls here

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:30, Reply)
All my GP does is bang buttons, I oughta ask him what his b3ta username is

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:33, Reply)
except for when he goes on fake holiday

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:42, Reply)
It's cos I turned down his request for another prostate examination.
10 in 3 weeks seems a little unnecessary.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 20:24, Reply)
I might put a tenner on a Yes vote

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:43, Reply)
as in 'yes, 2 can is a bellend'?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:06, Reply)
If I'm right I only get £10.01 back

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:10, Reply)
You might be right

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:46, Reply)
i might be always right

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:08, Reply)
There's no chance you're wrong

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:45, Reply)
think I might have stood in cat shit but can't be arsed looking at the sole of my shoe

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:55, Reply)
just scrape it off on a passing rat

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:09, Reply)
a frog just jumped on my foot
What the fuck is that about? Am I a witch or something?

imgur.com/tCfkG3i
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:12, Reply)
those are some crazy shoes you hippy

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:26, Reply)
I was wearing brogues like some sort of a working cunt.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:39, Reply)

working cunt Mr Men character
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:47, Reply)
Mr Cunt

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 19:00, Reply)
came too soon again

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 19:09, Reply)
he was drawn by the catshit

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 18:42, Reply)
pretty sure they were drawn by Roger Hargreaves

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 19:15, Reply)
I wish 2Can was my GP.
I bet he's the best at healing the sick, and I hear he's just dreamy...
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 19:40, Reply)
^gay sex tourist

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 19:51, Reply)
I wish he was your gp too ... he's clearly incompetent and with any luck he'd accidentally kill you

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 19:58, Reply)
Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but insults over the internet really hurt me.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 22:48, Reply)
Sticks and stones might break my bones, but manolith is busy pushing them up his wee hole so they're unavailable right now.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:29, Reply)
Normally, it makes me sad when the grown-ups fight,
but this is sexy as fuck.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 23:51, Reply)
You spelt legend wrong

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 20:18, Reply)
i know what i spelt

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 20:44, Reply)
hoxton update
Still too many shit beards.
One bloke on a fixed gear bike with blue tyres and the word "fixie" stenciled on the frame in case you didn't fucking notice
One excellent pair of knockers
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:11, Reply)
I have no idea what you just said.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:13, Reply)
just close your eyes and kiss me

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:15, Reply)
Some bloke on a crappy bike
had bad facial hair but nice tits.
Long story short, Doctor Ess is in love.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:15, Reply)
I didn't know what Hoxton is but wikipedia says the following:
Hoxton is a district in the East End of London, England in the London Borough of Hackney, immediately north of the financial district of the City of London. The area of Hoxton is bordered by Regent's Canal on the north side, Wharf Road and City Road to the west, Old Street to the south, and Kingsland Road to the east.

Hoxton is also a ward, electing three councillors to Hackney London Borough Council. It forms part of the Hackney South and Shoreditch constituency.

"Hogesdon" is first recorded in the Domesday Book, meaning an Anglo-Saxon farm (or "fortified enclosure") belonging to Hoch, or Hocq.[1] Little is recorded of the origins of the settlement, though there was Roman activity around Ermine Street, which ran to the east of the area from the 1st century. In medieval times, Hoxton formed a rural part of Shoreditch parish.[2] It achieved independent ecclesiastical status in 1826 with the founding of its own parish church[3] dedicated to St John the Baptist, though civil jurisdiction was still invested in the Shoreditch vestry. The Worshipful Company of Haberdashers remains Patron of the advowson of the parish of St John's.[4]

In 1415, the Lord Mayor of London "caused the wall of the City to be broken towards Moorfields, and built the postern called Moorgate, for the ease of the citizens to walk that way upon causeways towards Islington and Hoxton"[1] – at that time, still marshy areas. The residents responded by harassing walkers to protect their fields. A century later, the hedges and ditches were destroyed, by order of the City, to enable City dwellers to partake in leisure at Hoxton.[1]
Tudor Hoxton

By Tudor times many moated manor houses existed to provide ambassadors and courtiers country air nearby the City. This included many Catholics, attracted by the house of the Portuguese Ambassador,[5] who, in his private chapel,[6] celebrated the masses forbidden in a Protestant country.[7] One such resident was Sir Thomas Tresham, who was imprisoned here by Elizabeth I of England for harbouring Catholic priests. The open fields to the north and west were frequently used for archery practice,[8] and on 22 September 1598 the playwright Ben Jonson fought a fatal duel in Hoxton Fields, killing actor Gabriel Spencer. Jonson was able to prove his literacy, thereby claiming benefit of clergy to escape a hanging.

Hoxton's public gardens were a popular resort from the overcrowded City streets, and it is reputed that the name of Pimlico came from the publican, Ben Pimlico,[9] and his particular brew.

Have at thee, then, my merrie boyes, and beg for old Ben Pimlico’s nut-brown ale.[10]

The gardens appear to have been situated near Hoxton Street, known at that time, as Pimlico Path. The modern area of Pimlico derives its name from its former use in Hoxton.
Gunpowder, treason and a letter
Main article: Gunpowder Plot

On 26 October 1605 Hoxton achieved notoriety, when a letter arrived at the home of local resident William Parker, Lord Monteagle warning him not to attend the Parliament summoned by James I to convene on 5 November, because "yet I say they shall receive a terrible blow, the Parliament, and yet they shall not see who hurts them". The letter may have been sent by his brother-in-law Francis Tresham, or he may have written it himself, to curry favour. The letter was read aloud at supper, before prominent Catholics, and then he delivered it personally to Robert Cecil at Whitehall. While the conspirators were alerted, by the public reading, to the existence of the letter they persevered with their plot as their gunpowder remained undiscovered. William Parker accompanied Thomas Howard, the Lord Chamberlain, at his visit to the undercroft of Parliament, where Guy Fawkes was found in the early hours of 5 November.[11] Most of the conspirators fled on the discovery of the Gunpowder Plot, but Francis Tresham was arrested a few days later at his house in Hoxton. A commemorative plaque is attached to modern flats at the site of Parker's house in Hoxton Street.
Almshouses and madhouses

By the end of the 17th century the nobility's estates began to be broken up. Many of these large houses became to be used as schools, hospitals or mad houses, with almshouses being built on the land between by benefactors, most of whom were City liverymen. Aske's Almshouses[12] were built on Pitfield Street in 1689 from Robert Aske's endowment for 20 poor haberdashers and a school for 20 children of freemen. Hoxton House, was established as a private asylum in 1695. It was owned by the Miles family, and expanded rapidly into the surrounding streets being described by Coleridge as the Hoxton madhouse.[13] Here fee-paying 'gentle and middle class' people took their exercise in the extensive grounds between Pitfield Street and Kingsland Road;[14] including the poet Charles Lamb.[15] Over 500 pauper lunatics resided in closed wards,[16] and it remained the Naval Lunatic Asylum until 1818.[13] The asylum closed in 1911; and the only remains are by Hackney Community College, where a part of the house was incorporated into the school that replaced it in 1921. At this time Hoxton Square and Charles Square were laid out, forming a fashionable area. Non-conformist sects were attracted to the area, away from the restrictions of the City's regulations.[1]
Victorian era and 20th century
Hoxton Hall, still an active community resource

In the Victorian era the railways made travelling to distant suburbs easier, and this combined with infill building and industrialisation to drive away the wealthier classes, leaving Hoxton a concentration of the poor with many slums. The area became a centre for the furniture trade.[1]

Charles Booth in Life and Labour of the People in London of 1902 gave the following description:

The character of the whole locality is working-class. Poverty is everywhere, with a considerable admixture of the very poor and vicious ... Large numbers have been and are still being displaced by the encroachment of warehouses and factories ... Hoxton is known for its costers and Curtain criminals, for its furniture trade ... No servants

are kept except in the main Road shopping streets and in a few remaining middle class squares in the west.[1]

LBH heritage plaque, now attached to modern flats

In Hoxton Street, a plaque marks the location of the Britannia Theatre. This evolved from the former Pimlico tea gardens, a tavern and a saloon, into a 3,000-seat theatre, designed by Finch Hill. Together with the nearby Pollock's Toy Museum, it was destroyed in Second World War bombing. Hoxton Hall, also in Hoxton Street, which survives as a community centre, began life in 1863 as a 'saloon style' music hall. It remains largely in its original form, as for many years it was used as a Quaker meeting house. There was also the 1870 Varieties Music Hall (by C. J. Phipps) in nearby Pitfield Street, this became a cinema in 1910, closing in 1941. Since 2003 the site has remained empty, but in 2008 it was gutted and prepared for a refurb. Local opposition to the design has resulted in the project being put on hold, so it now remains empty and "For Sale".

In the former vestry of St Leonard Shoreditch Electric Light Station, just to the north of Hoxton Market, is based The Circus Space. Inside, the "Generating Chamber" and "Combustion Chamber" provide facilities for circus training and production. The building was constructed by the Vestry in 1895 to burn local rubbish and generate electricity. It also provided steam to heat the public baths. This replaced an earlier facility providing gas-light, located in Shoreditch.

Gainsborough Studios were located in a former power station, in Poole Street, by the Regents Canal. The film studios operated there from 1924 to 1951.[17] An historical plaque is attached to the building, now a modern apartment block, that occupies the site since the studios' demolition in 2002. The plaque reads

London Borough of Hackney
The Gainsborough Film Studios 1924–1949
Alfred Hitchcock, Michael Balcon, Ivor Novello, Gracie Fields, "The Lady Vanishes", "The Wicked Lady" worked and were filmed here

With a new-found popularity, large parts of Hoxton have been gentrified; this has inevitably aroused hostility among some local residents, who believe they are being priced out of the area. Some parts of Hoxton, however, remain deprived with council housing dominating the landscape.
Hoxton Square. The White Cube Gallery is in the background to the right. (January 2006)
Today

The geographical distinction between Hoxton and Shoreditch is often confused. The two districts have a historical link as part of the same manor, and in the 19th century both formed part of the Metropolitan Borough of Shoreditch. This was incorporated into the newly created London Borough of Hackney in 1965, but old street signs bearing the name are still to be found throughout the area.

Manufacturing developments in the years after the Second World War meant that many of the small industries that characterised Hoxton moved out. By the early 1980s, these industrial lofts and buildings came to be occupied by young artists as inexpensive live/work spaces, while exhibitions, raves and clubs occupied former office and retail space at the beginning of the 1990s. During this time Joshua Compston established his Factual Nonsense gallery on Charlotte Road in Shoreditch and organised art fetes in Hoxton Square. Their presence gradually drew other creative industries into the area, especially magazines, design firms, and dot-coms.

By the end of the 20th century, the southern half of Hoxton had become a vibrant arts and entertainment district boasting a large number of bars, nightclubs, restaurants, and art galleries. In this period, the new Hoxton residents could be identified by their obscurely fashionable (or "ironically" unfashionable) clothes and their hair (the so-called "Hoxton Fin", as exemplified by Fran Healy of Travis). The excesses and fashion-centricity of Hoxton and Shoreditch denizens have been satirised in the satirical magazine Shoreditch Twat, on the TVGoHome website, and in the sitcom Nathan Barley. This fashionable area centres around Hoxton Square, a small park bordered mainly by former industrial buildings, as well as the elegant 19th century parish church of St John's.[18]

The northern half of the district is more residential and contains many council housing estates and new-build private residences. Residents are typically older and the unemployment and crime rates, with the exceptions of drug offences, robbery and theft, are relatively high compared to some parts of the borough.[19] Hoxton Street Market is the focal point of this end of the district. The market sells a wide range of household goods during the week and specialises in independent fashion, art and design products on Saturdays. Nearby is the Geffrye Museum and Hoxton War Memorial.

Property prices have continued to rise steeply since the early years of the 21st century as property developers have moved to cash in on the area's trendy image, central location and transport links. Some galleries have, as a result, moved to nearby Shoreditch, or have relocated further afield to cheaper districts such as London Fields or Bethnal Green. In response, the local council formed a not-for-profit corporation, Shoreditch Our Way (now called The Shoreditch Trust), to buy local buildings and lease them out as community facilities and housing. The extension of the East London Line (completed in 2010), has provided the local rail access which was lost when the line from Broad Street closed to services.
Hoxton Market

Hoxton Market, which is now in Hoxton Street rather than its original site to the west of Hoxton Square, was founded in 1687. This market was the cornerstone of the local community but, from the 1980s onwards, changed from a thriving market to one that lost its trade to the move towards supermarkets and away from the traditional street market meeting all of the community's needs. In 2013 the local business community, working with the Council, started work to revive the market and this has attracted great attention and increased trade, complemented by new shops opening along the length of the market.[citation needed]
People with Hoxton links
Main article: List of people from Hackney

Charles Bradlaugh, founder of the National Secular Society in 1866, was born in Hoxton.
Frank Chapple, union leader, was born and raised in Hoxton. He was ennobled as Lord Chapple of Hoxton in 1985
Peter Dean, who played Pete Beale in EastEnders from 1985 to 1993, was born in Hoxton in 1939.
Jason Donovan, actor and singer, lived in Hoxton whilst appearing in numerous West End shows.
Alfred Hitchcock began his career at the Gainsborough Studios
The Stage newspaper columnist Tommy Kane was born in bygone Harman Street Hoxton on 24 March 1933. In his column headed "Raising Kane", which ran from 1965 to 1981, he featured many unknowns who became famous. Amongst these were Charlie Smithers, Lennie Peters, Mike Reid[disambiguation needed], Grace Kennedy, Carol Lee Scott (Grotbags), Michael Barrymore, and Ray Donn, who became famous for his successful Publand Variety Shows from 1966 to 1980.
Reggie & Ronnie Kray – East End gangsters born in Stene Street Hoxton (1933)
Marie Lloyd – music hall star, was born Matilda Alice Victoria Wood here on 12 February 1870, the eldest of nine children. She and her sisters longed to go on the stage, and haunted the local Royal Eagle Tavern music hall, on City Road (where their father also worked, as a waiter). Seven of her siblings went on to professional stage careers, adopting the surname Lloyd, apart from Daisy, who had a successful career as Daisy Wood.
Hoxton Tom McCourt, influential in the late 1970s and early 1980s mod and oi/punk scenes and founder of the band, the 4-Skins
Lenny McLean, actor, bouncer, bare-knuckle boxer and 'hardest man in Britain' was born here
Jamie Oliver opened the original Fifteen restaurant in Hoxton in 2002
James Parkinson, physician and researcher on Parkinson's Disease, was a resident of Hoxton Square
Jason Pierce, of the band Spaceman 3 and Spiritualized lives in Hoxton.
Abraham Rees, editor and Unitarian minister, was a tutor at Hoxton Academy
George Sewell, renowned TV actor was born in Hoxton.
Post-war variety star comedian Charlie Smithers was born in Hoxton.[citation needed]
Mary Wollstonecraft, social reformer, writer and mother of Mary Shelley, was born and spent her early years here.
Neilson N. Kaufman was brought up in Stringer House, Nuttall Street off Kingsland Road, Hoxton. He has been the Honorary Historian and Author to Leyton Orient Football Club for over forty years, although now residing in Johannesburg, South Africa. He has written over the years twelve books on the history and players of the club.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:19, Reply)
Oh whoops I seem to have accidentally pushed all that being mean about 2can stuff right down the board

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:20, Reply)

wikipedia says the following:
Hoxton is a district in the East End of London, England in the London Borough of Hackney, immediately north of the financial district of the City of London. The area of Hoxton is bordered by Regent's Canal on the north side, Wharf Road and City Road to the west, Old Street to the south, and Kingsland Road to the east.

Hoxton is also a ward, electing three councillors to Hackney London Borough Council. It forms part of the Hackney South and Shoreditch constituency.

"Hogesdon" is first recorded in the Domesday Book, meaning an Anglo-Saxon farm (or "fortified enclosure") belonging to Hoch, or Hocq.[1] Little is recorded of the origins of the settlement, though there was Roman activity around Ermine Street, which ran to the east of the area from the 1st century. In medieval times, Hoxton formed a rural part of Shoreditch parish.[2] It achieved independent ecclesiastical status in 1826 with the founding of its own parish church[3] dedicated to St John the Baptist, though civil jurisdiction was still invested in the Shoreditch vestry. The Worshipful Company of Haberdashers remains Patron of the advowson of the parish of St John's.[4]

In 1415, the Lord Mayor of London "caused the wall of the City to be broken towards Moorfields, and built the postern called Moorgate, for the ease of the citizens to walk that way upon causeways towards Islington and Hoxton"[1] – at that time, still marshy areas. The residents responded by harassing walkers to protect their fields. A century later, the hedges and ditches were destroyed, by order of the City, to enable City dwellers to partake in leisure at Hoxton.[1]
Tudor Hoxton

By Tudor times many moated manor houses existed to provide ambassadors and courtiers country air nearby the City. This included many Catholics, attracted by the house of the Portuguese Ambassador,[5] who, in his private chapel,[6] celebrated the masses forbidden in a Protestant country.[7] One such resident was Sir Thomas Tresham, who was imprisoned here by Elizabeth I of England for harbouring Catholic priests. The open fields to the north and west were frequently used for archery practice,[8] and on 22 September 1598 the playwright Ben Jonson fought a fatal duel in Hoxton Fields, killing actor Gabriel Spencer. Jonson was able to prove his literacy, thereby claiming benefit of clergy to escape a hanging.

Hoxton's public gardens were a popular resort from the overcrowded City streets, and it is reputed that the name of Pimlico came from the publican, Ben Pimlico,[9] and his particular brew.

Have at thee, then, my merrie boyes, and beg for old Ben Pimlico’s nut-brown ale.[10]

The gardens appear to have been situated near Hoxton Street, known at that time, as Pimlico Path. The modern area of Pimlico derives its name from its former use in Hoxton.
Gunpowder, treason and a letter
Main article: Gunpowder Plot

On 26 October 1605 Hoxton achieved notoriety, when a letter arrived at the home of local resident William Parker, Lord Monteagle warning him not to attend the Parliament summoned by James I to convene on 5 November, because "yet I say they shall receive a terrible blow, the Parliament, and yet they shall not see who hurts them". The letter may have been sent by his brother-in-law Francis Tresham, or he may have written it himself, to curry favour. The letter was read aloud at supper, before prominent Catholics, and then he delivered it personally to Robert Cecil at Whitehall. While the conspirators were alerted, by the public reading, to the existence of the letter they persevered with their plot as their gunpowder remained undiscovered. William Parker accompanied Thomas Howard, the Lord Chamberlain, at his visit to the undercroft of Parliament, where Guy Fawkes was found in the early hours of 5 November.[11] Most of the conspirators fled on the discovery of the Gunpowder Plot, but Francis Tresham was arrested a few days later at his house in Hoxton. A commemorative plaque is attached to modern flats at the site of Parker's house in Hoxton Street.
Almshouses and madhouses

By the end of the 17th century the nobility's estates began to be broken up. Many of these large houses became to be used as schools, hospitals or mad houses, with almshouses being built on the land between by benefactors, most of whom were City liverymen. Aske's Almshouses[12] were built on Pitfield Street in 1689 from Robert Aske's endowment for 20 poor haberdashers and a school for 20 children of freemen. Hoxton House, was established as a private asylum in 1695. It was owned by the Miles family, and expanded rapidly into the surrounding streets being described by Coleridge as the Hoxton madhouse.[13] Here fee-paying 'gentle and middle class' people took their exercise in the extensive grounds between Pitfield Street and Kingsland Road;[14] including the poet Charles Lamb.[15] Over 500 pauper lunatics resided in closed wards,[16] and it remained the Naval Lunatic Asylum until 1818.[13] The asylum closed in 1911; and the only remains are by Hackney Community College, where a part of the house was incorporated into the school that replaced it in 1921. At this time Hoxton Square and Charles Square were laid out, forming a fashionable area. Non-conformist sects were attracted to the area, away from the restrictions of the City's regulations.[1]
Victorian era and 20th century
Hoxton Hall, still an active community resource

In the Victorian era the railways made travelling to distant suburbs easier, and this combined with infill building and industrialisation to drive away the wealthier classes, leaving Hoxton a concentration of the poor with many slums. The area became a centre for the furniture trade.[1]

Charles Booth in Life and Labour of the People in London of 1902 gave the following description:

The character of the whole locality is working-class. Poverty is everywhere, with a considerable admixture of the very poor and vicious ... Large numbers have been and are still being displaced by the encroachment of warehouses and factories ... Hoxton is known for its costers and Curtain criminals, for its furniture trade ... No servants

are kept except in the main Road shopping streets and in a few remaining middle class squares in the west.[1]

LBH heritage plaque, now attached to modern flats

In Hoxton Street, a plaque marks the location of the Britannia Theatre. This evolved from the former Pimlico tea gardens, a tavern and a saloon, into a 3,000-seat theatre, designed by Finch Hill. Together with the nearby Pollock's Toy Museum, it was destroyed in Second World War bombing. Hoxton Hall, also in Hoxton Street, which survives as a community centre, began life in 1863 as a 'saloon style' music hall. It remains largely in its original form, as for many years it was used as a Quaker meeting house. There was also the 1870 Varieties Music Hall (by C. J. Phipps) in nearby Pitfield Street, this became a cinema in 1910, closing in 1941. Since 2003 the site has remained empty, but in 2008 it was gutted and prepared for a refurb. Local opposition to the design has resulted in the project being put on hold, so it now remains empty and "For Sale".

In the former vestry of St Leonard Shoreditch Electric Light Station, just to the north of Hoxton Market, is based The Circus Space. Inside, the "Generating Chamber" and "Combustion Chamber" provide facilities for circus training and production. The building was constructed by the Vestry in 1895 to burn local rubbish and generate electricity. It also provided steam to heat the public baths. This replaced an earlier facility providing gas-light, located in Shoreditch.

Gainsborough Studios were located in a former power station, in Poole Street, by the Regents Canal. The film studios operated there from 1924 to 1951.[17] An historical plaque is attached to the building, now a modern apartment block, that occupies the site since the studios' demolition in 2002. The plaque reads

London Borough of Hackney
The Gainsborough Film Studios 1924–1949
Alfred Hitchcock, Michael Balcon, Ivor Novello, Gracie Fields, "The Lady Vanishes", "The Wicked Lady" worked and were filmed here

With a new-found popularity, large parts of Hoxton have been gentrified; this has inevitably aroused hostility among some local residents, who believe they are being priced out of the area. Some parts of Hoxton, however, remain deprived with council housing dominating the landscape.
Hoxton Square. The White Cube Gallery is in the background to the right. (January 2006)
Today

The geographical distinction between Hoxton and Shoreditch is often confused. The two districts have a historical link as part of the same manor, and in the 19th century both formed part of the Metropolitan Borough of Shoreditch. This was incorporated into the newly created London Borough of Hackney in 1965, but old street signs bearing the name are still to be found throughout the area.

Manufacturing developments in the years after the Second World War meant that many of the small industries that characterised Hoxton moved out. By the early 1980s, these industrial lofts and buildings came to be occupied by young artists as inexpensive live/work spaces, while exhibitions, raves and clubs occupied former office and retail space at the beginning of the 1990s. During this time Joshua Compston established his Factual Nonsense gallery on Charlotte Road in Shoreditch and organised art fetes in Hoxton Square. Their presence gradually drew other creative industries into the area, especially magazines, design firms, and dot-coms.

By the end of the 20th century, the southern half of Hoxton had become a vibrant arts and entertainment district boasting a large number of bars, nightclubs, restaurants, and art galleries. In this period, the new Hoxton residents could be identified by their obscurely fashionable (or "ironically" unfashionable) clothes and their hair (the so-called "Hoxton Fin", as exemplified by Fran Healy of Travis). The excesses and fashion-centricity of Hoxton and Shoreditch denizens have been satirised in the satirical magazine Shoreditch Twat, on the TVGoHome website, and in the sitcom Nathan Barley. This fashionable area centres around Hoxton Square, a small park bordered mainly by former industrial buildings, as well as the elegant 19th century parish church of St John's.[18]

The northern half of the district is more residential and contains many council housing estates and new-build private residences. Residents are typically older and the unemployment and crime rates, with the exceptions of drug offences, robbery and theft, are relatively high compared to some parts of the borough.[19] Hoxton Street Market is the focal point of this end of the district. The market sells a wide range of household goods during the week and specialises in independent fashion, art and design products on Saturdays. Nearby is the Geffrye Museum and Hoxton War Memorial.

Property prices have continued to rise steeply since the early years of the 21st century as property developers have moved to cash in on the area's trendy image, central location and transport links. Some galleries have, as a result, moved to nearby Shoreditch, or have relocated further afield to cheaper districts such as London Fields or Bethnal Green. In response, the local council formed a not-for-profit corporation, Shoreditch Our Way (now called The Shoreditch Trust), to buy local buildings and lease them out as community facilities and housing. The extension of the East London Line (completed in 2010), has provided the local rail access which was lost when the line from Broad Street closed to services.
Hoxton Market

Hoxton Market, which is now in Hoxton Street rather than its original site to the west of Hoxton Square, was founded in 1687. This market was the cornerstone of the local community but, from the 1980s onwards, changed from a thriving market to one that lost its trade to the move towards supermarkets and away from the traditional street market meeting all of the community's needs. In 2013 the local business community, working with the Council, started work to revive the market and this has attracted great attention and increased trade, complemented by new shops opening along the length of the market.[citation needed]
People with Hoxton links
Main article: List of people from Hackney

Charles Bradlaugh, founder of the National Secular Society in 1866, was born in Hoxton.
Frank Chapple, union leader, was born and raised in Hoxton. He was ennobled as Lord Chapple of Hoxton in 1985
Peter Dean, who played Pete Beale in EastEnders from 1985 to 1993, was born in Hoxton in 1939.
Jason Donovan, actor and singer, lived in Hoxton whilst appearing in numerous West End shows.
Alfred Hitchcock began his career at the Gainsborough Studios
The Stage newspaper columnist Tommy Kane was born in bygone Harman Street Hoxton on 24 March 1933. In his column headed "Raising Kane", which ran from 1965 to 1981, he featured many unknowns who became famous. Amongst these were Charlie Smithers, Lennie Peters, Mike Reid[disambiguation needed], Grace Kennedy, Carol Lee Scott (Grotbags), Michael Barrymore, and Ray Donn, who became famous for his successful Publand Variety Shows from 1966 to 1980.
Reggie & Ronnie Kray – East End gangsters born in Stene Street Hoxton (1933)
Marie Lloyd – music hall star, was born Matilda Alice Victoria Wood here on 12 February 1870, the eldest of nine children. She and her sisters longed to go on the stage, and haunted the local Royal Eagle Tavern music hall, on City Road (where their father also worked, as a waiter). Seven of her siblings went on to professional stage careers, adopting the surname Lloyd, apart from Daisy, who had a successful career as Daisy Wood.
Hoxton Tom McCourt, influential in the late 1970s and early 1980s mod and oi/punk scenes and founder of the band, the 4-Skins
Lenny McLean, actor, bouncer, bare-knuckle boxer and 'hardest man in Britain' was born here
Jamie Oliver opened the original Fifteen restaurant in Hoxton in 2002
James Parkinson, physician and researcher on Parkinson's Disease, was a resident of Hoxton Square
Jason Pierce, of the band Spaceman 3 and Spiritualized lives in Hoxton.
Abraham Rees, editor and Unitarian minister, was a tutor at Hoxton Academy
George Sewell, renowned TV actor was born in Hoxton.
Post-war variety star comedian Charlie Smithers was born in Hoxton.[citation needed]
Mary Wollstonecraft, social reformer, writer and mother of Mary Shelley, was born and spent her early years here.
Neilson N. Kaufman was brought up in Stringer House, Nuttall Street off Kingsland Road, Hoxton. He has been the Honorary Historian and Author to Leyton Orient Football Club for over forty years, although now residing in Johannesburg, South Africa. He has written over the years twelve books on the history and players of the club.


+ now I do. The end.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:20, Reply)
You've made the font a bit small, I'm struggling to read it Two Hats

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:22, Reply)
Ok, I have a couple of questions
What is a fixed gear bike and why should someone want to show off about having one?
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:16, Reply)
it's a bike with a single gear and no freewheel mechanism on the drive wheel
they're kinda useful in some circumstances but became the hipster bicycle of choice a few years ago
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:19, Reply)
Ah ok

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:19, Reply)
It's a bike that drug dealers ride around on. They paint that on them so you know they can fix you up with some gear.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:24, Reply)
they're fucking pointless

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:33, Reply)
"let's take this really handy thing that someone invented and not even fucking use it"

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:34, Reply)
this could either refer to the freewheel mechanism or the car
your choice
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:35, Reply)
fixies are actually good fun
but don't tell anybody or they'll think I'm a wannabe hipster cunt
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:42, Reply)
your secret is safe with me.
and the rest of the visitors to this page publicly available to anyone.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:48, Reply)
Being able to pedal backwards, stops being useful the moment you take the stabilisers off.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:09, Reply)
the 'hide' button is the only genuinely useful thing left on this board

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:23, Reply)
Apart from me.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:32, Reply)
obvs

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:37, Reply)
what did you call me?!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:38, Reply)
"mommy"

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:46, Reply)
son!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:47, Reply)
All beards are shit beards
you pretentious mid-life-crisis wannabe hipster cunt
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:32, Reply)
I've had a beard since the 1990s
I was a wannabe hipster cunt before white people even started moving back into hoxton
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:37, Reply)
so it's all your fault?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:38, Reply)
probably
although I spent most of that time in dirty basements fucked off my nut while the proto hipsters were ... I dunno ... prolly prep school
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:44, Reply)

prep school in nappies
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:54, Reply)
Hoxton Whores are pretty decent

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:43, Reply)
They're no Jossie's Giants

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:57, Reply)
I AM A SHIT BEARD

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:57, Reply)
Sexiest shit beard in Christendom

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:29, Reply)
even the market is shit now

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:06, Reply)
I decided to grow my stubble out a bit just to confuse my elderly patients.
It's been a complete success, half of them seem to think they have a new doctor now.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:12, Reply)
they clearly thought you were a woman before

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 17:30, Reply)
Didn't know 2Can was Asian
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-29254609
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:27, Reply)
Shit day
some good news though
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:29, Reply)
No mention of him fingering her bumhole,
so I doubt it's him.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:34, Reply)
I watched supernatural thriller 1408 today
Considering it's based on a Short story by Stephen King and starring John Cusack, it was actually not terrible.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:36, Reply)
Considering you're an utter twat, you're actually not terrible.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:39, Reply)
Once again, you've tied me up in logic

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:40, Reply)
Once again, you've lied me up in togic.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:59, Reply)
Good story, that, but
given that it's basically the following:
- sceptical man rents room
- room is haunted
- man runs away
I'm not convinced that there's enough material for a feature length film.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:40, Reply)
The inclusion of Samuel L Jackson seemed a little superfluous
But it was ok. I've seen films a lot worse than this
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:46, Reply)
he loves inserting himself into things

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:01, Reply)
But enough about 2Can...

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:03, Reply)
Oh ha ha

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 16:11, Reply)
ee just put a content block on my phone for this forum
what's that about?
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:52, Reply)
using a mirror btw
so it's ok
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:52, Reply)
is the text backwards, lol

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:12, Reply)
siht ekil i

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:22, Reply)
I like shit too ... wanna party?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:24, Reply)
rip veronica :(

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:25, Reply)
manolith was spouting filth yesterday

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:52, Reply)
he's a dirty cunt, that manolith

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:55, Reply)
fucks me right off the tone he uses on a family website, prick

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:10, Reply)
woah woah woah, that is NOT true
it was the day before yesterday
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:56, Reply)
you'll get us shut down

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:13, Reply)
yep same here.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:53, Reply)
i can't even turn it off
i went to that my ee thing and it tells me there's a fault when i try to change the setting
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:54, Reply)
It's shit. it's blocking legitimate sites as well
I bet I can still access grot sites
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:55, Reply)
meatspin is also blocked

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:07, Reply)
shit just got real

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:32, Reply)
ditto

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:04, Reply)
I think you have to phone them up and ask them to make pornography come on your phone again

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:06, Reply)
it's for your own good they just want what's best for you

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:55, Reply)
i make my own filthy decisions

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:08, Reply)
yeah, me too
and reddit, for some reason
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:56, Reply)
even they have realised it's dead on its arse and they don't want you wasting data allowances

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:57, Reply)
ee
by gum
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:57, Reply)
Probably a virus, don't click anything

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:10, Reply)
oh wow, a fake albert marshmallow

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:12, Reply)
it's 2can

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:24, Reply)
All telecoms networks are run by dickheads.
Also, /talk had the truth that they don't want you to know about.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:24, Reply)
Yeah they blocked all my shit today
facebook, reddit, b3ta, the lot
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:25, Reply)

ee.co.uk/help/contact-us
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:25, Reply)
i'm disappointed that wasn't a disguised link to something hilarious

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 15:54, Reply)
So..
What's for lunch? I'll be having beer.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:21, Reply)
I had a salad.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahah haha haaaa ha haaaa ha.

(I had a burrito)
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:28, Reply)
don't get jelly but i have a wristband for 10% off burritos

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:43, Reply)
*puts jelly back in the fridge*
I was really looking forward to that.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:48, Reply)
oh, go on then
you've been good
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:55, Reply)
*removes it from the fridge*
*wobbles it gently*
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:55, Reply)
Actually, now it's out of the fridge
I don't think I'm ready for it.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:04, Reply)
is it lime flavour?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:06, Reply)
there are other flavours?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:06, Reply)
there really only should be lime...
and none of those ones with bits in.

I'd give bacon flavour a go though.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:11, Reply)
you don't think you're ready for this jelly?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:11, Reply)
I don't think I can handle this
Whoo
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:16, Reply)
i got a slice of pizza, a piece of fried chicken and a bit of pie. all for free!
*maniacal laugh*
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:43, Reply)
LIES
I have it on reasonable authority that there is no such thing as a free lunch
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:51, Reply)
whoever said that never crashed a freshers fair

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:54, Reply)
foood

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:03, Reply)
Jellybeans!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:05, Reply)
trill

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:08, Reply)
as a tribute to momo

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:10, Reply)
is momo dead? :'(

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:13, Reply)
i hope not :(

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:19, Reply)
I expected him to out live giggly by years

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:26, Reply)
a poo

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:22, Reply)
ha ha not really

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:22, Reply)
i meant 'a shit'

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:23, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:23, Reply)
I'm having some beer
and eating sushi. And sitting on the floor of a airport hotel room, watching very overpriced porn on a massive telly.

And I'm just in my pants.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 14:43, Reply)
How about a nice game of chess?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:29, Reply)
pawn D4

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:30, Reply)
your move, black

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:30, Reply)
*launches nuke*

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:31, Reply)
Everyone is dead
who wins?
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:32, Reply)
WOPR

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:34, Reply)
knight becomes day

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:33, Reply)
Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:35, Reply)

........(░(¯`:´¯)░)
......(░(¯ `·.\|/.·´¯)░)
....(░(¯ `·.(█).·´¯)░░(¯`:´¯)░)
......(░(_.·´/|\`·._)(¯ `·.\|/.·´¯)░)
.........(░(_.:._).░(¯ `·.(█).·´¯)░)
██▀║██▀▄║██║██▀║██▄║█║██▀▄║██▀▀║
██▀║██▀▄║██║██▀║██║▀█║██║█║▀▀▀█║
██║░██║█║██║███║██║░█║███▀║████║
....(░(¯ `·.\|/.·´¯)░░(¯ `·.\|/.·´¯)░)
...(░(¯ `·.(█).·´¯)░(¯ `·.(█).·´¯)░)
....(░(_.·´/|\`·._)░░(_.·´/|\`·._)░)
██▀║▄█▀▄║██▀▄║██▀║██║█║██▀║██▀▄║
██▀║██║█║██▀▄║██▀║██║█║██▀║██▀▄║
██║░▀██▀║██║█║███║▀██▀║███║██║█║
....(░(¯ `·.\|/.·´¯)░░(¯ `·.\|/.·´¯)░)
...(░(¯ `·.(█).·´¯)░(¯ `·.(█).·´¯)░)
....(░(_.·´/|\`·._)░░(_.·´/|\`·._)░)
.......(░(_.:._)░)...(░░(_.:._)░)...
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:36, Reply)
Those are bumholes and not flowers, btw.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:38, Reply)
terrible bullying of bumless

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:41, Reply)
I did get written consent from him to use the image and caption though.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:42, Reply)
he needs his fantasy and freedom.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:47, Reply)
I can't
I lost my chess board in 'Nam
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:47, Reply)
nice guys finish last
Chess winners are spiteful sociopaths
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:48, Reply)
I was ejected from the school chess club
for making too much noise whilst losing.

I repeatedly fell for one of those "win in [x] moves" strategies, and was congratulating my opponent.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:00, Reply)
it's called Fool's Mate
and for good reason, fool.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:24, Reply)
I'm not sure I appreciate this bullying of my 7 year old self.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:47, Reply)
i'd rather play MONO!poly

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:49, Reply)
Yay! A "get out of bumhole free" card.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:55, Reply)
drawn from the pile of 'dead on its arse online community chest' cards

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:56, Reply)
or MEATSNAKEs and ladders?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:26, Reply)
YES!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:27, Reply)
nah you might take my porn with your horsie

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:27, Reply)
*something about bashing a bishop*

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:33, Reply)
Only if I get to be the queen

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:38, Reply)
Nah
Hungry Hippos or Pop Up Pirate.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:42, Reply)
I like a game with a sense of danger

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:46, Reply)
Ooo...ooo... Kerplunk and Mouse Trap!!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:46, Reply)
Mouse trap is a terrible game
It takes ages to get to the point where the trap is set, and then there's no guarantee it will a) work or b) trap a mouse. Rubbish.

Kerplunk's good though.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:49, Reply)
it's no 'ghost castle' that's for sure

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:50, Reply)
We play that from time to time
Yeah, it's good. My brother got the updated version of Mysteries of Old Peking. It's basically the same but a bit more PC. There's no "Ah-So" or "Me Rikee Velly Much" and all that.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:53, Reply)
I used to like crossfire....
The idea of giving kids guns which fired metal ball bearings was excellent.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:57, Reply)
i think i'd still like playing ghost castle, and crossbows and catapults too

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 12:58, Reply)
Crossbows and catapults was brilliant!!
Loved it as a kid, wish they still made it.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:00, Reply)
I had the trojan horse, never got the cyclops though :(

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 13:01, Reply)
wow whitechapels a shit hole
Nothing like a morning of being poked and prodded in the royal london.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:47, Reply)
Haha, yeah, That London, THT LDN, TLN!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:49, Reply)
lols
Rofl lmao.....wtf?
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:22, Reply)
Are you an ambulance yet?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:49, Reply)
nah not yet. awaiting my formal interview date
Hows tricks?
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:16, Reply)
good thanks, just getting ready to head to Brighton for the band audition thing, then got a party there this evening, off to snowdonia for the weekend
cave trampolining and 1 mile zipline, then the stag do in slovakia next week, so all in all, tricks are pretty decent :D
Your fine self?
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:26, Reply)
awesome that sounds fucking banging.
Fuck all. Looking after the crazies and had my cousin over from oz for the first time in 14 years so all fun and games.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:50, Reply)
If it's good enough for the Ripper, it's good enough for you

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:51, Reply)
yeah but he didnt have a 50 min fucking delay for his appointment!!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:16, Reply)
My favourite restaurant is 2mins walk from there
If you're around for lunch you should go there, it's cheap and absolutely excellent grub.

www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g186338-d2298000-Reviews-Needoo_Grill-London_England.html
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:52, Reply)
i might just have a butchers beefy
Although a whole goat for 60 quid just outside whitechapel station is tempting.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:17, Reply)
the best dish is the appetisingly named 'dry meat'

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:19, Reply)
haha dry meat
Appetising
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:22, Reply)
I prefer moist meat.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:55, Reply)
I won't let the doctors get anywhere near my Royal London.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:54, Reply)
you've never lived then!!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:21, Reply)
Ooh,
matron!
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:34, Reply)
I'm heading to a meeting that's practically in hoxton
:(
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:55, Reply)
lovely area down there.
Some excellent grub houses
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:17, Reply)
gutted

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:25, Reply)
might get an asymmetric beard trim and buy a penny farthing bicycle

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:42, Reply)
^gay sex tourist

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:02, Reply)
and i dont have to pay for itm
The nhs does ;)
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:18, Reply)
\0/

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:19, Reply)
When I get tired one of the muscles that control my left eyelid (left as I look through it) spasms.
It makes it look like I'm really trying hard to give people an approving wink, but just not quite getting there.

What tedious shit makes you look like a fucking greebo?
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:03, Reply)
When I hit a pinched harmonic on a guitar (aka Squeely) it makes my left eye twitch too.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:07, Reply)
so at gigs or in front of people when you hit the squeelies you wink at your audience?
nice
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:09, Reply)
untill people realise it's involuntary, then they laugh.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:12, Reply)
what bullying!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:22, Reply)
I've been told that when I do that I look as if I'm in pain

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:11, Reply)
And when I'm just noodling I look like I'm talking to myself

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:11, Reply)
I always appear to be frowning when I'm playing

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:14, Reply)
probably am when I'm not playing and all

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:14, Reply)
FOLK RAGE

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:15, Reply)
it's a better look than the guitargasm

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:16, Reply)
I'm folking furious
haha get it, sounds a bit like a swear!
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:16, Reply)
Those motherfolkers can all go folk themselves!
haha, swearing
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:18, Reply)
alright don't take it too far

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:19, Reply)
soz
Have you heard of/encoutered an irish folk outfit called Feckless?
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:21, Reply)
I have not
do you think I should?
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:25, Reply)
You might like them, who knows
It's just that I'm related to one of the members, and I wondered if you'd crossed paths.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:26, Reply)
we don't really cross paths with anyone, on account of never leaving our shed

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:32, Reply)
are you sure we're not in the same folk duo?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:41, Reply)
were you recording in a shed with me last night?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:45, Reply)
no, I was helping my friend learn her bass guitar.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:47, Reply)
the coincidences keep on coming - I recorded a bass guitar part last night

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:49, Reply)
I'm somewhere between disinterest and abject terror
I'm kidding, I'm just imagining a cat trying to do a plop in a real human toilet, lol.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:51, Reply)
In an old acoustic covers duo we used to do a jazz funk cover of rage against the machine
with a slide solo and ending in Funk you I won't do what you tell me.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:47, Reply)
that sounds awful no offence

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:50, Reply)
but you can't hear it

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:59, Reply)
it sounds as though you think there is only the one definition of this word

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:02, Reply)
that's definitley not how it goes, I told you, Funk you I won't do what you tell me

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:29, Reply)
are you deaf or something?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:29, Reply)
I think I probably look quite depressed too...
there is a video of me playing a shitter version of Atomic Kitten's Whole Again somewhere for comparison...
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:16, Reply)
gotta love the guitar gurn, haha

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:15, Reply)
Carlos Santana has the best guitar face ever, I reckon

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:22, Reply)
That's true

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:23, Reply)
and when you're doing anything else you look like a mad hobo

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:27, Reply)
the gummits tryin ta steal ma thoughts!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:32, Reply)
I've noticed that my friendly smile
actually looks like a 'I'm sorry for your loss' smile.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:07, Reply)
I get occasional eye twitch too.
It's annoying as all hell.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:08, Reply)
you could strap our faces to the aft of boats as winky outboard motors.
(you couldn't, we'd just drown)
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:15, Reply)
a winky outboard motor sounds like an entirely different thing

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:28, Reply)
I used to have a compulsion to repeatedly nod my head and clench my jaw,
which made me look like a fucking lunatic.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:20, Reply)
haha, you nut job

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:25, Reply)
I've an urge to start doing it again, now,
but will content myself with turning my head quickly to the side, so that my neck makes a satisfying, crunching sound.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:46, Reply)
apparently I always look angry
but it's actually hate and contempt for humanity.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:10, Reply)
whatever Grinny

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:17, Reply)
my face always betrays my inner thoughts
and my inner thoughts aren't nice
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:12, Reply)
The "I'm better than all of you" facial tattoo probably doesn't help

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:14, Reply)
don't question my individuality, man

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:15, Reply)
You're a beautiful snowflake

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:17, Reply)
but I'm melting :(

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:19, Reply)
What a world...

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:22, Reply)
the world would be a very boring place if we all looked like a fucking greebo in the same way, diversity is a wonderful thing

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:25, Reply)
I want to see this on one of those inpirational posters
Maybe with a picture of Wayne Rooney on it or summat
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:36, Reply)

postimg.org/image/8f51qaqtv/
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:43, Reply)
Ah, lovely

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:50, Reply)
HA!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:51, Reply)
i'm distractingly handsome

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:29, Reply)

ndsome iry
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:32, Reply)
they're not mutually exclusive, tangles

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:53, Reply)
sorry what did you say? I missed it as I was thinking about your face.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:37, Reply)
it's ok, i keep having the same problem with YOUR face

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:53, Reply)
my face

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:33, Reply)
lol poor self image

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:37, Reply)
haha yeah we do laugh

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:43, Reply)
roflface :(

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:48, Reply)
do you have a big moon face, moon girl?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:38, Reply)
I'll take that as a 'yes'

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 11:03, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 7:45, Reply)
i don't care what shape, form or sex love comes in, as long as it's love

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 7:49, Reply)
meaty

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 7:50, Reply)
i know right? i woke up needing a piss in what i thought was the middle of the night and i would therefore get a couple more hours of sleep, and discovered it was actually 2 minutes before my alarm went off. a bit shit that.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 7:53, Reply)
2000 years ago
another man woke up needing a piss in what he thought was the middle of the night and would therefore get a couple more hours of sleep, and discovered it was actually 2 minutes before his alarm went off.

His name? You might have heard of him. That's right friend, it was Lenny Henry.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:50, Reply)
to be fair he had probably enjoyed a luxurious nights rest in his £29 premier inn hotel room

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:02, Reply)
He's a big fat coon.
#justsayin
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:06, Reply)
sounds like *someone's* a bit jelly

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:07, Reply)
2000 years ago, someone else was 'a bit jelly'.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:08, Reply)
you might have heard of him
his name was Lucifer, the morning star!!!
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:10, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:11, Reply)

morning
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:15, Reply)
woah
early morning deep truths, right here on b3ta dot com forward slash talk
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 7:58, Reply)
hey it's doesn't hurt to think about nice things every now and then

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:03, Reply)
this guy gets it

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:14, Reply)
I love you guys


not in a gay way
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:20, Reply)
I hate all of you in a gay way
she is such a bitch
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:27, Reply)
it's a bit in a gay way though, isn't it

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:40, Reply)
It sure is

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:41, Reply)
I erm...I, ahem, don't know what you mean Manolith

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:47, Reply)
it's ok, this is a place of acceptance... temporarily

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:55, Reply)
I embrace these new, albeit temporary changes.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:59, Reply)
the thread that is, not the er, gay thing

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:02, Reply)
do it, man. embrace a gay!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:04, Reply)
Well I am off to Brighton later for an audition for a functions band
probably be a few there
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:19, Reply)
good luck Gloves...
I miss all that, my studio is just a pile of kids toys nowadays
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:20, Reply)
Cheers :D
it's an extra £13,500 a year if I get it, so fingers crossed
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:24, Reply)
wowee
g'luck g'loves
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:32, Reply)
Thank you M-Dawg, I'm a tiny bit nervous as it's been a while since I did a proper band type audition

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:48, Reply)
set your instrument on fire and then strum it with your teeth
and by 'instrument' i obviously mean penis
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:01, Reply)
Is there any other way to get through an audition?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:06, Reply)
if there is, i don't wanna know about it

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:10, Reply)
This is beautiful
More of this please, from everyone,
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:01, Reply)
it's easy to be negative about everything, but not nearly as rewarding

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:04, Reply)
I agree

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:05, Reply)
#LoveSnakeisalittleplacewheremeatcangettogether
MEATSNAKE for mod
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:19, Reply)
i don't care what shape, form or sex glovington comes in, as long as it's glovington

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:25, Reply)
aaw shucks meaty, you're the best

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:48, Reply)
Is it love you're after?
Or just a good time?
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:05, Reply)
Man, I had a bad nights sleep
Let's hope I can be my usual effervescent self
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 7:50, Reply)
picture yourself made of alka seltzer and berocca tablets and you can't go wrong

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 7:58, Reply)
Mmmm
fizzy
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:00, Reply)
Oh, and last nights dream was General Mishaps While Cleaning Out A Fish Tank
*sigh*
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:00, Reply)
sounds like a short film or a sitcom pilot

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:15, Reply)
It does
QUICK, TO E4!
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:15, Reply)
Also, I might be scoring a wii u and a certain racing game tomorrow....
But don't tell anyone
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:16, Reply)

?!?!?!?
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:38, Reply)
Quite

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:53, Reply)
those cunt squirrels have picked all my hazelnuts again
they won't remember where they've buried them either. Shitheads.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:09, Reply)
clearly the only sane thing to do now is dig up the whole garden
and get back your hard-earned hazelnuts
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:13, Reply)
I'm off to HSS for their biggest Rotavator
Or I could just wait until next year and pull up another hundred little hazel saplings. Again. I swear if it wasn't for that hilarious chasing thing they do when they're horny, I'd trap the fuckers and skin them alive.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:16, Reply)
is it palindrome day again?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:26, Reply)
non

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:30, Reply)
huh

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:39, Reply)
yay

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:48, Reply)
kcirpprick

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:54, Reply)
fuck off dozers srezod ffo kcuf

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:03, Reply)
cobnuts you Ponce

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:28, Reply)
cobnuts are French nuts introduced to Kent by aristocrats
these are proper indigenous English hazel nuts

you ponce
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:31, Reply)
guys, guys...
maybe you're both right
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:41, Reply)
you prolly eat filberts
Just sayin
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:50, Reply)
alrizzle me nizzle

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:19, Reply)
rock on dozers

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:38, Reply)
fizzle off dizzle

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:50, Reply)
prizzle

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:55, Reply)
2000 years ago another man dared to say 'morning', just as you have today.
You may have heard of him.

That's right, friend. His name was Jesus.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:27, Reply)
I assumed you meant Augustus Caesar
Boy is my face red
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:28, Reply)
Uh, heLLO?
He died in August AD14 - 2000 years ago he wasn't saying anything at all, friend.

Unlike our lord Jesus, who is always saying something - in our hearts.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:35, Reply)
I thought we were approximating
I apologise for any inconvenience caused and to anyone offended by this hideous and embarrassing oversight
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:37, Reply)
I forgive you, friend.
2000 years ago another man dared to forgive OH FUCK THIS I CANNOT BE ARSED WITH IT
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:40, Reply)
2000 years ago, another man could not be arsed with it

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:43, Reply)
his name was Judas

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:44, Reply)
I heard Jesus ASKED Judas to betray him, to kickstart his whole campaign

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:51, Reply)
That's not actually true.
He ARKSKED him.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:53, Reply)
the earliest known kickstarter
even though billions of dollars of backers money has been given to the cause. still no results
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:54, Reply)
Thats cos they don't use dollars in babylon silly

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:57, Reply)
#freedom4barabbas

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:29, Reply)
fucking wetbacks

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:35, Reply)
hey, this is a hostility-free morning thread

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:40, Reply)
no hostility intended
I'm just saying that if I see any Hispanic types on my ranch I will shoot them dead.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:04, Reply)
Muthafuckas act like they forgot about J

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:35, Reply)
that creep can roll, man

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:39, Reply)
8 year olds, dude

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:44, Reply)
i cut my knee open playing football last night
i bandaged it up but it slipped off in the night and now there is blood on my sheets :(
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:37, Reply)
:(
#prayfordoveston #threesheetstothewind #bloodclart
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:42, Reply)

#nocleansheet
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:52, Reply)
#sheetyourpants

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:02, Reply)
This is quite possibly the best morning thread ever

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:44, Reply)
It was until YOU posted

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:45, Reply)
no, horro
he's been sent here to test our commitment to the thread. we must embrace him (not literally of course, he seems like he'd be a bit sticky)
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:48, Reply)
*strains*
good... morning, spanishfly. h-how are you?
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:49, Reply)
hello hope you are well

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:06, Reply)
I'm not really enjoying it, all that much.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:14, Reply)
what can we do to improve your morning thread experience?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:33, Reply)
It's enough to know that you're there for me, manolith.

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:17, Reply)
word up, bishes

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:52, Reply)
yo yo sentiscouse

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:54, Reply)
morning sorry I'm late phew that traffic eh

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:54, Reply)
yeah, it's backed up all the way down to main street

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:56, Reply)
but main street's still all cracked and broken
sorry mum, the mob has spoken
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:09, Reply)
i only found out the other day that conan o'brien wrote that episode

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:44, Reply)
hiya

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:57, Reply)
yeah!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 8:58, Reply)
good morning, MONO!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:00, Reply)
how are you?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:03, Reply)
pretty good today, actually
you?
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:05, Reply)
I upset the ball and chain last night.
Today is not a good day.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:08, Reply)
uh oh
have you made amends yet?
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:45, Reply)
nope

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 10:10, Reply)
hangover subsiding due to pies... so morning all!!

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:09, Reply)
well played, bumhat

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 9:45, Reply)
It's too early
and I'm hanging... sad face.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 5:53, Reply)
you're doing it wrong

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 7:45, Reply)
the YES and the NOs
have it
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 3:44, Reply)
eveninh

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 0:31, Reply)
morninh

(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 0:57, Reply)
brown is supposed to come out of your bum not your mouth
hth
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 1:12, Reply)
Your bum isn't supposed to cough though
it's possible I may have that wrong, I am not a doctor.
(, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 1:53, Reply)

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