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willenium is a gay spazz who loves it up the bum-bum from other gay spazzes.
Discuss.
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 20:16, Reply)
The big yellow thing is baring down on you, and it's genirals look fucked up, point to your left weapon, right shield
m.imgur.com/a/AHdhQ
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 20:41, Reply)
Geniral watts.

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 20:51, Reply)
bass guitar, cordless phone

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 21:51, Reply)
Enjoy your machine sex

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 21:53, Reply)
a refreshing SoCo & lime and a pack of peanuts

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 22:14, Reply)
Southern Comfort is for benders
and calling it "SoCo" is for double-benders.
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 23:55, Reply)
Name some funny foods:
Rob's been on twitter, trying to tweet in his sleep: https://twitter.com/robmanuel/status/868452822425022464

"I'd asked you lot to name intrinsically funny food. Great replies."

So in the style of Dr Seusss:

Rob awoke with a lurch,
"This food which expands my girth, does nothing for my mirth!"
The ginger fuhrer didn't dawdle
he belmed away to twitland with a wobble

Twits you see a like a bird, but they move in herds
All they long they tweet and twat
sharing pictures of cats (and right wing fogs, but less of that)

in person he gave his missive
name a funny food and don't be dismissive
At once the twits were all a twitter
tweeting and twerping, bleeting and burping

Soups of the north would be a start but the twits had taken to heart:
lol twiglets, but rectally
how about a soggy ha'penny?
Creamy white finishing sauce (pwhor, of course!)
and for the determined dole-malingerer,
some heavily discounted fish fingers

Just add water toast and jam
deep fried cake and diet spam
spotted dick and penny licks
loganberry custard for posh pricks

panackelty
Buttered toad all soft and melt-y
Eamon Holmes shaped licorice toffee
(all this before the nuts and coffee)

Dear Fuhrer's face turned green
six beer battered wall's ice-cream
"tell me something far less greasy"
smashed avvo creams, take it easy.

Rob stormed off in a huff
he'd quite simply had enough.

the twits of tweetland twitter merrily
but they are quite unhelpful generally.

I don't wish to seem rude, I cannot agree with you on food
hashtag I'm going now, I shan't hold out for better
Don't be alarmed it's all going in the next newsletter.
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 15:37, Reply)
Blimey and I thought my thread was shit and too blog

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 15:40, Reply)
I win at being shit and too long
give me my fucking medal
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 15:42, Reply)
Best Simon & Garfunkle album
Alt: Best Paul Simon album
Altalt: Dogshit on the soles of her shoes
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 16:30, Reply)
ok, great

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 16:34, Reply)
you want the terrorists to win

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 16:37, Reply)
don't worry, they lost the dice

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 16:38, Reply)
Hoover the place. Hear a rattle and you've found it or are tuppence richer.

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 16:45, Reply)
i sweep
like a filthy luddite
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 17:06, Reply)
Get you, with your fucking luxury carpets, with a pile so thick that a dropped coin just disappears into it

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 17:07, Reply)
Its more that I don't get henry out until the carpet's crunchy.

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 17:26, Reply)
depends on how many crisps you eat

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 17:41, Reply)
Dried spunk?

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 17:46, Reply)
Wrong room.

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 18:59, Reply)
did you do the sensible thing and scotchgard your sex dungeon?

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 19:33, Reply)
Nah, just usually do wanks in bed

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 19:36, Reply)
good choice

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 19:45, Reply)
I'm actively upset by whatever the fuck this is.

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 17:46, Reply)
portmanteau edibles

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 17:47, Reply)
It'll never catch on.
I hope.
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 17:51, Reply)
nyommy cakon, doubleplus fatties

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 18:07, Reply)
Horrible food addict enabling propaganda

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 19:16, Reply)
That's nice dear

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 17:59, Reply)
Oh. Well. This is just awful.

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 18:08, Reply)
I should of posted on OT where no one would of seen it

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 19:17, Reply)
#williammcgonagall

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 18:55, Reply)
Been a good match this.

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 19:25, Reply)
Please be very quiet as if you were dead.

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 20:02, Reply)
South east london, so pretty
imgur.com/a/xn2Sy
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 14:10, Reply)
And I'm now sitting outside a pub watching the Thames in the sun in a hidden little juicer only locals know, life is sweet

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 14:32, Reply)
ugh
grim
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 14:50, Reply)
It's a safety device, shoe some respect

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 14:52, Reply)
I'm letting the lawn to settle and have gone pub covered in grass clippings.
i.imgur.com/XyJG1WO.jpg

The bearings in my strimmer are practically dry.
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 14:54, Reply)
Let it settle , and and grease on bearings is better than wd

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 14:57, Reply)
I know but it's sealed as it's a cheapo b&q job. I gave it the last breath of a can of 3 in one.
Thing runs at about half-revs with the bottom pole on.
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 15:00, Reply)
Ooh, shiny

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 15:01, Reply)
i disagree quite strongly

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 15:02, Reply)
You've clearly never been

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 15:35, Reply)
many times
i dislike london
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 15:36, Reply)
I'd bet a million you've never been here

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 15:39, Reply)
most likely not
but i've only ever been to london once that wasn't for a hospital visit or surgery, so i've taken a dislike to the place. also, nobody seems to make eye contact, it's weird!
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 15:46, Reply)
i've been there loads of times,
it's hot and crowded and smells of rotten cabbages.
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 16:32, Reply)
i thought that was just the tube

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 16:39, Reply)
You've never been to me

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 16:41, Reply)
the guy on the quayside looks content

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 15:12, Reply)
Not even fishing, just chilling

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 15:15, Reply)
I had some kippers on toast for breakfast, I can still taste them when I burp.

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 15:23, Reply)
There's a seafood stall here, I'll get some when I leave

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 15:25, Reply)
The city that plays home to parliament gets proper flood defences, the provinces can get stuffed.

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 15:37, Reply)
typical chelsea supporter

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 16:20, Reply)
Morning thread, morning thread
get your morning thread here...
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 7:07, Reply)
It is what it is.
Happy long weekend.
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 7:18, Reply)
Yes, there are BBQs the length and breadth of the country
being dusted off to both undercook and burn sausages at the same time, after the rain stops.
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 7:30, Reply)
I don't think my barbecue grill has been cleaned since I last used it.
Probably pretty grim. Fuck this rain, though, I've got grass to cut.
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 8:38, Reply)
I've lown my mawn already
it's not won me much appreciation from the other half as the bedroom window was open.
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 8:41, Reply)
I'd have gone out and some mime early, but
a) I couldn't be arsed
and
b) someone had to finish off those pancakes I'd made.
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 8:54, Reply)
Alright, marcel marceau

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 10:13, Reply)


(, Sat 27 May 2017, 11:17, Reply)
Chucking it down here , good fishing weather but my son's got a party at 2

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 8:44, Reply)
Kids + wellies + puddles
= happy (to the power of mud)

Edit: I think I owe you an apology, it's not that hard to lose weight.

I've ditched a couple of KGs over the past few weeks by not snacking on biscuits at work and sticking to meals. The process did remind me of giving up smoking though - had to stop ALL snacking at work, having the "odd one as a treat" doesn't work.
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 8:47, Reply)
Well done, gari.
Celebrate your achievement with a bucket of ice-cream.
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 8:55, Reply)
I've found cocaine is much more fun
and very slimming
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 9:02, Reply)
He's 12 and going go karting

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 9:07, Reply)
Ah, well past the Peppa Pig stage then...
Sounds like a hoot though. Hope it clears up by then, maybe you can ask the gokarting people to take the slicks off and put rain tyres on?
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 9:09, Reply)
I'm gonna to see if I can hire one and race too, that'll show the gobby little sods

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 9:11, Reply)
Now, Kids, I'm going to introduce you to the concept of MOMENTUM
You may have velocity, but I have MASS.
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 9:18, Reply)
That and over 20 years driving experience should see me get the trophy

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 9:26, Reply)
the winner is usually the lightest person who manages to not crash

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 13:41, Reply)
I just bought a beer and the barmaid asked if I was driving, ffs

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 13:48, Reply)
"only an Espace-full of kids, not the go-karts...
so set 'em up and give me a chaser!"
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 13:50, Reply)
My mum's got 40 year driving experience
but I'd only put money on her in the dodgems...
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 13:49, Reply)
"you know Bowser?"

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 10:26, Reply)
This is life
touch my terrapin
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 8:59, Reply)
It's your life
It's now or never,
Don't you wish your name was Trevor?
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 9:03, Reply)
Wash your hands after they carry salmonella

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 9:08, Reply)
*parp*

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 9:43, Reply)
No thanks, they smell a bit off

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 9:45, Reply)
good morning.
Nice cup of tea time
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 10:10, Reply)
Might get the old petrol strimmer out and do the grass.

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 10:27, Reply)
I've got some old petrol
gaz me and you can have some

(actually, not joking, found a can at the back of the shed that must have been hidden for at least 5 years, was full of petrol, about 1/4 has evaporated - you're welcome to a cupful)
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 13:48, Reply)
My old housemate tipped jellied petrol out of his fucked gsxr 600 onto the bonfire we were starting. Still burned.

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 15:33, Reply)
yeah

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 11:16, Reply)
an attack is highly likely, not imminently expected

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 12:25, Reply)
Ramadan now, normally kicks off abroad not here

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 13:03, Reply)
Seems to get earlier, every year.

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 13:42, Reply)
Fasting started at 3am , might help the addicted

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 13:45, Reply)
It's basically the Brian Butterfield diet

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 13:47, Reply)
you can rest assured that they are taking the issue of any toothpaste not in a clear plastic bag *very* seriously at Birmingham airport

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 13:53, Reply)
Looking at the front page now
it looks like b3ta has been over run with socialist weasels.
(, Sat 27 May 2017, 13:50, Reply)
don't worry they'll all be rounded up and shot once mrs may has swept to victory

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 13:56, Reply)
Shootings to gud 4 us

(, Sat 27 May 2017, 14:10, Reply)
I'm not doing reddite speech, but I'm surprised ' having egg on your face' is a new phrase, I assumed it was from rotten eggs in the stocks
I'm open for knowledge, fill me up ? Pls k thx bai
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:05, Reply)
Is it not Victorian euphemism for spunk?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:07, Reply)
It would be better , only famous because some yank used it

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:10, Reply)
No references to the phrase before the 50s apparently

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:11, Reply)
According to google ngrams 'wrister' and 'speng' are oldspeak.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:14, Reply)
It reckons 'poof' peaked in the 90's but it seems more 70's to me.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:15, Reply)

books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=Poof&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2CPoof%3B%2Cc0
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:16, Reply)
Nah gay was enough by then, poof being spoken broke boundaries in TV

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:17, Reply)
Alan Clarke managed to use it enough in his gritty dramas.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:34, Reply)
TV was different tho, till death opened up poof, and now nobody really uses the term
P
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:38, Reply)
Alan Clarke was for telly though. Think he came after that though.
What with Scum and Made in Britain - 70's, 80's fringe wasn't it?
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 23:08, Reply)
Gay scene started, they were poofs and proud, then aids took the gloss off

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 23:17, Reply)
Odd eh, i wonder if MC stormzy ' back up dancer' will be the dis it currently is, eh egg

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:15, Reply)
Possible 1941 citation
www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-egg2.htm
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:17, Reply)
The dog thing is tenuous, and I hate dogs

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:20, Reply)
I wanted new stuff really, I didn't post this before looking at the history of the phrase , I've sent you down rabbits hols, fucking Jews

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:29, Reply)
I learnt something, once.
I didn't like it.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 23:19, Reply)
Katy Perry's lesser-knownzzz

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 23:45, Reply)
This manufactured furore about the wonder woman film has got me thinking.
I reckon Blaxploitation did social justice - including strong female role models, costumes that clung, soundtracks and 'genuinely being entertaining' much better than all this DC/Marvel film stuff.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 23:49, Reply)
hiya, can someone bring me up to speed on what i've missed thx
spanishfly still a prick etc.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:02, Reply)
A hundred people from 14 years ago came back to /board for all of one thread and then fucked off again

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:07, Reply)
I don't blame them, I'm not even sure how your crap is on the fp, no offence

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:18, Reply)
Oh, I totally agree.
But any old shit gets on there now, just so long as somebody might "retweet" it.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:32, Reply)
You've done wonderful drawing, then that gets on the fp, odd mods

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:37, Reply)
Thanks hun

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:59, Reply)
You mean I missed loads of nobodies doing nothing of any importance other than using the
Tools in photoshop that they teach you ok the first year of a digital graphics course at an FE college that used to be a polytechnic that used to be a librabry that started life as a swimming pool?


Those guys have skills upon skills.

You used to post a lot on board didn't you?

Did you get tired of them copying your unique style?

I thought most of /board died of cancer in 2006 when Dozer arrived.

You know what I really really like about the people that post on /board? Fuck all.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:48, Reply)
that's nice spanishfly, please tell me more

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:22, Reply)
meds o'clock

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:59, Reply)
"The green ones stop me from touching myself."

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 21:01, Reply)
Poor old spanf and his mentally ill monobrow :'(

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:01, Reply)
Katie Hopkins was hired as the new /talk mod

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:10, Reply)
My surname is hopkins
Trufax
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:44, Reply)
I have also come home from London to be asked to attend a police station for harassment allegations.
And to find my Audi with all its windows put through.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:45, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:02, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:05, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:24, Reply)
heehee

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:54, Reply)
4 Eva in our hearts.
twitter.com/KTHopkins/status/867736747278520320

I can't wait for her article on why the meek only have themselves to blame.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:50, Reply)
It pays her bills doing this stuff

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:21, Reply)
If I complained too much about people being paid for being self righteous on the internet I might get called a hypocrite.
Thoughts on this?

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/may/25/george-cheese-bullied-mechanic-killed-himself-audi-garage-not-to-blame-coroner

Seems a bit more than workie hazing to me.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:41, Reply)
It does seem rough, but coroner's are really good at this sort of stuff

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 21:10, Reply)
Well it's their job.
They were tried for something specific, if it was an industrial tribunal their heads would've rolled.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 21:18, Reply)
Indeed, he could have said you lot are cunts I'm reporting you, he didn't he had different issues

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 21:32, Reply)
Is there a garage equivalent of the "On The Tools" facebook thing, if so you can probably view most of teh epic lad bantz there

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 21:22, Reply)
Oh god, I don't know.
I imagine soon the logical conclusion is cars will be so modular and computerised they'll drive themselves back to the track to be repaired and you'll get an identical stand in.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 21:30, Reply)
Repaired by robots too, all of us are gonna have to retrain as aromatherapists, Shoreditch cereal cafe managers or some other utter shit which nobody built a machine for because it wouldn't be worth the effort

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 21:38, Reply)
Human labour is cheaper , loads of us, and it's how it should be, we can't make a billion people skint

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 21:47, Reply)
Leccy cars are much more modular though.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 21:48, Reply)
I don't know that stuff, but I was for years on building sites , it's a tough life

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 21:34, Reply)
It's certainly difficult.
Sounds like he was a bit mentally ill and volatile - exactly what bullies will capitalise on and then you've got them going too far and everyone else who thinks it's shit turning a blind eye.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 21:48, Reply)
tangles died

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:16, Reply)
She was too pretty to live forever

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:19, Reply)
Hiya doves , so much , great stuff, the best stuff,

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:16, Reply)
tremendous

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:22, Reply)
Hello the doveston

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:30, Reply)
hi two hats
my company is moving out of ltp so i had my last day there this week
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:23, Reply)
Ships in the night

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:24, Reply)
i'll miss mike at the front desk in 6000 who always gave me a hard time with parking permits

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:26, Reply)
Mike with the arm?
Yeah, he's a prick
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 21:36, Reply)
The thread will be torn

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 21:40, Reply)
Alright doveston

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:31, Reply)
hi i don't recognise your name
lot of love, doves xx
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:25, Reply)
Alright dribble

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:44, Reply)
Oh yeah I am still a cunt

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:45, Reply)
Oh, loads. And it was all really funny. Like

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:06, Reply)
hoo boy, i can't imagine the japes i've missed

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:24, Reply)
It's been about 7 years
Since my last meltdown.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:26, Reply)
do one now plz

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:27, Reply)
I can't.
I've got a kid and mortgage and stuff now. I'm not just a better person, I'm better than you. So you do one nobber!

Hi. You're pretty.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:29, Reply)
lol kid and a mortgage, nice one grandad

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:31, Reply)
Sorry
I got hacked lol
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:39, Reply)
Prickery and wankery

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:31, Reply)
good stuff

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 20:32, Reply)
live together in perfect harmony

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 22:14, Reply)
£8 for 2 cans of grolsch on the pendalino from London to Liverpool.
And all the air con has failed on the train...apart from the coach I am in. Winner.

Go fuck yourself four eyes
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:52, Reply)

i.imgur.com/utTQjU4.gifv
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 16:02, Reply)
Alright dribble

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 16:08, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 16:09, Reply)

giant.gfycat.com/InsistentPerkyGilamonster.gif
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 16:04, Reply)
Alright dribble

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 16:08, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 16:16, Reply)

www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/gallery/no/John-Krasinski.gif
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 16:09, Reply)
Alright dribble

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 17:13, Reply)
alright

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 17:18, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 18:20, Reply)
Sounds sweaty

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 16:45, Reply)
alright Will

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 17:01, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 17:35, Reply)
Alright dribble

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 18:41, Reply)
Sux 2 b u lol

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 18:05, Reply)
That's what your mum said...no...hang on...

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 18:42, Reply)
well done! you have given us great insight into your knowledge of popular music. now pick your score.
www.bbc.com/news/magazine-40046652
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:23, Reply)
lol 0/7

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:25, Reply)
Nah

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:27, Reply)
3
I confidently predict that this score will be unbeaten.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:29, Reply)
I'm not allowed to partake in news quizzes
soz
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:29, Reply)
native american?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:40, Reply)
Jewish American

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:45, Reply)
ah ok

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:21, Reply)
2
Fackin pussy
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:30, Reply)
7/7

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:31, Reply)
6/7
yeah, boyeee
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:35, Reply)
Four

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:57, Reply)
^

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 17:18, Reply)
4/7
i did guess a couple, though
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:58, Reply)
9/11

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:58, Reply)
SoCo and lime

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:01, Reply)
oh, now you're talking

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:02, Reply)
dr pepper and soco for me pls

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:03, Reply)
Has anyone ever referred to it as "SoCo" in real life?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:25, Reply)
only briefly

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:27, Reply)
They all do in Mexico


They call it SoCo, down in Acapulco
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:29, Reply)
jesus

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:29, Reply)
or as they pronounce it down there "Hey, Zeus"

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:30, Reply)
he'

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:30, Reply)
It's pronounced 'Hzhezhoos'

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:30, Reply)
You look Puerto Rican, to me.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:49, Reply)
^mister good samaritan

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:59, Reply)
you're going the right way for a smacked bottom
specially for the damned earworm
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:30, Reply)
It's a fucking terrible record eh
The internet tells me that it was written and produced by Phil Collins, which explains a lot.

Four Tops? FOUR BOTTOMS more like!
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:32, Reply)
gay

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:33, Reply)
so gay

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:36, Reply)
and lime

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:37, Reply)
Disaronno on the cocks

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:39, Reply)
radio city has a habit of playing it in hot weather
which is why i've got my headphones on listening to down with the sickness
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:34, Reply)
I don't know that one I'm afraid

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:35, Reply)
very shouty song by disturbed
one of my favourites and the reason my neighbours dread me doing housework
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:38, Reply)
I'm telling you, you won't like it.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:39, Reply)
I'll take your word for it pal

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:50, Reply)
switched to iron maiden now anyway

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:53, Reply)
jam troniks another day in paradise was popular , my mate luke used to do some great mixes with it

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:40, Reply)
I'll not hear a bad word said about the stuff they did with The Supremes as the Magnificent 7.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 17:15, Reply)
3/7 by not reading the questions
How are all you Fuckwits? I have a doppelgänger it appears.

You fucking sad wanker
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:39, Reply)
^upset

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:42, Reply)
Exceptionally
Some sad wanker created an account to pretend to be me.

Imitation is the best form of flattery.

And the lowest form of originality.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:44, Reply)
there's a smash monkey 2
but that's me when i'm at home. nobody wants to copy me :'(
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:46, Reply)
I tried to create an account called Modolith.
And Cocknose monolith threatened to step me.

I hope you and dribble2 are enjoying Fucksocks. At least there will be some originality
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:45, Reply)
Cheers

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:46, Reply)
what's the link between you and drimble?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:49, Reply)
sexual

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:50, Reply)
ah yeah, of course

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:50, Reply)
Young master spaniel here has convinced himself that they are the same person

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:51, Reply)
^l33t haxx0r

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:52, Reply)
true

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:55, Reply)
oh i know that
i just don't really get why
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:57, Reply)
It's rather odd

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:57, Reply)
No no. I have never ever said that

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:57, Reply)
I am 99% certain you have, m8

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 16:03, Reply)
1%

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 18:49, Reply)
ha, i was about to out you as doing the exact thing that you just labelled 'sad wanker' behaviour
but then you went and did it for me. thanks
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:47, Reply)
and i think it was actually called 'mandolith'. unless you did it again

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:48, Reply)
nah, that was me

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:49, Reply)
woah
how did you know to use the same password as spanishfly's account? u r an l33t haxx0r
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:50, Reply)
I'm kinda a big deal on the hacking scene
or haxx0r as we call it
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:51, Reply)
can confirm: am h4xx0r

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:52, Reply)
Nah you aren't that memorable.
That I could be arsed doing it again.

Threaten stepping of some. Allow others to do exactly th same. It's those kind of qualities that make you the middle of the road mod we have all come to love and regard with upmost respect.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:51, Reply)
utmost

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:53, Reply)
Fuck off

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:58, Reply)
How do you know he's not threatened fucksock

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:54, Reply)
i can tell you now that i haven't
but then i never threatened spanner for his mandolith account either. i just banned it before it became active and put a message about sock puppets in the 'reason' bit. the fucksocks account is using a name that spanner hasn't used for years and isn't being used for anything malicious so it can stay
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:59, Reply)
You're a monster.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 16:08, Reply)
i've got to be stopped

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 16:10, Reply)
Oh yeah you banhammered me for posting things all you tech savvy wizards didn't understand
I remember now
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 19:50, Reply)
tits m8

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:41, Reply)
tits out of 7?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:51, Reply)
yer

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:53, Reply)
No

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:54, Reply)
maybe

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:55, Reply)
I don't know

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:56, Reply)
can you repeat the question?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:59, Reply)
foot wank

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 16:00, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 16:04, Reply)
Oh best albums...
Infest
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:42, Reply)

Infest bamalam
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:53, Reply)
"We set the guy we knew was mentally ill on fire and put him in a cage... but we never went too far."
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/may/25/george-cheese-bullied-mechanic-killed-himself-audi-garage-not-to-blame-coroner
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 18:57, Reply)
Best Stooges album?
Alt: Best iggy pop album

Altalt: shitty poo
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:23, Reply)
fart up your bum

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:23, Reply)
we did something at the same time together
high five

o/
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:24, Reply)
High fives are best when they're done at the same time

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:25, Reply)
you just have to type
\o and you will digitally have high-fived me back.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:28, Reply)
It occurs to me there probably is a bit of chat in the solo artists out of earlier influential bands,
But not today.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:24, Reply)
they're always worse on their own than in the original band
cannot think of a single example of someone whose later solo career is superior to their earlier band apart from Johnny Thunders and the Heartbreakers but they were another band rather than a solo act
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:30, Reply)
^someone's never heard a little record call 'Mull of Kintyre'

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:35, Reply)
or Robert Plant's 'Big Log' lol

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:39, Reply)
I liked the bit when you said 'log'
lol
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:40, Reply)
^

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:40, Reply)
I prefer Devin Townsend's solo stuff to his Strapping Young Lad material
That said it's a marginal difference really
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:45, Reply)

Devin Pete
solo stuff to his Strapping Young Lad material internet search history to my own
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:59, Reply)
Brian Pern

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:18, Reply)
I really didn't enjoy that, to my disappointment

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:25, Reply)
I very much liked Michael Kitchen's
manager. He was smashing.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 15:32, Reply)
First one
Alt: all shit
Altalt: couldn't escape if I wanted to
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:26, Reply)

couldn't escape if I wanted to

With a love so rare and true
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:27, Reply)
Best Police album
Alt: best sting album

Altalt:Guano
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:36, Reply)
Can't you start threads about nice things instead, maybe child access restrictions or how your drugs are making you even more mental

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:43, Reply)
Best no Doubt album?
Alt: Best gwen stefani album

Altalt: crap
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:46, Reply)
bring back chair chat

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:17, Reply)
not really, i'm not insane

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:17, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:26, Reply)
the best of
alt: the best of
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:50, Reply)
The first one

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:51, Reply)
I was busy for a couple of hours
what's going on?
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:51, Reply)
shambles has hacked another account

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:53, Reply)

*edit frantically changes his from 123456 to pa55word*
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:56, Reply)
Best Black Sabbath album?
Alt: best Ozzy Osbourne album
Altalt: bum gravy
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:56, Reply)
First one
alt: shit
Altalt: I'm bum gravy known as the real gravy all you other bum gravys are just imitating so won't the real bum gravy please stand up, please stand up, please shut up
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:02, Reply)
arguably one of the most influential albums ever

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:09, Reply)
shut up tangles

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:10, Reply)
*argues*

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:10, Reply)
it never influenced me

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:11, Reply)
not my cup of cum

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:13, Reply)
I'd agree with that
Like it or loathe it (or just think it's a bit pathetic) heavy metal is a big thing and that LP is ground zero for the genre.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:24, Reply)
fuck this shit
I'm at the airort, fuck the lot of yaz
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:58, Reply)
"Running down my leg, miss!"

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:15, Reply)
^upset

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:59, Reply)
I think the London trip has addled my brain

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:02, Reply)
London does that to me too
but then so does Havant
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:14, Reply)
A Shit Load Of Cum

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:09, Reply)
alright mr lahey

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:10, Reply)
My sweetest friend.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:11, Reply)
Hey everyone. If you mash avocado the night before and put cling film over the top of it you can take it in to work the next day and it is still very nice.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:19, Reply)
Are you being weaned?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:23, Reply)
Best Yardbirds album
Alt: best Eric Clapton album

Altalt: poop
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:32, Reply)
Send The Buggers Back

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:34, Reply)
that drunken racist rant was probably his finest work

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:38, Reply)
How long before music streaming renders the album redundant?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:35, Reply)
3 weeks.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:35, Reply)
Cool.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:36, Reply)
Half an hour

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:39, Reply)
in the same way that CDs made vinyl redundant?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:39, Reply)
Minidiscs killed off CDs years ago.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:06, Reply)
Best Roxy Music album
Alt: best Bryan Ferry album

Altalt: poo
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:14, Reply)
manolith, can you please sandbox windy for the rest of the day?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:16, Reply)
not sure

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:17, Reply)
i can't believe corbyn wants to blow up more kids, at least may only want to starve them to death

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:22, Reply)
what do you expect from a known associate of the ira?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:25, Reply)
only a phone call to let me know they still care

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:26, Reply)
they did normally call before blowing people up, they were good old fashioned terrorists

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:28, Reply)
exactly

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:30, Reply)
He's a Kray apologist too, probably

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:27, Reply)
I bet he bummed Ronnie

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:29, Reply)
I don't like Bryan Ferry, and am indifferent to his work with Roxy Music.
I reckon this could be the least popular opinion I've expressed on this site.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:30, Reply)
Street Life

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:32, Reply)
Virginia Plain Roxy Music - Good, Avalon/Jealous Guy Roxy Music - Shit.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:46, Reply)
He's shit, they were awful

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 14:27, Reply)
The Downward Spiral

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:32, Reply)
Can't believe it's been nearly 11 years since Mr Mister self destructed

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:38, Reply)
Best genesis album?
Alt: best Phil Collins album.

Altalt: shit
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:03, Reply)
All shit
Alt: all shit

Altalt: all shit is shit
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:08, Reply)
What about elephant shit?
And what about bird shit that is a combination of shit and piss?
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:09, Reply)
^shit expert

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:28, Reply)
he knows his shit

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:34, Reply)
shit off

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:35, Reply)
the shit-ass empire

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:39, Reply)
little shit-on

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:40, Reply)
shitty maclean

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:40, Reply)
eartha shitt

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:47, Reply)
June Shitfield

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:11, Reply)
^

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:12, Reply)
altern-8 to all

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:14, Reply)
no jacket required makes me cry every time
because it' so fucking shit
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:17, Reply)
I'm abandoning this thread and going up town for a bit.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:18, Reply)
stay safe

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:29, Reply)
Too hard to choose

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:18, Reply)
what the shuddering fuck

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:23, Reply)
in The Empire Strikes Back, there are some ALTs-ALTs walking around

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:25, Reply)
I'd just like to say a warm thank you to Windy for achieving the impossible, by making my thread look almost good

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:29, Reply)
the only good thing about his film Buster was that Larry Lamb looked a spitting image of Bruce Reynolds

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:31, Reply)
On the Lamb with Larry Lamb

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:35, Reply)

only good thing about his film Buster was that Larry
looked a spitting image of Bruce Reynolds lies down on broadway
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:48, Reply)
the best of phil collins and genesis vol II

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:36, Reply)
bald midget chat

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:39, Reply)
leave two hats alone

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:43, Reply)

h
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:02, Reply)
ER doctors of Reddit, what are the craziest excuses you get for people putting things up their butt?
7237 replies
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:28, Reply)
"because I thought it would feel nice"

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:29, Reply)
and did it?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:52, Reply)
it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be
but not as good, either
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:54, Reply)
Might watch this later
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IDPz4Zzqv8
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:30, Reply)
Which one are you going to go with then?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:30, Reply)
Noakes

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:32, Reply)
I know a guy that got his girlfriend's dildo stuck in his bottom.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:32, Reply)
woah
was she present during this catastrophe?
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:35, Reply)
No. She was upset when she got to the hospital

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:02, Reply)
haha
I fucking bet she was. I think that Mrs Hats would be highly amused. Furthermore, she would never, ever let me forget it.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:18, Reply)

know am
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:35, Reply)

girlfriend's
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:43, Reply)
better

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:57, Reply)
i know it's pretty gauche to link to your own posts but...t
www.b3ta.com/talk/7988327
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:40, Reply)
bit gauche, m8

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:48, Reply)
i'm so ashamed

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:50, Reply)
crass and vulgar self-aggrandisement, m8

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:57, Reply)
crass AND vulgar?
this is worse than i thought. might just delete my account
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:28, Reply)
It would be the gentlemanly thing to do

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:28, Reply)
egg & crass

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:30, Reply)
OH JEEZ

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:45, Reply)
I don't know why I thought this was a good idea for a thread
It was this or 'weekend plans' :(
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:38, Reply)
what if they're one and the same?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:41, Reply)
You've let yourself down a bit on this one, Richard, it must be said.
I'm going to two concerts tomorrow, neither of which are expected to involve dildos.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:41, Reply)
I'm going to watch Wild Style and Mississippi Split.
Will cook something nice as well. Haven't decided yet but I think I'm leaning towards Jerk Chicken.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:43, Reply)
^staying at home to jerk the chicken

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:56, Reply)
Well it's not going to jerk itself.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:00, Reply)
can confirm am ER doctor

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:39, Reply)
dara o'briain is an... ERRR doctor

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:44, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:45, Reply)
"my expectations were confounded and from thence the humour came"

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:51, Reply)
About time Tate & Lyle made the change, the existing design is pretty disturbing if you study it

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:19, Reply)
it's either a biblical reference or a reference to this well cool Earth album
youtu.be/wEiRKpflgQA
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:24, Reply)
"YOU put it in there"

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:41, Reply)
I had the door on two sawhorses to paint it
Then I was up a stepladder in the nude to do the ceiling
I slipped
Then somehow it was easier to completely dismantle the mechanism rather than just "pull a bit harder"
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:50, Reply)
classic $$

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:52, Reply)
Why had you put a condom on it?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:52, Reply)
Best of all the saw-animals.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:53, Reply)
in case you wanted to do some beatboxing while you were up there?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:55, Reply)
Artexing in the nude

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:00, Reply)
Artex is shit for cunts.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:06, Reply)
Great way to get a chronic lung condition, though

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:08, Reply)
"I KNOW LETS DAUB A LOAD OF ASBESDOS ON THE CEILING MAKING IT A PAIN IN THE ARSE TO PAINT AND DANGEROUS TO REMOVE"

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:18, Reply)

ASBES GYARA
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:21, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:24, Reply)
Evolved my second red one this morning
I'm only 20 candies away from a tyranitar now thanks to this week's promotion
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:26, Reply)
shut up, rich
there's a chavvy cunt that goes to the park i visit on lunchbreaks, every day. he's always there before i arrive and still there when i leave. walking around with a bag of stella cans and taking the same gym over and over. he's got an unown, the prick
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:34, Reply)
what a winner

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:35, Reply)
u shud beat him up m8

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:37, Reply)
i just might ma8e

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:49, Reply)
Just as the Lord Jesus instructed

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:02, Reply)
and lo... thou shalt issue forth the flyest beats only when thou art sky-clad
richard 3:16
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:07, Reply)

richard Austin
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:16, Reply)
+ says 'I just wiped your ass'

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:19, Reply)
all bible quotes are something 3:16. it's the law

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:20, Reply)
strikey-g STONE COLD

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:22, Reply)
'what's the biggest thing you've ever stuck up your bum?' was repeatedly suggested as a q for qotw and never got picked
qotw is now dead on its arse and reddit is going from strength to strength and rob is yet again down on his luck
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:05, Reply)
a cautionary tale

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:13, Reply)
it's possible that replacing qotw with a /bum board might save the place, but it might be too little too late

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:19, Reply)
teh ginger fuhrer to you

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:16, Reply)
Shameless bullying of someone brought low by food addiction :(

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:17, Reply)
that poor lost soul, trapped in a downward spiral of heavily-discounted charcuterie :((((

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:28, Reply)
Bargain-hunters of Reddit, where have you spotted some 50p ham recently?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:17, Reply)
How many are godby playing both sides of the conversation for wanking material?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:17, Reply)
7236

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:29, Reply)
fuck off back to reddit

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:27, Reply)
voat4lyf

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:38, Reply)
"butt"?
Really, Richard? REALLY?
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:32, Reply)
It's short for buttocks

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 11:59, Reply)
YOU'RE short for buttocks, m8

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:07, Reply)
I said whattocks whattocks

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 12:23, Reply)
looking for volunteers for next week's morning threads
I'm having a week off
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:06, Reply)
I'm busy, soz

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:07, Reply)
Let's all take it in turns, like the anarcho-syndicalist commune that we are.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:08, Reply)
maybe we could draw straws
whoever draws the best straw wins
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:32, Reply)
what categories, values or attributes make a straw the best straw?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:17, Reply)
being better than the other straws

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:19, Reply)
perhaps we should run a straw poll of which drawn straw is the best straw that was drawn

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:22, Reply)
^tggi

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:23, Reply)
Jesus Cribbins
if nobody else will then I'll have to
img.pixady.com/2017/05/988952_201705260942131_460x460.jpg
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 13:27, Reply)
I'll let you know if I think of anyone

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:08, Reply)
you only ever think about yourself m8
SO selfish
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:09, Reply)
I was just thinking about someone else ACTUALLY
but I don't think Salma Hayek has a b3ta account
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:10, Reply)
she has breasts
unfortunately, she also has brown eyes, so I'm out.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:11, Reply)
I literally don't know how to respond to this

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:13, Reply)
put on some uggs and buy a pumpkin spice latte
that's how you literally can't even
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:15, Reply)
i think about her quite often

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:13, Reply)
I plan on thinking about her again later on

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:14, Reply)
presumably about all the campaigning she does for women's rights, yeah?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:22, Reply)
she does such good work
*cough*
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:23, Reply)
yes, she has an excellent body... of work

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:31, Reply)
soz lady boarders

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:31, Reply)
If women don't like us talking about Salma Hayek
then they should just all start looking like Salma Hayek. *crosses arms*
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:34, Reply)
indeed
penelope cruz has the right idea. why cant the rest of them just follow her example?
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:38, Reply)
AT LEAST SHE'S TRYING

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:42, Reply)
seriously?
she looks like a shed in a bad wig
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:46, Reply)
Well I wasn't expecting this

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:49, Reply)
she's got a point
i mean... can you even tell the difference?
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:26, Reply)
Blimey
I stand corrected
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:29, Reply)
it's like you weren't even looking at her face idgi

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:30, Reply)
what face?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:56, Reply)
BRB off to b&q

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:52, Reply)
You can do it, etc

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:54, Reply)
... wow.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:18, Reply)
Can't we just do them all now?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:10, Reply)
^ opens his christmas presents early

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:11, Reply)
shove it up your arse

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:12, Reply)
rich

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:14, Reply)
tell me rich, what kind of monster makes curry with philadelphia cream cheese?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:14, Reply)
A bent one?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:15, Reply)
interesting

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:15, Reply)
Should I take a lotradine tablet or not?
sneeze-roulette
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:32, Reply)
No, you should take 30-40 tramadols instead

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:33, Reply)
why not

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:35, Reply)
Yeah.
I've got about 300 in my desk drawer.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:36, Reply)
madness

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:38, Reply)
The drug company sent the same package twice.
Or I forgot I'd ordered them and ordered them twice.

The point is I ended up with more than I intended.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:40, Reply)
it was just a shit joke about the film 300, really

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:47, Reply)
not seen it.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:52, Reply)
It's all about Gerard Butler standing there in his pants and kicking a man in the hole

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:55, Reply)
It's not very good

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:55, Reply)
true dat

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:56, Reply)
Yeah, I've no interest in seeing it.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:18, Reply)
there's a famous line about madness that i'm sure you're aware of, regardless
don't let this be your skee-lo
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:56, Reply)
take it nasally
then see how far it goes when you do sneeze
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:37, Reply)
That's not actually a real thing surely

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:15, Reply)
I saw it on a tv commercial for said cheese
To me, that smacks of the marketing department saying "come on, we need ONE MORE IDEA. It doesn't matter how stupid it might sound."
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:16, Reply)
That's a 'Friday afternoon' idea if ever I heard one
'Fuck it, that'll do, let's go to the pub'
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:18, Reply)
I'm certain that's how those meercats came about. Russian yeah?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:41, Reply)
surely civilised people don't ever do anything with philadelphia cream cheese

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:19, Reply)
A blind drunk monster?

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:21, Reply)
iiiin cream philadelphia, seared and braised
a couple of lamb chunks I tried to jalfreze
chilli, clove, cinnamon, black cardamom
with a serving of crispy cumin popadoms
when a couple of guys said my curry's no good
started throwing shade on my flavourhood
They said my cheese choice was shite and threw it all in the air
and that's how I got curry sauce in my hair :(
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:21, Reply)
kill yourself

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:22, Reply)
I'd be more concerned if you actually liked it

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:23, Reply)
tragic

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:30, Reply)
I've wasted at least two minutes of my life on this

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:37, Reply)
ah well
you'd have only wasted them some other way
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:41, Reply)
such as making literally any other post on here

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:49, Reply)
we're all just posting our way to the grave

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:50, Reply)
post faster

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:54, Reply)

ooooh, caaaan doooo
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:05, Reply)
I'm in pieces, I haven't 'pardyed' that hard on school night for a very long time

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:16, Reply)
woah
You pardied hardy? Where did you go?
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:17, Reply)
London Posse, again

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:17, Reply)
oh yes, of course
As good the second time, I assume?
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:19, Reply)
Actually Sunday was the better show, marginally - some sound issues last night but still amazing
In some respects I had more fun last night because I was with my old DJ partner whereas on Sunday I was just being humoured by my wife.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:22, Reply)
ha
well I'm glad you had fun. Night off tonight?
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:23, Reply)
Yeah, got the nipper over so a couple of recovery beers and an early night
I drank a lot of cognac yesterday
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:24, Reply)
Nice
Taking her anywhere this weekend?
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:28, Reply)
Fun DMC on Sunday

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:32, Reply)
If the weather stays like this I might have to get an ice pole from the offy.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:37, Reply)
sposed to piss it down tomorrow

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:38, Reply)
Grey and miserable here according to the BBC.
Fucking typical.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:38, Reply)
oh for fucks sake!
I was going to get the bbq out. Fuck.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:40, Reply)
It might be sunny where you are.

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:46, Reply)
Nope, just checked

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:55, Reply)
Philadelphia curry it is then

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:47, Reply)
yesssss
flavour country
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:56, Reply)

the bbq my little penus
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:15, Reply)
It's never too cold and wet for that

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:16, Reply)
nah sunday it'll start

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:39, Reply)
I'm having a week off and all

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:16, Reply)
Me too
I'm going into the office all week. Oh hahahahaha
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:17, Reply)

d l
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:20, Reply)
something about 'whole week'

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:21, Reply)
Sorry mate, I'm already changing the backup tapes because someone's on holiday.
Plus I seem to get up later than most of you.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:35, Reply)
Dogfish. He's the best one here

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:49, Reply)
He's my top hombre

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:56, Reply)
IBHI

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:57, Reply)
agreed

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:56, Reply)
might put something up on calendar to show my respect

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 9:59, Reply)
you're a good man

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:01, Reply)
it's the least I could do, after all, he was the sole attendee of my last calendar event
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/26354
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:03, Reply)
I was going to sign up for your thing
but I had a really important thing that I had to take care of.
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:04, Reply)
Only the best of Moomin - this week -10% off with discount code moomin10

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:06, Reply)
^the Groke

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:11, Reply)

www.moomin.com/en/which-moomin-are-you/
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:16, Reply)
You are Snufkin!

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:20, Reply)
moominpapa

(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:21, Reply)
that quiz just gave me a pretty insulting result
might sue tove jansson
(, Fri 26 May 2017, 10:23, Reply)

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