You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Post a new message | View older messages | Popular | Search


b3ta.com/talk/180404
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:19, Reply)
10 years, motherfuthers. 10 years.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:20, Reply)
and "TheDoveston" was calling it a new game.
These kids.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:23, Reply)
too much fizzy lemonade and space invaders

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:26, Reply)
and toxie,
there is a username i haven't seen for a long time
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:25, Reply)
about ten years, in fact

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:26, Reply)
last posted in about 2007 by the looks of it,
on /board anyway.

saw her irl only last week, i'd almost forgotten she used to come here
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:29, Reply)
also: star wars

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:27, Reply)
He's
probably dead by now.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:29, Reply)
We have a new game
its called bastard, the rules are simple, you may take three items to the checkout to give the worst possible impression of yourself.
e.g

1) bread
2) milk
3) eggs

or

1) super noodles
2) 4 cans of fosters
3) the guardian

Gentlemen.....we welcome your additions
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:20, Reply)
let's see
condoms
nappies
tights
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:22, Reply)
all seems in order here

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:24, Reply)
Alright The Doveston.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:22, Reply)
hiya

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:24, Reply)

1)Polos
2)Polo middles
3)Fruit polos
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:22, Reply)
woah, you can buy the middles of polos?

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:24, Reply)
once upon a time you could

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:27, Reply)
3 types of Polo in one shopping spree?
Your indulgence knows no bounds.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:39, Reply)

shopp + kill
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:53, Reply)
If you're not gunna kill with fresh breath, you may as well not kill at all

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:58, Reply)
Carling 10 pack
Nuts magazine
Pringles
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:26, Reply)

1) Milk
2) Sugar
3) Tea bags
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:26, Reply)
sugar?
you make me sick
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:35, Reply)
Precisely
Mwah ha ha ha ha
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:49, Reply)
Flaming Hot Monster Munch
Pickled Onion Monster Munch
Roast Beef Monster Munch
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:29, Reply)
may I have one of your flaming hot monster munch, please?

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:31, Reply)
You can have a whole bag, they aren't for sharing #multipack

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:01, Reply)
thank you, but I only want one so I'll probably resell the pack to someone else.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:10, Reply)
I don't think you're allowed to do that

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:11, Reply)
YES!

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:35, Reply)
\o/

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:01, Reply)
haha, that's a fucking BRILLIANT game

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:30, Reply)

1) Blue dress
2) Jock strap
3) snickers
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:32, Reply)
...

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:07, Reply)
Don't worry, I'll get bored of this at some point

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:11, Reply)
i wouldn't mind but i don't look anything like him

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:21, Reply)
or her?

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:23, Reply)
no, i look exactly like her

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:33, Reply)
This amused me far more that it ought to have.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:15, Reply)

1) Packet of tissues
2) Bunch of posies
3) 'With Sympathy' card
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:31, Reply)
they should update those cards for the modern era
'soz yur nan's dead'
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:40, Reply)
'lol'

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:49, Reply)
'tl;dr'

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:51, Reply)
3 hats

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:31, Reply)
Each more fiendish than the last?

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:33, Reply)
clearly:
2 packs of magic the gathering.
kleenex
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:31, Reply)
Well that's quite the saturday night you've got planned there!

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:34, Reply)
I have a wedding this Friday
A FUCKING WEDDING

I'm a groomsman, I am not a best man this time, but I'm still part of the wedding party, and I'm the MC at the meal.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: Saturday will be a day of recovery.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:46, Reply)
Can you take the cards with you?
Play it during the ceremony maybe?
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:49, Reply)
I'll do a running commentary on my DMG PNTS

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:50, Reply)
Ok,
Methylated Spirits.
Vaseline.
Razzle
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:49, Reply)

bottled water
agave nectar
quinoa
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:05, Reply)
I should go up the shops really

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:07, Reply)
a coconut
shaving foam
razor blades
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:13, Reply)
COCONUT SUICIDE
Great name for a band
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:17, Reply)
haemorrhoid cream
the daily mail
laminating plastic
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:20, Reply)
sandwich
packet of crisps
drink

might as well get the meal deal discount
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:32, Reply)
Can't find a coke bottle with either of my kids names on it
Found "Wei" and "Giacamo" but not the ones I'm after. What a world.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:47, Reply)
you can check if they exist here
www.cokezone.com/uk/en/coca-cola/share-a-coke
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:54, Reply)
Well they do exist
They obviously don't think to stock them in any shops near me. Secret recipe based carbonated drink making wankers.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:15, Reply)

1. Bag of quicklime
2. Shovel
3. Map of Portugal
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:35, Reply)
TOPICAL

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:45, Reply)
TROPICAL

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:49, Reply)
1) Earl Grey Teabags
2) Cane sugar cubes
3) Condensed milk
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:39, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 7:51, Reply)
oh hello

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 7:56, Reply)
meaty

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 8:06, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 8:08, Reply)
fuck off dozers

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 8:13, Reply)
prick

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 8:20, Reply)
wanker

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 8:39, Reply)
yeah right

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 8:31, Reply)
fuck a horse

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 8:41, Reply)
jkldfblsdthjo;sdgjihosdfho;dsfjhsfo;hbo;easibe;guidjho;sdfjo;gio;sdfjh

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 8:45, Reply)
i disagree

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:05, Reply)
^tggi

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:06, Reply)
OGC

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:11, Reply)
smyls

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:15, Reply)
dilligaf

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:17, Reply)
You rang/

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:42, Reply)
you lurky, lurky lurker

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:46, Reply)
Easy for you to say.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:16, Reply)
afternoon

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 8:54, Reply)
bonjela

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 8:57, Reply)
Astutely observed.
Have an OBE.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 8:58, Reply)
YOU'RE an oboe

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:01, Reply)
take it sleazy

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:03, Reply)
bore da, Mr Horrible

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:05, Reply)
Can you remember when polo sold the centres as a fad?
That was pretty tedious.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:13, Reply)
Rip off more like

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:16, Reply)
fruit polos and spearmint polos were pretty great though

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:18, Reply)
fruit polos were lovely

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:19, Reply)
damn straight
maybe this affair IS going to work after all
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:23, Reply)
I also remember tiny polos, or i may have imagined it
I thikn they came inside a massive plastic polo.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:40, Reply)
They were basically just Smints,
and tasted of aspartame.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:42, Reply)
It's hard to remember, they came out around the same time i discovered you could get high from glue

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:45, Reply)
can i just say
i am REALLY enjoying thursday polo chat
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:46, Reply)
I quite fancy a Polo, now
Are they still 10p a pack?
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:49, Reply)
yeah, probably

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:54, Reply)
are they fuck, 10p a polo now

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:54, Reply)
RIP OFF BRITAIN

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:03, Reply)
Fancy a quick chukka?

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:10, Reply)
i don't know, what does that mean?

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:12, Reply)
Polo innit

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:13, Reply)
I can't separate the flavour of fruit polos from the disappointment of playing AD&D
on my lunch hour and after school with a teacher and some other school people.

This isn't euphemism, this actual ROLEPLAYING :(
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:23, Reply)
oh... oh no

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:24, Reply)
*sinks head into hands*
*tears*
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:29, Reply)
it's ok, man
we've all done things we aren't proud of

i mean, not like this but y'know...
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:31, Reply)
You weren't saying that while begging to be Ser Gregor Clegane in our GoT LARPing sesh

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:12, Reply)
Were the fruit Polos intended to get the flavour of your teacher's cock out of your mouth?

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:24, Reply)
no, they were a mainstay of the snack that I would enjoy during the process of imagining MAGIC & DRAGONS

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:28, Reply)
... with your teacher, after school

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:29, Reply)
yes, doing an activity, with an adult after school
being treated like an adult.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:33, Reply)
Playing AD&D equates to being treated like an adult?

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:40, Reply)
no, being treated like an adult equated to being treated like an adult.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:40, Reply)
Being referred to as a Lvl.38 Barbarian Mage,
didn't mean that you actually were one.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:45, Reply)
I was a Lvl.42 King

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:48, Reply)
the mark of a fine slap player

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:49, Reply)
We used to play Bridge, during school lunch breaks.
That and attempt to memorise Monty Python scripts.

I often look back and regret my adolescence.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:51, Reply)
I used to do the latter, but replace bridge with AD&D
:(
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:53, Reply)
hmm...I was more in with the steal some potassium and hydrochloric acid crowd
and blow a toilet off the wall in my lunchbreak.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:57, Reply)
I think you win.
Bridge is a game for old ladies.
Still, at least I got to regard players of Magic: The Gathering, with disdain.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:00, Reply)
I think we both could look at them with disdain
Magic, The Gathering. Hah!
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:04, Reply)
Pokemon for kids trying to convince themselves that they're too cool and grown up for Pokemon.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:08, Reply)
but he didn't stop me from eating a whole pack of polos in the space of 30 minutes, HAH!
YEAH, NONE FUCKING CONFORMIST!
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:51, Reply)
YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON, WHO WON'T PLAY BY THE RULES!
I'm going to have to take your badge and gun.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:54, Reply)
At least I'll still have my D12 and Level 49 Dwarf with a Halberd of Destruction

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:01, Reply)
woah
you have your own d12?
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:11, Reply)
That's just the way GMoS rolls.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:21, Reply)

a + in
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:15, Reply)
citrus polos were the best,
but they stopped selling them.

You can still get fruit polos, i didn't like the spearmint ones though.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:13, Reply)
This sort of bollocks will continue to increase exponentially as long as there are wankers with "social media" in their job titles.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:26, Reply)
they werent the middles
they didnt fit into polos
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:35, Reply)
No, they were a silly marketing ploy to sell more mints.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:36, Reply)
whatever happenned to dweebs
they were nice
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:39, Reply)
and nerds

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:40, Reply)
plenty of those here
HAHAHAHAHAHA
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:41, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHAHA indeed!

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:47, Reply)
What kind of over-privileged childhood must you have had,
if you could afford to buy two different packets of mints, just to see if they fit together?
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:41, Reply)
Nah, I just had freinds and we shared innit

loner
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:44, Reply)
:'(

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:47, Reply)
It's ok though, cos you've got freinds now right?

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:52, Reply)
Will you be my friend?
We could share mints, and make friendship bracelets!
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:06, Reply)
no

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:18, Reply)
:'(
And I'd got as far as carving "Glovi" into my arm. Might as well finish it, at least the pain will be real
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:30, Reply)
my father worked 16 hours a day down pit
to put a polo in my mouth. Times were hard then.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:05, Reply)
I bet you were 10x happier that "two mints" Glovington.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:10, Reply)
well

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:08, Reply)
We have a new game
its called bastard, the rules are simple, you may take three items to the checkout to give the worst possible impression of yourself.
e.g

1) Ski mask
2) Veet 500ml
3) What dog magazine

or

1) Lubricant
2) Stopwatch
3) Diary of Anne Frank....

Gentlemen.....we welcome your additions
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 2:15, Reply)
prick

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 2:59, Reply)
wanker

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 3:12, Reply)
nonce

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 3:50, Reply)
you fucking cunt

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 6:18, Reply)
baseball bat
swarfega
your mum
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 8:08, Reply)
This went well.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:05, Reply)
haha lovely

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:10, Reply)
bit sexist

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 9:24, Reply)
Alright spastics how's it going? Anyone fingered a mod yet?
Alt: probably because I am a fucking idiot.
Alt alt: get fucked.
Alt alt alt: has the newsletter been killed yet?
Alt alt alt alt: off to lindos on Monday.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:10, Reply)
piss off and enjoy your holiday you fucking idiot

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:11, Reply)
kind and wise words from the massive bearded internet bully

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:21, Reply)
i am all of those things and more

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:57, Reply)
There's a good Southsea?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:45, Reply)
there are some nice pubs, a couple of decent restaurants, bits of the seafront are lovely
and ME, i'm good southsea
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:56, Reply)
Then bad Southsea is my final answer.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 22:10, Reply)
I'm willing to bet that this is what we call a 'Mortal Wombat Holiday' or, in common parlance..
'internet vacation'.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 0:06, Reply)
u ok babe?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:13, Reply)
I'm watching Sharknado
lol
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:27, Reply)
Richard

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:36, Reply)
McBeef?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:49, Reply)
get fucked you black bastard

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:51, Reply)
Bit harsh

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 22:20, Reply)
Edgy.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 0:09, Reply)
Big D

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 22:05, Reply)
alright

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 22:18, Reply)
Hey sorry no more free wi fi.
Get fucked
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 22:23, Reply)
fuck off, nonce

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 22:37, Reply)
all good

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 22:30, Reply)
^upset nonce^

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 23:08, Reply)
GeordieJay paedophiled a blind autistic kid

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:34, Reply)
ok

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:38, Reply)
It's this kind of witty banter that keeps you "Top of the Game" on here...

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:43, Reply)
it could be worse, I could be a fat, bald, HIV+ northener wearing a vest and with a job as a 'team leader' in a ppi call centre

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:46, Reply)
worse is subjective and also and abstract

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:47, Reply)
hey, "watch' your mouth

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:48, Reply)
srs is this what b3ta has become, qftw nobs trying to troll me, God speed

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:59, Reply)
Bad times Mongy. when can we expect a 'live from the lake'?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 20:50, Reply)
Good to have aspirations

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:50, Reply)
He seems to be the best here Jaysum.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:53, Reply)
You're a stupid prick.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:48, Reply)
did you end up doing your sparky ticket?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 20:13, Reply)
Yeah mate,
Working as a PAT monkey for a big outfit for a bit now, doing proper sparky work when they need an extra hand to gain some experience. It's not ideal, but I knew I couldn't just bust on to site with a couple of c and guild tickets and start throwing cables around.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 20:16, Reply)
go into building maintenance, it'll pay better than pat testing

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 20:19, Reply)
I'll have a look,
I'm not doing too bad, as the by the test bonus can be pretty good if you don't spend your day smoking and drinking coffee. But thanks for the tip. I'm on the look to get out of this.

Are you up the juicer yet?
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 20:23, Reply)
windy!
long time no see
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 20:34, Reply)
Alright macho man manolith
How's the world turning on the south coast?
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 20:39, Reply)
it's spinning like a good'n
bloody warm, mind

how're YOU?
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 20:45, Reply)
Smashing thanks.
New job, 3rd dog, got engaged.


Although I'm stuck in Newport working this week and I'll be honest, it's not a happening town.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 20:51, Reply)
congrats, congrats, congrats
don't they have boozers in newport?
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:11, Reply)
I'm in one. It's a bit like Southsea.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:17, Reply)
good southsea or bad southsea?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:18, Reply)
Dozer is even more unpopular than Emvee.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 20:33, Reply)
Don't be daft.
Although, I'm fairly sure they're both nullo
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 20:40, Reply)
alright, WP

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 20:58, Reply)
Alright shambles
How's it?
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:04, Reply)
ace
I've just been to the seaside and the new au pair has arrived so I can hit the juicer without worrying about parenting and ting.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:22, Reply)
Top work.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:45, Reply)
dude ... harsh

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 20:59, Reply)
Evening.
What the fuck are you doing?
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 18:46, Reply)
Vodka, lime and tonic (as jeeves got tonic instead of soda), sitting in the sun writing away

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 18:55, Reply)
sitting in the beer garden of the juicer

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 18:55, Reply)
I like a beer garden.
I might go to a beer garden. And not a poxy barrel-yard-turned-smoking-area either.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:31, Reply)
Grass and things helps. And not astroturf.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:38, Reply)
drinking bleach

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:04, Reply)
do not induce vomiting

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:11, Reply)
I have never had much idea and as time passes I have ever less of an idea

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:10, Reply)
I found as you get older you care less, it evens out

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:12, Reply)
how long to I have to wait for the care less bit mongy, ballpark will do

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:12, Reply)
11

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:17, Reply)
\o/
hello grrrmachine
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:18, Reply)
hello whoever you are

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 20:30, Reply)
:'-(

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 21:48, Reply)
Watching the last drops of moisture trickle out of my skin as I wither into a husk of my former self

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:17, Reply)
I'm still working, nearly done now though.
THANKS FOR ASKING!!!

Might do a bit chicken stew later
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:26, Reply)
Yeah nice one
Fuck this weather, and fuck you. Alright? Alright.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:58, Reply)
alt: alright.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:59, Reply)
Alt?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:10, Reply)
ctrl?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:35, Reply)
Carol Thatcher's Rancid Labia?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:52, Reply)
no thanks, i'm having my tea soon

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:57, Reply)
alright

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:03, Reply)
sweet as

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:10, Reply)
What's wrong with your weather?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:29, Reply)
Too hot
It doesn't need to be this hot
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:49, Reply)
we'll be moaning in a couple month when it's too cold.
Goldilocks cunts.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:51, Reply)
I won't
I much prefer the cold. Easier to get warm in winter than getting cool in summer.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:54, Reply)
^ this.
Got up to 37 degrees in this office last summer. Good for growing chillies, though.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 17:20, Reply)
Im watching you. If you moan ONCE about cold weather, I will END YOU.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 17:22, Reply)
nice here
I'm going to run out of rainwater for the veg in a day or two
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:36, Reply)
If only there were another way of sourcing water

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:49, Reply)
wha?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:50, Reply)
It's easy, listen
You know those bags of ice you can buy in Morrisons? Buy loads of those, put them in a bath and wait until they melt. EASY.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:53, Reply)
wha?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 18:06, Reply)
I'm having to water everything twice a day in the greenhouse.
The rainwater ran out six weeks ago.
Terrible times. I'll have to start using piss.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 18:38, Reply)
terrible gardening indignity
You need more water storage. Or better ventilation
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 19:32, Reply)
Doors and windows open in the greenhouse.
Just need another tank. We're only here for a couple of months, though, so I'm not buying another tank for some other fucker to have when we've gone.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 20:42, Reply)
it's a bit warm, innit. fuck YOU though
alright
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:36, Reply)
Dan, eat your snickers

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:50, Reply)
why?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:56, Reply)
Because you turn into a right diva when you're hungry

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:59, Reply)
har har har

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 17:10, Reply)
corrupted by power

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:51, Reply)
minimal power corrupts minimally

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:56, Reply)
Afternoon all

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:42, Reply)

fternoon all +lt: MONO'S BUMHOLE
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:51, Reply)
I just noticed that you can misspell Christopher Lee's character in Star Wars as 'Darth Tryanus', which I'm sure you'll agree is quite funny.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 17:34, Reply)
alright
I'm enjoying the cool actually
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 18:41, Reply)
So we are all going to die from ebola.
Shall we start the B3ta enclave in the woods somewhere? Doveston can be mayor
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:16, Reply)
JMG is lifelong mayor of /talktown.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:18, Reply)
No.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:03, Reply)
^^^^

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:35, Reply)
*PISTOLS*

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:54, Reply)
No and no
Next
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:19, Reply)
remember 2unlimited?
i had their album on cassette
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:34, Reply)
I do
That came out around the time I left school, imagine that!
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:43, Reply)
i simply can't
however, try this for size. they are currently on tour!
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:48, Reply)
Not a musical tour, obviously
Selling time shares or something, right?
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:52, Reply)
no
www.2unlimitedlive.com/tour
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:58, Reply)
well I've just 'liked' them on the Facebooks.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:17, Reply)
hopefully a tour of Helmand province

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:59, Reply)
I'll have you know that Anita Doth can strip, clean and reassemble an M14 in less than a minute
So y'know
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:02, Reply)
Well that's pointless knowledge.
Which decent army uses an M14?
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:34, Reply)
She volunteers in a military museum
Always naysaying, you. Just give someone a fucking chance, yeah?
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:38, Reply)
what good is she in a museum?
she should get out there on the frontline.
lazy bitch.
all these fucking stupid mingebags wanting equal rights and then they just pick and choose which rights they really want. that's not fucking equal you foetid lepers.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:00, Reply)
She's a very busy woman
If you didn't already know, they're going on tour.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:02, Reply)
where's my fucking tour?
equal rights my fucking arse
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:17, Reply)
Im intrigued as to what the 'cobra method' involves
as I don't see how dancing around the place spitting everywhere is going to solve anything
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:24, Reply)
Unless you live in some third-world country, with poor healthcare facilities, and a limited understanding of infection control,
you're not going to die from Ebola.
If I were to be facing the prospect of living out the apocalypse in a survivalist enclave, I think I'd rather risk it with zombies, rather than throw my lot in with this sorry crowd.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:30, Reply)
would we be separated into tribes?
/talk, /board, /links, etc
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:32, Reply)
I want to live alone in a cave, please
That's generally....nothing to do with b3ta
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:44, Reply)
do you have a cave in mind or are you just thinking aloud?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:08, Reply)
I don't mind really
As long as it's really difficult for humans to get to
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:09, Reply)
looks like spain is your best bet
www.rusticom.co.uk/spanish_properties/inland/rural/cave_houses.html
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:12, Reply)
Yes!
This is now my favourite website. Thank you Manolith
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:18, Reply)
oh my god this is amazing

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:29, Reply)
I was saving for a house boat, but fuck that now

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:30, Reply)
Why don't you get a floating cave boat?
Best of ALL worlds
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:20, Reply)
25,000 for a "cave in ruins"?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 18:27, Reply)
we're all more likely to die from an influenza type affair

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:32, Reply)
an affair?
oh mr sentimentals, i mustn't!
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:36, Reply)
you cannot resist our love
you have great influenza over me...
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:38, Reply)
he's caught the love bug

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:43, Reply)
Chlamydia?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:52, Reply)
herbie?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:58, Reply)
Nah, I can't be doing with you spastics dragging me down, I'm just going to live in a wooden shack on my own.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:30, Reply)
I'll bring the beers

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:33, Reply)
Leave them outside and piss off back to gaytown

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:38, Reply)
I just like the music, that's all...

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:42, Reply)
Just kidding, you can stay, but I'm in charge of the tunes

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:43, Reply)
see thats the community spirit i like!

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:45, Reply)
oh ok, cool.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:48, Reply)
STAY ABOUT FROM MY CAVE

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:38, Reply)
I'll bring the beers

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:42, Reply)
I don't want a cave, I want something with a door so I can ignore it when people knock

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:44, Reply)
Oh, my cave will have a door
like this
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:48, Reply)
great, as a dwarf i can get in, cool, cool

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:07, Reply)
Fuck THAT noise The LOVELY Bumless.
I'm going to be on my secret Nazi moonbase with all my Penguin Legion and Team Spiders.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:14, Reply)
Hey stuj
You're a good guy.
I'm bored at work.
Fancy paying for me to live so I can quit?
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:33, Reply)
Sorry The LOVELY MONO!. But no.
I'm afraid you'll just have to suffer.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:34, Reply)
in that case, I'll have to marry you

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:36, Reply)
As long as you're willing to have your bum painted gold, be incoherent and call me Arno, sure, why not?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:42, Reply)
^ ^
stupid hat
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:51, Reply)
Pahahaha
The client site manager has just told me about this great delivery he recieves, from PACT coffee. He can't understand why I can't stop laughing. I KNEW he was a nonce, all the paedo jokes he tells aren't funny, just uncomfortable, and now I know the truth.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 10:33, Reply)
go on then, what's so upsetting about PACT?
I realise that b3ta is seemingly sponsored by it, but what's the issue with people having coffee?
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 10:34, Reply)
Each bean is forced up the bum of an non consenting child. That's what I heard.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 10:51, Reply)
nuttin but the truth

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 11:28, Reply)
I reckon this is all just some edgy, guerrilla marketing campaign.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 10:51, Reply)
I wish them the best
everyone has to make money somehow, as much as we don't want to, the idyll would be a society without money but that's ludicrous and I hate you for even trying to imagine it, FUCK, THIS ISN'T LOGAN'S FUCKING RUN.

Speaking of Logan's Run, how great is Box the robot? Fucking well great in't he.

"Overwhelming, am I not?" - Box, Logan's Run, 1976.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 10:55, Reply)
the voice of Box was the narrator of Babe
his name is "that one you think is James Earl Jones but isn't".
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 11:42, Reply)
i will think you will find that Babe was a documentary, the only reason we could hear the pig talking to the other animals was because of special recording equipment

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 11:57, Reply)
^fact

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 12:00, Reply)
Babe pig in the city
was a poignant telling of the injustice of a minority species trying to make it in a big bad world.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 12:01, Reply)
Both Babe and Box absolutely loved
"Fish, and plankton. And sea greens, and protein from the sea."
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 12:00, Reply)
I love the bit where Babe freezes the sheep and then by some not really explained phenomenon the whole farm falls down.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 12:32, Reply)
I liked that Babe was able to just make said weapons appear from thin air.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:43, Reply)
I heard they shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 12:49, Reply)
i've thought about this.
and i've come to the conclusion that you beakering on and on bores me. hope this helps.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 11:10, Reply)
that is such a shame
you can always use the ignore button, I won't mind
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 11:26, Reply)
also, is this grounds for our divorce, and who gets to keep two hats?
I remember it like it was yesterday
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 11:37, Reply)
I don't

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 11:44, Reply)
she's so fickle

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 11:46, Reply)
I'll get over it
:(
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 11:58, Reply)
Woah
I have no memory of that
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 12:10, Reply)
just like the geri/duggan thing for me!
i think we're slowly having our minds erased
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 12:22, Reply)
You might be right
You know what I don't get? Why do the people on /links and /qotw say that they hate everything, and why does it upset them so much that other people like these things? What tv shows/movies/books do they like? I don't get it.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 12:29, Reply)
I'm starting to think that this site is full of witless dullards with nothing valuable or interesting to say

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 12:39, Reply)
i always thought that was the point of this place.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 12:55, Reply)
^ cutting edge wit

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:13, Reply)
pricks

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:52, Reply)
Pricks and Prones May Break My Bones
But Words Will Never Jon Pertwee
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:55, Reply)
It's a bit chilly in here.
/ac
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 10:01, Reply)
wankers

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 10:03, Reply)

★★CLICK★THE★↑↓LIKE★WORD↑↓★★★★★★★★
░█░░░█░█░▄▀░█▀▀░░░░▀█▀░█░█░█░▄▀▀░
░█░░░█░█▀░░░█▀░░▄▄░░█░░█▀█░█░░▀▄
░█▄▄░█░█░▀▄░█▄▄░░░░░█░░█░█░█░▄▄▀░
★★CLICK★THE★↑↓LIKE★WORD↑↓★★★★★★★★
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 10:05, Reply)
Either my phone mucks up the spacing on all attempts at ASCII art,
or you're a fucking idiot.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 10:14, Reply)
Both.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 10:15, Reply)
your phone hates you

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 10:26, Reply)
Hey, my phone is like Roger Murtagh.
It's permanently 2 days from retirement and, though it may find me exasperating, it's actually very fond of me.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 10:49, Reply)
morning

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:06, Reply)
Sup

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:17, Reply)
yo

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:28, Reply)
word up g

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:20, Reply)
sup

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:28, Reply)
yo

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:24, Reply)
word up g

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:29, Reply)
'sup Bae

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:32, Reply)
a fine observation shambles

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:35, Reply)
morning

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:35, Reply)
you knows it

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:37, Reply)
safe as fuck

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:43, Reply)
your mother has a penis

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:20, Reply)
19, 9 , 19, 9 ,1983

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:26, Reply)
Hello.
I watched 21 Jump Street, last night, which appeared to be the hilarious tale of two closeted homosexuals attempting to commit statutory rape.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:39, Reply)
That does sound pretty hilarious

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:41, Reply)
I hope one was chubby and they other muscular as if
one was to receive and another to give it.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:48, Reply)
I think its sylvester stallone and danny devito

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:52, Reply)
Channing Tatum is sooooo dreamy,
if your fantasy is for a dead-eyed man-child with a stupid name.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:31, Reply)
How?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:05, Reply)
god done it

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:07, Reply)
Which one?
Fingers crossed that it was the giant dung beetle.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:18, Reply)
that would explain a lot

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:20, Reply)
TAKE THAT, SCIENCE!

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:35, Reply)
nah

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:36, Reply)
oh, ok

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:47, Reply)
do you do?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:20, Reply)
what you do to me?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:20, Reply)
I wish I knew?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:23, Reply)
hope this finds you well?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:34, Reply)
go fuck yoursen

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:37, Reply)
can do!

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:40, Reply)
most notably

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:21, Reply)
bit chilly today, stupid sunshine

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:24, Reply)
This office has it's windows shut,
it should have them open.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:26, Reply)
open one them
i bet in 40 mins you'll receive a group email telling employees not to open the window because they have air con installed and it will render it useless.

They will not blame you directly because the person sending the email can't be arsed to walk over to you.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:33, Reply)
we don't have AC, so it's ok.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 9:48, Reply)
baked.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 23:55, Reply)
edit: goodnight
ps the first rule of bag club is you don't talk about bag club
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 23:56, Reply)
best Bouise song ever

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 23:56, Reply)
phone hacking
www.b3ta.com/board/11092108
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 0:00, Reply)
That's /board in 2014, ladies and gentlemen!
Give it a big hand.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 0:03, Reply)
;D
www.b3ta.com/board/11092113
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 0:11, Reply)
wanker

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:24, Reply)
this is why we dont have nice things to play with

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 0:55, Reply)
but my mum has just lesbo'd with your mum and they're both a bit tired so.....maybe tomorrow?

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 23:31, Reply)

Post a new message | View older messages | Popular | Search