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I for one was enjoying the morning thread before it was rudely pushed down the board by baldmonkey/Bou
plans for the weekend?
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:33, Reply)
Birthday, drinking, F1, blayzit
Going here tonight after work to indulge in some retro gaming madness
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:38, Reply)
I always wanted a Sega Rally machine at home

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:39, Reply)
And it could be yours!*
*for just over £2k
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:41, Reply)
what a rip-off
you could probably buy a complete Toyota Celica for that
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:45, Reply)
Lancia Delta Master Race

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:50, Reply)
HF Integrale, sure
but you won't get one for 20k, let alone 2.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:54, Reply)
Oddly I did buy a complete Toyota Celica for that

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:34, Reply)
did you rip it to bits and stuff the internals into a mini like Project Binky?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:43, Reply)
No, I use it to drive to places. Sometimes from places as well.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:46, Reply)
Surely the ratio of places driven from and place driven to is 1:1?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:55, Reply)
Not with the cars I tend to buy it isn't.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:55, Reply)
No, deffo a higher ratio of to

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:57, Reply)

Sega Ra wi
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:42, Reply)
well obvs

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:44, Reply)
Unlucky

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:41, Reply)
Meh, I'm looking forward to it
The only downside is having to go to Bury
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:43, Reply)
exactly

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:51, Reply)
The wife is taking the spawn away for two whole weeks
so I've got a fortnight of Extreme Wanking to catch up on
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:38, Reply)
noice
how will you make it "XTREEM"?
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:42, Reply)
I'll use more than words

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:43, Reply)
and get the spunk out?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:52, Reply)
It's a monster!
said no one, ever
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:54, Reply)
Play with me?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:55, Reply)
Ristar?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:58, Reply)
i never finished that
was it any good?
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:01, Reply)
I really liked it as a kid, Sonic Team, well designed platformer, a bit cutesy but most games were in those days
Got it in that Mega Drive bundle yesterday so I might give it a shot again at some point over the weekend, maybe while recovering from a hangover
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:05, Reply)
that and dynamite headdy were games i always wanted for my mega drive but because mega drive games were so expensive, i never got them
played both on one of those mega drive collections and didn't get very far with either of them
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:13, Reply)
For ages I only had about 3 games for my megadrive.
I got loads in the early 2000's when cash converters were selling them off at about £2 a pop.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:16, Reply)
I lucked out as a kid, where I used to live there was a little second hand games shop off the main high street
It got to a point where my parents would leave me in there while they went round town shopping. The games went for anything from £5 - £20, and I'd swap completed games for new ones, normally bought a couple of weeks before from the same place.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:19, Reply)
My parents used to do that in Merry Hill.
I still remember they once did it when I asked them to leave me in Games Workshop and they fucked off before realised my mistake.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:21, Reply)
yeah, there was a place called ross records in portsmouth
and i'd part-ex things in there. i remember going in once with a carrier bag of crap games and coming out with mario kart for the snes and a queen - greatest hits cd
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:21, Reply)
I still remember bad influence showing a naughty device for the snes where you put a cartridge in the top and it saved it to floppy disc.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:24, Reply)
and yet violet berlin got away scot free
i remember taping that so i could read the 'datablast' at the end
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:26, Reply)
^^

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:32, Reply)

games
mario kart for the snes and
-greatest hits cd

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:24, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:53, Reply)
Until it bleeds.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:52, Reply)
When his wife gets back it'll have a hand grip in it. Like a rubber-handled hammer.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:10, Reply)
good thinking
I've got a few of these knocking around
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:20, Reply)
Funnily enough I was looking at a load of victorian anti-sex/wanking devices the other day and one of them looked a lot like that, but with inward-facing spurs.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:23, Reply)
Robson Green's failed tv pitches.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:09, Reply)
dunno
some stuff, probably
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:51, Reply)
cool bruh

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:53, Reply)
Might have to go and see that turtles film
I'd rather not, truth be told, but it seems that I don't have much choice
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:55, Reply)
you fucking stupid fat fuck

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:55, Reply)
woah, what was that for?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:56, Reply)
you brought it on yourself

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:57, Reply)
fair

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:01, Reply)
Bad luck.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:57, Reply)
I know
Still, there might be some good trailers. And maybe I can have a snooze while it's playing
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:58, Reply)
the trailer for that r-rated seth rogan animated film got played before a kids film in america recently
cool story, eh?
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:01, Reply)
Woah, really?
Oops
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:01, Reply)
I don't really see what the fuss is. It'll either go right over their heads or they'll understand it anyway.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:33, Reply)
Take some ear plugs to help with the snoozing.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:35, Reply)
good advice, thanks

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:35, Reply)
it's bound to be terrible
but it's your parental duty, sucka
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:00, Reply)
He wants to see it, and he only wants to see it with me
My hands are tied
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:00, Reply)
kids are so needy with their attachments to their parents, aren't they?
why can't they just let us get on with doing the things we enjoy?
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:05, Reply)
I played with the little person for a whole 10 minutes yesterday and as soon as I went to enjoy a beer and a read she got the hump
pathetic
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:06, Reply)
I think the victorians had the right idea by outsourcing their parental duties.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:34, Reply)
I'll probably need a nanny in a few years
but I'm not sure what nationality to import.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:39, Reply)
Japanese
obviously
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:40, Reply)
why obviously?
what's the benefit of a nipponese nanny?
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:43, Reply)
^is a poet and is not aware.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:46, Reply)
they're small, so they're not in the way quite so much
and incredibly polite, so less likely to answer back or question anything you tell them to do.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:55, Reply)
I was recently surprised at how little eastern-european au pairs cost.
I seriously considered getting one just to do the auxilary domestic work they usually do. They could do what they want with the time they'd usually be looking after the children and it'd still be a bargain.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:45, Reply)
Yeah, but my sprog's already going to learn English, Polish, German and possibly Russian
so I was wondering WHICH eastern european nanny would offer the best language practice. I reckon Romanian.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:53, Reply)
Romanian would be good. They have a thriving tech sector.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:56, Reply)
he needs to learn a valuable lesson here
that he can't always have what he wants.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:05, Reply)
you'll look back on seeing tmnt2 as the halcyon days when he eventually hates your guts

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:10, Reply)
oh I know

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:12, Reply)
quiet one tonight
Marco Pierre White's steakhouse for lunch then going to an old skool hip hop jam in Leytonstone, family day out

www.leytonstonefestival.org.uk/2016/07/02/elements-2/
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:06, Reply)
Watching my teams battle it out in the european csoccer tournament

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:11, Reply)
Going to the London
And mourning Townsend's decision to move to Crystal Palace.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:18, Reply)
Gonna go and see Andrei Rubilev on Saturday.
Aside from that, not much. Cook something nice. Drinking beer to free up some bottles for my homebrew.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:18, Reply)
Peter+
i Rubilev
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:45, Reply)
The barmaid in my old local paid about £600 for a meet and greet with Peter Andrei.
Apparently he was 'very polite'.

It was a back-stage line-up of fans as well, despite commanding the same sort of fee a high-class escort would charge.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:47, Reply)
Fucking hell
600 quid?? Who does he think he is? Mind you, more fool her for paying it.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:51, Reply)
Well, quite. I think someone here paid £1100 to meet Kiss backstage as well.
I think you got about £100 worth of tat back from it, but still.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:54, Reply)
I guess it comes down to whether or not YOU think it's worth the money
Not you specifically...you know what I mean.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:58, Reply)
Yeah, I know.
but still. Do you not think commanding over a grand for a few minutes of attention shows a bit of contempt for their fans?
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 11:00, Reply)
Many years ago I went to Index ('member Index, eh?) to buy my sister a Peter Andre doll for christmas
What with it being christmas, it was REALLY busy in there, so they came up with an idea of just bringing the orders out of the warehouse and shouting out what it was, then person would come to the front and collect their purchase.
Can you see where this is going, or do I need to continue?
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:50, Reply)
You met the real-life Nelson Muntz?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:51, Reply)
lol
Pretty much. There was more than one "ha ha" from the crowd
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:51, Reply)
Please tell me you made it worse by getting all defensive and shouting about it being a gift.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:55, Reply)
Of course I did
I tried to laugh it off, but I still felt compelled to explain that it wasn't for me.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:57, Reply)
lol, you onion.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:58, Reply)
Last day in Porto tomorrow, then back to the UK's miserable excuse for a summer.
Will probably drink some port.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:55, Reply)
I signed up to this website in 2008 and just found it again
Hi! I just found my login hiding in my emails and rediscovered this place.
Nice boards!
Nice people!
Nice pictures.

No idea how i found this website in the first place all of those years ago as a kid, but i'm glad i did. I love places like these more than most places on the interwebz.
Thanks for having me.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:11, Reply)
Notice how every single sentence you typed starts with "I"?
There's not really much for us to respond to if all you're going to do is witter on about yourself.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:13, Reply)

i've no idea what you're babbling about. i think you should elaborate.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:29, Reply)
you're talking about yourself non-stop, and nothing else
How about asking us a question?
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:40, Reply)

i'm not sure what to ask. i just got here. i'm not sure i'm talking just about myself. i think you have the wrong impression of me. i'm just playing.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:30, Reply)
You're very welcome

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:13, Reply)
Still hacking dormant accounts, eh Shambles?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:14, Reply)
No worries m8

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:14, Reply)
hi JacK_C
I have signed up for websites before as well
it's fun, isn't it?
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:15, Reply)

it's super! thanks for asking
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:26, Reply)
Hark at her!
The big I am
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:17, Reply)
Admit it
You are looking through your dead dads email for how long he was cheating on your mum and you found this login. It is true, we passed him around like a meat Piñata.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:17, Reply)

i knew about that already, it's one of his fondest memories he spoke about
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:28, Reply)
delete this pls

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:19, Reply)
?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:20, Reply)
He was a minor love interest of Grr's for 2 episodes
Before the writers couldn't find another way to include a door smacking him in the face. So there was a massive chip pan fire and the character was killed off... until now!
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:22, Reply)
you're the one with a love interest for minors m8

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:26, Reply)

oe. Love a manly man with a pick axe and a pasty.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:30, Reply)

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/New-10-20Pcs-Invisible-Breast-Nipple-Pasties-Cover-Nude-Bra-Pad-Adhesive-Sticker-/262323696152?var=&hash=item3d13b5f218:m:mEcmyaJZLE7R_CcKBqfb_Dg
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:31, Reply)
i'm not clicking that
last ebay link someone posted here was a signed pic of farage. now i get emails from ebay with similar products :(
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:35, Reply)
I did
I learned something from it, something I'll never mix up every again.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:37, Reply)
Hahaha
I had a similar experience but involving Amazon and actual Spam. The different varieties you can get are as spell-binding as they are nauseating.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:40, Reply)
I clicked it, but only because the url contained the words breast, nipple, nude and bra

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:51, Reply)
buy this breast bra for your nude nipples
i could be an advertising executive
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:51, Reply)
^ Jerry

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:56, Reply)
am i winning a nipply award?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 10:11, Reply)
*Audiable Gasp*

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:31, Reply)
you fucking gay spastic

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:23, Reply)
Nice to know that Rob's keeping busy during these trying times
twitter.com/robmanuel/status/748636740089421828
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:24, Reply)
why on earth would you keep your CDs stacked up on top of each other?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:52, Reply)
Oh, I get it!
JacK_C....Jacksie! Like an arse! Hahahah, that's good that.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:26, Reply)
It is, isn't it 'Two Hats'?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:28, Reply)
That is an urban legend

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:30, Reply)
I'm an urban legend m8

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:33, Reply)
Turban Fag End more like
*shrugs*
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:35, Reply)
bilbo baggins more like

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:36, Reply)
we kept your room just the way it was when you left

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:28, Reply)

empty and void of all meaning. thanks!
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:31, Reply)
yeah, i say room
it was more of a cell
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:37, Reply)
Uncle Frizl
misses you
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:46, Reply)
I found this site listed in an issue of FHM as "The best website on the internet"
Waaaaay back in the early 2000s, how times have changed.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:30, Reply)
jesus, really?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:35, Reply)
Yeah, sickening isn't it?
How dare the washed and clean cut masses publicize this haven of fucktards
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:37, Reply)
i had it recommended to me by the guy who sat next to me in computing at college
what a cunt, eh?
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:49, Reply)
it was my boss who introduced it to me
boy has that backfired on him
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:54, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 7:00, Reply)
Morning
Last day of my 20s, oo err etc.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 7:12, Reply)
tomorrow your joints will be fucked and your hair'll turn grey

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 7:18, Reply)
Can't wait
As a cynical old cunt I guess I need to start looking the part
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 7:21, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:04, Reply)
a fair welcome to you, McBeef of London

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:08, Reply)
suh dude

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:08, Reply)
nutin blud, suh witchoo?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:09, Reply)
life isn't like a box of chocolates, cause generally you know exactly what you're going to get when you buy some chocolates
it usually tells you all over the packaging.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:12, Reply)
yeah, but the box always contains at least one that you don't really like
but you eat it anyway because you've got nothing better to do.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:27, Reply)
Coffee cream, right guys?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:52, Reply)
I like the coffee creams...it's the strawberry ones I don't like
and orange fondant. Don't like orange fondant.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:55, Reply)
I agree with this stance
I'm not fond of fondant haha I don't know how I come up with these!
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:03, Reply)
haha, you nutter

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:05, Reply)
but being serious for a minute, this does mean that if you and I ever share a box of chocolates, there's likely to be ruction

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:07, Reply)
No, it's ok
You can pick first, I'll have what's left
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:08, Reply)
well ok, but it's only fair to warn you I'll snaffle all of the caramel ones

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:10, Reply)
coffee creams are great
praline is ming
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:55, Reply)
It's only the toffees that I tend to avoid.
I like toffee, but it's not what I want when I reach into a box of chocolates.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:03, Reply)
but you still know what it is
and you knew it'd be in there when you bought them
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:59, Reply)
also, you're all mouthwrongs

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:12, Reply)
A fox has pulled a empty pizza box out of the paper bin onto the back step and done a shit on it, I'm going back to bed

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:13, Reply)
that Samantha is a dirty cow

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:15, Reply)
i might complain to domino's

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:17, Reply)
This is ART.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:21, Reply)
hold on no one said this might happen, during the referendum campaign

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:27, Reply)
Remain has resorted to dirty protests now, sickening.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:39, Reply)
what a savage world we live in

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:47, Reply)
yeah, it was a hawaiian pizza

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:48, Reply)
eurgh

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:49, Reply)
In that case, I think the fox speaks for all of us.

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:51, Reply)

not all of us
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:56, Reply)
I don't want ham on it though

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:09, Reply)
Alright

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:19, Reply)
alright mmps

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:23, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:26, Reply)
pinch, punch, first day of the month
no returns
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:27, Reply)
ooh you rotter

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:27, Reply)
shake your fist at him

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:46, Reply)

fist money maker
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:48, Reply)
'sup

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:44, Reply)
*Ali G knuckle slap*

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:45, Reply)
what's happening?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:45, Reply)
Do not be alarmed.
The situation is under control
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:47, Reply)
i hope so

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:49, Reply)
Is it "benefit of the doubt" or "benefit of doubt"
See, I think it's the former...my phone thinks it's the latter
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:54, Reply)
benefit of the doubt

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:56, Reply)
Yeah, I thought so
My phone is a prick
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:57, Reply)
hey, come on now
it's only as good as the person using it
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:04, Reply)
I know :(

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:05, Reply)
you could give it the benefit of the doubt

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:06, Reply)


(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:08, Reply)
it's THE benefit of THE doubt

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:57, Reply)
shut up godby

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 8:59, Reply)
Are you Nicholas Parsons?

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:05, Reply)
Larry Grason more like

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:06, Reply)
Shut that window!

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:08, Reply)
Happy Comic Sans Day
Remember kids, just say no
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:00, Reply)
happy comic sans day, imtypingonakeyboard!

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:04, Reply)
Thanks SS!
But remember for every letter typed in Comic Sans a graphic designer dies.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:09, Reply)
*sets as default font for everything*

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:12, Reply)
Good morning, fellow /talk forum contributors.
Some nitwit has booked me at meeting for the end of the day. That's practically the weekend.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:06, Reply)
only wankers do that
everyone wants to leave on a Friday
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:08, Reply)
It's not a meeting that I'll be able to quietly fall asleep in, either.
I'll have to actively contribute to the discussion.

Might pull out my strap and waste some fools.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:11, Reply)
don't go

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:08, Reply)
please don't go

(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:09, Reply)
Don't...
Go away.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:10, Reply)
Morning
I booked a meeting for the end of the day. However, I will be providing beer...
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:19, Reply)
I don't think you and I work at the same place.
You work in that waiting room from the end of Beetlejuice, right?
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:21, Reply)
Coach?
I don't think we survived that crash.
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:24, Reply)
If I knew then, what I knew now
I would not have had my little "accident."
(, Fri 1 Jul 2016, 9:43, Reply)
Nos dah

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 23:51, Reply)
Russell Kane is on Question Time.
It's hard to buy in to the idea that he's a complete prick when he's sat next to Douglas Carswell.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 23:05, Reply)
Russell Kane makes me want to cry faeces

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 23:28, Reply)
Fuck

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 23:32, Reply)
It pains me to admit this, but he's doing better than most of the politicians on there.
Oh hang on, we're talking about Carswell and Thornberry and that tory I've never heard of. Carry on.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 23:39, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 21:04, Reply)
Yes

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 21:09, Reply)
good

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 21:19, Reply)
Sheepy got some mushrooms in. Girls have gone to the pub, I think tonight is going to be brilliant.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 21:22, Reply)
God, it's been yeeeeaars since I've had mushrooms.
Found some growing a few autumns ago, far too few to trip off sadly.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 22:09, Reply)
yeah, what's the mood like in holland or wherever it is over there you live?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 21:10, Reply)
I guess you could say...
...things are a bit flat!
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 21:17, Reply)
Not that I'd know, having left the place three years ago.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 21:17, Reply)
You seem well informed on the situation tho

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 21:41, Reply)
That'll be my expert knowledge of Netherlandish geography.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 22:08, Reply)
Hola

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 21:11, Reply)
Hoca-hola?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 21:17, Reply)
ish

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 21:16, Reply)
esque

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 21:18, Reply)
altight

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 21:35, Reply)
As the proverbial gnat's chuff.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 22:10, Reply)
hiya
just waiting to see if Ronaldo starts blooing like a baby
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 21:49, Reply)
#makeronaldocry

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 22:02, Reply)
that stupid fucking face he makes when he misses a goal or someone didn't pass to him
makes me want to knock his teeth out
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 22:10, Reply)
That's just his face, isn't it?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 22:13, Reply)
yeah

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 22:14, Reply)
If he just admited to being bent I'd respect him more

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 22:13, Reply)
he'll do that when he retires
he can't fuck up his branding yet
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 22:16, Reply)
He'll cry harder next match, unlucky poland

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 22:44, Reply)
High Tea

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 23:03, Reply)
No, more's the pity. :(

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 23:05, Reply)
transit of pluto through capricorn

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:40, Reply)
ford transit, ford capri, never heard of a ford pluto, fuck off mate
you could have had proton but you messed it up
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:40, Reply)
I still like that new capri

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:43, Reply)
I liked the Ford Probe.
Shame Coogan killed it.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:45, Reply)
I like the look of probes, but they were utter shite
especially compared to things like the Celica
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:48, Reply)
I'll bet they were.
I'm just a sucker for pop-up headlights.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:53, Reply)
I bet you are

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:18, Reply)

headlights pirates
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:21, Reply)
A wank, I think.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:33, Reply)
You've never gonna do doughnuts in macdonald's carpark in it, waste of time and money

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:48, Reply)
We haven't seen it yet, don't be so negative

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:18, Reply)
to be fair, it can't be any worse than the new scirocco
so alright
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:25, Reply)
I had a lift in one of them about 6 years ago. It's a golf with a crimped back.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:33, Reply)
I had a mk1 years ago in yellow, that cars never known what its supposed to be, I've tried newer ones because of affection from youth, never bought anothet

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:39, Reply)

gizmodo.com/magical-wheels-let-this-car-roll-in-any-direction-1782828935
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 22:12, Reply)
Alright grrrmachine

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:43, Reply)
alright sf

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:19, Reply)
rare rival to the bedford van or so i was told
also: www.motortrend.com/news/lane-motor-museum-oddball-cars/
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:55, Reply)
what was a rival
the ford probe?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:19, Reply)
This is
www.simoncars.co.uk/morriscv/slides/Morris%20Sherpa%201979%20Pickup.jpg
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:36, Reply)
it's not considered a car anymore,
now it's only a dwarf car
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 21:20, Reply)
is that like a saloon to hatchback?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 21:46, Reply)
Lewandowski scores, the city goes mental
On the one hand, it'll keep my baby awake, but on the other 2Can's spawn won't get any sleep either so it all balances out.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:19, Reply)
They've look good all the way through the tournament, slow and steady, keep formation and counter

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:26, Reply)
I'm well surprised
they were a sack of floppy shit four years ago
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:27, Reply)
I think hosting did that

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:30, Reply)
oops , 1 all

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:35, Reply)
Poles are a sensitive lot
that'll have wound them up and they'll fuck it all up now
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:44, Reply)
Half time, they just need to concentrate and leave dead balls, get crosses in from the wings, and a few more set pieces would be well handy #makeronaldocry

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 20:52, Reply)
Paging the board's tragic 'gamer' nerds
The eBay pricks sent me 'Sonic Classic Collection' not 'Sonic Colours'. I complained but looking online it's more expensive. Have I fucked up here, should I have kept quiet?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:41, Reply)
Who gives a shit

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:45, Reply)
We all do, thats this forums mo

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 18:52, Reply)
I didn't really like Sonic Colours.
The classics are better, imho. Plus you've probably got Mean Bean Machine, which is ace.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:51, Reply)
The problem with asking anyone here for advice is we all have the nostalgia element with the classics.
McBeef's kid wont have that.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:56, Reply)
We bought Colours for my brother, and he has the Classics collection, too.
My kids are only ever interested in playing the classics when they go to visit.
I know I argue with manolith about how rubbish old Nintendo games are, but my kids would take his side, every time. Never underestimate the appeal of old games to kids.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 18:00, Reply)
Also, 3D platforming is awful.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 18:01, Reply)
Never bothered with sonic 3d the first time round.
Mario 64 was alright.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 18:02, Reply)
Ape Escape put me off.
That and Tomb Raider (but for different reasons, that was just the most boring game ever).
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 18:08, Reply)
I tried playing Lemmings 3D, just really confusing and not a patch on the original.
Worms 3D looked a bit hard work, too.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 18:36, Reply)
Both those games were top of the 2d class. 3ding them just breaks them.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:08, Reply)
3D for the sake of it was always a mistake.
Not to mention that a lot of the low-poly, early 3D games looked horrible.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:18, Reply)
Starfox was space-age at the time with it's 3 polygons.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:24, Reply)
Had a go on that at some expo at the South Bank.
Was like trying to navigate a rubber duck through syrup.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:38, Reply)
sONIC sPINBALL

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 18:14, Reply)
I completed the GG version first before ever playing the MD one. Then when I went back to 8-bit I found it almost impossible.
#thatsnotinterestingrichard
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:20, Reply)
I don't think I ever made it past the second stage of Spinball.
Bought it on the Wii Virtual Console and fared no better, then found it become unplayable when I upgraded the console's video cable.
#thatsevenlessinterestingmm
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:23, Reply)
EVERYTHING is unplayable on the Wii.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:47, Reply)
Braun Oral-B Vitality Sonic is better imo

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:53, Reply)
Sonic is for gays

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:56, Reply)
^ prefers heavily mustachioed Italian men

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:57, Reply)
Alex KIDD more like.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:58, Reply)
Ha!

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 18:00, Reply)
TALES
Hahaha
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 18:07, Reply)
I make mistakes like that when my brain's clocking off for the day.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:07, Reply)
Sonic jewelry cleaners are rubbish

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 18:18, Reply)
You want to get her Daley Thompson's Decathlon m8

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 18:35, Reply)
Hyper sports was better

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 18:39, Reply)
Were you a joystick waggler or a keyboard masher?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:24, Reply)
KennethWilliams.jpg

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:25, Reply)
^ cord wangler

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:30, Reply)
Arcades machines we're buttons I believe

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:29, Reply)
There's really only one game a child of yours
is ever going to enjoy
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 18:53, Reply)
That gets a "lol" from me.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 19:16, Reply)
I dunno if they still work but R4 cards we're all the rage, used to be about 50 quid with hundreds of games

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 18:55, Reply)
Even cheaper now
www.r4wood.com/products/587-DS-Games-in-one-Card.html
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 18:59, Reply)
Just did a parp
AMA
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 16:37, Reply)
what did it smell of?
how did the people around you react?
was there any moisture?
have you done a trial wipe?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 16:40, Reply)
Thats an interesting questions
I'll answer the first one first and say I did do a bit of a shift in the old seat to see if there was a present left, and luckily my sphincter has held out on this occasion.

The smell? 3rd rate celeb perfume level. Base tones of cabbage, although I haven't had any in months.

The reaction was non-existent as we are all wearing headphones, it was a ripper but the DnB leak from cheap Apple headphones seems to have masked it.

Wetness? Well the balls drip a lot so there could be a pool forming of the two right now.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 16:49, Reply)
Ahh, the amount of times I've found myself doing confidence wipes in me local.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:13, Reply)
Nice of them to leave a roll of Nizoral by the pumps.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 18:09, Reply)
ELI5

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 16:47, Reply)
When food goes in the tummy, it gets squished down in tummy juices and passed along to the poop shoot
Air is made in the poop shoot packing time and the body needs to get rid of that air otherwise you would explode.

So it forces it out of yer butt. The fatter yer flaps the louder yer claps.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 16:52, Reply)
surely it's chute, not shoot

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:14, Reply)
Check out fancy biology PHD boy here
Using fancy terms
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:21, Reply)
Why don't you call it a guff like normal people do?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 16:56, Reply)
I thought I was being classy not calling it a high note on the bum trumpet
Guffs are common.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 16:59, Reply)
RIP guff, wiv da angles :'(

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:01, Reply)
Will be dropping another imminently
Prepare to shed another tear for that.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:02, Reply)
rip your yfronts :(

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:16, Reply)
Can confirm: am revolted

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:13, Reply)
have you got any tips for an aspiring young parper?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:13, Reply)
shit+fart=shart
Maybe yours will catch on?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:18, Reply)
have you ever seen the ancient youtube video of the pisshead who'd shat himself but tried to blag that he'd 'sat down in it at brighton'?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:21, Reply)
I've not, m8,no

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:23, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Srepqx3BgLA&feature=player_embedded
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:29, Reply)
gah

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:40, Reply)
Though it may sound easy, playing a parp can be a challenge because you must learn how to properly blow out of it it (anus). To play a guff, you must purse your lips tightly together and let them vibrate as you blow.
If that's not complicated enough, you also need to move your tongue at the same time.

To get 'buzzing' down, here are a few tips: Pretend there is a small piece of paper on the tip of your anus. Stick your tongue out slightly, and push out what feels like a baby bel from your arsehole, just the tip, and scrape the paper off your pants quickly. Your arse lips should catch each other, creating a sound similar to a 'raspberry'.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:20, Reply)
Parp parp the pricks do LARP
The parpers are guffing in town
Some in pants, the durty cants
And one with a streak of brown
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:16, Reply)
Still Stings best solo song

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:23, Reply)
I just spent £12 on 59 Mega Drive games because reasons
What pathetic things have YOU bought recently? You can say Lexi Belle if you want
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:55, Reply)
Mario Kart 64 £30
Bomberman 64 £26
Was so out of touch with retro buying that a younger colleague of mine laughed in my face when I complained CEX don't sell them anymore.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:58, Reply)
Classic games there, I played faaar too much Mario Kart 64 back in the day
Now to feel old - The release date of Mario Kart 64 is closer to the release date of the original Super Mario Bros. than the present day
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:59, Reply)
Compound that oldness with the fact that
Spice Girls' Wannabe will be 20 years old next Friday.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:04, Reply)
If ya wanna be my caregiver...

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:05, Reply)
That's either excellent value, or a fair price for the one good game that you actually wanted, plus 58 rubbish games.
I bought a pack of hobnobs at the beginning of the week.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:59, Reply)
As a big fan / massive nerd for the Mega Drive era of games I feel I got my moneys worth
Hobnobs = God Tier biscuits
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:04, Reply)
streets of rage 2 was like crack cocaine to me

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:05, Reply)
That's in there
This is what I bought
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:07, Reply)
doesn't have International Superstar Soccer Deluxe :(

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:09, Reply)
Or World Cup Italia '90 :(
But you can't have everything
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:10, Reply)
That and EA hockey were the bollocks on multiplayer.
I once got a mate so incensed he threw a discarded pot noodle carton and the dregs splattered all up his wall.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 16:31, Reply)
Quite similar to the mega drive clone I got,
except that you'll get to play with proper controllers, rather than dodgy IR affairs.

Road Rash 2 and Speedball 2 are unforgivable admissions, and I really should pick them up from eBay (and some proper controllers).
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:15, Reply)
Unless I get some sort of USB converter it'll be a bit difficult to plug Mega Drive pads into a PC
But the Steam versions have Xbox controller support, not perfect but it'll do I guess
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:18, Reply)
That's what I meant.
Proper modern controllers. I'm not fancying my chances with ancient, worn out mega drive paddles from eBay.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:23, Reply)
Yeah Mega Drive controllers were rubbish in hindsight, but its not like we had a choice back in the day
You're right as well, it's shocking that Road Rash, in any iteration, is absent from that bundle, I fucking loved the first one
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:37, Reply)
I used up most of my exam revision time playing Road Rash.
It helped make me what I am - a useless waste of space.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:54, Reply)
new one out soon

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:07, Reply)
Might have to quit my job.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 17:40, Reply)

ad o
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:23, Reply)
Roo Rash?
Was that an Australian farming/dating sim?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:26, Reply)
I bought a Gigabyte BRIX after realising that my old netbook was shit as a CarPC
I can't remember when I last bought a computer game. Might have been Black and White around 2002 or sutin
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:00, Reply)
You aren't missing anything - it says a lot about the industry when the Steam sales roll around and the only games that interest me are from 20+ years ago
Either it's gone to shit or I'm a jaded nostalgic twunt
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:06, Reply)
oh, since you said steam, I might have paid money for half life 2 instead of stealing it from online sources

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:08, Reply)
That's normally my go to as well, although recently I've been more willing to pay for games I've pirated and played shitloads of
As they clearly deserve my money if I've derived enough enjoyment from it. Case in point Morrowind and Pathologic
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:16, Reply)
pride to my work

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:03, Reply)
dunno what that is soz
Unless you mean lions, in which case I applaud your bravery and skill with animal husbandry
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:04, Reply)
^ German

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:06, Reply)
U2 on the office stereo

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:08, Reply)
A 24 hour one handed watch

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:14, Reply)
what do you do with it the next day?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:18, Reply)
Oh hahaha
www.slow-watches.com/slow-jo-26-grey-blue-nylon-silver-case-silver-dial.html
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:20, Reply)
I approve of the hand gesture they're modelling

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:24, Reply)
I can see it living in a draw to be honest but I needed a quick fix

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:27, Reply)
My Dad's retirement watch lived in a drawer
and he was really annoyed that it had stopped every time he wanted to wear it, so he took it back to the shop to complain and they told him it was a kinetic one.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:42, Reply)
my friend wound her automatic watch for years, same story, it stopped, took it to get the battery replaced and was laughed out of the shop, my daughter wants a battery watch as she hates having to set hers if she doesn't wear it, sadtimes

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:54, Reply)
The universal gesture for "wanker" might have been more appropriate.
That's only slightly more useful than a watch that only displays Hex.

[Edit: no offence intended, mongy.]
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:29, Reply)
It tells the time ok, I want an hour jump watch but got distracted

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:32, Reply)
I've had to Google what that is,
and now I can't decide if that's a better or worse idea for a timepiece.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:36, Reply)
load of history behind the hour jump, and i like the quirkiness they have, not sure i want to chuck a couple of grand at one yet tho

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:41, Reply)
These all seem to miss the point of analogue watches - that you can tell them time just by glancing at them.
Thought about going full steampunk and getting
a portable sundial?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:53, Reply)
meh, you want belt drive
www.devonworks.com/
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:56, Reply)
Only if it's the Darth Vader one!
Is it fair to say that we perfected the watch idea years ago, and all these "innovations" are just different ways of fucking it up?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 15:01, Reply)
people who make watches are like mad professors showing off their engineering skills, thats why they all still try and make watches with the most complications, even tho a cheap digital can do the same

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 15:04, Reply)
The local watch bloke round my parents way has a sideline working on the gubbins in guns.
He's got an apron that he buttons to the underside of his desk to stop all the pingfuckits going everywhere.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 15:24, Reply)
i couldn't even get bones out of operation
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfNOgWGME_c
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 15:29, Reply)
Nor me. My dad was an electronics engineer and the stuff interested me but my shovels were always to rubbish for soldering. Still are.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 15:32, Reply)
there you go, one for sale
www.chrono24.com/en/devon/devon-star-wars-limited-edition--id3958111.htm
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 15:06, Reply)
Might hold out for a Hello Kitty branded one.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 15:39, Reply)
i'll keep my eye on the big names see if they release one, at the moment it's snoopy from omega or mickey mouse from rolex

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 15:46, Reply)
Which hand?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:19, Reply)
I have pretty small wrists, but I've never had a watch that'd fit on both at once.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:23, Reply)
George Plimpton's Video Falconry

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:23, Reply)
^ son wanted Bonestorm

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:30, Reply)
Got Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge instead

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:35, Reply)
He was one of the people that wrestled Bobby Kennedy's assassin to the ground
Trufax
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:33, Reply)
I thought he was the one that could fart out of the alphabet up to the letter M

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:37, Reply)
Now THAT looks like a good game

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 14:38, Reply)
Bottle capping machine and VWP steriliser.
A used copy of The Psychopath Test for about £2.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 15:14, Reply)
Getting on the old homebrew eh?
I've wanted to give it a go, but worry that I'll end up with kegs of undrinkable guff
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 15:29, Reply)
I figured it was worth a punt. Plus I'm not very fussy.
They did try and sell me nicer/more expensive stuff with the kit but I figured the first batch was highly likely to be shite regardless.

The stuff has been going since Sunday and is hovering around 18 degrees. Which is a little low. If it tails off I might need an aquarium heater.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 15:34, Reply)
bottom get

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 15:23, Reply)
Ah, but did it cost you anything?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 15:30, Reply)
That's no way to run a conversation
What thing do you reckon you could significantly improve, and how?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:07, Reply)
my lats
by doing chin-ups
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:13, Reply)
NTT Awwww no prime minister boris yet then

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:20, Reply)
It is fine
They have a whole other raft of maniacal pricks to choose from, each one detestable in their own way.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:24, Reply)
i think we need lexi belle's opinion on this

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:29, Reply)
I've been hurt before, mongy.
I'm not going there again.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:34, Reply)
you reached for the stars tho

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:43, Reply)
You should have tried Annette Schwarz

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:22, Reply)
She's Crabb
Or she's got crabs. Not sure.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:35, Reply)
shut borders, open legs

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:39, Reply)
That gives me the (Fa)raging horn.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:56, Reply)
he was never going to get the support of the party

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:26, Reply)
depends on what tunes he started dropping

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:33, Reply)
it's all pre-programmed onto a memory stick
all that knob-twiddling is just for show - his mixer isn't even plugged in
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:36, Reply)
he's well into acid house

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:39, Reply)
Party hates him
London detests him (he is still being booed everywhere he goes apparently) so watch him sweep in when the party implodes in a few years time. He is the unflushable turd.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:35, Reply)
more like the hair in the plughole m8

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:35, Reply)
Nippon Telegraph & Telephone?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:30, Reply)
News Twat Time?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:48, Reply)
cool

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:33, Reply)
I'm sure Cameron is holding up his thumb and forefinger like an L
while making wanking gestures at him
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:35, Reply)
Fun fact, American sign language for 'El Passo' is literally forming an L shape with one hand and and having it pass an O shape with the other.
Making it a pretty good visual pun.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:42, Reply)
that's not really fun at all

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:47, Reply)
You make train videos on youtube and put computers you don't know how to work in cars.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:47, Reply)
My car computer works fine with Windows
8sec bootup with Win8.1, an SSD and a Gigabyte BRIX
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:02, Reply)


(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:18, Reply)
Why you bustin' my baws, Gigabyte BRIX?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:29, Reply)
I liked her work on Kurios Orange.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:42, Reply)
Good old Paul Putner.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:43, Reply)
I bet he's well jealous of Kevin Eldon's success as 'that funny guy whose had small parts in lots of stuff'.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:45, Reply)
I'm sure they've both done alright for themselves.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:52, Reply)
that IS fun

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:10, Reply)
A lot of fun
4.bp.blogspot.com/-4norUQGyL-g/U2APnauAZsI/AAAAAAAAB_M/qnvsCKK5EGg/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-04-29+at+21.45.28.png
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:24, Reply)
is it giro day?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:41, Reply)
No Derek it's not, but we've got our cakes and snouts

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:45, Reply)
*stands sadly in a skip*

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:54, Reply)
Looks like it's a shoe-in for civil liberty hating borderline-McCarthyist May.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:43, Reply)
She is the new Michael Howard
Makes me miss Bremner, Bird, and Fortune
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:49, Reply)
This thread.
By being in it.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:19, Reply)
monster munch
by being in him
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:22, Reply)
you wear him well

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:05, Reply)
my balls
by doing T-Bags
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:22, Reply)
the teabagging bit was the only part that raised a smile when I watched Deadpool
I don't think it's a very good film really
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:27, Reply)
It made me laugh.
It was a very silly film, just like I'd hoped it would be.
Did you not even get a chuckle out of him busting his extremities whilst trying to fight Colossus?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:40, Reply)
not really
after the first wrist break it was inevitable what was coming next, and I don't laugh if I can see the joke coming from seventeen miles away
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:47, Reply)
Slapstick's not really your thing, then?
I can see why the film might have left you cold, in that case.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:50, Reply)
that film wasn't slapstick in the slightest
it was just a vehicle to collate as many popculture references as possible into the shortest possible timeframe so that college-aged bros could high-five eachother at every in-joke.

I suppose it doesn't help that I've loathed Ryan Reynolds from the day he was conceived
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:53, Reply)
I warmed to him after he did Blade 3 and Green Lantern.
He's a good fit for comic book roles, so it was a shame to see him wasted in Wolverine.

There was plenty of slapstick in Deadpool, I think that was it's main selling point.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:59, Reply)
I'm sure it's not a bad film
but I think it's my last superhero movie. They all leave me cold, and I haven't actively enjoyed one since the first Iron Man.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:00, Reply)
Fair enough.
I've been pretty happy with the MCU films, so far, and the last couple of X-Men were rather good. It's all got the potential go off the rails during Infinity War, though.
I'm just pleased that I'm finally getting to see films with the entertainment value of Saturday morning cartoons.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:05, Reply)
Conversely, I've hated him since Blade 3.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:50, Reply)
Stuff like Van Wilder made me hate him,
but he was the one saving grace of Blade 3 - there aren't many Hollywood actors who could convincingly deliver the "cock-juggling thundercunt" line.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:08, Reply)
Nothing saves it, the whole thing is a fucking travesty

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:35, Reply)
I thought I could improve this thread by not replying to it, but it didn't work

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:35, Reply)
oh i don't know, do i
it frequently seems like i could do my boss' job better than he can
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:38, Reply)
I'm sure most people feel like that
right up until the point where they get promoted
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:48, Reply)
my boss is an actual nutcase though
it's a long story but basically he gets to keep his job because his staff do it for him. he's incapable
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:50, Reply)
I think mine does that; he passes all his duties onto the team leads, telling them it's good experience.
They lap it up.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:00, Reply)
mine isn't clever enough for that
we just have too much professional pride to let him steer the whole facility into a fucking mountain
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:08, Reply)
Oh, mine isn't doing it out of ineptitude.
But after communicating exclusively through team leads and making them manage the projects (something I've no interest in) complaining I don't know anything about the general goings on of projects when he whisks me into a teleconfrence because the lead is on holiday is a bit fucking rich.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:16, Reply)
You work at Black Mesa?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:53, Reply)
lol
I think I bought HL2 a couple of years after it came out. Still not played it. Dunno where the disc is now.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:55, Reply)
It still baffles me that the Half Life games cost money on Steam
after all this time you'd think Valve would give them away for free, if only to showcase where they came from.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:01, Reply)
well they gave portal and tf2 away for free
i played hl2 and the first episode as part of the orange box but couldn't be bothered finishing episode 2
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:09, Reply)
True, I just find it a bit silly that they still charge £7 something for the original HL1 when HL:Source is cheaper
It'd be an incentive, sort of like a starter to your library as a new user, if they had stuff like HL1 and expansions, HL2 standalone, Team Fortress, etc. its not like they make a huge amount of revenue off these games surely?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:38, Reply)
Come to think of it, I didn't bother completing half-life as all my mates said there was no point in continuing after you got to Xen

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:16, Reply)
There isn't really, the game falls apart by throwing the mechanics out of the window and forcing some dodgy first person platforming
Followed by two really obscure bosses. You aren't missing much, both Half Life games suffer from this problem of the ending running out of Steam (pun intended), although the supplementary episodes for HL2 help rectify that a bit
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:35, Reply)
Yeah. I think I fell to my death a few times and said 'fuck this'.
My mates all said it was shit so I didn't get called out in the playground for fucking it off.

Then I completed Kingpin instead.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:45, Reply)
that was a joke. haha. fat chance.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:09, Reply)
It's true, I wasn't a bad manager of people, but I hated the paperwork. So I'd always employ a bookish assistant manager and we'd be a good team.
A lot of management problem seems to be the inability to delegate out or even recognise use their weaknesses. My boss could significantly improve by just writing things down, as it is we have to ask 3 times to get orders processed and job tickets put on.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:50, Reply)
Mine would improve the office significantly by not only talking to his team leads and only in meeting rooms.
It creates a culture of chinese whispers and eavesdropping.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:01, Reply)
Phone for twats
To possibly get an anti-twat feature.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:39, Reply)
that won't stop it though

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:42, Reply)
Nothing will stop them
Twats find a way
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:43, Reply)
I'm sure that will never be used to stop people filming police brutality

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:44, Reply)
I didn't realise that phones even still had IR receivers.
It's all a bit pre-millenial.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:48, Reply)
If it's an actual IR receiver then you'd just need to cover it with your thumb.
There's an implication that it could be done through the camera sensor itself, but that'd require removing the IR filter.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:03, Reply)
Seems like a compelling reason not to own a iPhone.
The camera lens as an attack vector for malware is absurd.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:07, Reply)
I suppose it already is with QR codes.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:13, Reply)
Yeah, but you have to scan those yourself, then approve your browser being directed to www.totallynotmalware.com.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:26, Reply)
I doubt the IR will be executable. Probably just some known code that says 'don't photograph me'.
Might be able to have some fun with it using a universal remote and a tourist hotspot.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:28, Reply)
How dare people take pictures to remind themselves of something that they probably paid through the nose to enjoy?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:45, Reply)
although you are more likely to remember something if you allow yourself to experience it instead of trying to capture the moment in pictures

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:51, Reply)
Unless you have Alzheimers
People who video at concerts are twats.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:52, Reply)
It's okay, I don't have Alzheimer's.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:09, Reply)
it's a bit worse than that though, isn't it
you get people who hold an ipad up above their head for entire sections of gigs. or illegally record a film.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:53, Reply)
Yeah, I've never really understood the need to video a concert,
given that all you get is a blurry film with shit audio.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:00, Reply)
to upload onto social media
if people don't know you did a thing, you might as well have not done the thing at all
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:09, Reply)
I don't see why a picture wouldn't suffice for that,
but then I'm an old man, and this is all very confusing for me.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:23, Reply)
That'll be great
right up until police offers have such IR transmitters built in to their uniforms/permanent equipment, or within all government offices, or at all political rallies etc etc
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:49, Reply)
It is dumb technology
And already superseded. But some southern states senator will demand this shit to stop pedophiles in toilets or some shit. And then we'll laugh, and continue on living.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:55, Reply)
old developed camera film works as an IR filter
so couldn't you just stick a slice of that over the phone's camera lens?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:59, Reply)
Wrong way round I think grry. There's a few mods for taking IR pictures by pulling the ir filter out of a dslr and filtering out the visible range with camera film.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:04, Reply)
oops, my mistake then
is that how they filmed the blackface sections of Die Antwoord's 'Fatty Boom Boom' then?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:10, Reply)
i've done no such thing

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:12, Reply)
I could definitely improve my health by doing some actual exercise.
But I am very lazy.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:48, Reply)
I seem to have lost weight whilst pigging out on crisis and chocolate bars.
Might pen a fad diet book, cash in on my metabolism.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:52, Reply)
Yeah, definitely meant to write "crisis" and not "crisps" because that's totally coherent and not gibberish in context at all.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:53, Reply)
it's a pity you didn't lose any of that weight from your fat fingers

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:55, Reply)
Ironically, I have tiny hands and slender digits.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:06, Reply)
lol girl's hands

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:09, Reply)
I blame them for my lack of proficiency on the guitar.
They're pretty wrinkly, too. I have nan hands.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:28, Reply)
yeah, this
when i used to run regularly i was in reasonably good shape , y'know for a giant hairball. but now i can't see the point in anything so i'm pudging up a bit.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:55, Reply)
I maintain practical game condition at all times

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:58, Reply)
yeah, but the game is world of warcraft

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:11, Reply)
woah

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:41, Reply)
I'm getting fed up of thick people priggishly talking about it as if it's spiritually enlightening.
Everyone I know exercises because they're bored but it's made out to be an active-person thing. These people have nothing going on in their heads so literally just start running.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:47, Reply)
My bloody Marys
with a little celery salt.

(must buy some)
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:51, Reply)
I've got a Bloody Mary story
would you like the long or short version?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:55, Reply)
neither

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:57, Reply)
done and done

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:01, Reply)
Can we just have the punchline
and make up the rest?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:49, Reply)
they served it in a shotglass

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:52, Reply)


(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:55, Reply)
the world
with love
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:58, Reply)
bit gay

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:59, Reply)
He's going to bum us all if we like it or not

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:07, Reply)
I better get some wet wipes first

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:08, Reply)
it's for the greater good

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:10, Reply)

The greater good
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:29, Reply)
The UK
a massive bulldozer and sarin gas
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:51, Reply)

sarin VX
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 11:59, Reply)

gas +S, +F
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:04, Reply)
last

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:25, Reply)
I'm going to have need to have drunk 24 bottles of beer by next weekend if I've any hope of bottling my homebrew.
Seems doable.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 12:54, Reply)
Next weekend? Piece of piss that

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:34, Reply)
That's what I thought.
Friday/Sat will probably see me half-way through the target.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 13:43, Reply)
Shove it up your arse

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:06, Reply)
cucumber up the bum?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:07, Reply)
the only clown around here is you m8

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:10, Reply)
^ doesn't have to leave town

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:11, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7957865
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:16, Reply)
This board's unofficial motto.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:23, Reply)

otto ascot
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:36, Reply)
No, why don't you shove it up my arse eh

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:11, Reply)
^ canada fetish

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:17, Reply)
Between Rogerhithe and Saucy Quays on the Overground

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:20, Reply)
NEXT STATION:
Fapping
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:21, Reply)
Then Shagwell

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:27, Reply)
PAWChapel

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:34, Reply)
Hoxtongue my balls

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:44, Reply)
skipping Soredick, direct route to Shaggerston

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:45, Reply)
you do realise whats going to happen in a bit

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:48, Reply)
Mornington Crescent!

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:49, Reply)
+ Wood

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:49, Reply)
But she probably woodn't.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:50, Reply)
I live right next to Shaggerston Station, fact fans

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:52, Reply)
I don't believe that's a real place.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:54, Reply)
It's one stop before Ballstongue Junction

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:04, Reply)
Your tenure as tfl station announcer was short-lived, wasn't it?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 10:09, Reply)
I don't believe you're a real person.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:58, Reply)
^ Wee Street

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:59, Reply)
I'm not confident enough to do that unsupervised

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:15, Reply)
I would but there's no room

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:21, Reply)
Strong tagline for Gove's campaign

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:30, Reply)
What is it?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:55, Reply)
morning
I gave you a lie-in today, I think you've earned it
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 7:25, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 7:28, Reply)
alright sf
so how do you know the train hit two dogs? Did you all go for a tour of the carnage afterwards?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 7:33, Reply)
He was driving
The dogs belonged to the woman
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 7:44, Reply)
I was stood right behind the drivers cabin chatting to the woman of my dreams
When the train stopped at the station some guy came out to unlock the doors and I asked him what we hit.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:47, Reply)
He's hardly going to tell passengers that it was a suicidal human.
Just saying.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:51, Reply)
When someone tops themselves on the tube they say 'person on the tracks'

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:00, Reply)
Then they give out the twitter handle of a close family member so travelers can tweet their disgust.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:03, Reply)
Last time I was in the smoke the train in front of us killed someone
I looked for news of it when I got home, barely a mention by the Standard
But while looking it became apparent just how regular an occurence this is :(((
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:03, Reply)
yeah and they regularly announce 'fatalities' on south west train lines
like it's mortal kombat or sutin
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:05, Reply)
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is a station announcement:
Hara Kiri!"
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:18, Reply)
That's all very well
But had you finished telling this woman of your dreams how to get to wherever she was asking about?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:01, Reply)
are you going to have a baby with this one as well?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:02, Reply)
Morning Grrry, and cheers
You should run for Labour leader or something #topical
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 7:42, Reply)
I should
I'm as unelectable as Kinnock, Brown, Milliband AND Corbyn, all rolled in to one
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 7:45, Reply)

unelectable SEXY
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 7:58, Reply)
I'm as sexy as all four of them, naked, rolling around on the UK's gold stockpile that Brown sold off

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:03, Reply)
If John Smith hadn't died, we could have had the most genetically named PM ever.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:06, Reply)
because mild ale can modify your DNA?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:08, Reply)
I'm resolved to accept Google's amendments to my spelling.
They must know what's best for me.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:11, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 7:57, Reply)
morning MONO
I hope this day finds you well?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 7:58, Reply)
nope, not at all
you?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:25, Reply)
in increased agony due to my mysterious ailment
I'm using a crutch today
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:59, Reply)
it's not that mysterious
old age happens to all of us, embrace it
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:04, Reply)
FANNY FARTS

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:01, Reply)
QUIM QUEEFS

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:03, Reply)
MUFF GUFFS

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:04, Reply)
TWAT GAS

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:07, Reply)
High point of Nine Inch Nails' "Wish", right here

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:16, Reply)
CLUNGE CHUFFS

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:52, Reply)
This sounds like an alternative lyric to
We didn't start the fire by Billy Joel
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:53, Reply)
WE DIDN'T MAKE THAT RUDE NOISE
BUT WE'RE ALWAYS GIGGLING WHEN HER SKIRT STARTS RIPPLING
oh so you like comedy songs when they're about fanny farts, you fucking pricks
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:58, Reply)
I think we're onto something here...

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:05, Reply)
Typical relaxed attitude to your duties.
You ex-pats make me sick. No doubt you're claiming unemployment benefits from the British system whilst living the life of luxury in Poland thanks to the high value of the Pound.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:08, Reply)
GBP-PLN is currently 5.3zlotys to the pound
It was 6.7 when I moved here, and 4.1 in 2008, so Brexit has barely rocked the boat as far as I'm concerned.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:09, Reply)
I knew it.
You're no better than those pensioners claiming winter fuel allowance whilst living out their days on the Costa del Sol.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:14, Reply)
thanks

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:29, Reply)
you're welcome

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:44, Reply)

i.imgur.com/opBPhu7.jpg
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:33, Reply)
bit hypocritical
calling someone else a twat while riding a bicycle
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:44, Reply)
Cheers

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:36, Reply)
skol

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:45, Reply)
can I go back to bed then?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:43, Reply)
not with your pants on

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:44, Reply)
deal

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:45, Reply)
PANTS & ASS

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:50, Reply)
so true

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:52, Reply)
sure, make yourself some toast and a cup of tea too

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:45, Reply)
I was thinking more of sleeping
and maybe touching my winky a bit
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:02, Reply)
Happy social media day to you
Snapchat this shit, or something.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:46, Reply)
I'm trending

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:52, Reply)
Which one
Is you?. You are Theresa May aintcha.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:57, Reply)
you got me
I'm Mary Seacole
(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:59, Reply)
Hi Alvin Toffler

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:03, Reply)
#internationalcuntday

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:59, Reply)
Didn't know you could have personalised hashtags

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:16, Reply)
alright dudes

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:50, Reply)
dude

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:52, Reply)
FELLAH

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:54, Reply)
alright sheamus

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:07, Reply)
^ some kind of Irish monk

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:12, Reply)
^a dick, man

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:21, Reply)
holly olly olly

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:57, Reply)
Hey yo yo

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:58, Reply)
totally radical

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:00, Reply)
Morning

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:53, Reply)
#goodmorning

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 8:55, Reply)
good morning garidead

(, Thu 30 Jun 2016, 9:00, Reply)

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