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Missed my 13th candle day by nine days. :(
Why are you :(?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:08, Reply)
You don't wanna know

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:17, Reply)
bitches

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:20, Reply)
aaigh

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:20, Reply)
I am in Southend.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:21, Reply)
Tough break, dude!

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:23, Reply)
I am in a hotel that Laurel and Hardy stayed in.
There's a plaque and everything.

Pair of cunts
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:28, Reply)
whatevs, read this lovely story about them visiting Cork and imagine having a day that happy to look back on
Housewives going about their daily shopping on The Beach, Cobh’s main thoroughfare, first thought they were detecting the sound of distant thunder, but with the addition of youngsters’ exuberant voices it soon became obvious that the town’s schoolchildren were rushing down West View hill en route to the railway station where passengers from the liners disembarked. As my best friend was Seán O’Mahony and his parents managed the Royal Cork Yacht Club, I was able to get on to the balcony of the building, which commands a fine close-up view of the harbour. When the tender taking the passengers ashore from the liner passed we waved and shouted and repeatedly rang a ship’s bell in welcome, just as everyone else of the thousands lining the waterfront were similarly engaged. The two film stars were completely taken aback by the sheer ecstasy of their reception and in the years left to them never tired of reminiscing about that Wednesday, September 9 1953:

“The docks were swarming with many hundreds of people. ‘It’s strange, a strange thing,’ Stan says in recalling that day, ‘our popularity has lasted so long. Our last good pictures were made in the thirties, and you’d think people would forget, but they don’t. The love and affection we found that day at Cobh was simply unbelievable. There were hundreds of boats blowing whistles and mobs and mobs of people screaming on the docks. We just couldn’t understand what it was all about. And then something happened that I can never forget. All the church bells in Cobh started to ring out our theme song, and Babe looked at me, and we cried. Maybe people loved us and our pictures because we put so much love in them. I don’t know. I’ll never forget that day. Never”.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:08, Reply)
I am not reading all that shit vlad

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:28, Reply)
OK, it's OK, don't stress yourself

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:45, Reply)
Aww that's lovely vlad, thanks for sharing.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:39, Reply)

you're welcome Mr. Tea, I just love that story
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:47, Reply)
I think the difference in the two replies you got is indicative of...something or other.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:47, Reply)
pffft
inorite :)
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:48, Reply)
You fucking luvvie

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:52, Reply)
Bugger all on telly
might as well go to bed now.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:21, Reply)
Why not
make your own entertainment?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:23, Reply)
*grabs box of tissues*

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:24, Reply)
If you're doing origami or making puppets for a play, I'd recommend some stiff, thin card, rather than tissues.
HTH.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:32, Reply)
I'm sure he could stiffen them up a bit.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:34, Reply)
alright 'david byrne'

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:28, Reply)


(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:41, Reply)

   
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:45, Reply)
Just because

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:45, Reply)
yeah why not

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:48, Reply)
I've just done a lovely dinner for ladypig and her mum,
Mother in law asked me to put Joe Bonnamassa on and then left to get dessert.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:02, Reply)
Good girl, getting the sniff in

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:06, Reply)
I wish mate.
Best we can hope for is some cheesecake. Am I having a quick spliff while she's gone though, bloody cold.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:10, Reply)
Get her to blow some 'm-kat' up yer bum'ole

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:17, Reply)
Ha, see post below.
When I introduced my brother to ladypig mum he started hitting on her and I had to tell him to pack it in.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:18, Reply)
Pack it in her ass, good advice

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:25, Reply)
Imagine if my brother was also my father in law

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:34, Reply)
+and poo come out ur helmit

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:37, Reply)
Well, yeah, of course.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:40, Reply)
standard

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:40, Reply)
Ha, christ, I remember all the papers a few years ago going nuts about "m-kat" this and "bubbles" that. It was like 'cake', only for real.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:40, Reply)
It's a fookin disgrace

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:43, Reply)
one girl threw up her pelvis bone

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 21:06, Reply)
Gah, all this drug talk has got me jonesing.
But all I've got are some really strong pills, which might not be too clever on a normal Tuesday night with work the next day.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:13, Reply)
That's not ideal

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:16, Reply)
Sheepy is going to post me some mephedrone.
Not had that before.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:17, Reply)
It's awful

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:20, Reply)
It really is.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:23, Reply)
It's shit speed , I blame the governments , speed was everywhere, then it got fucked up , class a , bollox

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:25, Reply)
Arse gay more like

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:25, Reply)
Speed was shit enough. The comedowns/staring at the ceiling unable to sleep always made it not worth it.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:28, Reply)
Don't think you can blame the chemist for that , perhaps get on it earlier
👌
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:48, Reply)
Or have something with a name ending in -pam handy for afters.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:56, Reply)
Might not bother with it then.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:34, Reply)
Good lad

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:40, Reply)
Nah it's only meth that's A, regular amph is still B.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:41, Reply)
It wasn't even that, drs sold it, diet pills

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:45, Reply)
Oh I see what you mean.
Nah I thought they made meph class B too, unless they've made it A since then. Killjoy wankers.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:55, Reply)
Even if it's class b it's shit, people feed it to their kids in medication, dab of wizz to clean the windows ain't gonna kill you, meth will

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 21:12, Reply)
Oh I dunno, I'm still alive.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 21:19, Reply)
I dunno, I had a lot of fun on that for a while.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:40, Reply)
I think you're looking at these things the wrong way round.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:16, Reply)
Yeah he shouldn't let the straights tell him when and when he can't PARDAYYY

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:20, Reply)
I'll be in bed by 10 after a couple more glasses of wine

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:30, Reply)
No thread for hours? shape up, wankers
I'm trying my hand at seekh kebabs tonight, woo. This week is a write off as far as 3 days off the drink is concerned, fuck that bollocks.

How will you be spending your evening, you boring shitwads?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 17:47, Reply)
I'm up the boozer , I'll get home with foood and watch the footy while smoking solid , usual stuff

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 17:49, Reply)
Still hankering after a big nugget of hash
Buying wanker score bags of bud off kids is doing my head in
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:31, Reply)
I'll ask about , I might even have to get dealing again myself as my source is dropping out and I can only buy a bar at a time

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:33, Reply)
I got this text today,dunno the fella , good maths tho
Banging ami 20 bags 7 grams 60 half once 120 z 220 your one stop cronic shop also banging work 25s and 50s big deals
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:35, Reply)
can you explain this to us non-blayzers?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:42, Reply)
First bits weed, second bits coke, the only deal is an Oz , save 20 quid

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:45, Reply)
The 20s I'm getting off these pricks are about 1.5g and it's mediocre at best
It's humiliating
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:59, Reply)
My coke lad is a tenner per .1 but it's superb
Never been shit once in getting on 15 years
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:03, Reply)
I'll split one with you

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:56, Reply)
Can do mate, let me see how it pans out , should know soon , I didn't want to go back serving up , but in for a penny

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:15, Reply)
This

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:51, Reply)
Does this mean you hang about the school gates,
asking kids if they want to sell some drugs?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:53, Reply)
In my case it's even more lame
Waiting in freezing parks for 'innit blud' Asians on mountain bikes
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:04, Reply)
This has so tickled me, that I'm switching my opinion from "pro legalisation" to "continued prohibition".
Sorry, Rich.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:10, Reply)
but only for mcbeef

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:12, Reply)
That'd be ideal.
No doubt he'd try a variety of disguises to try to buy from a licensed dispensary, only to be turfed back onto the street.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:17, Reply)
With hilarious consequences, no doubt.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:20, Reply)
It's only worthwhile if hilarity ensues.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:33, Reply)
Hey guys, bullying isn't cool ok

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:09, Reply)
Yeah but it can be very funny.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 20:14, Reply)
Tidying up an Autodesk model, £7 per hour

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 17:56, Reply)
nice

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:06, Reply)
I wish I had the want to do anything remotely productive after work.
I simply can't bring myself to do it.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:10, Reply)
Might have a go at reinstalling Win7 on my brothers netbook.
Or I might properly blank it and put some flavour of Linux on there.
Or I might leave it for another day.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 17:59, Reply)
Kali

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:21, Reply)
Shiva.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:32, Reply)
reading and darts

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:06, Reply)
I only really drink at the weekend
like a classic weekend warrior
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:07, Reply)
shit

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:08, Reply)
yeah

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:08, Reply)
I'm disappointed we can no longer be online friends

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:15, Reply)
Me too, I thought he was alright. Shows you never can tell

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:32, Reply)
^^^
C'est la Vie, said the old folks
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:41, Reply)
Is this an AA meeting?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:51, Reply)
I had to stop weekdays
I was feeling too shit first thing in the mornings
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:11, Reply)
I'd like to think that my threads are good enough to warrant a few hours debate.
A mass debate, if you will.

Tonight is pretty boring. Bit of cooking (chicken BREAST in mushroom sauce, with veg), and watching some more of American Horror Story: Roanoke.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:15, Reply)

veg vag
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:29, Reply)
I don't think you know me too well, hun.
(Elaine Pagezzzzzzzzz)
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:31, Reply)
I've been meaning to check AHS out.
Esp the Story based on HH Holmes as I read a really interesting book on him and Daniel H Burnam last year.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:33, Reply)
Series 5 that one... Hotel.
Not one of the best in my opinion, but still entertaining.

each series is a new story, so you can watch any one to begin with
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:44, Reply)
Never made seekh kebabs, although I've done koftas which are kiiiind of similar?
Playing plinky plonky music and getting bitned bout to watch football
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:51, Reply)
Koftas i'm an old hand at
Seekhs have a kneading technique which makes the texture different, not to mention the spicing. According to t3h interwebz...
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 19:01, Reply)
John Finnemore is on the radio.
He's good, because his comedy is just clever enough to make me feel clever for enjoying it, but not so clever that I don't get it.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 18:54, Reply)
Sick of these rude lurkers, stomping over our clean and pleasant land...
Brexit will get you all.

Cunts.

Anyone have any nice lunch?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:17, Reply)
my kid just had a mugshot taken for its first official document
Wife wouldn't let me dress it in a black and white striped top, prison style.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:20, Reply)
it, lol
Poor thing.

Was it an amusing tshirt?
"If you think Im cute, you should see my Dad"
(I actually had that one)
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:23, Reply)
I try to keep it away from that sort of shit
it's demeaning.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:24, Reply)
We put the twins in
something like these.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:28, Reply)
Seuss was a con artist, a shit rhymer, a terrible artist, unimaginative and probably a paedo
You should be ashamed of yourself.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:31, Reply)
The boy was probably toddling around in a Ramones T-shirt, at the time.
My only regret is that he was better dressed than I was.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:33, Reply)
^ ass king

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:40, Reply)
You're in for such a slippering, when I get home.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:43, Reply)
What, pronouns?
Didn't have you down as one of those gender fluid types
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:55, Reply)
warsaw ghetto style more like

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:24, Reply)
that's not how the ghetto worked m8

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:25, Reply)
don't tell me about in the ghetto, in the ghetto

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:34, Reply)

gh N
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:42, Reply)
went to Lidl this weekend
good steaks, fresh bread, everything else was awful
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:47, Reply)
^ what's blue and yellow and attached to a tight cunt

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:01, Reply)
Their black forest ham is exemplary

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:22, Reply)

black forest 50p
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:24, Reply)
pffft

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:26, Reply)
Oh shit, this'll upset Grrrmachine
www.hotukdeals.com/deals/18-double-decker-chocolate-bars-3-instore-lidl-2601685
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:27, Reply)
:( post me some pls

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:35, Reply)
Always the same, it's never the full size ones :(

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:36, Reply)
18, m8
18
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:38, Reply)
PSY's tapping into the Eastern European market.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:43, Reply)
Fishcake

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:28, Reply)
Alright, Mike.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:30, Reply)
I'll do it for 11p

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:30, Reply)
So Ive heard, you dirty bollix

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:32, Reply)
5p mates rates

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:37, Reply)
Sainsburys just sold me a Christmas ham worth £10 for 50p. Good until the 11th of Jan. That was lunch sorted.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:32, Reply)
you don't need to belittle others to feel better about yourself m8

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:35, Reply)
I do

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:37, Reply)
that's because you don't have any positive characteristics to feel good about, m8
but you have my sympathy
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:39, Reply)
that's true

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:11, Reply)
Mind you, I had this photo taken of me last time I went on holiday
so who's the loser now???

i.imgur.com/niy8rwM.jpg
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:21, Reply)
"Hold the Date With The Lakers Girls, I'm only here for the Lunch."

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:27, Reply)
Glad he's keeping himself busy
twitter.com/robmanuel/status/821035340739776512
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:36, Reply)
11:38PM
twitter.com/robmanuel/status/821139716154261507
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:37, Reply)
"Wait....I think...yes....YES....I've made up a joke! TO TWITTER!"

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:39, Reply)
It's all he has left :(

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:43, Reply)
MS-KUNT - that cheating harpy!

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:46, Reply)
Shows as 3:38 for me.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:42, Reply)
What is this shit?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:08, Reply)
teh ginger fuhrer!!!!
haha teh!
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:11, Reply)
haha, glasscock!!

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:23, Reply)
Didn't he used to be funny, though?
Maybe I was just more childish.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:23, Reply)
Since his wife left and took the kids
he's lost a lot of his sparkle
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:24, Reply)
I can understand the loss of the wife being a pain,
but I imagine I'd perk right up at the loss of the children.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:26, Reply)
oh man imagine if she'd left him, but he still had to have the kids

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:33, Reply)
i live in fear of my ex wife dying and me having to look after my kids

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:50, Reply)
tbf the stovies I've just got from the bakery were half price.
I fear I'm turning into rob.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:36, Reply)
It's the 17th, m8

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:37, Reply)
Out of date pork product, history of incontinence
What could possibly go wrong?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:41, Reply)
Have you read about the lifecycle of flukes
they are pretty fascinating creatures...
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:50, Reply)
Surely it was worth 50p
That's like buying an old car for £500 and claiming that it's worth £20k 'cos that's what a new one sells for.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:12, Reply)
Undeniably.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:37, Reply)
alright dzee

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:39, Reply)
hi dzee, hi

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:45, Reply)
bottom get

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:43, Reply)
Homemade Thai Yellow Curry, was rather dece
Not normally a fan of coconut curries but there was enough chilli and lemongrass to placate that
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:03, Reply)
I quite like Thai curries, but had a brown one once and it was like rusty water on a plate.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:11, Reply)
Same, I was a bit wary as I've never had a nice green curry and the red ones I've tried weren't amazing
But yeah it was quite nice, like a spicier version of a korma
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:29, Reply)
uber soz

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:13, Reply)
not so good after all
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-38651041
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:19, Reply)
lol
"A good willy these days is hard to find," sang Feargal Sharkey
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:21, Reply)
lol, "willie"!
Not lol, "rape".
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:25, Reply)
Oh, I quite agree
there are parts of that story to laugh at, others...not so much.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:26, Reply)
I'm gonna focus on the willie, as per.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:31, Reply)
I don't blame you

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:31, Reply)
Willie he remember?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:34, Reply)
I'm not convinced this so-called 'civil rape' is any more polite than the ordinary kind

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:35, Reply)
What's so civil about rape anyway?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:39, Reply)
strangers are just friends you haven't yet forced unwanted sexual intercourse on

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:54, Reply)
that's beautiful

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:58, Reply)
I've always found civil servants to be much ruder than regular servants

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:40, Reply)
Nope
Hello all. How do's?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:32, Reply)
alright imtypingonakeyboard

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:39, Reply)
Alright 2H
I bet I have been missing gold haven't I? Damn work getting in the way of loafing
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:42, Reply)
Oh, it's been all go over here

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:43, Reply)

g po
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:45, Reply)
that's well disgusting, m8

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:48, Reply)
He's a scat man

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 16:05, Reply)
Ski-Ba-Poop-Ba-Poo-Poo

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 16:07, Reply)
chicken. i like chicken.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 16:53, Reply)
^ this

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 16:54, Reply)
Chicken thighs, chilli sauce and rice is fast becoming my goto 'can't be fucked' meal.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 16:56, Reply)
i prefer wings of drumsticks
thighs are a bit greasy for me and i can't eat breast, it's a textural thing, i can't digest it. there was a recipe for chicken rice on a rick stein show a while back, seemed simple but very nice
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 17:13, Reply)
See I don't like them so much as they're a faff to eat.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 17:24, Reply)
i eat them at least 3 times a week
easy protein, innit?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 17:34, Reply)
3D Modelling
‘Ello all.

A call out to any 3D Studio / Blender whizzes.

I’ve got a model that was captured in Autodesk 123D Catch that needs tidying up. It’s uneven and needs smoothing out.

Would anybody be interested in doing this for a bit of money? I’m not sure what a fair fee would be, so I’m trusting you here…

Answers on a postcard. Return to your labours.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:07, Reply)

l
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:08, Reply)
i can read all the words but i have no idea what they all mean put together

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:08, Reply)
i can do this type of 3d modelling
s4.b3ta.com/host/creative/23553/1426182712/5566593914112252665902.jpg
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:10, Reply)
heh!

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:11, Reply)
Every time.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:12, Reply)
At last, somewhere to park my bike!

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:21, Reply)
ffs my boss was wandering towards me when I clicked that.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:35, Reply)
lol you cunt

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:59, Reply)
what the shuddering fuck is going on?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:09, Reply)
I'll do it for £800

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:10, Reply)
I'll do it for £795

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:11, Reply)
I'll do it for $500

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:12, Reply)
I can't argue with prices like that

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:16, Reply)
You tried a Vitamix, M8?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:16, Reply)
^ accidentally created The Powerpuff Girls

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:19, Reply)
Blossom was my spirit animal.
wWen I was a young queer, I had a tee with them on.
I was the Belle of the ball at the local gay club.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:24, Reply)
Girls aren't animals, Jase.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:29, Reply)
The ones I know are.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:33, Reply)
Hubba hubba!

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:34, Reply)
I'll do it for £20, if you supply the sandpaper.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:19, Reply)
Gaz'd

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 15:02, Reply)
My standard rate is £90 an hour and a go on your wife

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 16:43, Reply)
What is the rudest thing you've ever witnessed?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:48, Reply)
The naked lady I just saw while looking for parts.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:52, Reply)
lady parts?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:52, Reply)
No. Car parts.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:55, Reply)
lol, "lady parts"!

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:53, Reply)
I saw a lady's downstairs, once.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:52, Reply)
I always need to turn the light on when I'm in the basement

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:00, Reply)
Two Hats

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:58, Reply)
He's out of control.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:58, Reply)
delete yourself

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:01, Reply)
Hey, what's wrong with you?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:02, Reply)
I'm not a strong swimmer

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:03, Reply)
you're looking kinda downs to meeeeeeee

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:07, Reply)
how dare you talk to me like that

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:03, Reply)
This watch.
poopo
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:02, Reply)
FUCK

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:02, Reply)
they do make some awful watches, i owned one for about a week, why i don't know

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:04, Reply)
this is what you want
www.mbandf.com/en/machines/horological-machines/hm7
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:07, Reply)

Hi tards,

I am trying to find an old blog, it may have died in the fires of the old internet.
It was a British man who took it upon himself to drink only guinness as a meal replacement for two weeks or so.


Does it ring any bells?

Please and thanks,

Dzee
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:06, Reply)


(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:07, Reply)
¯\(º_o)/¯

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:09, Reply)
Wow hard to find
guinnessdiet.blogspot.co.uk/
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:20, Reply)
*gasp*
are you a wizard??
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:22, Reply)
I wrote the internet so it's easy for me to find stuff

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:24, Reply)
Ah, ok

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:25, Reply)
I'm very similar to the fat black women in the matrix

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:29, Reply)
No one noticed that you'd died and been replaced with a lookalike?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:31, Reply)
You like
you just typed it out from memory
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:29, Reply)
This is why "gaz mongy" is the stock response to these requests.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:28, Reply)
dzee says "thank you" in 3... 2... 1...

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:31, Reply)


(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:53, Reply)

"thank you" in 3... 2... 1...
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:57, Reply)
he died in 2007

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:41, Reply)
Thanks MongyChips.
What a find, that's the one :D
\
Thank You !
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:57, Reply)
mind your own business

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:10, Reply)
bit negative
we should encourage forum users
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:18, Reply)
poor bum losers more like

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:21, Reply)
hey now

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:45, Reply)
you've really made the most of your 12 years here

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:10, Reply)
it's another shambo hacked account

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:18, Reply)

How dare you!
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:58, Reply)
you've had "feel" spelt wrong in your profile for a dozen years
AWWWW-KWAAARRRRD
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:12, Reply)
dzee nuts!

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:14, Reply)
Google lya000010
It's a part number, tell me if you get a naked lady as well.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:20, Reply)
yeah
https://fangirlydotcom.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/gromit_thumbs_up.jpg
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:35, Reply)
Google it, you giant stomping thundercunt.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:27, Reply)
I don't have to now.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:00, Reply)
delete this plz

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:42, Reply)
delete yourself.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:59, Reply)
Your nan rings a bell - THE ONE ON THE END OF MY COCK, YOU FUCKING WANKER

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:42, Reply)
are you Noddy?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:44, Reply)
no m8 - I'm referring to my 'bell end', you know, like on a willy!

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:00, Reply)
lol willy

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 14:58, Reply)
Brexit means Brexit!
what sort of deals would you try to make, and with what country?

I had an awesome dream that I was in Tomb Raider last night. What's the last awesome dream you had?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:02, Reply)
I'd be pushing for a one world government.
Haven't had an interesting dream for quite some time, and nothing will ever top the time I managed to wake repeatedly into a dream, being killed at the end of each by a falling piano.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:05, Reply)
I bet that struck a wrong chord.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:28, Reply)
wet

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:06, Reply)
I once dreamt I was shagging Yazz in the back of a limo,
but woke up before things got messy.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:10, Reply)
genuinely interested in how the UK will deal with EU nationals
since on the one hand, there's a million Poles who won't have a job in their homeland if they're kicked out of the UK, but there's no way the UK can cope with a million pensioners being repatriated from Spain and the Algarve.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:08, Reply)
A complicated deal whereby everyone stays put,
except all the unemployed in Spain & Portugal will be relocated to parts of Eastern Europe.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:13, Reply)
We will stop their benefits and tax credits so they fuck off

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 13:13, Reply)
Ellodermon, Thready Grant here, fresh from taking it higher down on Electric Avenue in Brixton. AMA.
Haha, gotcha! It's actually me, Richard (McBeef)!

Do you have any unanswered questions that are bugging you? Such as 'why *are* Five Star so fucking crap? Perhaps we, your fellow boarders, help clear up some of life's mysteries for you.

Alternatively, wang it up yer shitpipe
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:22, Reply)
Can't believe tangles is the only lady boarder left on this site

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:24, Reply)
It freaks my nut out to this day

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:27, Reply)
in spite of it being intimidating and unwelcoming, I probably would

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:37, Reply)
a/s/l?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:48, Reply)
Am from Brixton. Can confirm.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:25, Reply)
I am really enjoying 'Scottish People Twitter' on reddit btw
Some hilarious stuff on there, such as this one which had me in fits at 5am, no mean feat:

imgur.com/vJnx73Z
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:28, Reply)
Look who this conversation is being conducted with
i.itsosticky.com/5cpxg8.jpg
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:33, Reply)
prolly fake

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:46, Reply)
'The iron chef of pounding vag' is inspired, trufax or gake

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:52, Reply)

bam
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:57, Reply)

imgur.com/y1FCFH8
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:10, Reply)
Ha!

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:12, Reply)
oh so now i've shown you up, suddenly you CAN be bothered

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:14, Reply)
more like
"once I'd set the standard and saw it diluted by 'me too' posers, I decided to raise my pimp hand to all those biting my style"
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:22, Reply)
you should have gone into politics, man

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:23, Reply)
carry THIS motion, bitch
*pimp slap*
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:25, Reply)
oh no, i meant because you refuse to accept your own shortcomings and no-one likes you

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:39, Reply)
tell it to /r/the_Manolith

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:44, Reply)
OK can I get this on a poster to put over my bed?
bed Comprehensive NES cartridge library
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:17, Reply)

imgur.com/a/nqmTV
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:24, Reply)
\o/

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:28, Reply)
oh man! i just shit my pants!

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:46, Reply)
a canny breathe

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:51, Reply)
I'm having a shit as I type this

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:20, Reply)
This is a personal favourite.
twitter.com/aidanjohnmoffat/status/595302320168132608
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:08, Reply)
And this.
i.redditmedia.com/-3jdw3zxMBwLvIJSvhLv7vheunY3HYRdqH3uDscD0og.png?w=589&s=6245ff2fdd21ba40a8340d603732da56
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:17, Reply)
Do Scots normally write phonetically?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:21, Reply)
yes, it's quite weird
they often write 'am' for I'm
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:26, Reply)
I thought it was something that Irving Welsh did, to add a touch of authenticity to dialogue,
but it's bizarre to see it as everyday writing.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:32, Reply)

Fit like Alan?

See us those tps reports before cop min?

Cheers,
Barry

Head of Geotechnical Services


(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:36, Reply)
*touches base*

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:41, Reply)
Come to think of it I've actually seen someone reasonably senior talking in Scots on their office IM system.
They're from a different company and they've always used proper english with us though.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:44, Reply)
Whenever someone bemoans the youth's love of "text spk", my missus is always quick to point out that generally people will switch styles based on their audience.
This seems to prove that point rather nicely.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:52, Reply)
I've never used the phrase "Get fucked" to anyone on my work email.
Tempting though it is at times.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:53, Reply)
My mate coined the shorthand tauc as a way to refer to someone as a 'total and utter cunt' without it triggering any potential word filters.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:05, Reply)
Some do.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:27, Reply)
Actually this is the best yet.
i.imgur.com/KUomByX.png
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:47, Reply)
that's depressing

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:49, Reply)
^mum's a poor cook^

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:56, Reply)
There's one with someone using a frozen roast potato as an ice cube

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:14, Reply)
fucking lol.
Come to think of it I once nicked my housemate's berocca when I'd ran out of juice to mix my vodka with.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:16, Reply)
Mum's the iron chef of pounding faj, or something.
My esteemed colleague is right, it's genuinely depressing.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:07, Reply)
This though.
i.itsosticky.com/1lf0ta4.png
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:16, Reply)
Yeah, that's good.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:40, Reply)
why DO birds suddenly appear?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:27, Reply)
Because you smell of breadcrumbs

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:30, Reply)
it's "Kiev" by Dior, actually

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:49, Reply)

i
by Dior in Keegan's cheesy bellend
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:53, Reply)
You buggin' what? You buggin' who? You buggin' me!
And don't you see it ain't cool?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:33, Reply)
No m8

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:40, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8036494
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:54, Reply)
It's not hot
that you've callin me, stressin me, pagin ma beeper.
It's just non stop.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:07, Reply)
what's the point of anything, rich?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:34, Reply)
there isn't one
Once you come to terms with that, it's actually rather liberating.

Much like cross-dressing
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:40, Reply)
Spoken like a true Bokonist.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:12, Reply)
So it goes.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:14, Reply)
the absurdity is the meaning

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:47, Reply)
OHHH

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:01, Reply)
Whoa, spoiler warning m8

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:48, Reply)
Why do you like to put your bum hole on pool drains?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:44, Reply)
that's a very complicated issue

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:47, Reply)
Let me answer that question with another question:
Why don't you like to put your bum hole on pool drains?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:54, Reply)
My youngest proudly showed me a Match Attax card, this morning.
The player on the card had been given the title of "Assist King", but Youngest Munch had his finger covering the middle section, so that it read "Ass King".
My unanswered question is this: just how severe of a beating should I administer to his buttocks, and should I use my open hand, or a slipper?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:56, Reply)
Reward not punish
www.b3ta.com/talk/8005764
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:02, Reply)
Thanks, drimble.
I'll administer a moderately firm slippering to his buttocks, as an appropriate reward.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:04, Reply)
I have nothing but questions, m8

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:02, Reply)
lol "butt questions"

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:02, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:04, Reply)
sick

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:04, Reply)
Dear Richard McBeef of internet fame and splendour
Why did Frank Sinatra leave his heart in San Francisco?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:18, Reply)
The loan sharks finally caught up

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:20, Reply)
I should have suspected Mafia involvement

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:24, Reply)
they only kill their own

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:26, Reply)
oh

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:26, Reply)
There's a wonderful short story by James Ellroy,
that features Sinatra getting off his nut on pills and being mistaken for Jesus by a bunch of Mexicans. I like to think it's true.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:38, Reply)
I liked his son playing himself in the sopranos
just adding that in there
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:43, Reply)
I really should get around to battering through the sopranoes.
Given I didn't really start watching it religiously until about series 3 and I've forgotten most of it.

Big commitment though isn't it?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:45, Reply)
nah
grab a bottle of your favourite spirits and sit down and watch people's hopes and dreams fade
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:50, Reply)
I did that re-watching Six Feet Under about a year ago.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:12, Reply)
Gay

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:52, Reply)
+with

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:14, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:24, Reply)
which side do you dress, and how has this impacted your wedding suit?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:37, Reply)
Straight down the middle
I had to get a custom suit with an extra leg for my penus
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:16, Reply)
I guess Rolf won't be doing his 'Jake the Peg' act any time soon.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:21, Reply)
He rewrote it for prison
he's now "Pete the Janus"
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:28, Reply)
Just what the hell is goofy?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:53, Reply)
dog, innit?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:57, Reply)
Surprised Disney haven't done a hip, knowing "adult" explanation short for this with a mad scientist and gene-splicing
in the vein of Scooby Doo Apocalypse
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:01, Reply)
Don't give the cunts ideas

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:15, Reply)
They're too busy boring holes into Star Wars' bloated corpse to fuck whatever money they can out of it

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:16, Reply)
Goofy is a symbol of Walt Disney's desired utopia, a world in which some "dogs," or "Goofies," may walk upright, wear clothes, and talk in an admittedly yokely bumpkin-esque accent but nevertheless are accepted by their betters as an almost equal
Whereas other less worthy "dogs," or "Plutos," must remain in silent servitude to their masters, which may or may not include "Goofies." Such ideologies serve to further cement the fact that Walt Disney was a colossal prick and probably a nonce.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:08, Reply)
Oddly plausible.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:16, Reply)
Dique

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:10, Reply)
brexit

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:13, Reply)
soon I hope

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:16, Reply)
i'm sick of europe already

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:18, Reply)
Unlikely we'll be out much before 2020.
Just in time for Trump to declare us to be the 51st State.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:49, Reply)
Things are going grand then

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:55, Reply)
my uncle is giving America a year. If Trump is shit he wants to move back to the UK
I've told him if tries and sets foot back in the country I'm not afraid to go toe to toe with him to defend our borders
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:57, Reply)
She's only gone and done it!

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:19, Reply)
No single market. FFS I'll never afford a Nintendo Switch now.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:42, Reply)
That looks like a fucking Fisher Price toy anyway

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 12:49, Reply)
morning

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:01, Reply)
Sure is you sexy motherfucka

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:21, Reply)
I am what makes this day sexy

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:31, Reply)
I am not going to argue with that

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:41, Reply)
Undeniably.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:25, Reply)
you'd be a fool to deny it
A FOOL
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:31, Reply)
I'm knackered

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:26, Reply)
How are your tonsils?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:29, Reply)
Covered in spunk

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:30, Reply)
I don't have tonsillitis after all, just a virus

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:47, Reply)
Walk it off.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:40, Reply)
strikey-geeeeee

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:52, Reply)
Standard.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:53, Reply)
this isn't about you m8

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:31, Reply)
Rob from the rich and give to the poor, m8

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:47, Reply)
50p

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:24, Reply)
You're once, twice, three times a Grry
Morns
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:37, Reply)
and I mooooorrrrrrrrn
you-oo-oo
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:42, Reply)
Gooooooooooood

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:38, Reply)
Morning

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:39, Reply)
I was expecting something more, to be honest

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:42, Reply)
^
Destined for perpetual disappointment
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:43, Reply)
as sophie ellis bextor once said
A pessimist is never disappointed
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:54, Reply)
No she neva m8 shutup

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:12, Reply)
m8 she bloody did and they caught it on tape and everything

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:47, Reply)
No, I'm not saying good morning, I'm sorry

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:48, Reply)
I don't think you're sorry at all
an empty sentiment is worse than no sentiment at all
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:51, Reply)

No, I'm not saying
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 7:52, Reply)
official candles day
unlike that unofficial day yesterday
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:27, Reply)
You're right, I AM as important as the queen

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:08, Reply)
I had a most satisfactory bowel movement shortly after waking up
but then, as often happens, I had an explosive and fairly liquid poo some 20 minutes later.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:07, Reply)
your innards are messed up m8

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:08, Reply)
^woke up and shit the bed

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:42, Reply)
It was mild and green? Eww

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:00, Reply)
And soft for his hands

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:01, Reply)
Oh yeah? Morning is it?
Fucking looks like it an'all
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:08, Reply)
^ this guy mornings

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:16, Reply)
Just been to the dentist for the first time in a decade
2 fillings required, don't know why I bothered
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:13, Reply)
Morning, you motley crowd of wastrels and hommers.
What's shaking?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:19, Reply)
your mum's chins every time she swallows another mouthful m8

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:20, Reply)
rimshot.wav

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:22, Reply)
g'day

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:27, Reply)
alright shiela

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:28, Reply)
morgen for hitler,
and germany
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:35, Reply)
hitler said you were a bit of a pillock m8

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:38, Reply)
he was right

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:43, Reply)
he usually was

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:36, Reply)
well ok then, but I don't have to be happy about it

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:39, Reply)
happiness is what you make of it m8
you can't change the morning, but you can change your attitude about the morning.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:43, Reply)
And whilst he's about it he could change his pants as well

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:01, Reply)
woah woah one step at a time, yeah?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:03, Reply)
can you put that on a motivational poster for me?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:03, Reply)

imgur.com/a/Uh7vB
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:16, Reply)
actually could you make it say 'pants' after all?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:29, Reply)

imgur.com/a/Uh7vB
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:33, Reply)
you could, you're just lazy

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:49, Reply)
it doesn't fit in the design specs m8
four lines split over two paragraphs, with a color change per para, and he wants all that with just the word "pants"? No dice.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:50, Reply)
la-zy
i'd do it but in my new office, people can see my screen
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:53, Reply)
it's too much of a "7 perpendicular lines" task
I'm happy to pass the task to you if you could ever be bothered to get off your arse.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:57, Reply)
fine, I'll do it myself, but it'll be really shit
imgur.com/a/Z9h8e
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:03, Reply)
everyone left the office for a bit so i made this
i.imgur.com/dpM3GW8.png
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:33, Reply)
mine was better

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 11:11, Reply)
it's morning than you can handle, mush

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:53, Reply)
How much ning would a morning bring
if a morning could bring ning?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:54, Reply)
8

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:35, Reply)
Seems reasonable.

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:35, Reply)
^ wacky morning DJ

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:54, Reply)
democracy's a joke

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:55, Reply)
\o/

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:58, Reply)
bring me sunshine in your smile, bring me laughter all the while, in this world where we live there should be more happiness, so much joy you can give to each brand new bright tomorrow

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 8:59, Reply)
err, are you on drugs?

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:01, Reply)
Happiness, happiness, the greatest gift that I possess
I thank the Lord I've been blessed
With more than my share of happiness
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:05, Reply)

Happi Family
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:17, Reply)
lol, "a penis"!

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:25, Reply)
you're never alone with a penis

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:29, Reply)
I dunno

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:31, Reply)
I guess not.
www.illustrationweb.com/Thumb386s/30563/image_6666/wicked-willie.jpg
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:35, Reply)
i can just see you, doing the skip dance down a staircase with angela rippon

(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 9:57, Reply)

ngela rippon fat carp in your arms
(, Tue 17 Jan 2017, 10:00, Reply)
Poo
Po
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:17, Reply)
Hundreds, if not thousands, of people have lost their livelihoods and left the area after Poopo dried up

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:18, Reply)
What's the fucking point in archeology, who cares what bronze age people did, waste of time and money

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:24, Reply)
Those who don't learn the lessons of the beaker folk are doomed to do it all over the internet instead

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:34, Reply)
We moan about funding an Ethiopian spice girls but don't say a peep about digging up a old wall , trump will sort this shit out

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:50, Reply)
I guess that's one way to get thinner than posh

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:52, Reply)
Chuck a few bombs at people who wrote mean, serious tweets and there'll be nothing left under the ground to dig up anyway

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:53, Reply)
I'd make the hippy's fight somewhere, fingers crossed trump feels the same , iran 17

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:58, Reply)
Probably a tax fiddle

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:41, Reply)
Oh for fucks sake

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:28, Reply)
Tinky
Winky
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:38, Reply)
La
la
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:39, Reply)
dipsomaniac

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:50, Reply)
cheers

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:50, Reply)
Alright

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 23:52, Reply)
Sometimes I just wanna get on my poo and po

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 23:13, Reply)
Hullo everyone, it is I, the lovely Flebbie McGee
Today has been a twat+cunt=twunt of a day for me. There's no way on earth I'm not having a bottle of rich and fruity red later, or as I call it, 'a bottle of George Michael'. How about you?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:29, Reply)
very nice day for me
and i have free steak for dinner. i may have a glass or two whilst watching tonight's snooker
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:32, Reply)
I used to like watching snooker when I was a bong-crazed student
Not seen any for at least 4 yonks now though. Do they still give the players comical nicknames? I seem to recall James Wattana was 'the Thai Phoon'
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:39, Reply)
there's 'the jester from leicester' mark selby
i'd call neil robertson the weird joogly eyed bugger
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:44, Reply)
I like the jester one because he's almost Steve Davis 2.0

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:44, Reply)
he is a bit
john higgins is playing a blinder this season, definitely one to watch. just glad peter ebdon's not playing, he creeps me right out
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:50, Reply)
Last I saw of him he'd put a good couple of stone on

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:51, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob6i9VbfVXs
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:54, Reply)
oh christ, that's too painful to watch!

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:57, Reply)
Ebdon's a commentator now I think. Fuck knows what the bbc were thinking.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:53, Reply)
i like steve davis commentating
he's much funnier than he used to be
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:55, Reply)
It's always good when John Virgo trots out that "the thing about snooker is that when your opponent is at the table, there's nothing you can do" for the umpteenth time.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:57, Reply)
they need to make a doll of him
that says that when you pull a string on his back
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:58, Reply)
And then sack him because he no longer serves any useful purpose as a broadcaster?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:59, Reply)
he'd make a good doorstop

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:01, Reply)
I'm up the boozer

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:33, Reply)
Bumming an alkie?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:39, Reply)
The Cure'zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:39, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:41, Reply)

i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/803/621/c87.jpg
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:42, Reply)
I Like This!

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:37, Reply)
I've got a banging headache,
and I noticed too late that the work I've done today was utterly futile.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:38, Reply)
You should get some swag like me, m8
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/798/062/55e.png
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:43, Reply)
It's like he's oozing out of the hat.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:37, Reply)
Lol

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:13, Reply)
Dunno

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:49, Reply)
Looks like I have to go to Nottingham next week
How shit is that huh
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:51, Reply)
How come?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:54, Reply)
I have to go and sort out this fucking rabble

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:55, Reply)
You should cunt them all in the fuck.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:58, Reply)
Oh I see, of course
Well good luck. Never underestimate the power of the threat of physical violence
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:00, Reply)
or the blade

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:04, Reply)
Oh I'm sure he'll be wearing his best stegosaurus trench-coat and blade.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:05, Reply)
My work are threatening to send me to staines in a couple of weeks.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:54, Reply)
I just spoke to your boss
he wants you up there permanently. Soz.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:00, Reply)
NO U NEVER SHU'UUUP

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:22, Reply)
can confirm, am your boss

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 19:00, Reply)
Mediocre day for me.
Had a mini telephone interview today. Got a second one with some manager type person tomorrow morning.

The times they are a changing.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:55, Reply)
lol jobbie

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:57, Reply)
blade practice and fedora tipping

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:01, Reply)
This stuff is all lost on me

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:07, Reply)
Unlike most people here, you're not a stupid prick.
I don't know how you put up with it, really.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:39, Reply)
Fairly certain I'm the uneducated working class scum here, I was even called a prole by a call center worker

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:59, Reply)
^ salt of the earth

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 19:14, Reply)
I Neva dun that fancy learnin, but I'm niave and happy

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 19:19, Reply)
Ninja GAYden more like!!!

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:38, Reply)
I used to think it was called "Ninja Garden".

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:40, Reply)
Peats of Rage

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:52, Reply)
Oh god Jason don't start

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 19:03, Reply)
Granny's Garden.
Oh.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 19:15, Reply)
gonna try and make it to the end of the month with no booze

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:24, Reply)
boooooooo!!!!!!

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:32, Reply)
my weight is stable
so i just want to cut out a bit for a few weeks to see what it does to my waistline
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:52, Reply)
In an act of solidarity, I'm going to go a month without smoking.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:42, Reply)
you're a parent, set a better example ffs

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:53, Reply)
Unless I start a YouTube channel,
I doubt I'll have much influence over my children's lives.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 19:18, Reply)
Confiscate all their devices, up sticks and move to a forest

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 20:06, Reply)
Do I have to take them with me?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 20:17, Reply)

smo thin
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 19:02, Reply)
To be honest,
I've never done much of either.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 19:20, Reply)
coincidentally, i have to go the rest of the month without money

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:49, Reply)
cat eating more than you expected?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:53, Reply)
nah, going two extra weeks between paydays has fucked me

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:59, Reply)
The old paid early in December but a long Jan ? An awful time , weekly pay should be reinforced

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 19:04, Reply)
It fucks me every year
All fun and games on dec 23td...not so much jan 23rd
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 20:12, Reply)
Take out a credit card with a 0% introductory offer,
run up a massive bill, then transfer it all to a different card with a 0% on balance transfers offer. Keep this going for a couple of years, then use the latest card to get some tickets out of the country.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 19:23, Reply)
Hooray for kiting.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 20:07, Reply)
gay slang for blowing on another man's tightly-stretched ballbag skin

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 20:40, Reply)
That was cheque book fraud in my day, stolen ones

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:18, Reply)
I read that as mongy and :,(

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:56, Reply)
omg i m soooo sry hun xoxo

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 18:58, Reply)

this
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 19:46, Reply)
Quite right.
Nothing less than a Catholic monarch can save us, now.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 20:02, Reply)
I might run for pope

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 20:03, Reply)
You'll have to sit in that funny chair,
so that the cardinals can take a good look at your testicles.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 20:11, Reply)
Sounds good to me.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 20:15, Reply)
If the pope is very old
when he is poped does it maybe he does a wee on the cardinals and it is like gods tears of joy on them and it is a miracle?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:07, Reply)
No, m8.
Urolagnia isn't anything to do with Catholicism.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 21:10, Reply)
If you were involved in creating the worst thread this side of 1997, what would you do to make it up to the rest of us?
How's your Monday going? Anything nice happening? I've got nothing to do.
Here's a young female twohats skateboarding with chief hat tipper SS.
i.imgur.com/QoQqI1W.gifv
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:51, Reply)
I'd apologise to the board, especially to Richard
It's going shit thanks. Busy dealing with idiots.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:53, Reply)
New midland staff not getting it sorted?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:58, Reply)
nope

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:33, Reply)
I scooped up all the snow on my balcony and made a snowman with my nipper
Now it's snowing again, as if the weather gods are laughing at my feeble efforts.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:53, Reply)
Maybe you should fall off the balcony.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:59, Reply)
It's been a nice low-key Monday over here. Enough work to keep me busy without driving me crazy.
Tonight's the night I get my bike back, in theory.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:56, Reply)
Who has the bike and do you want me to break their legs?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:59, Reply)
The repair shop, and that depends on how good a job they've done.
I'll let you know tomorrow morning.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:00, Reply)
m8, that was well rude of you to say

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:02, Reply)
Look m8, it's not my fault you started the most-dissed thread of 2017.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:04, Reply)
How badly damaged was it in the end?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:27, Reply)
The only thing that really needs replacing is the pedalboard,
which I tried to bend back into shape by hand but it's solid aluminium and the angle made any leverage impossible. I figured if I was going to spend €80 on parts, I could spend another €20 on getting them to fit them for me.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:56, Reply)
it's alright, heres an auction of old cars
auction.catawiki.com/classic-car-auction/monday/2017-01-16

and a watch made from cheese costing a million

www.hodinkee.com/articles/h-moser-swiss-mad-watch-swiss-cheese-limited-edition-venturer-introducing
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:00, Reply)
#23 is well underpriced

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:05, Reply)
I'd quite like a DS or a Capri

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:13, Reply)
+nintendo
+sun
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:15, Reply)
:D

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:42, Reply)
I wouldn't mind the volvo

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:15, Reply)
I assume you mean the p1800 rather than the 242?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:16, Reply)
The amazon B18

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:22, Reply)
That watch looks a bit like HAL, so I approve.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:21, Reply)
i'd buy it to piss off vegans

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:52, Reply)
There's a red Plymouth Fury, in that auction - I'd buy that and call it Christine.
Then I'd use it to run people over with, if they upset me in any way.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:25, Reply)
You could just buy an Accord for that.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:36, Reply)
Honda Accord for justice,
Plymouth Fury for petty revenge.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:43, Reply)
Justice is alsways reliable
Revenge drinks a lot and is not always guaranteed to work.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:20, Reply)
donate £500 to each person in the /talk stats top 30
my day is going better than i thought it would. this morning was a right cunt.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:04, Reply)
Good news.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:15, Reply)
thanks

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:23, Reply)
I tipped that cunt good and proper

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:05, Reply)
Best bit of that short clip.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:16, Reply)
I'm pretty tired, but deserve to feel rougher than I do, I suppose.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:10, Reply)
If it helps, you almost certainly look worse than you feel.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:16, Reply)
that's just mean.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:17, Reply)
live suicide feed

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:17, Reply)
What does a suicide eat?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:26, Reply)
it eats anorexia according to google

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:29, Reply)
and attention

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:30, Reply)
I dunno, what's a-sucide eat-a to you?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:30, Reply)
My day is unspectacular.
I wouldn't even apologise for a shit thread. I don't owe you cunts anything.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:22, Reply)
Porbably make a batch of peanut butter and nutella cookies, with added weed on request
Monday's going alright, now the office has adopted a casual dress code everything's a bit more laid back.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:28, Reply)
I bet management stewed on that for months before agreeing

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:30, Reply)
Probably, they seem the sort
Still, it means one less chore of ironing my work gear every week, more time to study the blade and get burned bout to watch football
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:33, Reply)
I never iron my work shirts. Just put a jumper on over them innit.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:37, Reply)
Ironing?
I don't think I've ironed anything in over a decade, and I have to wear a shirt and tie to work.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:38, Reply)
A tie? Unlucky.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:39, Reply)
Jesus
I object to wearing a tie to a funeral. Fucked if I'm wearing one to work.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:40, Reply)
Tie chat!
I'm going client-side tomorrow so I have to wear one, for the first time in at least a year.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:42, Reply)
you'll never make a lvl 8 atheist with that attitude

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:42, Reply)
Those Eighters are a real bunch of nerds
I'm happy at 7, I'm staying at 7
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:47, Reply)
^only 2 meow meow beenz

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:50, Reply)
I don't think I have to,
but wearing a shirt without one is weird - unless it's short-sleeved, in which case wearing a tie with it makes one look like a serial killer.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:42, Reply)
Combine with tinted glasses for maximum effect.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:44, Reply)
<s> D-FENS

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:58, Reply)
AW NAW ME TOPICS ARE RUAINED

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:03, Reply)
I got moaned at for not wearing a tie to a wedding recently.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:43, Reply)

a tie smart trousers
wedding christening
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:45, Reply)
lol.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:48, Reply)
pff

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:37, Reply)
I've got mates who are the same, they claim that somehow "the creases fall out" when they hang them up
I call bollocks
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:50, Reply)
You can sometimes steam them out if you hang the shirt in the bathroom when you shower.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:51, Reply)
I buy non-iron shirts.
Not fooling anyone, but a million times more presentable than an unironed normal shirt.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:54, Reply)
Holy fuck that's an extortionate amount to spend on work shirts
Taking advantage of laziness there
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:59, Reply)
My mum's a shopaholic, and is forever picking them up in the sales.
I haven't spent any money on work clothes since I don't know when.
Would still be worth it, though - who has time to iron?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:06, Reply)
very few people I know want to wear a suit to work anymore

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:41, Reply)
I might start wearing a suit, start the shift so that office bods wear jeans and a tshirt while all sparks wear a 3 piece.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:42, Reply)
and fedoras

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:47, Reply)
I'm thinking stetsons

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:48, Reply)

www.eoht.info/page/Dawkins+scale
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:48, Reply)
How can you be 'more than sure'?
Fucking hell
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:51, Reply)
Nice.
blog.denimtherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/1970s.jpg
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:47, Reply)
Nah, more like this.
i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/10/06/04/2D20BABF00000578-3261357-image-a-65_1444102040224.jpg
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:55, Reply)
i'm at work wearing jeans, a pair of red and black DCs, my best pants and a tshirt with fry from futurama on it

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:48, Reply)
ain't nothing wrong with a little Philip J. Fry

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:51, Reply)
exactly
www.qwertee.com/product/100-cups-of-coffee
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:52, Reply)
There was a cool Nightman t-shirt on shirtpunch yesterday
but the exchange rate and shipping are making them too expensive now. Sad toimes.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:05, Reply)
I want a Repo Man tshirt.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:08, Reply)
Well I don't know what to tell you, m8

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:08, Reply)

www.barbershopwindow.com/repo-man-classic.html
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:02, Reply)
AKA Demolition Smash, wrestling fact fans

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:09, Reply)

y from futurama ied egg stains
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:52, Reply)
shows what you know, i only eat fried eggs in the nude

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:00, Reply)
"she calls it a mayonegg"

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:03, Reply)
her?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:20, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oo6iEqkFnI
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:30, Reply)

yeah, i got it
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:02, Reply)
Well that's now as ann as plain's face.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:12, Reply)
I'm wearing cat boots, jeans, shirt and bench grey/black jumper.
I need to get some more black jeans for work though as my last pair has developed a hole in the back pocket where my change poked through.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:52, Reply)

and you look lovely in them
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:56, Reply)
Google tells me that "DCs" is footwear.
I was briefly confused.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:56, Reply)
What else would be wearing in pairs, you dummy?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:01, Reply)
Trousers (already there), pants (likewise),
spectacles (maybe), gloves (not indoors), earmuffs (likewise), deely boppers (most likely answer).
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:04, Reply)
My knickers are red and they have polka dots on.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:57, Reply)
Brace yourself.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:59, Reply)
podka

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:03, Reply)
offer you a good flubbing
great. just been told i don't have to go to job club for a few weeks while they move to their new offices, by which time i should be on full carer's allowance and won't have to go back anyway!
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:10, Reply)
Congratulations.
Bit less hassle to worry about, at least.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:16, Reply)
yep, it takes the pressure off
and means i don't have to leave my aunt to fend for herself 2 mornings a week.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:23, Reply)
Not good at this time of the year
in the warmer months you can allow her to roam free in the garden and let her go wild for a bit. Maybe put a small assault course in there to bring back the old 'nam days... Flashbacks are great fun for the elderly and infirm.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:39, Reply)
not her
she'd only strip off and traumatise the neighbours
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:49, Reply)
willy

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:42, Reply)
k reporting this to the mods

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:46, Reply)
lol, "willy"!

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:57, Reply)
god almighty
you had to ruin it, didn't you
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:00, Reply)

giphy.com/gifs/friendzone-fedora-rdA5DhISPS6DS
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:11, Reply)

media.tenor.co/images/e31232d2811499a3b2caa34b135828a7/raw
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:18, Reply)

i.imgur.com/I6OTT5f.gif
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:08, Reply)
"Only the pure will be spared."
i.imgur.com/Tjjd1Ia.jpg
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:14, Reply)
If you were involved in a radioactive accident, what would your new superpower be?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:13, Reply)
tits

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:14, Reply)
You'd be like Hawk
except smaller, and you'd just peck out the cream from people's milk bottles each morning
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:20, Reply)
Less Hawk, more Thrush

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:42, Reply)
That's the power of love

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:47, Reply)
What two hats said ^

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:16, Reply)
cancer

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:16, Reply)
Prehensile mustache.
And cancer.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:19, Reply)
your tache would be like kuato in Total Recall

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:20, Reply)
More like
Benny's arm.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:36, Reply)
Cancer and tits

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:19, Reply)
tits with a dash of cancer

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:20, Reply)
Luminosity

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:21, Reply)
mod powers so I could delete this bent thread

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:27, Reply)
It's the worst thread so far today.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:29, Reply)
Nothing's topped Shakespeare poo puns, as today's highlight.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:40, Reply)
I am very pleased with the way that went
especially as a tangent from the original subject. Who knows, maybe this will prove fertile ground for another "classic."
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:49, Reply)
It's the worst thread I've seen this millenium, m8

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:43, Reply)
that shit you posted below was an abomination m8
I'm doing us all a favour, especially you.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:31, Reply)
Would it help if I started a new thread?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:45, Reply)
can't make things any worse, at this point

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:47, Reply)
sticking my poohole over a pool drain

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:39, Reply)
Chuck Palhinuck wrote a rather disturbing short story about that.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:21, Reply)
I assumed this was the joke.
Am I missing something?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:26, Reply)
^ what he said

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:32, Reply)
And why has it become relevant again?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:34, Reply)
Same

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:32, Reply)
When I dun a spunk, poo would come out the helmit

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:41, Reply)
I'd become a superb3tan and be able to comedy at the George on a weekday night

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:44, Reply)
Shed man
I would be able to repair minor leaks in shed roofs.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:50, Reply)
Irresistible to every b3tan's nans.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:59, Reply)
lifetime b3ta gold account

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:01, Reply)

💩 [b3ta gold]
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:11, Reply)
Thank you for the gold kind sirs! [doffs neckbeard]

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:20, Reply)
You've been tricked by society into caring about how you look.

One day you will be enlightened and understand that inner strength and mental acuity will transfer to the cosmic afterlife and not your puny body.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:02, Reply)
oh shit

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:05, Reply)
How much blade study do I need to do to achieve that?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:21, Reply)
Oh, at least 6
Maybe as much as 7 or 8
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:25, Reply)
it's true, I did shave this morning
I won't bother next week
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:21, Reply)
I shaved twice, last week.
Awful business.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:33, Reply)
The ability to sleep like normal human

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:05, Reply)
Generating generous quantities of organic pork scratchings with only a vigorous towelling-off.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:30, Reply)
mind control
then i could control the scientists i'd need to build my laser cannon, my death ray and everything else i need to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:39, Reply)
OK Fleb, now you're a yaga yaga
OK Fleb, bully for you
OK Fleb, now you're a yaga yaga
I wanna be one too

Just sayin
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:25, Reply)
alright 'smash mouth'

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:27, Reply)
well you're entitled to your opinion m8
but you're going down a route I cannot follow
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:29, Reply)
your loss

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:33, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:33, Reply)
Stop your messin' around
Better think of your future
Time you straightened right out
Creatin' problems on /talk

Ritchie
A message to you, McBeef.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:31, Reply)
*tips fedora*
*strokes neckbeard*
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:31, Reply)
[serious] m'lady

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:33, Reply)
m'cbeef

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:34, Reply)
I touched a m'lady on the pudendum AMA!

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:36, Reply)
How does it smell?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:38, Reply)
like a damp old book

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:40, Reply)
"I love this new world, I no longer have to be politically correct."

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:40, Reply)
You know I don't understand this, so I imagine it's some sort of "street slang" and I want no part of it.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:34, Reply)
think it's a black people thing

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:39, Reply)
you down, nig?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:40, Reply)
er ... yo?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:00, Reply)
^ never heard of a mister magic rap attack

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:42, Reply)
I think you'll find it's mister MIME *adjusts glasses*

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:57, Reply)
All the hip kids this season want to be a Baba Yaga.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:35, Reply)
i wonder if any will come true, tbf this is only relevant to my interests
rolexpassionreport.com/20205/rolex-news-for-baselworld-2017/
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:37, Reply)
what takes your fancy?
I'm buying.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:41, Reply)
if they do the gmt with the black red bezel that will be a lovely watch, i've got the blue and black version and they are really hard to buy even over list price

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:55, Reply)
what's the most gadgets you've ever seen in a real watch?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:45, Reply)
I saw one with a calculator on it once
It had plus, minus and times
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:52, Reply)
the ones that could control tellies were big when i was at school

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:53, Reply)
i've been to a few exhibitions so have seen some very complicated watches

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:56, Reply)
are you a lawyer or something, somebody important or something?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:58, Reply)
nah i aint passed the bar....ever...lol

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:04, Reply)

You say you're Yaga Yaga
and you're well hip on the street
but you're more like Lady Gaga
and your garments smell of meat.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:01, Reply)

Dicky Mcbeef, changing the climate
wearing guyliner and dressing like a pirate
waxing lyrical in the London blizzard
after a curry, got a sleeve like a wizard
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:05, Reply)
No m8

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:09, Reply)
I want to get a treadmill, but I don't really have the space
What do you want to get but don't really have the space? Or time to use it. Or bumhole. Or summat.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:44, Reply)
A menagerie.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:46, Reply)
woah
what would you keep in your menagerie?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:47, Reply)
A tortoise and a horse for the kids.
A goat and a pig for me.

Might revise my ambitions down to a simple farmyard.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:49, Reply)
You could make the tortoise and the horse race, and create your own little fable
On milking day, don't get the pig and goat mixed up
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:51, Reply)
I'd spend my time reenacting Zeno's paradox,
and milking the goat. I don't really have a use for the pig, but pigs are great.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:54, Reply)
Pool table.
I got a miniature one for Chrimbo, but it's not the same.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:46, Reply)
Yeah, that'd be cool
My wife's auntie has got one that came from a pub. Good fun, but yes...you need a lot of space.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:48, Reply)
I used to live in a ground floor flat
and the guy above us had a pool or snooker table. After a couple of weeks I wanted to beat him to death with his cue.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:49, Reply)
I'm not sure you're supposed to put snooker tables upstairs.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:13, Reply)
Well I wasn't going to let him keep it in my flat

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:14, Reply)

stairs your bum
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:20, Reply)
We almost bought an old pub when we last moved house.
It'd been converted, but the downstairs was still obviously pub shaped - could have got a pool table in there, easy.

We also looked at a house in a village, that had it's own private access to the pub next door. Me and the father-in-law bitterly regret not getting that one.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:52, Reply)
A rich mate of mine when I was a teenager had his own snooker table at home.
Now that took up a serious amount of space.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:09, Reply)
I really want a music studio
I've got a few odds'n'sods of kit and we've had a loft conversion so there's a room that has been earmarked to be the stuidio/office/spare room but we need to build storage and a bench etc...
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:47, Reply)
Have a look in Ikea
you might not actually buy anything there, but it might give you some inspiration
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:50, Reply)
Yes, they do some good modular stuff
that doesn't break the bank. I'm not really a very competent carpenter so this way I'll end up with nearly as many fingers at the end of the project as at the start.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:34, Reply)
a sense of wonder

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:49, Reply)
childlike wonder?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:51, Reply)
no, stevie

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:17, Reply)
hearing, smell or touch then.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:24, Reply)
alright
did you know you're possessed? www.lgbtqnation.com/2016/12/85-gay-people-possessed-ghosts-according-spiritual-research/
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:25, Reply)
Haha, goodness me
THE POWER OF RU PAUL COMPELS YOU!
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:26, Reply)
makes sense

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:33, Reply)
"He slimed me."

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:33, Reply)
One of my best work buddies told me the other day
"Did you know that Stevie Wonder has a pilot's license?"
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:25, Reply)
haha. blindos can do all sorts these days
sploid.gizmodo.com/this-blind-skateboarder-uses-his-cane-to-do-awesome-tri-1790760558
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:32, Reply)
I can't wait until I'm blind

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:35, Reply)
I quite liked the blind man in Sneakers.
And how they work out the route the guy was taken by playing the guy the road noises and stuff.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:36, Reply)
*that joke about the nuns*

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:38, Reply)
"Where's the soap?"

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:41, Reply)
"Just show them your cross"

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:44, Reply)
"I've never come this way before"

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:45, Reply)
A poopo

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:50, Reply)
come on now, don't be silly

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:51, Reply)
a hippo

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:50, Reply)
bit dangerous though, aren't they
expensive to feed as well, I'd imagine
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:52, Reply)
dunno, but if tv has taught me anything they only eat a handful of white marbles a day so food won't be a problem

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:53, Reply)
I want to convert my garage into a woodworking shop
but there's a car in there taking up all the space, which is really inconvenient.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:51, Reply)
Build a car port in your workshop
two birds
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:53, Reply)
With the car in the garage
there's about a foot of space left over on each side. The plan is to have the car repainted to increase it's value 400%, and then sell it on, but this is a Long Term Project.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:10, Reply)
So it will be worth $4 then?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:31, Reply)
I also want to build at least one mezzanine in this apartment
but I can't work out the best arrangement for the stairs up there, since pirate-style rope rigging looks a bit ridiculous when climbed up by an out-of-shape middle-aged bloke.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:52, Reply)
Two words: arduino. elevator.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:53, Reply)
one word is Italian, the other is American
SPEAK ENGLISH, BOY
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:15, Reply)
Build a scale model in Lego,
then try out different arrangements.
Especially the arduino controlled lift platform.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:58, Reply)
The trouble with Lego is that you're stuck to using Stud Height as a measurement of length, width etc
which doesn't really translate too well to real world dimensions.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:11, Reply)
i'm 6ft 3 if that helps

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:18, Reply)

media.giphy.com/media/6Nv7BdrUl6Psc/giphy.gif
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:20, Reply)

media.giphy.com/media/xVkqKUUlOQzvi/giphy.gif
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:24, Reply)
and alllllll stud.
that's 198.4 bricks
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:22, Reply)
So am I!
Isn't it great?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:01, Reply)
it's alright
seems to be a lot more tall people about these days. i blame chemtrails
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:17, Reply)
world peace

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:59, Reply)
That's what I'm getting after the treadmill

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:08, Reply)
this is outstanding! happy candelabra

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:05, Reply)
cheers

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:08, Reply)
lol, "bra"!

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:09, Reply)

candela hand
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:13, Reply)
Dunno.
My parents got an exercise bike. It was used about once before it just became a makeshift clothes horse. I imagine a treadmill would be similar.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:15, Reply)
Well then the solution is simple
I'm no longer inviting your parents to live with me
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:19, Reply)
There was a flat down the road from my old gaff that had a fruit machine in the front room.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:25, Reply)
when i was in primary school, my girlfriend's folks had one at their place
they did live in paulsgrove though, so y'know
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:26, Reply)
Did they live in the lounge bar of the Sociable Plover?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:28, Reply)
i've already said too much

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:33, Reply)
I understand

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:35, Reply)
I can imagine getting bored of that REALLY quickly
at least with a pool table you're learning and improving a skill
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:27, Reply)
I don't really see the appeal of fruit machines when I can win someone else's money.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:31, Reply)
my grandparents apparently had a cigarette machine in their house at one point

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:32, Reply)
I sort of wanted one of those tab dispensers that's shaped like a camel and the things come out it's arse.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:36, Reply)

This
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:16, Reply)
This is like a huge, room-sized infographic
labelled "Look at all the sex I never had".
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:18, Reply)
...said the lego train enthusiast that somehow made a baby

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:19, Reply)
they're all stuffed in shoeboxes until the one day a month I make another video
I haven't got a dedicated chamber to show them off to all the friends i don't have.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:21, Reply)
fuck that
emulators and roms and repurpose the room as a judo centre or gym.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:22, Reply)
yer, this
i'd like to build an arcade cabinet with a pc running roms in it. i won't though, because i'm shit
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:25, Reply)
One of my mates is working on a similar project - using a raspberry pi to make a basic OS running a load of old emulators
with, I assume, a HDD full of ROMs. I gave him an old defunct Dreamcast I had knocking about to strip out and make into a case for it
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:32, Reply)
Downloading ROMs is a bit of a chore.
I've got about a dozen each of NES and MegaDrive games downloaded, and I can't face the hassle of getting more.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:39, Reply)
you can download bundled roms

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:41, Reply)
I should look into doing that.
But that sounds like a chore, too.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:44, Reply)
Just found one that's about 5.5Gb, contains 6,666 games, although I guess you can decide which consoles to download to save time

Atari 2600 (772)
MAME (534)
Neo Geo (327)
Nintendo 64 (46)
Nintendo NES (2105)
SNES (790)
Sega Master System (369)
Sega Mega Drive (Sega Genesis) (948)
TurboGrafX (664)
Gameboy Advance (99)
ZX Spectrum (12)

Emulators included
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:49, Reply)
Back in the day,
someone from here sent me a CD with MAME, and a load of ROMs.
Dialup internet, eh - remember that?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:51, Reply)
that's too many nes games

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:56, Reply)
There were LOADS of shit NES games.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:57, Reply)
That really is, something tells me a lot of those will be ROMhacks or unlicensed stuff, especially since there were apparently only 713 licensed NES games
Remember when every NES and SNES game had the "Nintendo Seal of Quality?"
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:59, Reply)
Some of the unlicenced ones got round it by using an official cartridge as a pass-through.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:04, Reply)
controversially i don't really go in for proper retro gaming
anything before the 16bit era can fuck off
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:12, Reply)
Modern games, loaded off a DVD / HDD, feel like a step backwards from the instant on experience of 16-bit cartridge systems.
That said, having sat through the loading screen for Jet Set Willy on the Spectrum, recently, it seems churlish to complain about the WiiU being a bit slow.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:18, Reply)
yeah, that'll be one of the benefits of the nintendo switch
that and no region locking

been playing just cause 3 on ps4 and the load times are infuriating
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:33, Reply)
Agreed really, there's a few in there that I don't mind, the old mario / metroid, at a stretch Zelda and a few more obscure ones
But the majority of games from that time were either seriously hampered by the technology or inferior backports of 16 bit games.

On a side note, I played Sensible Soccer on a Jaguar 64 yesterday, among other games. Now that was a shit console
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:36, Reply)
That's how I got my PS1 library
A purist would say it isn't 100% complete, there's probably a few really obscure Japanese games that aren't included, but the majority of big titles, especially ones the made it to PAL territories, are in there, and a quick modification makes them PSP ready
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:45, Reply)
I might have to do this.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:48, Reply)
I put a psx emulator on my tablet.
Turns out parappa the rapper is near-impossible on a touchscreen.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:49, Reply)
Rhythm games don't emulate very well I've found
Unless you set up the emulator exactly it'll utilize the better hardware on your PC / tablet, which results in framerate issues
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:55, Reply)
I quite like the idea of those clip-on controllers you can get, as virtual controllers are useless.
But my old tablet is one the verge of disintegrating, so it's probably not worth it.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:55, Reply)
Apparently I can connect a ps3 controller via bluetooth.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:58, Reply)
For a better experience,
connect to a Wiimote, for that classic "uncomfortable controller" experience.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:01, Reply)
I tried to play Castlevania on that.
It's too small, same issue with the DS for nes/snes games. You just can't batter it quick enough.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:04, Reply)
I bought a cheap "classic controller" add-on,
which is a genius exercise in ergonomics: something resembling a proper joypad, with a wiimote dangling off it. Lovely bolas effect, if you hurl it across the room in frustration, though.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:10, Reply)
Fuck that, as a compromise maybe as a dedicated place of blade study

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:26, Reply)
ABB: always be bladin'

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:31, Reply)
i'd love a pinball table

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:22, Reply)
Your nan pinned my balls to a table and...
Y'know, I think I might be flogging a dead horse with this "your nan" schtick.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:29, Reply)
*tilt*

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:30, Reply)
hey look, free balls

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:32, Reply)
yeah. to be honest, you were always a bit rubbish at it.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:34, Reply)
I was the best, manolith.
But I've peaked, and am trading on former glory. Let's see of I can give it up.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:42, Reply)
Pep Guardiola getting the sack

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:41, Reply)
I don't have the space for a full pep

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:42, Reply)
I want to ge-ge-g-g-ge-e-et busy
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBLZqJfjQ6U
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:42, Reply)
Not really, I want to get back into bed

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:44, Reply)
yank it hard

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:47, Reply)
me too m8

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:49, Reply)
^

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:50, Reply)
not alone though ;)
x
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:53, Reply)
:)))

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:54, Reply)
Get a room, you two.
*tuts in amused exasperation*
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:55, Reply)
it ouy

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:14, Reply)
iy out, even
sausage fingered idiot
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:16, Reply)

i.reddituploads.com/8a2be087f7f340638643823e1f4adc8d?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=fa82f274207762416529ead364a75dc9
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:16, Reply)
fuck. sake.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:18, Reply)
Excuse me
that's my squad you're dissing there
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:28, Reply)
Is that you in the stupid hat, top right?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:37, Reply)
There's something very off about that "Katanaz" thing at the bottom.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:21, Reply)

An inspection pit...but I hear they are really dangerous to construct and use...still want one though.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:03, Reply)

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