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would somebody be so kind as to explain to me how this housing ladder thing is supposed to work,
because i've been looking at house prices lately and despite the fact that our house has more than tripled in value since we bought it, the only way we'd ever be able to afford a bigger place is to move miles away to somewhere my job isn't
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:03, Reply)
Increase your income.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:05, Reply)
oh.
that sounds more like a career ladder to me.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:08, Reply)
well, they sort of go hand in hand. a house always seems to be worth a house.
other way to do it is to buy a shit heap of a house, do it up so its worth more, sell it and buy a bigger shit heap, or buy cheap in a crap area that you suspect to get better and then over a few years of nice gentrification, make a profit.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:14, Reply)
yeah this area is so much better than when we first moved in,
but it still seems about the cheapest area of the city, starting to think my Tory parents sold me an ideological lemon tbh
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:18, Reply)
Shit for cunts
It'll never be fixed in a meaningful way because too many idiots think their house is an investment rather than shelter so crabs in a bucket mentality takes over.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:11, Reply)
yeah,
you get the gentrification, and you get the Saudis buying everything just to let it sit there.. city centre prices go through the roof and before you know it we've all got 2 hour commutes.

I reckon right now we could actually knock the house down and it would be worth more as an empty plot. The likes of Barratt Homes keep buying it all in bulk and building their little shitblocks all over it.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:16, Reply)
So companies who build homes are an issue?

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:19, Reply)
well i would like to buy a plot of land for one house,
but then they just storm in and buy the whole lot for 200 really crap houses, and how am i supposed to compete with that
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:20, Reply)
Cos when it comes to playing basketball you're always last to be picked and in some cases never picked at all

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:42, Reply)
i didn't want to be on their team anyway

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:59, Reply)
someone needs to find a way to make some other form of investment more profitable.
for most people who dont want to get in to stocks or hedge funds or other investment funds, buying a house and renting it out is the wasiest way to make your money grow a bit. Decent interest on savings and some decent house building push to bring prices down would do it, but so many people would be fucked to pay off mortgages they took out under low interest times, or with ridiculously low deposits, that no government wants to do it.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:17, Reply)
i remember getting interest on savings.
stocks seem like such a risk right now, they've been over priced for years imho, at least if house prices crash you've still got a house.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:22, Reply)
Just put it all in bitcoins

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:25, Reply)
lol

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:26, Reply)
One of my mates actually believes this.
Imo they should be a means of selling drugs and hitmen. Hoarding it like nazi gold is such a pointless use of it.

He's also massively paranoid but doesn't understand cryptography so 'cold stores' his keys by printing them out at putting them in a safe.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:30, Reply)
This is increasingly gaining traction as a practical alternative.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:26, Reply)
now mining one bitcoin takes as much energy
as flying to the moon and back three times
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:28, Reply)
i wonder how many people had a bitcoin wallet back in the day and lost their passowrds or keys.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:29, Reply)
i think i remember reading something about this lately,
and lost bitcoins are now worth billions..
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:30, Reply)
This really does just sum up how fucking idiotic late capitalism has got, hasn't it?
I reckon in aliens came to earth and heard about this, they'd destroy the planet to put us out of our misery.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:49, Reply)
Then again, I suppose it's not really any crazier than paper banknotes, it's just that one step more abstract.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 20:13, Reply)
I read a story about a Swedish guy
who put his bitcoin wallet on his external hard drive and forgot about it for years. When he dug out the disk as part of a big clean-up, he found that his stash had become worth €800,000, and he bought himself a massive house with it.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:33, Reply)
Now why couldn't I have had the foresight to buy a few hundred quid's worth of bitcoin about 7 years ago?
Ethereum's meant to be the one to get into now, except I've also recently bought a house so I don't really have any spare cash. Bummer.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:47, Reply)
me

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:44, Reply)
Same, I remember farming when I first saw it on /b/ , no idea where it all is

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:47, Reply)
all on a hard drive in a tip now

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:49, Reply)
Pushes the price up I suppose, we did our bit

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:51, Reply)
true
some say we're heroes
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:55, Reply)
Yeah, you're better off buying them these days.
Unless you've got a fuck-off gigantic Chinese server farm handy.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:30, Reply)
Etherium miners are chartering jets to fly gpu's to them.
As it's more profitable than waiting for boats.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:32, Reply)
those fucking stupid fucking nerds

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:33, Reply)
I know right.
Might buy some 2ci, you know, for a treat.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:34, Reply)
I'm not going to bother with crypto currency anymore
too many people doing it
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:50, Reply)
hipster

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:52, Reply)
if i understand trickle down economics properly,
when the people at the top have loads of bitcoins, somehow me, as a cryptopovvo, will get some
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:27, Reply)
Aye, fixing it would be political suicide.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:26, Reply)
oh Jeremy Corbyn

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:27, Reply)
Sure, what bit don't you understand?

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:17, Reply)
how to get a better house

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:19, Reply)
basically i'm sick of this shit house,
and i was promised that if you just lived in one for long enough you could eventually get a better one
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:23, Reply)
i think you've misunderstood

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:27, Reply)
you know what
i think definitely, somebody, somewhere, has radically misunderstood the entire concept of a ladder
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:29, Reply)
well, you have to climb a ladder, put some work in.
its not a property escalator.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:31, Reply)
As long as you make sure you pull the ladder up behind you, that's the important bit.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:33, Reply)
oh, yeah.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:35, Reply)
You take the bottom bit and join it onto the top

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:43, Reply)
HELTER-SKELTER

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:58, Reply)
Surprised that Manson is still alive, you'd have thought someone desperate to be famous would have offed him by now

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:04, Reply)
I was thinking they could do a celebrity nonce big brother.
The 'house' is nonce wing and they could 'evict' a contestant each week into gen pop.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:30, Reply)
Excellent idea

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:41, Reply)
Well they're hardly the first, I mean in the Half-Life games you can climb ladders and somehow fire a shotgun at the same time.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:44, Reply)
Dunno who promised you that , must be under 40 and not remember 17% interest and negative equity

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:45, Reply)
i blame Thatcher

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:00, Reply)
It is regan economics that has caused this , she loved it

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:17, Reply)
'monetism' innit.
Adam Curtis covered it quite well.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:27, Reply)
Don't be silly, Gordon Brown eliminated "boom & bust" so the housing market can only grow from here on.
Just like our economy.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:00, Reply)
Still, second best pm this century.
The best being an actual war criminal. Hardly a high bar. It's almost impressive how shit politicians can be.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:41, Reply)
poor John Major :(

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:47, Reply)
Best, or least worst, PM in my lifetime.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 20:14, Reply)
It's almost as if we'd be better off with nobody in charge, nobody around to fuck
things up.

It worked for the Danes.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 20:19, Reply)
He seems comparatively moderate these days, almost left of new-labour
Mental how he came across as a meek dullard but was setting the security services on people who didn't follow the whips.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 20:16, Reply)
You can. You just have to move to Ireland.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 21:23, Reply)
Why do you need a bigger house? Are you, personally, getting bigger?

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:42, Reply)
Poor spacefish

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:52, Reply)
:_(

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:01, Reply)
no we just got more old computers and musical instruments we never play

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:02, Reply)
1. Sell all your old shit to raise funds for a move.
2. Realise that you no longer need to move.
3. Buy new shit.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:04, Reply)
hmm not sure we'd raise much, tbh
it's all junk from car boot sales, maybe it could pay for a weekend in Brighton i dunno
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:45, Reply)
I'm expecting to remortgage to pay for my kids to go to uni,
then find myself moved in to a granny annexe when none of them can afford to get a place of their own.
If I'm clever, I'll flog it whilst they're away studying and live out my twilight years on a cruise ship, or something.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 18:58, Reply)
that's just polluting even more and fucking up your kids' potential future MHEIDT
but why should you care? you'll just be waiting to die, drunk, sun-tanned and happy. in that case, just throw my corpse overboard when I'm done. feed the fish.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:17, Reply)
You lean it up against the side and put one foot on the first rung, then you just step up one rung higher with the other foot.
Just keep doing that until you reach the required height, then stop.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:14, Reply)
Ian bothams footpenis

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 10:06, Reply)
Ian_bothams_footpenis_who?
soz, don't know that name. also, morning.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 10:07, Reply)
morning

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 11:09, Reply)
Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghost of yesterday.
Holding a grudge & harboring anger/resentment is poison to the soul. Get even with people... but not those who have hurt us, forget them, instead get even with those who have helped us.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 12:26, Reply)
Inspiral Quotes

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 12:37, Reply)
Happiness comes more from loving than being loved; and often when our affection seems wounded it is only our vanity bleeding. To love, and to be hurt often, and to love again - this is the brave and happy life.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 12:42, Reply)
It is easy to love the people far away.
It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 12:45, Reply)
Don't be a cunt m8

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:17, Reply)
Remember to use plenty of water-based lube.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 13:48, Reply)
happiness is a cigar called Hamlet

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:25, Reply)
What a wonderful sentiment, more of this sort of thing!

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:17, Reply)
Fuck that Manling.
FETCH THE BOOK OF GRUDGES!
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 17:43, Reply)
This is so beautiful, I wish there was more of this sort of content here, it's really brightened my day

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 19:16, Reply)
i've got a cup of tea

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 13:42, Reply)
Me new job has a coffee syndicate.
There's a slack channely for it and everything.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:03, Reply)
a slack what?

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:08, Reply)
dunno what that is,
we've got a pair of coffee machines in the work kitchen that are usually on the go but i only have one cup of coffee after i get in and then switch to tea for the rest of the day, because too much coffee does me a mischief
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:11, Reply)
Slack (and hipchat) are basically fancy IRC clients aimed at developers.
They're more 'IRC like' than say, Skype.

They also appear to support gifs.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:31, Reply)
You fucking stupid fucking nerd

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:33, Reply)
This would be justified if I installed it for fun rather than it being a tool at work.
They use macs here. So basically the last quarter century I learned about computers can be chucked in the bin.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:36, Reply)
but that's not important right now.
what is a "coffee syndicate"? Do you have to get your limbs replaced by percolators?
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:33, Reply)
Most of us have aeropresseses.
One guy uses a stove-top mocha pot though.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:38, Reply)
is he a cunt?

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:41, Reply)
Nah, he's alright.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:46, Reply)
i've got a can of Tennent's

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:12, Reply)
tennent's super?

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:18, Reply)
Yeah it's alright

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:20, Reply)
no
Tennent's lager
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:32, Reply)
I'm on newkie brown.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:33, Reply)
I've done downloaded the Quatermass experiments.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 14:10, Reply)
athlete's cock?

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:09, Reply)
Nah I've just not washed it in a couple of days.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:51, Reply)
use a brillo pad, that'll clean it

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 15:58, Reply)
I can fuck like Linford Christie though.

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 16:00, Reply)
brown and runny?

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 16:01, Reply)
i don't know how he fucks

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 16:10, Reply)
Finishes in under 10 seconds

(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 16:35, Reply)
RIP Malcolm Young :(((((((

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 15:33, Reply)
i am currently listening to who made who

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 15:35, Reply)
Might watch the Donington dvd

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 15:39, Reply)
haven't got that
i'm really not too keen on live performances, for some reason. i've only ever seen space and meatloaf live. space were excellent, meatloaf was a huge, fat disappointment
(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 15:44, Reply)
Remember you're on the internet,
referring to someone as being "a huge, fat disappointment" is probably going to trigger a lot of people.
(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 17:49, Reply)
Or ask for a cheeky strikey-G.

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 22:04, Reply)
Might as well add things like 'bald' and 'phimotic'. Fish in a barrel.

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 22:07, Reply)

phimotic dole

/JMG's fault
(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 23:01, Reply)
Good old jmg.

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 23:17, Reply)
Sad times.

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 15:40, Reply)
Proof that nominative determinism is bullshit

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 15:55, Reply)
:***(

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 16:26, Reply)
careful, mcbeef'll be along in a minute to call him a cunt and tell you he's glad he's dead
...oh
(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 16:29, Reply)
Shame, 64 is too young to be dying from dementia.

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 17:05, Reply)

m n
Like on 'Page 3", ahaha.
(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 17:51, Reply)
cor!

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 18:06, Reply)
lol, "denentia"

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 18:37, Reply)
I hardly knew 'er!

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 19:09, Reply)
Your reputation is in the hands of others. That's what the reputation is. You can't control that. The only thing you can control is your character.

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 18:08, Reply)

h t
(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 18:28, Reply)


.-"""-.
/ o\
| o 0).-.
| .-;(_/ .-.
\ / /)).---._| `\ ,
'. ' /(( `'-./ _/|
\ .' ) .-.;` /
'. | `\-'
'._ -' /
``""--`------`

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 18:59, Reply)
YES

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 23:03, Reply)
Meh

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 19:38, Reply)
Hullo

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 8:46, Reply)
Morning.
I've lounged about in bed for far too long, this morning.
(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 9:07, Reply)

o n about in bed
(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 9:44, Reply)
ahaha, mring

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 9:44, Reply)
If you can think of a better way to start the day, I'd love to hear it.

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 9:45, Reply)
No, that's the best

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 9:47, Reply)
My wife is still asleep ffs

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 10:43, Reply)
Morning mate.

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 9:27, Reply)
That it is

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 10:43, Reply)
Wotcher.
I was out last night and caught up with the board when I got home. At the risk of a bit of futile righteous indignation, your brother's employers sound like weapons-grade cunts. They were perfectly happy for him to slave away until he left his health behind, and now that he's not earning them any money any more, they kick him out. Cunts.
(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 10:05, Reply)
Yup they're fucking wankers alright

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 10:42, Reply)
They certainly are
As an employer they have a duty of care. He has repeatedly asked for training on new systems to be refused it. ?That's just the start of it. Other colleagues off sick with stress for months at a time.Mr Wilkinson would turn in his grave.
(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 12:12, Reply)
Hiya
New trainers have just arrived.
(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 10:56, Reply)
Nice

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 11:44, Reply)
Limited drop, probably all gone now.

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 12:20, Reply)
Apparently it's bowling and the all you can eat Chinese today, I'm not invited :(

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 10:58, Reply)
:(

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 11:44, Reply)
I'll go pub on my own, sod them, I'll show them

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 12:06, Reply)
I have just awakened

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 11:40, Reply)
the princes are to become Star Wars characters?
one day the plebs will have nothing at all
(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 11:47, Reply)
I'd imagine that saying no to them wasn't really an option

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 13:01, Reply)
Yo

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 13:09, Reply)
Sup

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 14:21, Reply)
Beefy
Just crashing, been a late one, catch you on the flipside
(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 13:30, Reply)
Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 13:32, Reply)
#wisdom

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 14:21, Reply)
hello beefster

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 14:53, Reply)
Howdy pardner

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 15:03, Reply)
Malcolm Young's dead
this means lots of AC/DC today
(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 15:15, Reply)
Any good film recommendations? About to watch Assassin's Creed otherwise.
lololol, 'assbender'
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 21:29, Reply)
Amores Perros.
That's a good one.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 21:56, Reply)
Timecrimes

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 22:03, Reply)
^

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 22:41, Reply)
Subtitled version. I accidentally got the dubbed version and voice actors sounded like the ones in the original Resident Evil.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 23:24, Reply)
Haha!
I never watch anything dubbed if I can avoid it, even if I don't speak a word of the source language.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 23:50, Reply)
Nor me usually, didn't bother reading the torrent description properly.

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 0:15, Reply)
Watch "Why Him?"
It's a better movie.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 22:13, Reply)
anal angst #3

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 22:24, Reply)
Isn't that the one you had a cameo role in?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 22:31, Reply)
Style Wars

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 22:32, Reply)
at least someone with taste

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 23:28, Reply)
Bridge on the river kwai

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 22:32, Reply)
Kill List,
if you're on the market for something messed-up.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 23:04, Reply)
That's a truly awful film.

(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 8:40, Reply)
Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus
I haven't actually seen it, because I'm not the sort of tragic cunt who watches that kind of shit to make themselves feel like they're quirky and interesting. But it might be really good.
(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 0:02, Reply)


Wisconsin Death Trip: www.imdb.com/title/tt0210389

Or (not actually a film though)

The Coconut Revolution: www.imdb.com/title/tt0479000/
(, Sat 18 Nov 2017, 7:11, Reply)
Oh dear
Still no boiler...and it seems like my brother's lost his job.

Fucking dibnah or what
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 16:57, Reply)
shit

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:03, Reply)
merry fucking christmas eh

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:10, Reply)
:(

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:06, Reply)
Maybe he could retrain as a plumber?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:12, Reply)
bizarrely he's always said he wanted to be a postman
I have a feeling the allure of an 'in the pub by 2pm' lifestyle may be behind this
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:13, Reply)
Games dead

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:14, Reply)
I used to live next to the Royal Mail pub on Upper Street
rammed with posties on the piss by lunchtime every day, probably not like that any more
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:16, Reply)
Nah they have to work now, disgusting really

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:17, Reply)
shocking

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:18, Reply)
Always postie work at Christmas.
Wife's cousin's husband was a postie - he fully embraced the "pub by 2pm" lifestyle, be now they're divorced.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:16, Reply)
be now, eh

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:22, Reply)
Be now we led it off the road.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 18:00, Reply)
Agreed.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 18:25, Reply)
One of my pals did it for a while when he dropped it off uni.
He did it to save money but it went for the burton because he clocked off and went on the piss day with the other posties and was completely twatted by teatime.

He even had a secluded part on his round where he'd roll a single skin.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 18:45, Reply)
It's a good trade, bit dirty for my liking , if he really wanted to work with pipes being a gas engineer pays more as they fix boilers

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:14, Reply)
^ yeah, that.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:17, Reply)
Drainage pays over 6 figures but you are covered in shit

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:21, Reply)
Bit like my job then haha

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:34, Reply)
Can't you at least wait until they're off the toilet before charging in

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:43, Reply)
My builder mate has survived many a lay-off by being able to do ground-work.
That and underpinning.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 18:42, Reply)
Oh, that is shit.
Is this because he can't drive currently?
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:12, Reply)
They gave him admin stuff to do whilst he waits to be able to drive again
It 'hasn't worked out'
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:14, Reply)
Oh, sounds like they fucked him.
Could they not have let Christmas go?
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 18:01, Reply)
Couldn't you pay him to try and fix your boiler?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:28, Reply)
Oh someone already suggested that. Fuck it, I'm too exhausted to be expected to make valuable contributions to this forum right now

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:32, Reply)
I've just got the last kronney, :'(

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:35, Reply)
when they reopen will the drinks be the same or will it all be craft fucking ales and so on?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:41, Reply)
Hopefully the same, although greene king don't like selling kronney anyway as it's not their brand

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:45, Reply)
I always go for Heineken whenever possible

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:50, Reply)
I love kronney, if it goes I will fuck this boozer off

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 18:01, Reply)
Greene King beer is awful.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:51, Reply)
Brown king more like!

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:54, Reply)
Come again?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:54, Reply)
*comes*

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:55, Reply)
Ooh, salty!

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 17:56, Reply)
I don't drink it, I've had golden hen before , that was alright

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 18:08, Reply)
Their IPA is remarkable.
Seeing as it isn't an IPA. It's also fucking disgusting, as bad as Doom Bar.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 18:18, Reply)
People love doom bar

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 18:35, Reply)
Yeah I know.
People also like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 18:42, Reply)
Only one of those two things is bad though.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 23:34, Reply)
You're talking to dozer,
If anyone likes it, he hates it
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 18:43, Reply)
It's mass produced shit that's made in Burton on Trent.
It's disgusting.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 18:48, Reply)
Keyword: disgusting.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 18:49, Reply)
Doom Bar's alright,
but it's got to the point where seemingly every pub in Britain sells it, often as their only proper beer on the pumps and I'm fucking bored of it now.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 20:49, Reply)
A pub needs 2 lagers, 2 bitters, a stout and at a push a cider on tap, old skool

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 21:02, Reply)
Long shot...
Where abouts in the country are you?
What's wrong with the boiler?
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 21:11, Reply)
That's shit, that is.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 21:52, Reply)
Alright landlubbers, chubbers and rub-a-dub-dubbers.
The weekend is soon upon us. Is your house in order?

Alt: how are you planning on spending the next 48 hours of free time allocated to you before having to reshoulder the yoke of labour?
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:05, Reply)
Why are you talking/typing like this?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:06, Reply)
Because I am bored out of my Monday-to-Friday mind.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:21, Reply)
What?
Pub
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:07, Reply)
Good man.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:22, Reply)
writing to my MP about fucking oranges

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:17, Reply)
Is your MP Stephen Milligan?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:22, Reply)
y

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:41, Reply)
^ too small for a melon

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:28, Reply)
Melon skin is either too hard or too coarse

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:32, Reply)
My house is very much not in order
The hall and sitting room are filled with half the contents of my daughter's room in the folorn hope that these shitcunts do the work needed to restore heating and hot water.

Meeting up with my old pal Arson Dave later, should be entertaining. Tomorrow is a party for some friends who are leaving London, which is likely to be pretty hefty so nothing planned for Sunday
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:25, Reply)
Is your upstairs bigger than your downstairs?
so to speak
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:41, Reply)
I reckon his arse is bigger than his bust.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:44, Reply)
correct

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:01, Reply)
I don't have any stairs

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:59, Reply)
Just answer the question, sir

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:14, Reply)
OK then....no

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:09, Reply)
fine, you're free to go

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:49, Reply)
^escalates quickly

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:36, Reply)
^
gives the WHOLE board a lift
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:38, Reply)
I hear Arson Dave dishes out some sick burns.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:44, Reply)
Dunno

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:27, Reply)
Would you like to phone a friend?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:57, Reply)
Nope, I normally only text anyway

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:58, Reply)
Games, shit films, games

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:36, Reply)
Weekending like a pro.
I've been looking for that "Thelma" lately but it's too recent a release and I can't find it anywhere yet.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:52, Reply)

Thel smeg
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:00, Reply)
I dun lol

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:18, Reply)
Going down to that London on Sunday.
Eldest has requested a trip to the Natural History Museum, which is always an enjoyable day out.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:43, Reply)
Ooh, nostalgia.
Haven't been there in donkey's years.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:51, Reply)
They DO have donkey's ears

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:38, Reply)
I seem to remember there's an emperor penguin in there somewhere too.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:43, Reply)
BULLSHIT

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:32, Reply)
there was
but it may have only been there for an episode of doctor who
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:37, Reply)
I definitely stood in front of a penguin in a museum when I was about 9.
It might not have been an emperor penguin though, or the NHM either, but I think it was.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:42, Reply)
See?
The lies that get thrown around on this board are fucking disgraceful
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:49, Reply)
Nothing says 'lie with impunity' like "you're on the internet!"

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 16:10, Reply)
frobisher

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:50, Reply)
not sure

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:56, Reply)
If *you're* not sure,
then who is?
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:57, Reply)
I've just bought some new sneakers, whoops

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:00, Reply)
^ /talk's answer to imelda marcos

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:05, Reply)
Not those Dublin's everyone's gone nuts for

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:05, Reply)

www.footlocker.co.uk/en/p/adidas-hardcourt-big-logo-men-shoes-18?v=314107105604
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:08, Reply)
Gonna get mugged by slavs for those

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:11, Reply)
I love them
had to get half a size smaller than usual - hope they fit
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:14, Reply)

court in the boys' showers
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:15, Reply)
Ghastly, as ever.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:19, Reply)
There's probably a shoe somewhere under all that logo

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:22, Reply)
Lol they put a big logo on it and it looks like weed lol!

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:23, Reply)
Oh I thought it was a crocus

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:25, Reply)
Adidas?
Adihash, more like! lol
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:26, Reply)
Lol ikr?!
Budidas lol!
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:35, Reply)
'gives you speed'
Never understood that one
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:08, Reply)
lol it means drugs!!!
Geddit?!
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:46, Reply)
Mona Lisa smoking a spliff
The Pope smoking a spliff. An alien smoking a spliff.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:50, Reply)
take me to your dealer lol

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 16:06, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 16:38, Reply)
no m8

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:51, Reply)
Ohhhh lets all go to sports direct
where mcbeef gets all erect
la la la la
la la la la
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:06, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:07, Reply)
excellent

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:10, Reply)

sneakers
+ massive pantaloons
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:24, Reply)
Me too

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:21, Reply)

.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:16, Reply)
Ummm... what?
Salty sea prick.

alt. Bananarama tonight, cocktails tomorrow, Justice League on Sunday
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:27, Reply)
I've been excused having to buy tickets to see Justice League
as my youngest is incensed over the casting of Jason Momoa as Aquaman.

He's got a point, though. John DiMaggio's portrayal of the character in Brave And The Bold is the definitive take.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:34, Reply)
A bunch of people in a Facebook group to which I subscribe were raving and frothing at the mouth with enthusiasm at the beginning of the week.
I thought it looked like it was going to be a bit shit but I didn't want to rain on their parade. Now they're all griping about what a massive let-down it was and I am quietly lolling.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:38, Reply)
Wonder Woman is the only "DC cinematic universe" (or whatever) effort that I've bothered with.
I think Green Lantern set an appropriate tone, so it's a shame they seem to be going for "depressing" rather than "fun". That said, the trailers for JL do make it look like the sort of thing I'd enjoy.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:43, Reply)
Yeah, I enjoyed that one as well.
I was also pleasantly surprised by 'Doctor Strange'. I gave 'Batman v. Superman' a miss because the whole idea behind it is just dumb. 'Man of Steel' was also much better than a lot of critics seem to think IMHO.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:45, Reply)
MoS is on my Netflix (or Amazon, whatever), I just can't bring myself to suffer through it.
And I've watched Quest For Peace of my own volition.
Bad enough when Zak Snyder took a dump on Watchmen.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:51, Reply)
With the irony that Joss Whedon is now being accused of taking over Zac Snyder's project
and taking a giant steaming dump on it.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:56, Reply)
Green lantern may have been one of the worst films ever made.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:48, Reply)
A great film, no, but fun, like a comic book film should be.
He saves the day by conjuring a giant HotWheels set! What's not to like about that?
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:54, Reply)
You've clearly not seen Batman V Superman

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:51, Reply)
He might have done.
They could both be one of the worst films ever made, since there are a lot of terrible films out there.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 16:17, Reply)
I quite enjoyed
Apart from the whole "Martha" thing.
The extended edition makes more sense.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 16:32, Reply)
You're raising a racist?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:40, Reply)
like father, like son

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:42, Reply)
I suppose it is a long tradition.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:48, Reply)
His mum was abducted by Dothraki.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:48, Reply)
Why is he against mamoa really?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:49, Reply)
Dark haired and moody, he's the antithesis of what Aquaman should be.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:57, Reply)
Because comic book characters never change throughout the entirety of their run?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:14, Reply)
I understand that, but then I'm not 9 years old.
I doubt my boy will be the last person to complain "They changed it, now it sucks".
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:20, Reply)
Well, he was blond for a start...
Mind you, they've beefed up wonder woman. She's like something out of GOT... Only with shitter effects
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:45, Reply)
If they made a superhero film with a blonde Emilia Clarke and Gal Gadot in it,
I would watch the hell out of it. Rowr!
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:49, Reply)
Wonder Woman is my boy's superhero benchmark.
Everything we've seen since has been judged "not as good as Wonder Woman".
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:00, Reply)
I personally thought it was "ok"
Shabby villain and typical Snyder shitty fx aside.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:27, Reply)
Yeah, the villain was a bit pants.
The rest of it was fun tho'.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:31, Reply)
I was only there for Thewlis' mighty mustache.
Not really, I thought it was great. Very similar in tone to the Captain America film, which was also bang on the money.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:32, Reply)
See, I didn't like that one either.
I was more up for the espionage tale of the Winter Soldier
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 16:33, Reply)
Winter Soldier was ace.
I like it when they take things a little bit darker.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 16:40, Reply)
Sheepy is in town tomorrow.
We're supposed to be just going for a nice dinner and a few drinks. Last time I went to see him for a quiet weekend I took more mushrooms than I have ever taken before and went to a heavy horse and steam fair.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:28, Reply)
I prefer happy horse

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:30, Reply)
Is that the one where everyone was a sourpuss and disapproved of you having a good time?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:34, Reply)
Nah, but that has happened.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:41, Reply)
A heavy horse and steam fair on a heavy dose of shrooms
sounds like a deleted scene from 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas'.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:51, Reply)
"We were somewhere around Felpersham on the edge of Borsetshire when the shrooms began to take hold..."

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:08, Reply)
"can't stop here, this is sheep country"

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:14, Reply)
#hollowell4lyf

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:44, Reply)
my house is a fucking tip
not really, there's just shitloads of wool everywhere
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:28, Reply)
Do you also have a machine that catapults you out of bed and into your clothes?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:39, Reply)
i wish!

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 14:39, Reply)
I want massive drugs
and I want it now
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:09, Reply)
join the club, m8

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:13, Reply)
We're having guests around tonight
They are mostly from Brazil.

I don't want to be at work right now, I want to be where the naughties are....
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:41, Reply)
Ooh yes.
Having to faff around on stage for a couple of hours with a children's choir and god knows how much toing and froing would be infinitely more enjoyable tonight if I could just have a bowl or two beforehand.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:20, Reply)
Arson Dave better have some sniff later or I shall be very disappointed

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:21, Reply)
Text him now so he doesn't turn up empty-handed.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:24, Reply)
I don't rely on other people's organisational skills
I've always got it covered...
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:42, Reply)
juicer time then

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:46, Reply)
Yeah

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:49, Reply)
Gonna be your man in motion
All I need is a pair of wheels
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:52, Reply)
35 mins to go :(((((((((((((((

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 15:56, Reply)
15 mins to go :)))))))))))

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 16:15, Reply)
No juicer at all 2nite :(((((((((((

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 16:02, Reply)
4/7, RIP The Doveston
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-42017084
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:13, Reply)
3 wee

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:18, Reply)
3, "on the bench".
This quiz is just a big advert to get us to read the BBC News website every day, isn't it?
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:21, Reply)
Yes

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:23, Reply)
5

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:23, Reply)
5/7

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:24, Reply)
Piss on a turtle, your score 2/7

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:27, Reply)
3

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:28, Reply)
"up yours, dickface" Your score: 3/7

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:31, Reply)
On the bench, 2/7

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:36, Reply)
Just ate an orange
it went fucking everywhere. Fuck oranges, man.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:40, Reply)
don't let them get to you, man, that's what they want

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:51, Reply)
Reporting all this anti-loyalist hate speech

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:54, Reply)
A bad fruitman always blames his fruit

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:59, Reply)
Colleague is playing Satie on the office bluetooth speaker - it's lovely
but I just said "Ain't no party like an Eric Satie party" and got told to leave the room.

How have you been a total dick recently?
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:36, Reply)
I called the pope a cunt, wrong of me really, it was just the booze talking

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:43, Reply)
He is a bit holier-than-thou

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:38, Reply)
I haven't

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:44, Reply)
You have been very pleasant, it's true

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:38, Reply)
Unsubscribe

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:45, Reply)
It's like usubscribing from Groupon
impossible.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:39, Reply)
I might be a total dick tomorrow
Said to a mate was going to go to his party, booked a hotel near the venue near Angel tube for an expensive price because it was close. Two weeks ago he moved the party to Chiswick.

Now I'm thinking sod it, go out drinking in Soho with the mrs and then do some filthy dancing with her at some young persons indie night.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:51, Reply)
Chis. Best of all the wicks.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:40, Reply)
*adds to list of musical acts I've never heard of*

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:53, Reply)
C20th composer
you definitely know his Trois Gymnopédies off of an advert or summat
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:56, Reply)
Shut up Tom Service

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:57, Reply)
who the fuck is Tom Service??

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:14, Reply)
you've done a disservice by not knowing Tom Service

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:16, Reply)
I'll probably be removed from active service

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:17, Reply)
He presents boring radio3 music shows for people who pretend they enjoy classical music

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:17, Reply)
Ah
I've never really gotten into classical music. I've listened to bits and pieces, but it's not for me.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:18, Reply)
I see
"Best Mobile Phone Ad Music in the World EVER! Part 2"
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:16, Reply)
Is Satie one of those things i should know?
Or is it some awful radio 3 wank?
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:55, Reply)
Very gentle piano plinky plonky classical stuff

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:40, Reply)
I'm not sure I get that joke, even though I've just googled the phrase.
Erik Satie's a bit of lovely, though.

It's been a while since I last trolled anyone IRL. There are precious few opportunities in the office to get up to any decent hijinks.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:00, Reply)
that's because you pronounce Satie the French way

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:08, Reply)
You could be onto something here.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:11, Reply)
i told someone to google spider crab
but then made up for it by telling them to google quokka

what's satie?
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:13, Reply)
The French composer
who wrote Throw Yourself on Your Husband's Funeral Pyre.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:17, Reply)

sounds a bit edgy for me soz
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:17, Reply)
Ooh I am partial to a nice bit of Satie

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:15, Reply)
Alright dozer

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:17, Reply)
I'm not that prick

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:18, Reply)

i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article2320245.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/Jimmy-Hill.jpg
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:36, Reply)

media1.tenor.com/images/a9176f1aef1f40cc7dafe1c37bf87143/tenor.gif?itemid=5263409
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:42, Reply)

img3.stockfresh.com/files/p/photography33/m/53/1677501_stock-photo-man-scratching-his-chin.jpg
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:48, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8rCy173y7Y
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:53, Reply)

media1.tenor.com/images/402a51a9019718c028c18c3c4d2d6361/tenor.gif?itemid=5684543
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:54, Reply)
Got two viewings in a minute
and I think they're both second viewings. You never know!

I do know. They won't buy it.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:19, Reply)
I hope they do, and then I hope you move closer to me.
X
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:20, Reply)
I might well be moving closer to you
but a matter of metres, rather than miles
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:22, Reply)
It's good enough for me

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:22, Reply)
have you thought about a gimmick to help get your house sold?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:21, Reply)
suggestions please

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:22, Reply)
Secret murder hole under the stairs.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:23, Reply)
There was a raised vegetable patch in the garden when we moved here
Before we demolished it, we joked about the previous owner burying his wife in it. We laughed. Then we stopped and contemplated what it would be like if that were true.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:25, Reply)

it's haunted
it was a murder house
there may or may not be people buried under the patio
put a dog in the photos
say it includes new curtains (then rip everything out when you move including the copper pipes)
tell some jokes while they're looking around
do a plop in next door's garden so yours like nicer

i hope that helps x
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:25, Reply)
I asked what the protocol is regarding what we take with us
Long story short, I'm taking all the plug sockets, light fixtures and floorboards. I'll take the plaster with me if I can get it off in big enough bits.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:26, Reply)

keep a copy of the key so you can go back and take anything they're stupid enough to put in their new house
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:29, Reply)
I think legally you have to leave a light.
When my dad bought his last house he went to move in and the old owner was digging some trees out, claiming he bought them so he was taking them. Dad had to give him 500 quid to pack it in.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:36, Reply)
You have to leave all electrical fittings, but if you fitted fancy stuff you can swap it with just plastic shit

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:45, Reply)
What about the copper in the wiring?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:51, Reply)
The metal core has to stay but you can strip all the insulation off and take that with you

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:11, Reply)
BDSM dungeon

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:25, Reply)
I've got a little cupboard under the stairs
If you find claustrophobia sexy, you'll love it
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:28, Reply)
Prostate massage room.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:26, Reply)
Every room is a prostate massage room
if you believe
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:27, Reply)
Tommy Wiseau's lesszzzzzzzzzzz

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:02, Reply)

not sure if helps -

www.moneysupermarket.com/money-made-easy/top-ten-tips-to-sell-your-home/
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:31, Reply)
Tl:dr
Have a nice house
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:42, Reply)
1. Choose the right estate agent
they're all cunts so good luck with that
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:46, Reply)
Yes, but they're YOUR cunt
it's much better being the paying client than the buyer.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:37, Reply)
well yes, that's a fair point mr dead :)

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:23, Reply)
I'm not parting with a penny until you sort out the ridiculous situation of your upstairs not being bigger than your downstairs

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:39, Reply)
It is ridiculous what he's trying to pull here.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:49, Reply)
I'm so sick of all his shit

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:51, Reply)
oh man I fucking love orbital

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 11:55, Reply)
Best of all the sanders.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 12:13, Reply)
Morning bumboy's

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:11, Reply)
Great googly gumballs, so it is!
I had that morning in the back of my cab once. Went on for hours, it did.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:15, Reply)
Send 'em back
s'whadaysay
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:23, Reply)
Garrold

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:17, Reply)
Oi oi

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:24, Reply)
FriYAY!
Almost the WOOkend
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:21, Reply)
NO SLEEP TILL BEDTIME!!!

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:24, Reply)
Eggy guffs.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:33, Reply)
And a sulpherous daybreak to you too
stinky
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:34, Reply)
I'm blaming it on last night's jerk chicken.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:42, Reply)
strikey-g etc

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:45, Reply)
I had a fantastic curry last night
It's been a 'productive' morning, shall we say. Leftovers for lunch also.

Ppfffaarrrp
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:49, Reply)
So you fixed the central heating your self then?
quack
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:05, Reply)
If those cunts don't fix the boiler today, someone is going to die

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:07, Reply)
Sitting at home during the day, when the heating isn't running,
has given me renewed appreciation for central heating - it's bloody freezing in here.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:19, Reply)
We're lucky that we never need the heating on due to everyone downstairs' heating coming up through the floor
Literally never switch it on
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:21, Reply)
I reckon if we had heating downstairs but none upstairs, we'd be alright.
But it's a bugger the other way around.
The loft is uncommonly clement, at the moment.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:24, Reply)
You've reminded me that I've neglected to prepare any lunch for myself.
Thanks, beefy!
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:05, Reply)
I've still got a box of Vietnamese leftovers from Wednesday to eat as well
Nice one, me
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:06, Reply)
let's have a round of applause for mcbeef

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:16, Reply)

round of applause bronx cheer
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:22, Reply)
Not sure foood addiction should be celebrated

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:23, Reply)
he'll be dead by Christmas

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:37, Reply)
Good title for a seasonal song
the video would be a tear-jerker
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:55, Reply)

tear chicken
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:09, Reply)

jerker dentist
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:23, Reply)
^

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:23, Reply)
hope you're doing something lol wakki for children in need

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:39, Reply)
Children in in need of a stern telling off
and quick to bed with no supper.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:41, Reply)
RIP mafia munchkin Toto Riina

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:41, Reply)
tonight he sleeps with the fishes :(

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:45, Reply)
I wonder if Nino Rota was inspired by Toto Riina

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:57, Reply)
defo

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:59, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:44, Reply)
It's cold and crisp here

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:01, Reply)
nice innit

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:08, Reply)
You could cut glass with my nipples

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:14, Reply)
will do, thanks m8

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:19, Reply)
Cor!

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:21, Reply)
*bums*

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:56, Reply)
IBYD

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:01, Reply)
Uh, what about the bumgirls and bumtrans and bumgenderfluids?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:21, Reply)
right here waiting for you

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:24, Reply)
Maybe you could get a cloth and clear up those bumgenderfluids?

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:30, Reply)
Needed changing anyway

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:54, Reply)
They can muck in

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:54, Reply)
Indeed!
In true bumboy fashion, Im off to see Bananarama tonight!
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:45, Reply)
You want them back
Don't care what you have to do?
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:48, Reply)
nananana heyyyy Goodbye

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:55, Reply)
It aint what you do, it's the gay that you do innit

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:09, Reply)
He was really gaying something

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:42, Reply)
Ay oop ducks

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 9:51, Reply)
Look, it is 2017
Everyone is at least 40% gay
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:02, Reply)
Anything less and you can be refused service at leading supermarkets.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:08, Reply)
Only if you're in the 10 gay items or less aisle

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:43, Reply)
Good idea, you don't want him hanging around where there's kids
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-42023245
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:11, Reply)
'Kilos of Glitter'
the ill-advised 'comeback' album
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:13, Reply)
He'
Has the potential to do terrible damage to the environment, apparently.
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:14, Reply)
If a speck of glitter touches my children
there will be blood
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 10:32, Reply)
Stobe the Hobo is dead.
I got introduced to his train-hopping adventures via B3ta. He died in a train accident in Baltimore last week. :-(
(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 4:32, Reply)
Stobe the Homo, more like!

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 6:55, Reply)
Stroke the oboe.

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:49, Reply)
:)

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 8:58, Reply)
Good sas program on bbc4, I've seen it before, this is part one

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 20:04, Reply)
I'm tempted to watch that itv thing about weed, apparently Biggins has a whitey and Fashanu is a complete bellend.
I either got confused or caused confusion and the long and short of it is I ended up with an extra jumbo sausage in the chippy. 2 sausages, chips and a king rib, fat-tastic.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 20:16, Reply)
I watched a bit last night, it's well made

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 20:19, Reply)
It's just pushing the marigold hotel thing further, it's a cannabis tour

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 20:39, Reply)
Christ, imagine getting stoned with Biggins.
That fucking laugh, constantly.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 20:40, Reply)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWASrMdi0c8
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 20:41, Reply)
If you were properly done that could be infectious, it's how he gets people

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 20:43, Reply)
And yet Biggins walks free while Spacey is now a pariah.

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 20:45, Reply)
I don't think biggins is a sexual predator

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 21:02, Reply)
The night is young.

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 22:49, Reply)
pretty sure he is

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 0:42, Reply)

media1.tenor.com/images/ca6fdba456fb92d9cb956a7c9fd2be11/tenor.gif
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 21:02, Reply)
K, I'm giving it a good old rub right now

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 21:12, Reply)
Bent sexual predator

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 21:16, Reply)
vs chutney alien

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 21:38, Reply)
vs poofterminator

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 22:18, Reply)
Sperminator Salivation

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 23:13, Reply)
juicer time then, yeah?

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:05, Reply)
alright mate
Day from hell - I finish at 6 and by 6:05 at the latest I will be downing Stella in the street
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:08, Reply)
can't say I blame you

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:16, Reply)
On it, closes down Sunday at 5pm, so I'll have to walk 200m further ffs

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:14, Reply)
Shit. That's rubbish.

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:16, Reply)
It's only for a few weeks

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:22, Reply)
What a stupid time of year to do this

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:39, Reply)
Not up to them, it's just how the planning goes, opens the 9th I've just been told

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:47, Reply)
they'll still get most of the xmas drinkers then

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:52, Reply)
Yeah, we all think the price will go up when it reopens

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 18:07, Reply)
Just seen your earlier question
They are subcontractors of Keir
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 18:18, Reply)
Not sure I know anybody at keir anymore, are they smyth and byford? I know people there

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 18:27, Reply)
No idea man

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 18:59, Reply)
Shame, construction m and e is a surprisingly small family, I once left one company and through buyout and shit ended up working with the same people 5 years later

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 19:08, Reply)
Nah, I got homecans and Total War Warhammer 2 Mortal Empires to keep me occupied.
I'm playing as dwarfs. It's hard mr H. Why is it so hard?
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:39, Reply)
because dwarves are the size of kids and that makes you VERY HARD
you dirty rotter stuj
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:40, Reply)
It might be the beards.
And the boozing. I make a brewery in every hold I build.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:42, Reply)
Is that any good? I haven't played a Total War game properly since the first Rome one
Also they missed a trick there not calling it Total Warhammer
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:53, Reply)
HOMOCANS more like.
What's a homecan?
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 18:17, Reply)
Nothing, what's a homecan with you?

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 18:19, Reply)
You're goddamned right.

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 18:19, Reply)
Not til tomorrow night, Horbs...
I'm good through the week.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 18:27, Reply)
Startin' a thread right here, yessir, startin' a big ol' thread.
How's your week going? Looking foward to some epic Chrimbo piggery?
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 13:40, Reply)
Just picked up a Surface Book 2
So I am feeling light of cash.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:10, Reply)
Noice, probably.
I don't really know anything about Surfaces. What are the specs?
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:13, Reply)
It has good shit inside it
Apparently, not bad shit
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:16, Reply)
Ooh yeah, 16Gb of RAM is plenty to play with.

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:21, Reply)
I just spaffed a bit

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:32, Reply)
Clean up team to Major Turd's boxers

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:38, Reply)
Lovely design but rather pricey. I just got the 15 inch lenovo 720, bit big and heavy but the most powerful convertible laptop I could find.

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:32, Reply)
Yeha the other one that caught my eye was the latest HP Spectre range
But after reading the battery drains super quick with the 4K screen, opted for the Book
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:38, Reply)
Ooh, just seen it has 8th gen quad core mobile intel chip and discrete gtx 1050
So that's by far the most powerful tablet you can get.
Still out of my budget though.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:40, Reply)
Been saving for about 2 years for this
And still giving myself grief for spending this much cash on me.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:42, Reply)
I got given mine for free at work

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:58, Reply)
For the third time, that is a laminated placemat
And you fucked up the maze. Again
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:03, Reply)
I've got two of them

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:58, Reply)
You should sell one and pay for a decent plumber then

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:00, Reply)
I'm starting to think that no such thing exists

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:02, Reply)
They have all left because of Brexit
We just have the shit ones now
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:04, Reply)
Boiler engineers aren't plumbers #justsaying

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:06, Reply)
Every single person I've had to deal with in this whole sorry tale has been an incompetent prick
I might have a massive party in the flat downstairs whilst I still have the keys
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:11, Reply)
Is it a large firm?

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:15, Reply)
Bit personal

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:30, Reply)
He's clearly embarrassed

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:46, Reply)
This bloody metal gear solid is a bit mad, but i am enjoying it, can't really complain when it's a big game for only 8 quid.
I googled something for some help and someone said "that's not really available for the first 20 hours or so"
How fucking long is it going to be?
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:15, Reply)
Haha, just like this week's epic online shitstorm over Battlefront II.

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:17, Reply)
I missed that.
Edit: I'm an idiot
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:21, Reply)
Saw yesterday, with the new Star Wars Battlefront 2 game
To unlock all the hidden bits you'd need to play it for 4,528 hours, or you can spend £1,500.

Fuck. That.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:20, Reply)
Yeah, I saw a lot of the shouting online about it.
Seems they done fucked up there.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:22, Reply)
Meindepissu desu!
The game costs $60 but to unlock Darth Vader as a playable character you have to pay $80, or (and some guy worked this out) devote every loot crate you earn for over four months towards unlocking him. EA did a very weaselly and patronising AMA on Reddit yesterday about it.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:22, Reply)
I'm playing Total War Warhammer 2 Pugso.
I think I need help.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:37, Reply)
Don't really do anything for Christmas

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:16, Reply)
Doesn't mean you can't engage in a bit of piggery nonetheless.

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:17, Reply)
I'll be on the brandy and Bailey's from December 1st

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:26, Reply)
Only a fortnight till mince pies for breakfast.

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:32, Reply)
More of a Kwanzaa guy

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:26, Reply)
Limewire or gtfo.

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:27, Reply)
Slsk
Or not listen to random shit
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:38, Reply)
First time I've heard of that one.
Is it any good?
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:46, Reply)
Used it since 2001 to hunt down obscure stuff
Essentially you select folders you want to share, and then you search for stuff you want. Hunted down a hell of a lot of real rare stuff on there, like Bowie studio recordings and such, deffo one for those looking for less mainstream music
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:49, Reply)
I might just have to give this one a try.
Is it just music or is there a bit of everything?
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:52, Reply)
It is good for audio books, web books,and comics
But a bit flaky for video
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:57, Reply)
I can't condone stealing content

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:59, Reply)
No, no, of course.
We're all upstanding citizens here.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:01, Reply)
yep, no rent to pay next month
so i'm spending it on christmas gubbins
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 14:54, Reply)
Nicely.
Stump for the luxury tinsel this year, with Bluetooth capability.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:07, Reply)
got shitloads already
i need new tree lights and chocolate baubles, though. i'll be spending a decent chunk of it on presents and food, but i'm sure there'll be some left for new clothes and booze
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:09, Reply)

baubles salty balls
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:15, Reply)
salted caramel, maybe

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:18, Reply)
now we're talking

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:20, Reply)
i'm starting to get in a christmassy mood now
i get more excited than the kids do, it's ridiculous
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:24, Reply)
Eh, the world needs more people who get excited about Christmas.
You restore the balance in the Force by counteracting all the cynical old gets.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:30, Reply)
i'm cynical the other 11 months of the year
but i'll happily sit in my christmas jumper, eating rum truffles and watching die hard, whilst wrapping presents
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:36, Reply)
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Looks legit...
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:51, Reply)
too legit to quit?

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:54, Reply)
I'm on a date-base system!?!?!

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:58, Reply)
WUFOO!

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:56, Reply)
WHu a fool!

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:59, Reply)
Ooh, I'd definitely click.
Better disable my antivirus first in case it stops the Java reading my Facebook e-mail #oldpeoplefacebook.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:59, Reply)
It's actually cute!

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:10, Reply)
It's been a rubbish week all told, nice weekend ahead though, and out for dinner tonight
Xmas at my ma's, always a huge spread. No kid this time which is sad, but we have her for New Year instead and have my favourite Argentinian steakhouse booked for dinner so that will be ace.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:01, Reply)

steakhouse booked munchkin, Diego Maradona,
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:03, Reply)
going to my sister's for dinner
after which we shall get pissed and play cards against humanity
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:08, Reply)
I'm making a birthday cake tonight
I'm gonna make red velvet cake. Never done this one before...
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:11, Reply)
pro tip: don't use real velvet

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:12, Reply)
That was a fucking disaster
I mean real, proper disaster. Icing all over the floor, cake actually split in half and slid off the cake stand. That is, without doubt, the worst baking experience of my life.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 22:05, Reply)
however much cochineal the recipe calls for, add more
2 bottles usually does the trick
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:19, Reply)
Fucking shit want bollocks cake arse fuckit

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 22:22, Reply)
Red food colouring is made with crushed up beetles
Gotta make a pear frangipane for a charity bake tomorrow, Been saving my one good deed for the year for this.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:20, Reply)
I am never baking again

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 22:23, Reply)
I'm looking forward to my annual toss off from Santa round the back of Greggs

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:23, Reply)
cor!

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:37, Reply)
Cheating on Sammi AGAIN.
:(
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:41, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:25, Reply)
hiya

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:42, Reply)

i33.tinypic.com/330s2s7.gif
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:43, Reply)
I was thinking of that episode only yesterday
because I heard Runaway Train playing somewhere, and it reminded me of that
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 16:47, Reply)
we're all runaway trains

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:03, Reply)
just some of us have piss jars

(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 17:05, Reply)

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