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SHIT OFF
not really! Y'araight?
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:29, Reply)
might do a 'pearoast'

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:36, Reply)
TEH GLASSCOCK!

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:49, Reply)
yeah not bad

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:41, Reply)
nice one will

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:43, Reply)
Gotta have house music all night long

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:47, Reply)
I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist on a bit of a break between maybe 2:30am and 5

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:49, Reply)
Oh, alright then

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:50, Reply)
+dancing and beatboxing in the nude contest

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 19:04, Reply)
DANCING AND PRANCING

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:52, Reply)
Flying, stop you're crying

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:56, Reply)
yasssssss

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 18:27, Reply)
move your body
shake your body
rock your body
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 20:43, Reply)
sexay boday

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 20:43, Reply)
fill your potty

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 21:29, Reply)
squeeze your jobby

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 23:55, Reply)
Feeling a bit off, last pint and I'm off home , well bent

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:52, Reply)
Feeling your age, hmm?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:54, Reply)
I very much doubt it, I live a carefree bachelor lifestyle with no worries

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 18:12, Reply)
Alright, Cliff

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 19:06, Reply)
Hi Dick!!
Hope your day got better.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:53, Reply)
Yeah, beer o'clock

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 18:18, Reply)
I guess.
Going to see 'Ghost in the Shell' at the cinema in a minute.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 18:29, Reply)
Spoiler: Bruce Willis is a hermit crab.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 19:07, Reply)
if this had been anyone else, i'd have clicked 'i like this'

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 19:18, Reply)
Aw, you know you love me really!

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 20:17, Reply)
your borderline racist i-call-a-cheeseburger-a-cheeseburger rhetoric was the final nail in the coffin of our relationship

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 20:35, Reply)
I always knew sandwich sectarianism would be the death of us.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 20:51, Reply)

r l crab
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 20:10, Reply)
Bluce Wirris? you massive racist

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 20:26, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 20:27, Reply)
Nothing funny here n8
You should say solly
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 21:31, Reply)
^n8 dogg

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 21:34, Reply)
Regulate *this* m8
*points at groin*
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 22:29, Reply)
Mc Beef's about to make some bodies turn cold.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 22:59, Reply)
^the n8ure boy

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 21:41, Reply)
Richard mcflair

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 22:28, Reply)
POOOOOoooo!

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 22:29, Reply)
Just done a massive big jobs
Feel much better
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 18:50, Reply)
good grief

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 19:03, Reply)
Don't judge me

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 19:16, Reply)
i will judge whomsoever i choose, mat8

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 19:26, Reply)
haha not really no! lol!!!

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 19:02, Reply)
I got an unlabelled bag of white powder through the post.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 19:09, Reply)
that was me m8

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 19:16, Reply)
Not as good as a double decker

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 19:17, Reply)
alright "the Aryans in classic HBO series Oz"

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 19:29, Reply)
clicking this

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 20:03, Reply)
it's 30 minutes later and still no click
did you get lost?
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 20:34, Reply)
^clyping

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 20:38, Reply)
Cly-ay-ay-ay-ping, over you...

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 21:00, Reply)
fucks sake, it's just a stupid scottish word for telling tales
what a waste of a google
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 21:40, Reply)
everyone only has a limited number of googles
when they're gone, they're gone
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 21:45, Reply)
Well obviously, unless you found a way to live forever
like, DUH
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 22:07, Reply)
i'll just switch to to lycos

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 22:31, Reply)
I've never really gotten over altavista being sold to Yahoo!

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 22:50, Reply)
Dogpile was where all the cool kids searched.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 23:00, Reply)
How come you don't see white dogpiles anymore?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 23:11, Reply)
This is the worst Miss Sally ever

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 20:44, Reply)
think you'd better slow... your worst miss down

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 21:43, Reply)
clicking this

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 21:51, Reply)
More lies

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 21:59, Reply)
it was as well, the cheeky cunt

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 23:14, Reply)
i just dun a poo and no joke i'm glad to be alive, nearly fainted twice
like clawing out set cement it was
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 23:58, Reply)
are you dying?
it sounds like you're falling apart at the seams. can i have your stuff when you're gone?
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 0:28, Reply)
yeah no
just dehydrated and full of shit
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 0:49, Reply)
Hullo flebster's, Richard here
I'm having a fucking arsehole of a day.

How's yours?
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:03, Reply)
My arsehole is none of your business.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:08, Reply)

none of you open fo
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:18, Reply)
And business is booming.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:22, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8152144
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:33, Reply)
Dunno what s mustaine is.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:42, Reply)
Mustaine Sally

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:53, Reply)
She's got everything that uncle john needs

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:00, Reply)
no real names pls

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 16:58, Reply)
The Mus on the Tyne is all mine all mine,
the mus on the tyne is all mine.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 15:05, Reply)
it's that whispy growth teenage boys get on their top lip
where you can't tell if it's hair or dirt.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:58, Reply)
Take me mussing naked in the taine

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:07, Reply)
something you can cut into three bits

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:44, Reply)
THIS IS MY LAST RE-SORT

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:08, Reply)
Oh thank god

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:46, Reply)
correct

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:18, Reply)

none of busines
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:22, Reply)
Embrace'szzz

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:29, Reply)
yeah, it's ok thanks

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:14, Reply)
gud lol

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:17, Reply)

imgur.com/a/BGBXF
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:17, Reply)
righto

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:19, Reply)
cutting my dick off

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:24, Reply)
yeh

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:26, Reply)
it's amazing how pixels have no intrinsic value whatsoever
yet some people are absolutely brilliant at wasting them.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:00, Reply)
mine just improved, my parcel from Seth Bender has turned up from NYC
youtu.be/TAq5BrYIcms

Featuring a young Jimi Hendrix on guitar, fact fans
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:48, Reply)
lol bender

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:48, Reply)
Oh!

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:49, Reply)
give it a listen m8, it's a quality tune

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:58, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:57, Reply)
there never really was an old Jimi Hendrix though, tbf

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:01, Reply)
:*(

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:57, Reply)
I keep nodding off at my desk

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:18, Reply)
get on the shoe m8

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:19, Reply)
Strikethrough wanking

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:27, Reply)

dd sh
+people
at under
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:01, Reply)
you'd think he would have the courtesy to go to the noshee's desk

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:09, Reply)
He's got a copy of Women's Realm and some fruit mento's down there
he's not going out in a hurry.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:18, Reply)
once he's got his knee pillow fluffed and his spit cup ready
it's too much of a chore to load up and relocate to the next person's desk. Might as well declare a hot-seat, like a dentist's chair.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:21, Reply)
i suppose if everyone's aware of the arrangement.
i was operating under the assumption that it was some sort of covert thing
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:21, Reply)
elephant in the room, I expect

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:28, Reply)
you mean someone did that trick where you pull your pockets inside out?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:46, Reply)
that's probably how it all started, yeah
and then tangles was all in there like an all you can eat buffet.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:50, Reply)
Dennis's dog laughing

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:05, Reply)
i was in the dennis the menace fan club
to check if someone else was a member (lol) you were supposed to say d.i.n.g (stands for 'dennis is never good) and then they would reply with the super-covert d.o.n.g (lol) ('dennis owns naughty gnasher')
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:45, Reply)
I've still got my fan club badges

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:46, Reply)
^^hehe stupid hat

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:46, Reply)
I was, too.
And the Desperate Dan equivalent. I just liked collecting the badges.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:47, Reply)
I found my No.73 badge when we moved house
Not too many of those about, I bet
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:53, Reply)
Filmed around the corner from where I grew up, fact fans.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 15:04, Reply)
Is that right?
Well there you go
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 15:08, Reply)
I never even realised until after I'd moved away.
I think Neil Buchannan did his outdoor art attacks on our school field, too.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 15:14, Reply)

art sex
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 15:31, Reply)
I think that's libellous.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 15:44, Reply)

libellous definitely true that Neil Buchanan is a depraved sex attacker. I, monster munch off the internet, would like to state this as 100% fact.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 16:23, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:00, Reply)
what's that, some sort of old person thing?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:19, Reply)
Farting along

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:21, Reply)
mediocre, thanks!

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:24, Reply)
fennel

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:24, Reply)
same

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:26, Reply)

Barry B f
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:31, Reply)
oh

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:57, Reply)
Chilling, might get going at 1

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:32, Reply)
get to it son

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:58, Reply)
Somewhere between Mr Bean and Reggie Perrin, so far.
My protein milkshake blew up all over the kitchen this morning so I had to get a sandwich at the station, and I got to listen to my boss harp and complain again, which she does so enjoy doing.

What's so arseholious about your day then, Richard?
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:33, Reply)
I bet it did, you dirty old bollocks

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:35, Reply)
I could teach you, but I'd have to charge.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:36, Reply)

teach blow up all over
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:40, Reply)
I'm pretty sure that's billable too.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:47, Reply)
work shit, ex shit, Brexshit
u no lol
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:46, Reply)
ye same shite, ye diff'rent daye.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:48, Reply)
quite so

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:51, Reply)
Muff guffin' across the universe
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk
Muff guffin' across the universe
Only going forward 'cause we can't find reverse
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:35, Reply)
I agree

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:51, Reply)
Mellow
Done fuck all but smoke all weekend
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:46, Reply)
Just had the all clear from my boss to go and meet up with my wife's family in Portugal in August
Now for the fun bit: getting the all clear to take my kid

:(
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:49, Reply)
Bloody hell
Good luck with that
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:55, Reply)
God speed...
and don't have Tapas.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:00, Reply)
Maybe your boss should meet with them first?
Cut your losses with the current kid and just father a replacement.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:43, Reply)
August in Portugal?
I would simply melt, dear chap.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:56, Reply)
I went to Seville in February and nearly died of heatstroke
fuck knows that proper summer would be like
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:07, Reply)
Don't think you'll have an issue with the ex
No kids have ever gone missing in Portugal.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:11, Reply)
I reckon you've got this covered.
Source: have been to Portugal with my ex and it went fine.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:15, Reply)
I highly doubt the ex is going too...

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:30, Reply)
yeah you got that right jase fuckin hell

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:58, Reply)
Wouldn't it be funny if it turned out we'd been out with the same person?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 15:02, Reply)
mildly

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 15:33, Reply)
I got kfc

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:55, Reply)
So you're the fat knacker who's eaten all their chicken.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:57, Reply)
smugglin' chickins m7+1

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:03, Reply)
the last time I had it will remain the last time I had it, permanently I suspect
it was like downing a glassful of oil
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:59, Reply)
I feel that way almost immediately after eating it
and a year later I get a craving all over again.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:02, Reply)
Gil Scott Heron was not actually a heron.
He was actually an egret.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:59, Reply)
egrets... He'd had a few.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:01, Reply)
Too few to mention?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:06, Reply)
his volume was probably more than a quarter of a pint too

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:05, Reply)
And Jonathan Livingston Seagull was actually an albino pigeon with an attitude.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:13, Reply)
I hate myself so much right now

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:14, Reply)
now you understand how the rest of us feel

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:19, Reply)
rude

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:31, Reply)
S

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:13, Reply)
H

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:13, Reply)
I

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:13, Reply)
T

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:14, Reply)
!

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:15, Reply)
I'm not sure it counts if you reply to yourself m2+2+3+0.5+0.5.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:17, Reply)
I done a total fuckup and I am going to take a roasting
sent something out with the wrong date and a senior colleague got loads of perplexed people hassling her. I've corrected it since but she's still going to tear me a new arsehole.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:17, Reply)
it's a blessing in disguise
your old arsehole must be in tatters by now
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:22, Reply)
You'd be surprised.
There's less mileage on the clock than the exterior would lead you to believe.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:27, Reply)
I heard that when you sneeze it all puffs out like a windsock

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:28, Reply)
Is that bad?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:30, Reply)
it is for passing aircraft

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:43, Reply)
That's not likely to happen
I've never eaten an aeroplane. Mind you, I have gobbled a chopper or two in my time... BOOM!
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:45, Reply)
Elefun

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:04, Reply)

l
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:00, Reply)
Good. You fucking idiot

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:25, Reply)
This is fair

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:27, Reply)
Was reading an article on the Independent and found this gem of a comment
"Yeah, when I decided to buy a new used car for myself I also chose from this list, and my choice fell on used Honda Pilot 2008. So I went to a dealer, made a test-drive and it seemed that everything is okay, but then I remembered that I forgot to check VIN number of the car! So I immediately did it and got FAXVIN reports that showed me that this car was in really awful condition because of previous driver who had many car accidents!"
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:29, Reply)
I usually just stick my penis in the exhaust

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:31, Reply)

penis willy
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:35, Reply)
A day too late I discover this
www.marksandspencer.com/brilliant-burger-cake/p/p60164898?extid=SM_FB_O_NOW_Food_BurgerCake&mcptredirect
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:38, Reply)
I'm buying it

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:43, Reply)
too late, I bought it already

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:44, Reply)
for Erev Purim I hope

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:48, Reply)
of course
Hamburgers always cause problems. Some people worry about the 'ham', others are concerned about the connection with germany. You can't win with this crowd, I tell you.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:55, Reply)

he'
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:14, Reply)
With lettuce or without?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:56, Reply)
with never without you

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:02, Reply)
work

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:04, Reply)
needs more "to the" in the icing.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 13:44, Reply)
I had a cake very similar to that for my birthday one year.
Trufax. It was a sponge cake so sugary that it made my fingers shake, which is brilliant when you're a kid and can go bouncing off walls with relative impunity.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:07, Reply)
there's always next year

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:09, Reply)
You reckon he's got many left?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:25, Reply)
seems in decent enough nick

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:26, Reply)

in decent enough nick pickled
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:30, Reply)
Probably the one on Sheppey.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 14:49, Reply)
fine, thanks for asking
i don't really have anything to say i just don't want to waste these candles
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 15:07, Reply)
happy candles, you bin-obsessed nutcase

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 15:34, Reply)
happy candles, you sore knobbed masturbator

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 15:37, Reply)
happy candles, you fussy melon farmer

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 15:52, Reply)
happy candles, fuck off brb. x

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:05, Reply)

having a fuckin arsehole of a d
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:01, Reply)
lol gay

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:11, Reply)
^ a true master of the craft

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 17:13, Reply)
Bought some Ikea wardrobes, but we have the wrong hinges for the doors
"They sent the wrong ones!", I was told. Seeing as how you have to order the individual parts yourself, I think it's more likely that the wrong ones were selected. Did I say this? What's the fucking point.

When was the last time you were about to say something, then thought 'what's the fucking point?' ?
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:15, Reply)
sometime in 2001

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:17, Reply)
pre-911?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:27, Reply)
defo

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:28, Reply)

ef ild

lol
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:52, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:01, Reply)
last time you started a thread

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:17, Reply)
I'm not built for teaching, when the apprentice is being a fat handed baboon I just tell him to stop and do it myself.
I just can't seem to get him to learn.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:18, Reply)
some people learn with warmth, support and the gentle touch
other people learn by being cracked across the knuckles every time they get it wrong.

It's not about you as a teacher, it's about the learning style of the student.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:21, Reply)
I just can't be arsed

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:22, Reply)
Next time he fucks up, just look at him
then look at the work, then look at him, then at the work, and say "what the fuck is that?"

He'll get the hint.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:23, Reply)
I'm not a good teacher either
I'm a "I can do it, so I don't understand why YOU can't" type person
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:24, Reply)
That's me. We're like twins.
You're definitely De Vito
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:28, Reply)
you two should fuck

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:29, Reply)
film it though

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:29, Reply)
He's taller than me though
It would look silly
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:29, Reply)
just do it

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:34, Reply)
Have you ever tried to teach someone to play the guitar?
And my follow up question; Did it end with one of you shouting at the other?
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:29, Reply)
Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:38, Reply)
Wild card, bitches!!!

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:38, Reply)
this is why my son can't play the guitar

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:48, Reply)
I've struggled to explain proper fingering to my youngest.
Haha, that sounds a bit rude!
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:00, Reply)
made me lol

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:35, Reply)
'member when we tried to play snipperclips at mine
my complete and utter failure to explain how to play it in a way that made sense to you nearly gave me an existential crisis
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:45, Reply)
Is he the Charlie of the forum?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:49, Reply)
quite possibly
or the cricket
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:57, Reply)
HEY

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:10, Reply)
+guys, mind if I do some PCP in the bathroom?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:22, Reply)
haha
To be fair, I'd been drinking for most of the day, and someone offered me a marijuana cigarette. The fault mostly lies with me.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:10, Reply)
Also, those switch controllers are fucken tiny

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:12, Reply)
as if. AS IF you don't have enough experience manipulating a tiny joystick

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:21, Reply)
I should've expected that

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:32, Reply)
hey you guys sound as though you really know how to party

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:18, Reply)
angling for an invite, eh?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:22, Reply)
are you trying to say I'm not cool enough for one of your drugs parties?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:33, Reply)
we fucken tear it up, m8

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:33, Reply)
As in, we sit down and cry a lot

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:35, Reply)
when you remember zion?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:41, Reply)
good point
woah, italicised drugs. those are the most potent kind
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:20, Reply)
She was living in a single room with three other individuals
One of them was a male, and the other two
Well, the other two were females
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:30, Reply)
Ooh good one lemme think

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:18, Reply)
Doesn't really matter at what stage the error was made,
unless you're admitting to ordering the wrong parts.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:18, Reply)
well quite

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:23, Reply)
You ordered the wrong parts, didn't you?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:32, Reply)
I'll order YOU the wrong parts in a minute, sunshine

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:37, Reply)
^ flying off the hinges

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:38, Reply)
i've heard that mm was born with both sets of parts

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:47, Reply)
And I hang about the local IKEA, offering them to strangers.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:50, Reply)
This could probably apply to most things I was about to say during the final year with my ex.
Should I say this? She's not going to listen to me anyway, so let's not bother.

Loike me Murphy's, oi'm not bitter, etc.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:21, Reply)
some exes made my blood boil in my veins, but I can look back at them woth fondness nowadays
Others still make me want to reach for an icepick and go on a killing spree
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:22, Reply)
Woth new puthycat
Wooooaaaoooaaaooooh
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:25, Reply)
I'm about halfway between fondness and icepick where she's concerned.
She's not a fundamentally bad person but she just couldn't get her head around the fact that you have to make a certain amount of effort to make a relationship work, and she just couldn't be arsed.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:32, Reply)
So, you're high maintenance?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:34, Reply)
Ehh, I don't think so.
Even a little tiny bit of maintenance would have been nice though.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:37, Reply)
Want me to check your dipstick?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:39, Reply)
Cor.
Make sure that bad boy's nice and greasy.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:40, Reply)
Looks like a hard job.
Hope I get a raise.
&c...
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:43, Reply)
Hatchback Mountain
*twangy guitar music*
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:46, Reply)
More like a small hillock.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:54, Reply)

www.diseno-art.com/products/tools/grease_gun.html
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:44, Reply)
I have seen something not dissimilar on a website that I'm not going to visit at work.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:47, Reply)
This is why you should always aim to know at least three of your colleagues' passwords

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:48, Reply)
It's a good idea in theory.
Not sure what either of my female colleagues would be doing surfing a hardcore gay fetish accessories website though.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:52, Reply)
Next year's secret santa?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 16:01, Reply)
"I want a small light laptop that lasts 12 hours at least and be under £500"
Don't we all love, tell me when they exist.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:24, Reply)
Leave it plugged in, it'll last all day.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:27, Reply)
I'll glue it to a desk, no point in her carrying it about

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:35, Reply)
11:33 CET

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:33, Reply)
GMT or GTFO

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:38, Reply)
give me tits

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:46, Reply)
I think we both know you wouldn't know what to do with them

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:58, Reply)

pretty nsfw gif here, lads
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:33, Reply)
heavens to murgatroyd

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:34, Reply)
Bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy...

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:39, Reply)
That would be very painful

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 12:53, Reply)


(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:33, Reply)
^

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:37, Reply)
there is always a point to everything I say and everyone should pay attention then they might learn something

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:46, Reply)
tl;dr

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:51, Reply)
Booking.com just emailed me with the following: Swansea has some last-minute deals!

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:48, Reply)
It is a shithole
Apart from Mumbles, in the right light.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:59, Reply)
i didn't know tangles' mum was from wales

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:15, Reply)
Never mind that. Twitter informs me that Steven Seagal is now the Brand Ambassador for Bitcoin 2.
I might need a lie down.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:02, Reply)
Bitcoin 2?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:07, Reply)
Almost certainly a Russian scam.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:10, Reply)
Bitcoin 2: The Trumps

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:14, Reply)
We can laugh, but this looks like an endorsement we should trust:
bitcoiin2gen.pr.co/163919-zen-master-steven-seagal-has-become-the-brand-ambassador-of-bitcoiin2gen?reheat_cache=1
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:16, Reply)
He really does look like a racist caricature from a kung fu movie.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:18, Reply)
he's a man of diverse character whose spiritual beliefs and humanity are woven into every aspect of his life

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:20, Reply)
I like how, in his later films, anything more complicated than standing around is handled by his stunt double.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:37, Reply)
like 99% of the other altcoins
Litecoins doing well today though
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:18, Reply)
I just had an order from willie cumming

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:07, Reply)
I bet he is! lol

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:08, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 11:09, Reply)
morning™

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 7:41, Reply)
Boo

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 7:43, Reply)
like Spoopy ghost boo
Or the brat from Monsters Inc.?
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 7:44, Reply)
Who are you? Plod?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 7:55, Reply)
Behold, Son Of Plod
and Step-Son Of CSI.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 7:58, Reply)
Proper morning

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 7:44, Reply)
get in there my son

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 7:44, Reply)
You sure?
It looks very cramped. And dirty.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 7:48, Reply)
what are you, a tart? stop whinging

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 7:58, Reply)
We'd Rather Have A Bowl Of Morning Thread

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 7:55, Reply)
loaded with gluten, MSG, trans-fat, refined sugar and peanuts

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 7:56, Reply)
I don't like my fats to be gender fluid.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:54, Reply)
czesc
aka good morning, sir
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:11, Reply)
witam, towarzyszu
jak sie masz?
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:15, Reply)
s'all alright

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:55, Reply)
"a u Ciebie?"
I'm fine, thanks for asking
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 9:11, Reply)
I will remember that sentence, thanks

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 9:37, Reply)
Get up, get on up.
I've already wished my boss a good morning so do I owe you royalties now or something?
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:15, Reply)
nah, good morning is public domain

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:23, Reply)
Phew, that's a relief.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:29, Reply)
like the recent court ruling on "haters gonna hate"
the judge called "good morning" asinine and without merit.
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 9:15, Reply)
fuck me in the ass

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:26, Reply)
I'm going in dry

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:30, Reply)
spose

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:27, Reply)
+trike a
+, that's it, work the camera baby, phwoar
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:30, Reply)

that's it, work the camera baby, phwoar look around, everywhere you turn is heartache
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:50, Reply)
don't preach m8

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 9:03, Reply)
Sca™ An

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:48, Reply)
skibby dibby dibby dub dee dub dub

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:50, Reply)
Urggg

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:52, Reply)
^ trendy boots for the hungover

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:54, Reply)
get back on it, it's the only way

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:58, Reply)
you can't trademark a greeting
I'll see you in court
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 8:58, Reply)
are you buying a new sofa?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 9:00, Reply)
Morning

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 9:08, Reply)
is that capital M copyrighted?

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 9:09, Reply)
m0rning

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 9:20, Reply)
l33t

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 9:24, Reply)
tesco-value greeting

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 9:26, Reply)
alright ®

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 9:35, Reply)
that would be the best marketing slogan to trademark

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 9:37, Reply)
Cheers©

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 9:39, Reply)
*sues

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:10, Reply)
*mels*

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:11, Reply)

l m
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:11, Reply)
*kims*

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:12, Reply)
*smiths*

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:16, Reply)
+s +l

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:17, Reply)

media.giphy.com/media/cXrUCAiujGYyQ/giphy.gif
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 10:12, Reply)
morning
technically
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 1:53, Reply)
fuck me, look, candles

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 1:54, Reply)
morning, captain candle
I'm cunted on a Monday night, lovely
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 1:56, Reply)
shovel it

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 1:58, Reply)
Not morning here, it's evening , fuck you.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 3:04, Reply)
Bit early.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 6:52, Reply)
it is a bit
should I start a new one?
(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 7:26, Reply)
Better had.

(, Tue 20 Feb 2018, 7:39, Reply)
Laters

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 17:27, Reply)
it is, isn't it?

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 17:34, Reply)

checkmate atheists
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 17:41, Reply)
well played

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 17:44, Reply)

played bent
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 18:05, Reply)
c ya

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 17:45, Reply)
+hlam +di

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 18:29, Reply)
When?

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 18:56, Reply)
Taters

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 20:47, Reply)
He left 5eva cos of horrid /talk bullies

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 20:52, Reply)
One of many to have sounded the great abloobloo of surrender.

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 20:56, Reply)
No doubt he's busy on some other site, perhaps one that's more receptive to scantily-clad, 3d rendered children

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 22:12, Reply)
tits

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 21:42, Reply)
link doesn't work :(

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 22:38, Reply)
You may think that sending thoughts and prayers is pointless, but I'll bet you've never had yours hand delivered to a grinning president in a ziplock bag.
scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/28058358_2012767862084394_1201728316231740706_n.jpg?oh=7815e6d720ee801a5253339527df9680&oe=5B1C5E5E
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 21:50, Reply)
I watched that for several minutes and there was no kaboom
I am disappoint
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 21:56, Reply)
Have you ever made or worn a costume? What was it? why?

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:41, Reply)
Yes
Gangster
Cos I is proper gangster innit
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:45, Reply)
that was the one day you took off your costume
and showed the world the real you
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:47, Reply)
I did have my willy out, yes

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:49, Reply)
I won 2nd place at primary school as nanook of the north , probably considered racist now

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:46, Reply)
sounds like a cheap Mork and Mindy ripoff tbh

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:47, Reply)
nanook of the north is considered to be the first full documentary film

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:51, Reply)
It's a great film

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:56, Reply)
Inspiration for Nooka in Noggin the Nog

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:58, Reply)
collect £10

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:36, Reply)
Plenty of times m8.
Mostly for musical performances, including being tailored for a cod-Eastern outfit as part of an opera course where we put on a fully-staged version of the second act of Turandot in a week.

I've also got myself up in a miniskirt, fishnet tights and a pink feather boa as part of the Dunkirk Carnaval. That was a larf.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:48, Reply)
lexi belle

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:48, Reply)
Why am I wearing this stupid man suit?

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:50, Reply)
because it fits you perfectly

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:04, Reply)
Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all!

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:11, Reply)
stupid sexy monster munch

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:54, Reply)
How do you identify?

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:01, Reply)
Name, rank and serial number.

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:14, Reply)
because you ate Edgar

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:36, Reply)
Corpse paint and leather.

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:18, Reply)
Which one was Kurt Russell?

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:18, Reply)
+ wishin' my gal was by my siiiiiide

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:33, Reply)
and whiskers on kittens

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 17:01, Reply)
Captain Caveman
when I was 7
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:26, Reply)
The office has just decided it wants music
so we've got radio 2 coming out someone's laptop. I've had to put headphone on to get away from that scratchy shite. It's been 2 years and there's been none of this nonsense... Why now?
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:34, Reply)
Radio 2 was the bane of my entire childhood.
Put on Fergie's rendition of The Star-Spangled Banner and assert dominance.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:41, Reply)
I'm listening to Genesis on my massive headphones
with the fluffy earpads. This is dadrock time!
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:46, Reply)
Noice.
My osteophonic cans have started to act up - all of a sudden and for no discernible reason, they'll suddenly switch to mono so I get no output from the right-hand pad. Something must have come loose inside somewhere.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:53, Reply)
I didn't even know that such things existed
they look awesome. However, most of the time I wear headphones to isolate me from the rest of the world so probably a bit of an expensive novelty for me.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:08, Reply)
They are the badger's nadgers.
At work I can't really afford not to hear if someone asks me a question but it's also great to be able to concentrate on something other than people bickering and waffling on about children, which is why I got them.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:57, Reply)
Yeah I made my kid a Cat in the Hat costume a couple of years ago, for World Book Day
I customised a hat which I borrowed from Winchester College drama wardrobe - they also had a clip on cat's tail and some white dress gloves which helped pull it all together. I was told it was shit by my kid's mum.

Another time I once again borrowed stuff from the drama wardrobe to do a Little Red Riding Hood outfit, including a gingham dress and a genuine Victorian shawl. Apparently it ‘smelled’ and was informed that once again I was a terrible father. I decided I'd never bother with the effort again.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:38, Reply)
lol shit dad
I bet your kid hates it when you do stuff for her
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:44, Reply)
Deffo
I'm told my problem is that I always put my social life first. A particularly bad example was last year, when I had the temerity to go on TWO honeymoons.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:58, Reply)
Honeymeen, m8

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:01, Reply)
quite so

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:02, Reply)
Honeymi, m8

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:02, Reply)
indeed

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:03, Reply)
Honeymonodes, m8

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:19, Reply)

m8 do doooooo de doo doo
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:57, Reply)
Two and a half Honeymen

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:21, Reply)
So you can find a hat, when you want to.
You're just not trying hard enough.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:16, Reply)
Wow your kid is harsh, I wouldn't bother for her either, .....

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:52, Reply)
heh

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 17:26, Reply)
I used to dress as superman quite a bit

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:41, Reply)
Alright, Brandon Routh

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:47, Reply)
Christopher Reeve m8

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:14, Reply)
lol, u r ded

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:19, Reply)
Look at me, now look at your man, now back to me
I'm not on a horse
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:22, Reply)
no one wants to see your pants m8

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:57, Reply)
Loads...
I used to work in a cabaret gay bar in Newcastle. We always had events.
I dressed up as:
Spiderman
Baby Spice
The Easter Bunny
A Schoolboy
An army guy

to name but a few.

Ive also dressed up as a cow, and Kick-Ass for a couple of Birthday nights out
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:57, Reply)
I've done Baby Spice as well

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:03, Reply)
you randy bastard

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:03, Reply)
The best one!

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:14, Reply)
I dressed up as Phil Okey
lipstick and an asymmetrical wig.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:03, Reply)
I've worn a suit a few times in a ridiculous attempt to look professional, didn't fool anyone for a second

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:07, Reply)
I've had orders today from Pete Tong & James Brown, and spoken to Jonathan King, beat that

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:10, Reply)
You working for Yewtree now?

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:11, Reply)
Yup, imma catch me an edmonds

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:18, Reply)
I had one from Janice Long last week

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:20, Reply)
Cor!

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:31, Reply)
usually zombie costumes for halloween parties
i was forced to dress as the queen of spain as a kid. that did not end well.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 16:35, Reply)
re: Yo,

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:29, Reply)
RE: FWD: Re: Fwd: Re: ***Gr0w uR p3n1$***
Please stop sending me these emails Windy, if you need money just ask.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:31, Reply)
There's now watch chat in the moto discord, and from what I've picked up from Mongy these lads are way off.

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:38, Reply)
Tell them they are wrong and cunts

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:43, Reply)
He's on about edifice watches.

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:52, Reply)
Not my thing

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:58, Reply)
He reckons my 20 year old Casio f series is shit.

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:31, Reply)

static.highsnobiety.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Casio_F-91W_terrorist-008-960x640.jpg
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:36, Reply)
For what? If it tells the time it's doing its job, there's no one upmanship owning a casio

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:36, Reply)
I understand some of these words

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:51, Reply)
Wha' g'wan Winders.
I could not be less motivated to be in the office right now. I've got nothing to do and am being paid a nominal amount of money to waste my life. I wonder if my office laptop could handle Steam.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:33, Reply)
I've had a successful and hassle free morning of work.
Maybe you should find some like minded people and have a chat online.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:39, Reply)

like dirty chat wank
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:44, Reply)
What, you mean actually talk to people on the internet?
I'm way too autismy for that.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:50, Reply)
Outside is raining but inside is Intel

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:44, Reply)

t c
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:53, Reply)
I'm getting a load of shit about my kid's World Book Day costume.
She wants to go as The Mad Hatter. The idea is that you knock together a costume from stuff you have at home, but amazingly there's nothing suitable at my house so I've ordered her a costume off the internet. Best I could do but apparently 'shame on you'.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:44, Reply)
you could have at least gone down the charity shop and cobbled together an oddment of clothes
Buying a ready made set online is well outside the spirit of the event.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:53, Reply)
I can't speak for Poland but there's something of a dearth of outsized top hats in London charity shops

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:56, Reply)
Child sized frock coats are somewhat thin on the ground also

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:57, Reply)
I wasn't allowed to play cowboys and indians as a kid
because my parents didn't have an authentic Winchester rifle or enough eagle feathers for a warbonnet
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:17, Reply)
My school banned Doctors and Nurses in the playground because none of us had completed our MDs yet

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:17, Reply)
our school play got sued for false advertising
because Cinderalla's glass slipper was neither glass or a slipper.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:19, Reply)
We had to stop putting on the nativity play at our school
when we were unable to find any newly-born sons of god. A particular disappointment as we'd killed all the first-born babies in the town by that point.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:24, Reply)
The PE teacher checked all of our trousers before we went on stage
and confirmed that no-one in our nativity was actually Jewish
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:27, Reply)
You could have made a hat, dunno why you got involved

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:01, Reply)
yeah, cos a bit of black card rolled up and taped to a brim is impossible to make in a European megacity
you're not even trying m8
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:02, Reply)
I'm quite pleased that our middle school doesn't seem to participate in this tradition,
as I think we'd exhausted the possibilities from our dressing up box.
Nonetheless, shame on you, Richard.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:56, Reply)
Yes shame on me
I could have sent her as The Mad Hatter with no hat, and in a sweatshirt, jeans and Air Jordans, but I'm fairly sure that would have been met with equal derision and I'd have said fair enough if so.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:58, Reply)
You need to get her into some more down to earth literature.
Or do what every other lazy sod seems to do and get her a batman costume from asda.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:36, Reply)
I must admit the use of comic book characters peeves me a bit, odd as I normally couldn't give a bollox

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:51, Reply)
It's a bit lazy, but then a comic book is still a book,
and who really has the time/inclination to put a costume together?

We were lucky enough to receive a few cast offs from a family friend's fancy dress business.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:56, Reply)
It's not a book, and everyone has time to make their kid a costume, ffs

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:59, Reply)
Comic books are the cheeseburger of literature.

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:37, Reply)
If I have a kid
I'll make them go as Meursault from The Stranger
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:59, Reply)
I'd dress mine up as Boy from McCarthy's "The Road"

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:09, Reply)
Sounds like you need to relax.

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:00, Reply)
Holly Pig

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:14, Reply)
you're telling me that you don't have a tatty top hat from your wizard/magic days

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:22, Reply)
Just recycle those itchy black work trousers from your last christening.

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:28, Reply)
Can't you persuade her that her favourite author is Andy McNab?
then you can just put her in a balaclava and give her a big knife.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:31, Reply)
I hope you corrected her on the character's name

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:34, Reply)
And a long lecture on the effects of mercury poisoning in the milliner industry

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:43, Reply)
re: re: Yo,
Yo
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:12, Reply)
Hi

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:23, Reply)
sounds like the gangs of Dublin are kicking off again

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:14, Reply)
I'm more concerned about KFC's chicken shortage

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:21, Reply)
Shit

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:23, Reply)
Just use rats FFS - it'll tast the same

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:28, Reply)
It's disgraceful, fucking German cunts

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:33, Reply)
What we need is for someone to run over a couple of pheasants with their bike and hand them over at the kitchen door until normal supply has been resumed.

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:42, Reply)
Too many grasses
www.kentlive.news/news/uk-world-news/kfc-branch-shut-after-customers-1230346
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:46, Reply)
Bloody nanny state.
I'll make sure I run over only halal pheasants and bung them in the icebox under the seat.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:54, Reply)
It's mental, they've gone next door to morrisons, bought a load of chicken to keep the place open, and some twat ruins it

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:57, Reply)
Probably a mole who works for Macca's or something.

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:02, Reply)
I love the sound of some Medway chav bellowing "SMUGGLING CHICKINS!"
like its some live-action remake of Chicken Run or summink
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:08, Reply)
That's erith , not Medway

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:17, Reply)
fucking borderland cunts

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:23, Reply)
Ha, as if it was ever chicken anyway

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:19, Reply)
Plenty of vegan alternatives available.

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:38, Reply)
A guy at the brunch yesterday said he was going to a vegan raclette last night.
I wasn't even aware that non-dairy cheese melted.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:41, Reply)
Ear wax and hot glue, of course it melts

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 15:20, Reply)
Mmm, southern fried metal claw

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:41, Reply)
"I'll get you next time, Gadget!"

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 14:46, Reply)
Shit on a frisbee, it's 10:46am!
how's your day going?
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:46, Reply)
So far so good.

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:47, Reply)
one of those rare days where I can knuckle down and do some work
without endless interruptions and meetings.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:50, Reply)
Grrr, you know stuff, what does the B in Oral B stand for?

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:07, Reply)
bumole

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:08, Reply)
swole bumhole

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:08, Reply)
too swole

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:08, Reply)
brush I bet

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:08, Reply)
"A company representative has stated that the "B" in Oral-B stands for "brush"."
so sez Wikipaedia.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:09, Reply)
it's not a letter
it's the shape of two perfectly clean front teeth
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:12, Reply)
BOYEEEEEE

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:13, Reply)
Bee

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:17, Reply)
Biltong

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:25, Reply)
Bem

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:49, Reply)
+10: Ultimate Aliem

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:50, Reply)
Blast, side project for bored Anal members

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:54, Reply)
Bez

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:00, Reply)
Birthday

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:09, Reply)
Bellicose rhetoric

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:12, Reply)
Bodacious

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:13, Reply)
Buckminster

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:13, Reply)
Broadsword

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:14, Reply)
Babes IX: The Revenge

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:19, Reply)
Bacchanale

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:22, Reply)
Bukkake

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 13:42, Reply)
flaccid

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:57, Reply)
Monday? Cuntday more like! Amirite?

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:00, Reply)
fucking shitcuntmingeday more like!

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:14, Reply)
You don't like Mondays?
Tell me why.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:16, Reply)
I don't like Mondays

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:16, Reply)
Tell me why.

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:39, Reply)
I don't like Monday-ays

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:45, Reply)
topical!

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:32, Reply)
Not bad liek.
If there were a kee-bab van anywhere near my office, it would be going even better.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:07, Reply)
Hi hun xx
Aye grand...
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:08, Reply)
Here's Tony Hadley in an Italian rap song:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lmVZstFqlU
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:15, Reply)
nice little Fiat 131 at the 20second mark there

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:21, Reply)
wow

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:25, Reply)
Well now

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:49, Reply)
still not all that keen on this whole working for a living thing

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:25, Reply)
yer, really need to knock this on the head

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:26, Reply)
let Huey Lewis and the News explain it to you
www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcIK3akktLU
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:27, Reply)
he's saying what we're all thinking

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:46, Reply)
you're right! It really *is* hip to be square!

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:46, Reply)
meh

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:25, Reply)

h m
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:26, Reply)
What are all these crazy slang words people are using?

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:52, Reply)
I'm considering making myself a cocoon

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:35, Reply)
will you dunk it in a swimming pool to attract steve gutenberg?

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:38, Reply)
No
I'll just stay on the couch
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:39, Reply)
Alright, Jessica Tandy

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:38, Reply)
you're not Bobby!

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:43, Reply)
Quality film, that.
Or I think it was. Probably turn out to be plodding rubbish if I gave it a rewatch.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:49, Reply)
probably nowhere near as much flying robot alien screentime as you or I remember

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:54, Reply)
bit raracist

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:45, Reply)
lover of the russian quist

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:45, Reply)
You should knit yourself one.
That would be ace.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 12:09, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 7:41, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 7:55, Reply)
what ho Ricky Mc-B

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 7:58, Reply)

🎂
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:00, Reply)
I can't be doing with all this emoticon bollocks

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:15, Reply)
doesn't look much like bollocks to me...

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:46, Reply)
hp bd mgychps

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:19, Reply)
I've just gobbled down a pair of plums
MORNING!

(please feel free to enjoy a double-entente on me)
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:06, Reply)
don't come to class if you're not prepared to give everyone else one

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:16, Reply)
There's more in the bowl...

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:49, Reply)
Reminds me of that ad for a hair trimmer
with one regular kiwi next to a shaved one.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:19, Reply)
Yes, that was well done

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:28, Reply)
Morning

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:11, Reply)
alright windo, how's the bike/wife/job/etc

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:16, Reply)
No complaints here at the minute.
All though I did nearly die yesterday.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:34, Reply)
what fuckery did you get up to this time?

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:35, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8152247
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:44, Reply)
I was pinning it up the slip road back on the a40 to go home and a pheasant appeared from the hedge.
I went to swerve around him and he went the same way as me and so I changed swerve and he changed and I thought this is it I'm going to die and then luckily he got out the way.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:45, Reply)
pheasants are basically semi-sentient pillows
just twat it next time
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:48, Reply)
It would unbalance me a bit.

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:50, Reply)
you're stronger than this
dig deep
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:51, Reply)
Next time I'll just boot the pheasant in to oncoming traffic

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:59, Reply)
Take a net with you the next time you go out for a burn-up.
Pheasant makes some good eating.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:06, Reply)
I see the germs of a very good computer game
Windy-vs-pheasants

Bonus points if you can get a colleague fired AND deal drugs at the same time.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:29, Reply)
There should be an unlockable 'Danny, the Champion of the World' level
where the pheasants come pre-stuffed with massive drugs.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:33, Reply)
Windy Pig,
yesterday.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:44, Reply)
Were you hooning it or was this a gentle blast?
(glad you're not dead btw)
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:49, Reply)
I got 80 halfway up the slip road

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:49, Reply)
you nearly T. E. Lawrence'd it
nice
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:33, Reply)
T.E. died avoiding two kids who were in the road
dying avoiding a game bird would be a bit less heroic, especially when the pheasant got filled with lead by an IT executive on a corporate jolly
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:38, Reply)
Memning.
Woke up late this morning with a hangover like unto the wrath of Cthulhu and didn't have time for breakfast. My kingdom for a sausage and egg butty.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:17, Reply)
I made the mistake of opening a bottle of vodka last night

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:20, Reply)
Seems like everyone was caning it last night.
My regular offie was closed so I went to another one just round the corner, which had a few 14% beers in stock. 14% beers and no dinner make an evil combination. Anyway, I blame Mongy for having a birthday yesterday.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:31, Reply)
it's always mongy's fault
birthday or not
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:32, Reply)
I was asleep by 8 last night
Went to an American place for lunch that did unlimited bbq plus a bottle of wine per person as a fixed price deal. Rolled out of there absolutely spannered at about 6pm
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:01, Reply)
Sounds like fun

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:26, Reply)
It was an absolute classic of a weekend

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:38, Reply)
Where?!

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:40, Reply)
Big Easy, Canary Wharf
£29.50 a head for all you can eat bbq and a bottle of wine each. We had a decent Sicilian red and perfectly acceptable Puglian white.

Not exactly 'authentic' but then we're in England - a nice place to while away a boozy Sunday afternoon and the grub was very well cooked.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:59, Reply)
How many other guests' bottles of wine did you purloin?

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:42, Reply)
I'm not a petty thief, thank you very much

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:00, Reply)
I'm just well jel of your barbecue experience.
I've never been to a place that offers multiple styles of barbecue under one roof.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:14, Reply)
I'll be back there again very soon

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:48, Reply)
Hi there

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:46, Reply)
there is no level of tedium that could ever be relieved by your presence

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 8:48, Reply)
A fox shat in one of my frisbees at the weekend
naturally this made me think of you
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:00, Reply)
that was me m8

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:10, Reply)
^ foxy beefy

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:36, Reply)
Oi oi

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:00, Reply)
happy birthday on this the 19th of February which is your birthday

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:06, Reply)
Thx on the 19th

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:23, Reply)
BWAAAAUUUUUM

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:24, Reply)
many happy returns

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:08, Reply)
Thx

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:22, Reply)
saveloy

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:31, Reply)
sweetest m

♪ღ♪*•.¸¸¸.•*¨¨*•.¸¸¸.•*•♪ღ♪¸.•*¨¨*•.¸¸¸.•*•♪ღ♪•*
      ♪ღ♪░H░A░P░P░Y░ B░I░R░T░H░D░A░Y░░♪ღ♪
*•♪ღ♪*•.¸¸¸.•*¨¨*•.¸¸¸.•*•♪¸.•*¨¨*•.¸¸¸.•*•♪ღ♪•«

always, b xx
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:44, Reply)
Dearest b,thx

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:09, Reply)
Birthday big one

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:14, Reply)
Just getting ready to go out, local opens at 11

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:28, Reply)
let's do this

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:02, Reply)
*80s synth beat*

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:32, Reply)
My daughter wants me to quit work so that I can homeschool her.
It's a shame that "being able to afford to live" and "not wrecking her future" are such compelling counter arguements.

Morning.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:20, Reply)
is she being bullied?

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:33, Reply)
'your dad's monster munch, your dad's monster munch'
More than plausible, I'd say
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:40, Reply)
Local kids are in awe of my model painting skills, knowledge of collectible card games, and awesome mustache.
Christ, I feel sorry for my kids.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:38, Reply)
so do I

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 11:26, Reply)
No, it's just a shit school.
I'm hoping this might motivate her to consider changing to one of the secondary schools after next year.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:37, Reply)
Mine had to start at their new school today
the youngest was really nervous
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:02, Reply)
have they transferred because of your house move?

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:17, Reply)
Yeah
Keeping them at their old school just wasn't practical
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:24, Reply)
awww, I remember going through that
we relocated every couple of years until I was about 8, I was the new boy so many times. It stands you in good stead when you go to secondary school though, as you've been through it before.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:17, Reply)
That's a good point, I hadn't thought about that
I'm sure they'll be ok, just first day jitters.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:25, Reply)
<j> sh

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:42, Reply)
Must be a bit nerve wracking, changing schools part way through the year,
but I'm sure it builds character.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:41, Reply)
nah, think of all that homework they didn't have to do
because they're never going back to that school.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:43, Reply)
Relocating every six weeks seems drastic,
but homework really is awful.
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:45, Reply)
hi

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:26, Reply)
this place is richer for your presence

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:33, Reply)
Morning Grry

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:27, Reply)
alright smamo

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:33, Reply)
How low can you go?

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:45, Reply)
I put the "oooooooooh! in "limbo" m8

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:47, Reply)
+p
lol
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:50, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:05, Reply)
eurgh, what a stinker!

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:17, Reply)
hullo
and happy birthday mongy
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 9:59, Reply)
alright TH

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:20, Reply)
Yo

(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:28, Reply)
mem'ries
all alone in the mem'light
(, Mon 19 Feb 2018, 10:57, Reply)
Who is on it for Mongys birthday?
I'm settling down for a smash up.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 18:50, Reply)
I'm fucking ruined mate, quiz at 9, oi oi

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 18:54, Reply)
Bit of shoe will help you concentrate and get a birthday win

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:20, Reply)
On it

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:34, Reply)
I've just got on it and am about to get further on it, so yeah.
*raises glass to Mongy*
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 18:59, Reply)
My mother fucking special day innit

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:02, Reply)
You're goddamned right.

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:03, Reply)
Jesus gets loads, I only get one

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:10, Reply)
Yesyes

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:20, Reply)
I wish

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:07, Reply)
Get some fucking kush or a bit of hash at least. Come on, it's once a year.

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:20, Reply)
Oh, alright

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:24, Reply)
huffing glue

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:24, Reply)
Where is TH with the Jenkem?

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 20:06, Reply)
he packed up the lab when he moved

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 20:21, Reply)
I'm thinking of expanding into krokodil

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 20:58, Reply)
i'll be putting my bins out
recycling too
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 20:06, Reply)
off the hook

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 20:42, Reply)
Thanks for the reminder
Thanks for the r m
inder
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 22:53, Reply)
mem
to mongy
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 20:35, Reply)
wine, pizza and cannabutter here
although this may have happened with or without mongy's birthday
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 20:41, Reply)
Beer, falafel and shawarma here.
About to hit the wine though
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 21:06, Reply)
Foooo9ooooooooooooooooooooooooooood , I think

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 21:25, Reply)
I always consume my drugs as foood these days

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 22:28, Reply)
DMT or GTFO.

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 21:47, Reply)
Actually I'll take some 5-MeO-GTFO for preference, if you have any.

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 21:48, Reply)
Wow. 15 hours?
What are you all doing today that's keeping you away from here?
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 11:43, Reply)
Smashing the tits off it
Just got up, gonna go for a burger and a few pints in a bit. Took kiddo to a talk by her favourite author yesterday so it's not been 100% sin.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 12:51, Reply)
Apart from a bit of weed I've been sin free all weekend
Boring as fuck.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 13:08, Reply)
*calls the fuzz*

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 13:15, Reply)
muffled conversation?

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 14:39, Reply)
Just come back from brunch innit.

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 13:43, Reply)
never been keen on the idea of brunch
no idea why
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 14:19, Reply)
Brain + munch -> brunch
Perhaps yours will catch on.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 14:37, Reply)
don't know
but it is time to munch
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 14:40, Reply)
You might like this
www.goldenageofscifi.info/ebook/Who_Goes_There.pdf
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 15:08, Reply)
oooo, i'll have a look at that later, ta!

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 15:17, Reply)
Quite a few differences from the film but the telepathy thing is a decent explanation for how it can imitate a human's behaviour so convincingly

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 15:31, Reply)
yes, that's something they never really investigated in the film

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 15:39, Reply)
in that vein, Jaws is a good read, although slightly depressing

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 15:45, Reply)
And now
for someTHING completely different.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 16:19, Reply)
*interludes*

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 16:28, Reply)
Birthday eve innit

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 15:54, Reply)
mine's not till october :(
make sure you get utterly shitfaced. anything less is birthdaying wrong.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 16:04, Reply)
Been on it since Friday,

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:03, Reply)
good lad

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:07, Reply)
I just added a sub woofer to the telly bar wotsit!
I have some powered studio monitors that have been gathering dust, the sound-bar for the tv is excellent but a bit bass light. I bought a low-pass filter months ago and have only just gotten around to connecting a 12v supply and some wires to it and BLOW ME IF IT DOESN'T HALF WORK WELL!

There's some tasty low-end now that was really lacking before. That is a total result and although all I've done is strip some wires and connect them I feel a significant sense of achievement.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:02, Reply)
it's always nice when something unexpectedly goes well
the lady who lives above me seems to love bass as her telly has my ceiling vibrating most days
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:07, Reply)
Knock on the door holding a large bag of doritos and say
"I can hear the soundtrack so well seems a shame not to be watching it too..." and barge in.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:16, Reply)
i can't be mean, she's about 80 and puts up with me playing heavy metal on a sunday morning
i just wish she had fewer daughters with tiny, yappy dogs and annoying grandchildren
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:22, Reply)
Oh, well, if it's quid-pro-quo then you can't be to arsy
I had a neighbour who would bang on the door if I played loud music on a Saturday afternoon. Not that loud either. And above his kitchen, not his living room. He was on the spectrum, though.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 18:34, Reply)
sulking and making this
www.dropbox.com/s/kr6oi5lj68neea2/brb_-_toxic_identity.mp3?raw=1
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:33, Reply)
nice!
mate of mine used to do something similar, until he got bogged down by kids and suchlike
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:46, Reply)
chars brar

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:51, Reply)
SQEEELCHH! Yummy noises

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:57, Reply)
That's tasty, that is.

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 18:57, Reply)
Going to rinse the henna out of my hair now.

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:48, Reply)
Bit drippy

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 18:34, Reply)
More like hardened mud-cake that melts and runs into your eyes on the way down.
I now look like I've been blayzing superskunk all afternoon but my hair is luverly.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 18:42, Reply)
How much hair do you have?

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 22:18, Reply)
Halfway through the weekend
what have you done so far?
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 20:45, Reply)
I've got a bit stoned and made chocolate icing
I am now eating it.
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 20:55, Reply)
Sounds great

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:20, Reply)
Just logged on to see if everyone is ok after the earthquake

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:08, Reply)
I'm doing alright
My neighbor had to take my amazon parcels in after it presumably prevented the delivery driver from knocking on my door though.
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:21, Reply)
Breakfast. Dog walk. Horse care. Motorbike ride. Smash up.

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:10, Reply)
Everybody talk about, pop music

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 1:16, Reply)
500 piece Jigsaw

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:20, Reply)
what of?

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:22, Reply)

s4.b3ta.com/host/creative/23553/1426182712/5566593914112252665902.jpg
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:28, Reply)
so do you do the edges, or work your way outwards from the bumhole?

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:33, Reply)
I start where ever the fuck I want

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:36, Reply)
I'm not as jigsaw advanced as you

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:40, Reply)
I'm semi pro

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 23:37, Reply)
Dishes, laundry, hoovering, shopping, barbecue, workout, yer maw.

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:38, Reply)
My da more like.

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:46, Reply)
Aye him an aw.

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 22:24, Reply)
My da will fuck yer da

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 22:51, Reply)
Git tae fuck ye radge cunt.
My da rode yer da intae battle an yer da fuckin loved it.
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 22:57, Reply)
Thought and prayed a bit

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 0:22, Reply)
Been for a long walk and ended up in Zerodegrees in Blackheath
microbrewery - they do some very tasty beers!
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 11:42, Reply)
Who are all these cunts

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 16:38, Reply)
mem

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 16:50, Reply)
Soros

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 16:56, Reply)
That was me m8

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 17:09, Reply)
Bit early for a Tory party conference innit?

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 17:15, Reply)
half term, innit?

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 17:23, Reply)
Dunno, but they've stolen your punctuation.

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 17:30, Reply)
Gawd I'm bolloxed, it's only half six , too old for this shit

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 18:26, Reply)
Just getting started here

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 18:37, Reply)
God speed, it's my birthday Weekender

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:04, Reply)
Glad to be on board

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:20, Reply)
Dunno why but as I was buying the shoe I got a 20 of weed, now everyone is saying I stink , lol

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:24, Reply)
I did the same but I'm hiding at home

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:27, Reply)
I might just go home and get bolloxed, I'm not really up for going out

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:42, Reply)
I can only do an all-dayer if I load up on carbs first

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 18:59, Reply)
I don't eat that would fuck me right up

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:08, Reply)
Plus, cheating

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:29, Reply)
No'n you'n.
You can't buy barbecue charcoal anywhere at this time of year. I had to use compressed wood heating briquettes instead. Load of old bollix so.
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:07, Reply)
Fucking hell

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:10, Reply)
bored cunts ?

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 20:38, Reply)

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