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hey! what's your most favourite thing ever right now?

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 23:52, Reply)
White men can't jump
And people that like Venn diagrams they are right cunts
(, Sun 26 Apr 2015, 0:37, Reply)
you

(, Sun 26 Apr 2015, 0:45, Reply)
*blushes*

(, Sun 26 Apr 2015, 0:54, Reply)
Yeah that's about right

(, Sun 26 Apr 2015, 1:21, Reply)
Planting out the tomoatoes, chilis and carrots tomorrow. This idea pleases me.
Least favourite thing: Waiting on a letter that will probably never come.
(, Sun 26 Apr 2015, 1:04, Reply)
may the weather be with you
also - don't fink there's any post on a sunday anyway so don't worry and just enjoy your plants tomorrow x
(, Sun 26 Apr 2015, 1:07, Reply)
That's thoroughly decent of you.
The letter's being sent by email, so you never know.
(, Sun 26 Apr 2015, 1:26, Reply)
Another garden job is repairing the flower bed.
The stone wall got knocked about by a pair of fighting badgers. They were really going for it, all over a handful of peanuts.
(, Sun 26 Apr 2015, 1:28, Reply)

turnips
(, Sun 26 Apr 2015, 3:05, Reply)
anyone been watching the snooker?

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 15:21, Reply)
nah i've gone off it since learning it's all fake

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 15:56, Reply)
it's been really good
epic shots from the newcomer
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 16:12, Reply)
how many 50ps are lined up on the side?

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 16:15, Reply)
none, i think the ref's been nicking them

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 16:16, Reply)
yeah the Jukebox never gets in the way,
i mean how likely is that?
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 16:15, Reply)
yes

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 16:06, Reply)
not really

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 16:07, Reply)
only pool tables in my local and I only watch if fit chicks are bending over it, soz

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 16:25, Reply)
pity

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 16:29, Reply)
snooker time!
*vamooses*
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 16:39, Reply)
Any of them commando Mongy?

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 16:54, Reply)
He wouldn't mind sinking his pink in their brown haha

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 17:43, Reply)
I'm watching "Who'd Be A Billionare"
There are rich people out there who wear perfume that contains whale spit. There's wealthy and then there's SUPER WEALTHY!
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 16:52, Reply)
WHALE-THY!

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 17:07, Reply)
p.s. you do watch some rubbish,
i don't know how they think these things up
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 17:08, Reply)
No I'm in Malta.
Some prick collapsed on the plane and they asked for a doctor but I sent my wife to deal with it.
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 17:40, Reply)
how long are you on holiday for?

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 17:51, Reply)
can you bring me some pastizz back, please?

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 17:53, Reply)
love that shit

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 17:53, Reply)
it's spelt "pasties"

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 18:12, Reply)
Has she got a GCSE in life saving?

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 19:18, Reply)
two lengths of the big pool in her pyjamas, no fakin'

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 21:14, Reply)
no brick retrieval?
it's very important to be able to save a drowning rubber brick, apparently.
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 22:20, Reply)
at this time of night?

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 23:41, Reply)
Yo.

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 13:50, Reply)
ghurt

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 13:51, Reply)
kozuna

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 14:04, Reply)
tna should be good this sunday.

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 15:03, Reply)
u've got to
Get into the groove
Boy you've got to prove
Your love to me, yeah
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 14:24, Reply)

Typical 👳
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 14:36, Reply)
sushi

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 14:54, Reply)
Ryanair are fucking pricks, the stupid woman at the desk made me move a load of stuff from my booked hold luggage to my hand luggage because it was 1kg over, then asked if I would let them put my hand luggage in the hold because the flight was too full.
The other people on the plane are disgusting. Next time I'm flying BA
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 6:07, Reply)
This place would be dead on its arse right now without me.
coincidentally, this plane smells like something is dead on its arse in here.
This is truly awful.
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 6:17, Reply)
They're too cheap to even give you a safety card, there's just some crude pictures printed on the back of the headrests, drawn by someone who can't do hands or faces.

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 6:22, Reply)
And what's the deal with this no airline food?

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 6:24, Reply)
Sorry guys, gonna have to go into flight safe mode now.

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 6:30, Reply)
Good night sweet prince.

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 9:04, Reply)
what, you're too good for a tin of pringles and a stubby can of stella?

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 10:22, Reply)
I flew Ryanair once, and on a plane big enough to hold 100's there were only 7
Yes 7 passengers, a ratio of 1:1 when it came to flight attendants:passengers and the service was still shit.

I was going to Bydgoszcz to meet a lady friend
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 8:38, Reply)
They're ok(ish) for shoveling people around if you know what you're getting.
They used to be really cheap, but now they're similar prices to Easyjet who are half-decent, so the only thing Ryanair has going for it these days is the out-of-the-way ex-NATO bases they fly to. Handy if you're going somewhere other than the big cities. Shit for everything else.
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 9:00, Reply)
I think when I went to Poland it was about £17 there and £33 for the return flight
Which you really can't argue with
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 9:18, Reply)
There's something churlish about flying with a notoriously shitty airline,
then complaining about it being shitty.
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 9:47, Reply)
HAHAHA
you poor person.
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 9:56, Reply)
Monarch are a happy medium
good prices and minimal plebs on board
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 10:20, Reply)
Last time we flew with Monarch
it sounded like there was something flapping around
loose under the aircraft for the entire flight.
Everyone was shitting themselves.
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 10:40, Reply)

When we flew Monarch
Flapping loose undercarriage
We were bricking it
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 11:09, Reply)
<3 haiku

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 12:17, Reply)

我々はモナークを飛ばしたときは
緩い足回り羽ばたき
私たちは恐れた
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 13:44, Reply)
wow

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 13:52, Reply)
Yes.
Monarch with an extra leg room seat = budget happy flight.
Easyjet are ok for short flights to Europoor or Edinburgh.
Ryanair - only flown once, for 4 hours. NEVER AGAIN.
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 12:49, Reply)
BA said "I ain't gitting in no airplane fooo!"

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 10:38, Reply)
I'm in the pub listening to two old women discuss their toilet habits, I was going to eat, fuck that now

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 12:45, Reply)
...having a wank instead \o/

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 13:32, Reply)
might take them home, they seem to be damp constantly

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 13:36, Reply)
O_o

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 13:51, Reply)

Mabel likes squatting
Over a washing up bowl
Emptying her bowels
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 13:40, Reply)

Doris shits inside
But gets a daily kick from
Pissing on the lawn
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 13:46, Reply)

in the pub, ladies
discuss their toilet habits
mongy listens in
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 13:53, Reply)

Lurid tales of poo
almost sausage casserole
puts m off his food
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 14:02, Reply)
Alright guys. My baby is due in 2 weeks
Any advice I promise to write down and take everything you say on board and record it all in my nice new notebook
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 22:36, Reply)
fuck off, nonce.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 22:37, Reply)
The first poo is the worst.
Childbirth is a disgusting mess.
Babies are a lot more robust than you think, but try not to shake them.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 22:42, Reply)
Oh, and learn to love the smell and texture of cottage cheese,
as it's identical to baby vomit.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 22:44, Reply)
I have no sense of smell so that's half the battle won

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 23:22, Reply)
try not to nonce it.
good luck x
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 22:45, Reply)
I will have to hold back some natural urges

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 23:22, Reply)
Can't help,
never had kids.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 23:12, Reply)
Don't rub it in prick

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 23:22, Reply)
Fuck you

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 23:23, Reply)
Get fucked you "dJay"

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 23:25, Reply)
Whatever a one of them is

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 23:25, Reply)
Poof

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 23:36, Reply)
If I am the poof then you are certainly the moores law piece of furniture
Being a "dJay" and all
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 0:44, Reply)
don't tell us anything about it ever again because we don't care.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 23:32, Reply)
best advice right here

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 0:25, Reply)
Fuck me you don't sleep ALL evening then just to be awesome in the morning

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 0:45, Reply)
what?

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 1:12, Reply)

You The Doveston, don't sleep in the evening you are just awesomely witty in the morning. Apologies for the appalling way in which I structured my previous post. Please feel free to belittle me
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 1:42, Reply)
why does nobody every understand that this is true
you had an extra special shit and kept it...well done...now please, please, try to imagine that although it's tricked you via hormones into thinking it's now the central pivot point of the entire universe...*spoiler alert*...it actually isn't
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 12:21, Reply)
sleep now
because you will never sleep again... ever... seriously
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 23:39, Reply)
I have heard this a lot recently
sound advice I believe then. Thanks I will make sure I tune in to brb threads and the Doveston threads and make sure I go to places where "dJay"rich is "djaying"
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 0:47, Reply)
Just keep pushing and try not to shit yourself

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 0:24, Reply)
You are a doctor and normally your advice is sound

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 0:47, Reply)
If you want a chance at sleeping, breastfeeding and keeping the baby in the bed with you worked well for us.
No getting up to feed, no making up formula or heating bottles. Just plug in the refuelling point and doze off again.

Also, 90% of the advice you get applies only to the advisor's baby and circumstances.

Also, fuck off nonce.
(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 9:03, Reply)
alright b3ta what's shaking?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:54, Reply)
betting won't get you anything

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:56, Reply)
wot?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:59, Reply)
you heard.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 22:21, Reply)
MY BULGING ERECTION
*windmills*
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 22:03, Reply)
my tits
:(
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 22:14, Reply)
*wobbly mantits FIVES*

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 22:17, Reply)
yeah!

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 22:29, Reply)
I feel asleep whilst watching The Thing.
Exciting Friday night at chez munch.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 22:32, Reply)
Which one?

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 0:25, Reply)
How many houses has he got?

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 7:59, Reply)
Nepal, by all accounts.

(, Sat 25 Apr 2015, 10:14, Reply)
Another thread.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 20:55, Reply)
and who says this website is dying on it's arse

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 20:58, Reply)
I think we've all mentioned that at some point
in the last oh I don't know, five years.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 20:58, Reply)
on the plus side, you don't get podka dots any more

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:02, Reply)

http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=site:b3ta.com+%22dead+on+its+arse%22
9,700 results
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:02, Reply)
fuck

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:03, Reply)
hang about

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:03, Reply)
It's just this kind of link fail
that's made this site what it is today.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:04, Reply)
%22lol%22

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:05, Reply)
I got 129,000 results
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=site:b3ta.com+#q=site:b3ta.com+dead+on+its+arse

do I win?
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:04, Reply)
I can't use google, is there a way to display the results oldest first?
Just wondering whether people in 2002 were complaining that it wasn't as good as the old days
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:06, Reply)
I'm pretty sure saying it was dead on it's arse is down to gilgafrank about 3 years ago
prior to that it was 'this site isn't as good as it used to be' © viz 1985
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:10, Reply)
People were saying on /board before /talk existed in 2004 when I joined that it's not as good as the "old days"

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:12, Reply)
Hold up I've been on this site longer than you

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:13, Reply)
mind you, I've been drunk 86% of the time

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:13, Reply)
Yes you have.
Just :)
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:15, Reply)
*old fart FIVES*

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:35, Reply)
I quite like it.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 20:58, Reply)
cheers

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:10, Reply)
this is the 9th one today!
will we make it to the big one-oh before midnight?
stay tuned
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:10, Reply)
doubt it beardo

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:22, Reply)
you're such a negative nancy

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:37, Reply)
I'll put a tenner on yes

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:54, Reply)
swingers
have pampas grass
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 19:31, Reply)
I'm the king of the swingers, ooh,
the jungle VIP.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 19:38, Reply)
Mingers
often have a gargantuan arse
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 19:40, Reply)
I like big butts...

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 19:45, Reply)
he cannot lie

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 19:47, Reply)
well yeah we know that
alright richyplops
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 19:48, Reply)
ez matey

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 20:38, Reply)
A minger with a massive arse once saved me from getting into a fight.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 20:10, Reply)
so there's that then

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 20:45, Reply)
BELLYS GONNA GET YA!!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=56Yxxd6WqYs
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:49, Reply)
the final solution y/n

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 17:38, Reply)
Y

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 17:39, Reply)
y

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 17:41, Reply)
standard

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 17:50, Reply)
Alright beefy
What have you done with the sunshine? 3 weeks as well now...
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 18:10, Reply)
yeah sorry about that

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 18:12, Reply)
1 part final to 12 parts water

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 18:21, Reply)
the nazis loved a bit of homeopathy

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 18:40, Reply)
it's funny because it's true

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 19:03, Reply)
Ahhh so they were saunas really, that explains a lot.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 19:23, Reply)
hitler is jacuzzi

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 20:13, Reply)
bit racist mate

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 21:50, Reply)
Do do doo doooo
do do do do dooo
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 19:00, Reply)
My palm itches.
Does this mean I'm a werewolf?
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:48, Reply)
means money coming

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:51, Reply)
lend us a tenner?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:56, Reply)
im not funding a berlingo

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:59, Reply)
We've abandoned that.
I will burn my ill-gotten gains on a set of roof bars, instead. I'd have the lamest episode of Pimp My Ride.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 17:04, Reply)
i went round looking at cars last year, with my rods to see the fit, audi got shitty so i bought a van and kept my car

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 17:11, Reply)
God forbid you buy the vehicle that suits your purpose.
I filled the Berlingo with child seats (and children) on the test drive, and they were happy for me to come back and chuck the bikes in the back. Mind you, this was after I told them to not worry about valeting the car first! Almost feel bad for not buying it, now.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 19:36, Reply)
probably means you ought to wash your hands.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 17:08, Reply)
good advice.
remember to wash your hands.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 17:15, Reply)
easy fix, sellotape nettles to your hands and have a wank.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 17:28, Reply)
hi guy's!!
Richard here, just wishing you all a happy Friday!!!! Be lucky x
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:42, Reply)
Alright love

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:44, Reply)
I'm gr8 m8t3 ta
U?
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:48, Reply)
yer m8
fukin luvin it
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:49, Reply)
yus m7

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:30, Reply)
you sunk my battleship

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:22, Reply)
no chance, off to the dentist and Im phobic, smashing vodka at the moment

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:50, Reply)
sta strong hun x

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:04, Reply)
I'm nearly at panic attack stage, and Ive 2 hours to go, I can see me cancelling

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:09, Reply)
why not blow it out and get an early morning appointment booked
Less time to build it up then eh
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:13, Reply)
I'd still be in bits, I'll just keep drinking and hope I hit a calm plateau

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:17, Reply)
how the fuck is it friday?
i could have sworn it was wednesday
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:03, Reply)
maybe I've made a mistake

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:05, Reply)
no i think you're probably right
this week is just beginning to make sense now i know what day it is.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:17, Reply)
much luv to ya, dick mcbeef

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:10, Reply)
back atcha, fellow cool guy

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:12, Reply)
safe

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:14, Reply)
well bum

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:33, Reply)
my brother just texted me:
'I know Peter Duncan's address. His daughter is well fit'
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:36, Reply)
does he know pj's address?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:43, Reply)
'ah cannat see' him having that tbh

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:00, Reply)
I was watching Duncan Dares when my grandfather died in our cloakroom.
What an odd thing to remember.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:06, Reply)
hook us up, m8

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:15, Reply)
sure m8

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:17, Reply)
willies

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:08, Reply)
won'ties

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:10, Reply)
he mighties

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:57, Reply)
dick

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:13, Reply)
spotted?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:17, Reply)
crested

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:18, Reply)
ring neck

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:19, Reply)
pygmy

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:21, Reply)
bored

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:23, Reply)
hey, m8, don't be like that
we live in a world full of possibilities.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:28, Reply)
That's true
I just read that one of the twin boys from Everybody Loves Raymond has killed himself. He was only 19. It's made me do a sad. I didn't know him, never met him. 19's just too young isn't it.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:32, Reply)
tell that to Paul Hardcastle

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:34, Reply)
Yeah, and where's HE now??
Acutally, look who I'm asking. Knowing you, you probably have his last 12 albums and saw him at the Brixton Academy last year ;)
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:35, Reply)
his track 'Rainforest' is regarded as an electro classic.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:36, Reply)
I liked it when he released a new version of D Train's 'You're the one for me' which sounded identical to the original.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:38, Reply)
Haha, I knew you wouldn't let me down :)

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:39, Reply)
more Hardcastle facts can be found at www.paultheotherone.co.uk forward slash facts

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:39, Reply)
I had 19 on vinyl
*waits for Manolith to point out how old I am*
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:41, Reply)
Fuck me, 1985????

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:42, Reply)
I had a fucking PICTURE DISC of it, I'm not even lyin', bruv

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:43, Reply)
Jesus
I think the first picture discs I ever had were by Roland Rat. I think one was Rat Rappin' and the other was Love Me Tender. A superlative cover version, when you consider he wasn't even a real rat.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:45, Reply)
I had a pic disc of Word Up by Cameo.
It came with a display stand.

To this day they hold the 'funniest lead singer's name of all time' award
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:51, Reply)
Hahaha
Wikipedia helped me out there
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:53, Reply)
Theophilus P. Wildebeeste?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:02, Reply)
No, my mistake, he was a send up of Teddy Pendergrass.
Oh well, I must have been a tiny tot when that was on TV, anyway.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:05, Reply)
NO REAL NAMES

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:06, Reply)
that's cool, you're doing a fine job yourself

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:58, Reply)
I've been reading about that Apple watch
Are there any 'pros' of owning one? Everything about it sounds terrible. It almost seems like an april fools joke.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:15, Reply)
Apart from the "look at me, I own an Apple product" thing that so many people enjoy

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:15, Reply)
Tim Cook gets more money to spend on attempting to resurrect Steve Jobs.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:19, Reply)
That's fine for him
but what about the poor suckers that have spunked hundreds of pounds on arguably the least necessary gadget of modern times?
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:20, Reply)
They're burdened with less of that troublesome "money".

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:21, Reply)
The Apple shop is miles from where I live
So I'm going to cut out the middle man and flush 300 down the toilet and tell all my friends I did it.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:22, Reply)
i walked past an apple shop as it was opening on a sunday morning in the run up to christmas
as the queuing customers entered the store, all the staff began to applaud them. it was one of the most sickening things i'd ever seen
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:29, Reply)
christ almighty
Yeah, I'm glad I didn't see that
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:31, Reply)
might buy the edition version the, jk, I'll stick with rolex

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:30, Reply)
did you go to the dentist?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:32, Reply)
I did, did not like wouldn't recommended :(

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:43, Reply)
well done for going anyway

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:56, Reply)
I've just stopped shaking, he did nothing too

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 17:00, Reply)
Actually, 'necessary' isn't the right word
Nothing of what they make is necessary. This watch looks utterly useless. It's not on all the time, it will go 15 hours on one charge IF you don't actually use it, you need to have your phone nearby to access most of the functions....what is it for exactly?
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:21, Reply)
Anyway, who cares
People can spend their money on whatever the fuck they want. I paid 4500 for a guitar, so I'm not one to talk.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:27, Reply)
That's a lot of money for a toy.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:30, Reply)
It's not really a toy
but I take your comments onboard
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:32, Reply)
I'll be eating humble pie when you appear on Top Of The Pops.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:36, Reply)
It's a status symbol for the owner,
and an idiot warning for everyone else.
Gonz is getting one, so I rest my case.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:28, Reply)
fucking hell, dark

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:34, Reply)
Yeah, soz
I seem to be softening in my old age.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:36, Reply)
Hopefully Raymond will follow suit

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:35, Reply)
come on, that's not kind
I do a fairly good impression of him, as it goes
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:37, Reply)
A world in which he lives and Peter Boyle is dead is an unjust world, indeed.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:15, Reply)
that tv show is infuriating
you can hate Miranda, MCintyre, Mrs' Brown's Boys etc.
But I will switch off the telly when him and his gormless sounding brother appear
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:39, Reply)
His parents are the highlight of that show
And Patricia Heaton's tits obvs
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:39, Reply)
i did read Lee Mack and Catherine Tate were rumoured to do a UK remake of it

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:45, Reply)
ok, shut it down
I heard someone's making a tv series of The Rocky Horror Show. It's the worst idea in the history of the world, which almost certainly why it will happen.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:48, Reply)
Great! Not Going Out was comedy gold!

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:17, Reply)
There really should be an age restriction on suicide like there is on 'video nasties' and fags

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:37, Reply)
that's why I'm voting UKIP

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:37, Reply)
All we're saying is that we want English suicide for English people. It's not racist.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:39, Reply)
ISLAM ISN'T A RACE, HOW CAN I BE A RACIST??

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:40, Reply)
the trick to not being sad is to not care

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:03, Reply)
I know, my wife keeps telling me that
It's not easy living with a psychopath, you know. I have too much empathy and she has absolutely none. It's like a wacky sitcom in here!
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:16, Reply)
You're the original odd couple!

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:20, Reply)
We sure are!
Is there a single word in English that means both 'terrified' and 'lonely'?
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:23, Reply)
soliscary

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:32, Reply)
No.
I'll bet the Germans have this covered, they're superior in every way. Linguistically, at least.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:33, Reply)
feelin' dat

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:30, Reply)
true true

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:32, Reply)
im going to have a pint of lager at 4, i will pour one out for my bored homies

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:33, Reply)
sweet sweet no doubt
On tonight's menu we have fermented apple juice and jazz tobacco
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:38, Reply)
Like regular tobacco, but self indulgent and prone to outstaying its welcome?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:23, Reply)
It insists upon itself

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 16:26, Reply)
I can't wait to start my new job next month
It will be next to a pub. So I can enjoy a 4pm pint.
I'll probably dreamily stare into the sky thinking about you as I drink it.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:43, Reply)
Congrats m8, you never said!

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:49, Reply)
fucking christ I'm bored
I feel like throwing a bin to see the reaction of my colleagues then shitting in said bin
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:31, Reply)
do it
fuck shit up. Show them that just because you've been quiet, doesn't mean you're not a tempest of pent up rage.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:33, Reply)
6/7, got the last question wrong, i am raging
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-32431550
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:20, Reply)
7/7!
makes up for the last two times when I got 1
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:34, Reply)
great work, have the rest of the day off

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:15, Reply)
cheers x

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:20, Reply)
4 for me
i have to be honest, i got bored reading a couple of the questions. i'm not really on form today
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:35, Reply)
is everything ok at home?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:16, Reply)
same, I got the piss one wrong

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:35, Reply)
excellent work, as always

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:17, Reply)
I've just cleaned my bbq, The Doveston
It was sat doing nothing for the best part of a year and it's fucking filthy. How does this happen?
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:47, Reply)
you don't keep it anywhere near your lawn do you?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:48, Reply)
The shed is close to the lawn I suppose

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:49, Reply)
when are we coming over? do you want me to bring a pack of smartprice 'sausages'

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:26, Reply)
Ah, 'bangers' only please
I prefer my food to have a sub-minimum meat requirement
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:39, Reply)
It is still filthy after cleaning it?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:30, Reply)
Well, no
You do understand the principles of cleaning, I assume?
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:39, Reply)
it's easier to assume he doesn't understand the principles of anything

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:43, Reply)
I was just teasing about how your post reads.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:52, Reply)
two hats is very sensitive at the moment and you shouldn't tease him

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:04, Reply)
don't encourage him, Tangled

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:07, Reply)

The grill lever, operated by the chef, is connected to a series of selector rods in the top or side of the grill. The selector rods lie parallel with shafts carrying the grills.

The most popular design is the constant-mesh grillbox. It has three shafts: the input shaft, the layshaft and the mainshaft, which run in bearings in the grillbox casing.

There is also a shaft on which the reverse-grill idler pinion rotates.

The charcoal cooks the input shaft, which cooks the layshaft. The layshaft rotates the grills on the mainshaft, but these rotate freely until they are locked by means of the synchromesh device, which is splined to the shaft.

It is the synchromesh device which is actually operated by the chef, through a selector rod with a fork on it which moves the synchromesh to engage the grill.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:24, Reply)
I wasn't expecting this

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:28, Reply)
he goes above and beyond the call of duty to help forum members
he should be a mod
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:29, Reply)
just like 'your mum'

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:36, Reply)
oh no he didn't!

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:37, Reply)
I keep her in the shed because she's a "hoe" (ho)
hahahaha
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:38, Reply)
7/7
that rings a bell...hmm
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:29, Reply)
do one

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:26, Reply)
6/7

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:02, Reply)
5
I feel dirty for having taken part in this.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:14, Reply)
Just had an email from HR, reminding us not to come in wearing shorts and t-shirts, or jeans.
I feel I should confront the inherent sexism and turn up in a dress. I almost certainly won't, though.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:44, Reply)
wear some 'jorts' m8

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:47, Reply)
i preferred them when they were known as 'daisy dukes' and attractive women wore them

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:59, Reply)
I preferred them when they were called 'daisy Dukes of hazard' and you could jump in slow motion and get a voiceover questioning what would happen next

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:03, Reply)
One of our HR ladies is really attractive
Which I don't think is fair. The other one looks like Matt Lucas, which makes much more sense. Zero chance of her being harrassed. The other one's like a honeytrap.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:50, Reply)
Is that sexist? Maybe even misogynistic?
I can't tell these days
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:51, Reply)
not sure hr is short for harassment, dunno tho

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:53, Reply)
Is it not?
I need to read the company handbook I reckon
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:54, Reply)
you don't find matt lucas attractive? bit weird mate, i thought you were alright until now

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:54, Reply)
Don't get me wrong, he's lovely
But imagine him wearing a long dark wig and a frumpy floral dress/cardigan combo. *shudder*
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:58, Reply)
Sexist

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:00, Reply)
:(

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:07, Reply)
Caitlin Moran will NEVER suck me off now! :(

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:07, Reply)
she might, if, erm, you, y'know...
forced her....
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:08, Reply)
Can you force someone to suck you off?
There seems to be a certain element of danger to that.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:09, Reply)
Exactly

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:10, Reply)
have you seen any of that series she wrote, 'raised by wolves'
it's not bad
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:20, Reply)
She sends me into an uncontrollable fury, whenever she's in the radio. I would very much like her to shut up.
Much like Toby Young.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:44, Reply)
I'd like to shut her up too
WITH MY COCK
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:47, Reply)
I'd like to choke Victoria Coren to death with my penis, but it's not an aspect of my personality that I'm particularly proud of.
There was a girl in the office who aroused the same response, I was ever so glad when she left. Putting up with her bullshit was intolerable, although her claims that her parents ran a private festival on their farm, every year, and that they once had Pulp play at her birthday party, were rather amusing.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:57, Reply)
wow, that's a lot to take in
so to speak
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:43, Reply)
On reflection, it seems unlikely that a grown woman could choke to death on a cocktail sausage.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:46, Reply)
again, you should be naughty stepped for this

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:35, Reply)
what about jeggings?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:52, Reply)
here's the go
globalflare.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/men-should-never-wear11.jpg
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:55, Reply)
wow

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:03, Reply)
That picture was taken for my own personal use

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:08, Reply)
i wear tshirt and jeans to work, or tshirt and shorts in summer
so i can't really sympathise, sorry.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:57, Reply)
Under all of my clothes I'm as nude as a bee!

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:58, Reply)

previews.123rf.com/images/immermehr/immermehr1409/immermehr140900047/31675778-Cool-bee-wearing-sunglasses-in-two-variants-Stock-Vector.jpg
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:01, Reply)
IT'S A HIVE MIND YOU KNOW
/ac
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:07, Reply)
sometimes, in summer, i wear flip flops. I could in the winter too if i wanted to.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:59, Reply)
we don't have a dress code so I have to make up my own rules and restrictions

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:01, Reply)
robe - check, wizard hat - check

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:10, Reply)
I wear crotchless knickers over my face like a lacy, sideways ninja

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:05, Reply)
I don't really!
What am I like?!
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:05, Reply)
You devil!

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:06, Reply)
bit of a twat, okay in small doses

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:07, Reply)
coward

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:07, Reply)
that only works as a direction if there are visible or known cows.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:16, Reply)
it's not a dress, it's a muumuu

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:07, Reply)
Oh my god, Doveston's had a stroke
Quick, what are we supposed to do? Isn't Vinnie Jones supposed to dance on his chest or summat?? WHAT DO WE DO???
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:08, Reply)
STOP DROP AND ROLL!

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:09, Reply)
NO I MEAN CLUNK CLICK EVERY TRIP

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:10, Reply)
it's ok, the left side of my face feels fine
my left hand is a bit numb but that's because i've been sitting on it, for y'know, reasons
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:12, Reply)
I like to inject my buttocks with novocaine first so it feels like someone else is sitting on it

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:23, Reply)
hey fatty I've got a movie for ya
a fridge too far
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:37, Reply)
I haven't worn shorts in over a decade
because I'm not a child.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:20, Reply)
lol, grrry swims in his trousers

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:25, Reply)
lol, grrry wears boxer trousers

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:29, Reply)
lol, Poland

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:46, Reply)
Not my fault if you live somewhere cold and miserable,
and/or have repulsive knees.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:48, Reply)
sounds horrible where you work
do you work in insurance or summat?
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:36, Reply)
Health Service.
Our COO is a neat freak, but fortunately I've been placed far enough away from her office that she doesn't have to see me wallowing in my own filth.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 11:59, Reply)
Buying a 2.5 hp meat bandsaw?
Is that likely to require a 3-phase supply, because I don't have one in my house or garage.

It's a nice model with serious bone-cutting, grinding and stuffing ability, but the seller hasn't specified the voltage.

Should I just skip it and look for something less powerful that works on a domestic supply?
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:37, Reply)
you can get that sized motor on a 230v supply, hth,

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:41, Reply)
I'm on 110V though
230V requires a special connection here. It's normal for the washing machine but that's about it.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:43, Reply)
I'd ask, but I'd of fault it would be made clear if it required a 415v supply

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:46, Reply)
North American voltages.
Same reason it takes a kettle fucking ages to boil here.

110V is standard- well up to 130V- and 230-250V is 3-phase.

At least it "bites" less when you fuck up and forget a wire is live.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:48, Reply)
then Ive no idea, retarded fucking Electrics

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:49, Reply)
I'll fuck it off then
With the delivery and import charges it would probably work out more expensive than buying the same model new here.

Someone was selling one at half-price and it looked like a good deal, but you have to take ramifications into account.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:52, Reply)
we must take heed of the ramifications, that's a must

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:54, Reply)
Here's a funny thing
If I order shit from the UK or China it arrives quickly and I don't get fucking stung with a shitload of charges.

If I buy anything from the US- just across the border- it takes ages to deliver and there's a fuckload of taxes and import charges on top.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:57, Reply)
Yeah, it's almost certain to need a 3 phase supply
I'd go for a domestic model. It'll be worth it in the long run.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:42, Reply)
how are you working that out, it'll be less than a 2kw motor

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:44, Reply)
I have literally no knowledge of this subject
I'm just spouting words. It's how I get through most situations. You should hear me talk about football.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:53, Reply)
it's OK, other turns out mickey mouse wired north america, like a cunt

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:55, Reply)
you fraud!

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:01, Reply)
you tarzan

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:02, Reply)
i'm more like george of the jungle

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:09, Reply)
Poor old Brendon Fraser
He just can't make a really good film, can he? He's in a couple of OK things, but you'd never say "Have you seen that new Brendan Fraser movie? Oh, it's fantastic!"
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:14, Reply)
his highest metascoring film is 'the quiet american' which i've never seen
but i think you're forgetting about the cinematic gems 'dudley do-right' and 'monkeybone'
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:21, Reply)
I'm thinking California Man
And The Mummy movies weren't totally terrible, but he's no Indiana Jones. Someone much more charismatic could've made those movies classic.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:23, Reply)
nic cage, you mean?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:27, Reply)
Nich Cag is like literally the world film 'star' ever

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:28, Reply)
Alright Chris Traeger

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:34, Reply)
do you want to take another swing at this post?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:34, Reply)
sounds a bit gay

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:39, Reply)
correct

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:34, Reply)
The Quiet American is very good.
I think he dies at the beginning.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:27, Reply)
more about Caine tho innit, good tho

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:34, Reply)
Very much so.
It's muddled up in my head with The Tailor of Panama.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:38, Reply)
Just saw your post about Mario Kart
When we first got the machine it took two fucking hours to install, what with all the updates. My boys were getting very impatient. More patient than I was anyway. As you say, I wanted to throw the fucking thing through the window
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:40, Reply)
my ps4 does that every time I switch it on, I've given up on the black bastard

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:45, Reply)
My brother has about four games installed on his PS3, and so has to uninstall one whenever he wants to play something new.
I am unimpressed by this state of affairs.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:52, Reply)
he only needs to get a bigger hard drive, think the ps4 is 500g as standard

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:55, Reply)
8gb in his, which is laughable.
I've shown him how to put a new ssd in, but I doubt he ever will.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:16, Reply)
Ive no idea what sony were thinking doing that, those crazy japs

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:31, Reply)
After a week of having my PS4 some sort of problem occurred and I had to reset the machine back to factory default
Hadn't been playing for too long (thankfully), but I lost everything.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:08, Reply)
mine wouldn't go into standby mode for a while, so had to be hard rebooted, then it would tell me off, me!!!

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:19, Reply)
It's crazy.
If I wanted to spend hours downloading updates, I'd use the PC. Being back cartridges, I say.
The WiiU controller has already been dropped enough times that one of the shoulder buttons feels spongy, and the right stick seems to occasionally recalibrate. I dread to think what a replacement will cost - the 40 for a Pro Controller was bad enough, although that seems to have survived being hurled into the wall (needed the sticks recalibrated, though).
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:50, Reply)
At the risk of sounding old
NONE of these things are built to last
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:08, Reply)
The joypads for the MegaDrive were bomb proof (even the cheap, knock-off one that player 2 had to use),
but I got through PlayStation controllers like they were going out of fashion. All downhill from there, I think.
Even the joysticks from my Spectrum days would outlive their hosts, despite intensive waggling on Daley Thompson. The Bug I had for the Amiga was the best thing ever.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:22, Reply)
I think you should be naughty stepped

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:11, Reply)
They wouldn't dare
I've got the mods in my pocket, SS.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:13, Reply)
don't push me, matey

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:15, Reply)
haha, Two Hats is a condom

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:20, Reply)
^clickin this

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:43, Reply)
I haven't been on the popular page in yonks

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:21, Reply)
lol, grinding and stuffing

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:42, Reply)
my compressor is 4.2kM (3.1kW) and is single phase
but you'll need to ask the seller.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:43, Reply)
I did think that might be an idea
Buy a generator specifically for the purpose.

Ideally I'd like to have my workshop for EU voltages rather than American ones. Not impossible but I've already bought enough tools without having to remember which sockets I can and can't plug them into.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:46, Reply)
Gaz Mongy he is good with these kind of things.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:46, Reply)
I can't believed you stomped on the morning thread so soon.
I hope you fall, face first, into your meat saw.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:47, Reply)
woah, a darker side to monster munch

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:53, Reply)
it wasn't a proper morning thread though, was it

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:53, Reply)
It could have been the greatest morning thread, ever, if it had been given the chance.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:59, Reply)
to be fair, that 'h' was always going to hold it back
like a gammy leg or a facial birth mark.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:03, Reply)
I don't care for your attitude, Grrry.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:12, Reply)
I will not apologise for being pro-eugenics
when it comes to 'morning' threads
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:21, Reply)
don't know or care hth

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:53, Reply)
get a pinball table instead

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:53, Reply)
Place here sells reconditioned tables
Pretty nice 80s models, but it's a lot of money for a toy.

Tempted though- if my body-disposal business takes off.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:59, Reply)
i want a bunch of arcade cabinets and pinball tables
i think maybe i just want to run an arcade
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:10, Reply)
I can just see you as the creepy man in the booth, handing out change to teenagers
whilst barely looking up from the comic book in front of you, except for the occasional leer.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:15, Reply)
harsh
nah, if i opened an arcade down here it would just be full of hipster pricks. also, there are a few arcades down here, being a coastal town and all. maybe i'll just have a bar instead
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:28, Reply)
Sad times.
I have many happy memories of the arcades, but their impossible to recapture.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:42, Reply)
There used to be a comic book place in portsmouth that was just like that
The guy running it would just smirk at EVERYONE who walked in. He was such a prick. Carbon copy of Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:42, Reply)
the place on albert road?
ian's comics or sutin
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:49, Reply)
No, it was called Mondo
It was in Charlotte's originally, but then it moved over to the corner where Tricorn Pets used to be when the shopping centre closed down.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:09, Reply)
I remember that one
didn't he also sell used records for 50p each, or was that somewhere else?
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:10, Reply)
In Charlotte's?
I'm not sure if he owned both, but the record stall was right next to him.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:14, Reply)
God, that seems like a lifetime ago

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:14, Reply)
Dunno, but closer to the King's Theatre than Tesco's, that's all I remember

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:20, Reply)
I thought you had to be deaf, dumb and blind?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:00, Reply)
you don't have to be...
...BUT IT HELPS!!!
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:00, Reply)
haha!
KEEP CALM AND BE DEAF, DUMB AND BLIND
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:01, Reply)
I really hate that Keep Calm thing
Or rather, I'm amazed that people still think it's funny enough to have on a t-shirt/mug/poster/cushion/fucking everything
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:02, Reply)

HAHAHAHA
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:08, Reply)
Ah, blocked

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:14, Reply)
It's like what Mano done but better and before he done it alright

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:22, Reply)
gotcha

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:24, Reply)
^noel edmunds

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:27, Reply)
I'll take that on a mug, please.

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:16, Reply)
quick, buy a mouse mat!
www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/p/keep-calm-and-be-deaf-dumb-blind/
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:09, Reply)
Who buys mouse mats?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:13, Reply)
Mice

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:14, Reply)
You just blew my mind

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:15, Reply)
that's not the only think i just blew!!!

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:27, Reply)
haha not really, no offence

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:27, Reply)
haha none taken this is great I love it here

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:36, Reply)
fucking hell, these are the most recent submissions
www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/gallery/latest
what is wrong with everyone?
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:18, Reply)
Haha, the one I just made for you is on there
Can you guess which one?
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:19, Reply)
this?
www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/p/keep-calm-and-finger-dogs/
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:21, Reply)
nope

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:24, Reply)
Haha. who did the dog fingering one?

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:22, Reply)
there's one about killing hogan as well

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:33, Reply)
Weird

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:38, Reply)

this one?
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:24, Reply)
I was thinking the exact same thing

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:24, Reply)
malo nepristojno, m8

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:25, Reply)
it's easy to see how with 0 votes yours became the 723rd most popular

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:25, Reply)
the system works

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:26, Reply)
it seems either "heil" or "hitler" is a rude word
that requires a login.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:25, Reply)
what a world

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:26, Reply)
too late for the morning thread :(

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:55, Reply)
alright tangs

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 8:59, Reply)
hey hey twoser

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:00, Reply)
I was going to fire up the bbq today, but the clouds seem to be against me
As long as it doesn't rain it'll be alright...but it's a ball ache to get the fucking thing out of the shed. MY LIFE IS SO HARD.
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:03, Reply)
bring it up here, not a cloud in the sky at the moment

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:07, Reply)
I'll have to ride it the entire way
and the steering isn't what it once was
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:15, Reply)
starting to cloud over a bit now, so probably not worth it

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:26, Reply)
I'VE PUSHED IT OUT INTO THE ROAD NOW
CHRIST
(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 9:39, Reply)
Weather's looking pants this weekend too :(

(, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 10:43, Reply)

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