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alright you fucking cunt bastard spastic horse slasher cunt twat fucking shitcunt fuckhead faggots

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 20:37, Reply)
alright you maggot-infested Celine-Dion-listening turd burglar

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 20:48, Reply)
Yeah, back on the rods, 5 uk 30s this year so far, great

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 21:20, Reply)
MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BUM-BUM FROM OTHER GAY SPAZZES

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 21:37, Reply)
hello mr horrible

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 23:06, Reply)
fuck you

(, Wed 5 Aug 2015, 3:09, Reply)
I just got a haircut
What did you just get?
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:19, Reply)
an annoying twerp trying to copy the cool kids and failing miserably

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:20, Reply)
also, pastilles du Bassin de Vichy

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:20, Reply)
wut?

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:29, Reply)
disgusting!

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 15:05, Reply)
bit fruity

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 15:18, Reply)
guyrim

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 16:27, Reply)
guyrim?

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 16:44, Reply)
guyrim

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 17:11, Reply)
guyrim

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 18:31, Reply)
minty actually

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 16:56, Reply)
to celebrate the storming of the pastille?

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 15:19, Reply)
I can't believe she would do this to Mr Harding, I think I am going to have to send him an urgent gaz
www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p02y81hk/the-matt-edmondson-show-sarah-harding-plank-all-over-me
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:33, Reply)
:'(

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 15:18, Reply)
stay strong mc :(
www.paynehicksbeach.com/our-services/family
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 15:22, Reply)
Figured out that I might be able to get away with doing these assesments without watching the videos

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 15:14, Reply)
alright dilbert

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 18:29, Reply)

hilarious collocations.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 15:31, Reply)
a mental image of your terrible new haircut

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 16:28, Reply)
I got the pleasure
of giving a mullet to some nobend. He was well chuffed though.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 16:31, Reply)
haha, mullet are not very nice to eat, full of bones.

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 17:28, Reply)
a care hut

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 18:47, Reply)
Hope it's as good as my couldn't give a shit shed

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 19:09, Reply)
I just got a haircut
What did you just get?
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:47, Reply)
I went to Smiths armed with a discount card
but couldn't find anything I wanted. So basically, I haven't just got anything
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:49, Reply)
The latest edition of Practical Classics just hit the shelves
That's always a good buy
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:51, Reply)
There were three different carp magazines
I wasn't sure which was the more reputable publication so I left without any of them. I've cut my nose off to spite my face there.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:54, Reply)
They also had Stationary Engine Monthly
I'm just surprised they manage to cram everything into just a monthly publication
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:55, Reply)
Mad as it is
I do enjoy a good stationary engine. I saw a youtube video where they fired up a 100-year-old diesel that was the height of two blokes and only had one cylinder. When it did finally ignite, it smacked itself off the ground into the air with each power stroke, while an old bloke desperately tried to smother the intake in an attempt to suffocate it. Lovely stuff.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:59, Reply)
In all fairness, I'm sure it's actually quite interesting, from an engineering perspective
It's just nice to see that the sort of thing you see on Have I Got News For You actually exists
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:05, Reply)

oh really how fascinating
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:38, Reply)
Carp world is about the only decent one

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:56, Reply)
is their motto carp-e diem?
lololol
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:59, Reply)
What document secedes power from the king to the noble fish?
The Magna Carpa
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:00, Reply)
Where can you leave your fish for an hourly fee?
A carpark
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:09, Reply)
ray and display?

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:46, Reply)
There was one called Total Carp
I like to think it's perhaps a lighter, more satricial look at the world of carp fishing. If not, they've really not thought that through.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:06, Reply)
I'd read Max Carp or Performance Carp
where they bought old carp and bolted massive bodykits to them and painted them really garish colours so that they looked like rainbow trout.

"Ahh mate nah, I'm gonna do one, I sunk shitloads into me carp, thicker gaskets, head bolts, the lot, and now it's just gone and blown a turbot."
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:09, Reply)
it is known as total crap, it is just a bragging mag, loads of photos of readers with their fish

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:25, Reply)
have you seen that they're putting fratton park in the next big fifa game?
i bet people are clamouring to play there. can there be any greater feeling than punting in a screamer down the milton end?
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:57, Reply)
Scrambled onto the roof of Big Yellow Storage to watch a game there once

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:00, Reply)
No shit, I was banned from Big Yellow, it was the other one, opposite KFC

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:03, Reply)
Safestore

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:07, Reply)
Yeah, them

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:10, Reply)
Must be because they're building a big tesco down there

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:03, Reply)
i dun my hair yesterday n'all, grade 3 all over
but what i just got was a sore bumhole from shitting out the last of this stinking tummyrot.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:57, Reply)
I went drinking last week
and the next day I blasted out blackish green water all over the toilet. No solid lumps at all. I pissed out of my arse for the first time, and I thought it was all just Cockney hyperbole but no, it's true, you can actually shit water.

It was the colour of an After Eights box.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:02, Reply)
weirdly, I once did a shit that looked like a Matchmakers

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:09, Reply)
Grade 3?
Either wet shave or don't bother. Grade 3...honestly.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:08, Reply)
Hey I get grade 2s on top, and 1/2 on the sides :(

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:31, Reply)
noon

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 12:00, Reply)
hi noon

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 12:04, Reply)
*draws guns*

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 12:10, Reply)
well that didn't go well
i.imgur.com/TAB6E6L.png
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 12:12, Reply)

No
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 12:18, Reply)
Those guns look extremely well-tailored
my compliments to your seamstress
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 12:38, Reply)
cheers

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:01, Reply)
cheers

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:03, Reply)
cheers

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:09, Reply)
cheers

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:14, Reply)
cheers

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:23, Reply)
cheers

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:23, Reply)
cheers

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:26, Reply)
cheers

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:29, Reply)
cheers

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:41, Reply)
cheers

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:51, Reply)
cheers

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:58, Reply)
sreehc

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:48, Reply)
sreehc

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:49, Reply)
sreehc

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:49, Reply)
sreehc

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:50, Reply)
sreehc

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:50, Reply)
won derob

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:51, Reply)
*smub*

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 15:15, Reply)
moon

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 12:22, Reply)
Spoon

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 12:23, Reply)
goon

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 12:25, Reply)
coon

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 12:38, Reply)
reporting this to the mods

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:06, Reply)
I saw an actual black child outside my flat, today
it had cornrow hair and everything. So I can't be a racist.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:09, Reply)
Lunch soon, I'm starving

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 12:30, Reply)
My god
Havant is a fucking shit hole, teeming with the true dregs of south east hampshire. And I've been to Landport.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:18, Reply)
imagine the kind of mind that would be churned out by 'havant college'
it doesn't bear thinking about
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:24, Reply)
Hey, there are worse colleges than Havant
but the town centre...and the people...my god, it's grim
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:30, Reply)
i just meant because that's where i went, you see

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:40, Reply)
I know
I went to South Downs
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:45, Reply)

went to South have
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:45, Reply)
Is Paulsgrove part of Havant?
Friends of mine from Pompey give an involuntary shudder when they mentioned Paulsgrove.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:43, Reply)
No
Paulsgrove is between Cosham and Portchester. That's where they had the paedophile riot a number of years ago where a paediatrician's car was set on fire.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:44, Reply)
I remember that.

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 14:23, Reply)
Hopefully people who can spell haven't correctly unlike you two...oh hahahaha

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:35, Reply)
hahahaha

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 13:38, Reply)
MORNING

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 8:09, Reply)
you hideous prick

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 8:10, Reply)
wanker

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 8:14, Reply)
alright mr horrible
why are you horrible?
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 8:16, Reply)
Why are you a machine?

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 8:22, Reply)
because I am man-made

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 8:29, Reply)
because he's got a rusty undercarriage

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:23, Reply)

got a perfected the
undercarriage venture
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:51, Reply)
really?
whose definition are you using? www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rusty+Venture
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:01, Reply)
Good to know urbandictionary isn't letting its standards slip.

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:03, Reply)
ALL OF THEM
AT ONCE
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:08, Reply)
ambitious

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:26, Reply)
have you not met him?

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:24, Reply)
I've only met two actual humans from this website

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:26, Reply)
i've met quite a few
but horro was at the first bash i went to
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:30, Reply)
My fans come to me
which is why I only get one visit every five years, on average
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:47, Reply)
your talk posts bring all the boys to the bloc

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:58, Reply)
*cricket applause*

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:03, Reply)
I would have written three additional lines but all I could think of was highly inappropriate things ending in 'cock' :(

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:06, Reply)
and they're like, is this Vladivovstock?
Hell no, you got culture shock
Imma teach ya how the Polish rock.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:15, Reply)
Dunno, try singing it in a black accent, it might work

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:15, Reply)
"a black accent", ahahaha, Christ almighty.

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:17, Reply)
bare in mind Mr Tea
outside my sojourn to the UK last month, I only see one black person a year.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:19, Reply)
bloody poles, coming over here with their racism
not like our healthy, proper british racism
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:36, Reply)
I think Jim Davidson would be really popular in Poland
The sense of humour hasn't really left the late 70s
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:41, Reply)
"A Baptist, a Catholic and a Jew walk into a vodka dispensary.
They agree to renounce their superstitious beliefs as counter-revolutionary and proceed to get shitfaced together while singing stirring proletarian anthems.

You will now laugh."
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:51, Reply)
Relevant:
twitter.com/corbynjokes?lang=en
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:52, Reply)
"blackscent"

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:23, Reply)
pepper spray?

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:25, Reply)
lol
I think I want to hear an example of a black accent. Or Blaccent.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:32, Reply)
which one?
there's loads
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:35, Reply)
+ mon

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:37, Reply)
That's Scottish, you twat

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:41, Reply)
The Scotch: the blacks of the UK

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:43, Reply)
1. comedy jamaican
2. comedy nigerian
3. EVERYONE ELSE
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:38, Reply)
Whenever my grandad tells stories involving black people (whether their ethincity is relevant to the story or not)
his cod jamaican accent is SO bad it makes Jim Davidson sound like Alistair McGowan. It does all 'hello dare mon' stuff, but it goes all squeaky at the end of every sentence. It's bizarre.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:42, Reply)
oh, and all black people are from jamaica, obviously
He's such a funny little man
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:42, Reply)
Well it's where they come from, after all.
A lot of them seem to have left and settled in Africa for some reason.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:47, Reply)
now I'm wondering if there are any non-white people here
I always just assumed all /talkers were pasty white folk, which is probably racist.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:42, Reply)
pretty sure mono is ghanaian

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:45, Reply)
I heard tanzanian

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 11:01, Reply)
GOOD MORNING, MISTER HORRIBLE.
The WiFi here keeps playing up. Some muppet had two routers running DHCP servers on the same network - fixed that, but this TalkTalk router is pants, and the internet is really slow out here.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:10, Reply)
WTFAYBOA

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:17, Reply)
where are you and why are you on here instead of enjoying yourself?

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:23, Reply)
^ mod admitting that b3ta is not a place to enjoy oneself.

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:42, Reply)
duh

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:46, Reply)
Just outside Wales.
Kids bought their hudls with them, so 90% of the time I've spent in the house has been fiddling with the router, instead of lounging around with a beer.
See also: making the dishwasher work, making the hot water work, making the hot tub work. I ought to charge for my services.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:52, Reply)
oh, well there's your mistake

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:59, Reply)
what's a hudl?

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 11:09, Reply)
Tesco iPad

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 11:21, Reply)
a cross between a hug and a cuddle

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 11:24, Reply)
charlie brooker's favourite 'position'

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 11:48, Reply)
GREETING RESPONSE [ANTE-MERIDIEM] #34

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:33, Reply)
why hashtag 34
Are you subscribed to a niche porn tweet?
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:34, Reply)
Why not?
What have you got against 34 all of a sudden?
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:38, Reply)
does it fit?

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:37, Reply)
Yes it does
Although I couldn't wear it to work today. It's too warm to wear a t-shirt as underwear
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:39, Reply)
oh and the excuses begin

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:46, Reply)

what you wrote

But it's hot enough today already, without adding my sexy bod into the mix *camp giggle*
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:49, Reply)
*flexes*
It's hard looking this good, Grry, but someone's gotta do it. *stretches*
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:50, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsvwDAOVZqA
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:52, Reply)
When, in the entire history of humanity
did a knitted peach cardigan count as sexy attire?
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:59, Reply)
It'll certainly attract all the granny fetishists.

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:02, Reply)
lol
that's what me and manolith look like on a night out
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:01, Reply)
which one am i?

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:02, Reply)
no offense, honey
but you're no Linda Hamilton
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:03, Reply)
and you are?!

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:05, Reply)
don't hate me because I'm beautiful

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:06, Reply)
Another successful TH date night
noffload.net/uploader/files/1/term2/t2-%28226%29.jpg
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:11, Reply)
Followed by my bestest chat up line
I'm going to make hate to you
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:23, Reply)
he's wearing a dead badger as a headpiece
and he fucked Tommy Lee Jones then stole his special car
www.imdb.com/title/tt0090735/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_59
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:08, Reply)
you just ripped your trousers

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:57, Reply)
trust you to notice
don't be ashamed, manolith. You're only human.

only barely
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:00, Reply)
*growls*

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 10:01, Reply)
no, it just stares into the middle distance for a minute or two while smacking its lips

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:44, Reply)
oh!

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 9:49, Reply)
Is it

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 11:34, Reply)
not for long

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 11:51, Reply)
Morning
Thinking of moving to Cornwall.
Probably a bad idea
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 8:09, Reply)
It's shit there

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 8:23, Reply)
yeah I know
I'd fit right in
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 8:27, Reply)
Alright sorry to grrry but can anyone find me a better internet deal
As I am a tight fisted toe rag.
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 2:40, Reply)
^upset^

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 7:06, Reply)
Upset? Oh this is nothing.

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 7:45, Reply)
don't apologise to me
apologise to humanity
(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 7:16, Reply)
Old skool (Soz grrry) can anyone get me a broadband only deal? I have a thing with bt from ages ago that I pay 5.99 line rental a 1/4, factor that in, and my refusal to pay more, ta

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:07, Reply)
that's pretty cheap...
we use Zen internet and it's a lot more than that, but it's worth it for the service. Virgin Media were utterly shit.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:09, Reply)
I think orange went up to 15 quid a month, no line rental,

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:10, Reply)
i just looked up Zen,
it's 19.50 a month for their basic service.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:11, Reply)
No line taking over? I can still be bt?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:14, Reply)
yes
we use Zen on a BT line, don't think they even do the line just the broadband.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:14, Reply)
Smashing, fuck of now mgt

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:17, Reply)
:) :(

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:17, Reply)
A bull attacking druid?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:23, Reply)
A bull attacking druid!
A bull attacking druid!
A bull a bull
A bull attacking druid!
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:26, Reply)
mgt posting
a nonconformist haiku
really much too long
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:33, Reply)
IT'S A DANCE
do keep up Drimble
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:34, Reply)
it's like the weirdest, loneliest ho-down the world has ever seen

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:36, Reply)
you ain't even seen it,
so shut up, and don't call me a ho
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:38, Reply)
unhappy dance time

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:43, Reply)
\o\ /o\ /o/

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:48, Reply)
dunno what you're apologising to me for

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:10, Reply)
You don't live on the most superior island on this planet so you may be upset

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:13, Reply)
"most superior island" is like "most prestigious sewer"

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:15, Reply)
^
v
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:19, Reply)
it's true,
none of us live in Greenland
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:16, Reply)
I heard mongychops knows about this sort of thing, you should send him a gaz.

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:13, Reply)
I can't imagine how he'd get online tho,

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:16, Reply)
Getting gradually infuriated while clumsily poking a wee smartphone screen with his Cumberland-sausage fingers, I spect.

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:18, Reply)
I use my thumb, image that, oh haha

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 22:00, Reply)
I'm imaging it as hard as I can.

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 22:06, Reply)
that's a very good price for bt line rental

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:17, Reply)
I don't even a phone

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:58, Reply)
I hear good things about CompuServe

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 0:10, Reply)
my farts smell really sweet today,
must be all those bourbon creams
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:30, Reply)
You probably sat your fat arse down on a beehive, you honey-sphinctered bee murderer

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:33, Reply)
My broadband has been cut off, apparently, orange don't do home broad now unless you have a landline or mobile with them, wank

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:37, Reply)
Orange are a bunch of French wankers and you shouldn't give them a penny
They only spend it on subsidising lazy fuck farmers who burn tyres instead of immigrants at Calais.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:39, Reply)
That's right, illegal immigration is the fault of Europe's Common Agricultural Policy

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:39, Reply)
Not sure how this fixes my broadband issues

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:50, Reply)
bastards
is that even legal?
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:39, Reply)
Dunno, they cut all services on the 24th, I got the lad to look at my account, since free serve 94

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:41, Reply)
Orange is not the only broadband provider.

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:14, Reply)
My dad's on wanadoo still which is orange, he doesn't have a landline with them but hasn't been cut off.

(, Tue 4 Aug 2015, 0:05, Reply)
Pills o'clock again?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:40, Reply)
i'll give you pills in a minute,
i'll pills you
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:41, Reply)
pilling in the name of

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:43, Reply)
pill and mgt's excellent adventure

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:44, Reply)
HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THIS SCHOOL'S HEADTEACHER
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2791261/ban-black-country-slang-improved-reading-writing-claims-controversial-primary-school-sparked-anger-pulling-pupils-local-dialect.html
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:52, Reply)
He may be Batman

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:56, Reply)
his punctuation is dreadful though,
looking at that letter.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:57, Reply)
Soz no broad band

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:59, Reply)
hiding in plain sight, whoever would suspect

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:58, Reply)
Good Pill Hunting

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:51, Reply)
the plls have 'i's

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:05, Reply)
they should have e's, surely
or little mitsubishi logos
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:09, Reply)
pells?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:12, Reply)
back once again
with the pill behaviour with the pill behaviour with the pill behaviour with the pill behaviour with the pill behaviour with the pill behaviour with the pill behaviour with the pill behaviour
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 22:17, Reply)
oh no...
OH GOD NO
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:52, Reply)
The gurning pube-lipped idiot in the spastic t-shirt
tells me everything we need to know about this sport.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:53, Reply)
the caption even says 'a mong'

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:55, Reply)
School kids and students, of which frisbee prick is neither

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:58, Reply)
I blame gay marriage

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:56, Reply)
my dad's girlfriend's ex-husband is gay
and I've never seen him chuck a frisbee anywhere
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:02, Reply)
Perhaps he's a receiver

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:06, Reply)
ha, nice

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:08, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7832630
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:21, Reply)
a guy i used to know at college 'came out' to us one day in the cafeteria, surprising no-one
now, years later, he goes on facebook and talks a lot about being a tory, which enrages everyone
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:10, Reply)
I don't see what's so bad about being a Tory

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:13, Reply)
you monster

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:25, Reply)
Torys don't have any defined policies; they're as practically non-ideological as it gets
Voting any other way is a vote against common sense.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:28, Reply)
What the blithering fuck are you on about, man?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 15:00, Reply)
he's taking the piss
or he's had a lobotomy
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 15:06, Reply)
man that's about the bullest shit i've ever seen,
it is, however, what they believe about themselves.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 15:05, Reply)
I'm just looking at my parents' constituency
which hasn't changed an iota in 30 years. Based on that, the Tories are like the political Amish or something.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 16:14, Reply)
pretty sure the Amish are fairly ideological

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 16:25, Reply)
I think he's referring to the general tendency of the Conservatives
to keep things as they are... or put them back how they bloody well used to be when everything was brilliant.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 17:00, Reply)
pretty sure that's ideological as well.
certainly their austerity policy is, it really makes no economic sense at all.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 17:26, Reply)
I've never had it so good

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 17:32, Reply)
It's working perfectly well you drug-addled harridan, I'm the richest I've ever been.

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 17:50, Reply)
I'd like to see interest rates go up, I'd be even richer then

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 17:54, Reply)
no thanks mongy, I've got a mortgage the size of janet's arse.

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 18:06, Reply)
So us pensioners suffer? Disgusting

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 18:31, Reply)
makes perfect sense to me, clearly you are still on massive drugs

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 17:48, Reply)
it's all about keeping the working classes in their place,
and that is ideological.

You can't escape ideology, really. Anyone who says they're not ideological is either lying or lacking in self-awareness. Because whenever you say something is pragmatic, it has to be to some end; there's got to be a point to it, some intended outcome.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 19:22, Reply)
Having an idea or a distinct aim is very different from having an ideology
but you'd know that, you argumentative monster
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:32, Reply)
ideology
1. A system of ideas and ideals, especially one which forms the basis of economic or political theory and policy:

www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/ideology
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 20:35, Reply)
yeah, a SYSTEM of ideas
not a single idea.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:15, Reply)
pretty sure the Tories have a system

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 21:52, Reply)
I would never be a tory but I happily vote for them. Somebody has to stick up for the white upper-middle class.

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 17:41, Reply)
I'm white working class I just don't like spastics or the poor

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 17:53, Reply)
Or coons, poofs, chavs, endangered animals and fat chicks

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 17:56, Reply)
They should do a sit-com where a family of fat endangered black poof spastic chicks moves in next door to you.

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 18:15, Reply)
I fucking hate dogs, perhaps a dog rescue center too

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 18:32, Reply)
oh fucking GREAT
Right, if Adam ends up on some olympic team next year I'm joining Al Qaeda
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:16, Reply)
assuming they have an olympic squad, obvs

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:18, Reply)
I'd like to see that turned into a film
like Cool Runnings. Or Space Jam.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:20, Reply)
I'm thinking beach volleyball
maybe archery
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:31, Reply)
thing is, we always focused on the fact that it's a bullshit 'sport' for pricks
the truth is, he's probably shit at it

but you should join al qaeda anyway. i hear the dental plan is great
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:23, Reply)
I like the head scarf things
I'd wear those all the time if it wasn't for the fact that I'd almost certainly get beaten up
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:32, Reply)
wear one with your new tshirt and go for a stroll through buckland

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 15:08, Reply)
I know what you're trying to do
but I think I'd be safe. I think that my look would be SO provocative, that it would confuse the tiny buckland mind, therefore leaving me unharmed.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 15:14, Reply)
maybe, i had skinheads throwing apples at me there though

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 16:10, Reply)
Apples?
You should've caught them and said thank you
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 16:22, Reply)
"The sport is particularly popular among school and university students "
school and university students needy fucking spastics
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:46, Reply)
I remember people playing this at uni
and taking it very seriously
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:53, Reply)
I mean
i.imgur.com/HHumreN.gif
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:55, Reply)
confound your toll, troll

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 15:07, Reply)
You're upset because there is now yet another olympic sport that you will never be any good at?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 17:39, Reply)
same for you though
until they include ultimate elderly bumhole exploration
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 18:06, Reply)
touché
is what I like to say as I start the examination
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 18:10, Reply)

:-O
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 19:25, Reply)
troy!

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 19:32, Reply)
Yeah, it's a bit rude to make two threads in a row, but I'm just trying to keep this place going
What are you trying to do?
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 11:29, Reply)
Bit of this, bit of that
Actual work, house work, CD burning, dinner prepping...I'm like fucking Kali up in here
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 11:37, Reply)
Who the fuck still burns CDs?
I bet you have a mixtape of your favourite songs on cassette too.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 11:39, Reply)
maybe he's cold and run out of logs?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 11:45, Reply)
Good point, I don't think I've had a shit for three days

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 11:49, Reply)
I mean, I'm sure exactly how many days it's been
since I don't write these things down in a log.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:28, Reply)
keeping a log log would be strange.

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:34, Reply)
There's got to be potential for an app though
When you're on the throne you start the timer, give it a Bristol rating, assign an adjective ("smooth", "stingy", "torrential"), and LOG OUT* when you're done. Get weekly, monthly and yearly reports, and even upload to Dropbox. There's so much potential.

* ahahahaha
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:08, Reply)
You could call it CrApp!

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:30, Reply)
nah, LogLog works fine for me

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:50, Reply)
I'm checking the play store
haven't you made it yet?
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:03, Reply)
My car has a CD player that plays mp3's
So I just make a disc with 100 or so songs on it every month or so. HAPPY?
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:04, Reply)
No
Def Leppard's "Hysteria" album is all the music a car should ever need.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:05, Reply)
Animal is very much the anthem of my 1980's experience
That and Poison by Alice Cooper
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:07, Reply)


(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:22, Reply)
And yes, I could plug a MyPod or similar into it
but I don't have the lead. Also, if my car DOES get broken into, I don't care if they steal my CDs.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:05, Reply)
what are this month's 100 songs?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:12, Reply)
Chakaron Makaron 99 times, followed by Kate Bush's "Wuthering Heights"

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:25, Reply)
I'm only interested in the classics, m8
For instance, Europe's Final Countdown has made its first appearance.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:31, Reply)
We're talking Collins, we're talking Fleetwood Mac
Wall to wall CLASSICS.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:32, Reply)
You got My Sharona on there?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:33, Reply)
I have now, ta

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:35, Reply)
Let's just ignore the whole 'I always get it up for the touch of the younger kind' thing though

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:36, Reply)
The whole song is about fucking a 15 year old

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:48, Reply)
SAYS YOU

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:51, Reply)
I bet you've got Cliff Richard's "Carrie" on there.

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:08, Reply)
I haven't
but I'll consider it for the next volume
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:17, Reply)
Now Hats what Two Calls Music!
Vol 2!
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:50, Reply)
laugh at cakes,
stop interrupting
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 11:38, Reply)
have you suffered a blow to the head?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 11:42, Reply)
suffered?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:38, Reply)
Alright then, enjoyed.

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:56, Reply)
make it look like I'm working
when actually I'm totally not
lol
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 11:41, Reply)
I don't think you even have a job

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:29, Reply)
yeah, sorry
because i'm on my own today, i'm just playing games and watching stuff

i only need this place because the dull grey palette makes it look like it could be work related
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 11:42, Reply)
Nothing and I'm a success

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 11:50, Reply)
how do you spend your days when you're not at the lake?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:29, Reply)
Chilling but I might take up golf

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:32, Reply)
nah, get a passat, more room for your rods

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:33, Reply)
Oh hahaha

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:34, Reply)
and people say car-based topics are dull
we have a right-hand drive laugh here etc
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:58, Reply)
This site would be dead on its Ascari if you stopped posting

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:13, Reply)
I appreciate this

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:49, Reply)
just enough work to stay employed

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 12:33, Reply)
I'm trying and failing to build a website

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:35, Reply)
What's it for?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:50, Reply)
It's either big titted frotting dwarves, or virtual offices

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 14:12, Reply)
shift these squits

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:55, Reply)
Reading MGT's drug-fueled nonsense is a good start to the week
What else helps Mondays be less Mondayish?
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 7:23, Reply)
MORNHOLES

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 7:27, Reply)
a well-timed hole makes any day better

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 7:41, Reply)
well timed a-hole?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:43, Reply)
is that a question or an offer?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:14, Reply)
yes

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:20, Reply)
Tuesday

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 7:56, Reply)
That's quitter's talk
Don't quit Mondays; take control, be the winner you were born to be.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 7:59, Reply)
winner?
are you fucking serious?
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 8:06, Reply)
you need to take control of your life, MONO
utilise the synergies of positive thought and proactivity to break the wall between you and your dreams.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 8:11, Reply)
what the fuck has got into you?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 8:23, Reply)
It's Monday
The day you pluck your red braces from your shirt, pull them forward and release them, then bellow in defiance at the pain that stings your nipples. Pain? YOU EAT PAIN FOR BREAKFAST! You will take Monday by the horns and make it your bitch, and the world will love you for it so that when the day is done and night has fallen on your mighty feats, then Tuesday's dawn will be your hero's welcome.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 8:25, Reply)
I have no idea what you're talking about

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 8:27, Reply)
Give Monday a chance
Make it count.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 8:27, Reply)
:'(

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 8:32, Reply)
Or sit at home in your pants eating Wotsits, I don't care

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 8:37, Reply)
:(

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 8:43, Reply)
You know how to fix this? Put the "(" before the ":", like this:
(:

All better.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 8:56, Reply)
(:(

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 8:56, Reply)
What a happy bull!

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:00, Reply)
hey, it's druid!

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:16, Reply)
He'

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 7:56, Reply)
I don't understand this nonsense

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 7:59, Reply)
it's a qotw thing, stay well clear

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:37, Reply)
By grabbing it by the ballbag and punching it in its stupid fucking face

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 8:31, Reply)
This is the response I'd expect from an up-and-coming go-getter in this dog-eat-shark world
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/en.futurama/images/8/8b/ThatGuy.jpg
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 8:33, Reply)
If not me, who? If not now, WHEN?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 8:34, Reply)
And while my thoughts go out to Cilla Black's family
I'm not looking forward to the cucking scousers whining about it for the next 20 years.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 8:34, Reply)
I hope they make a copper statue of her in Liverpool
and employ someone to constantly polish the hair to stop it turning green.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 8:35, Reply)
She was a bona fide national treasure,
but everything she's famous for (Surprise Surprise, Blind Date, her horrendous voice) is rubbish.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:09, Reply)
I'm trying to think of other redheads who would make Blind Date better
I'd love to watch a version hosted by Anne Robinson.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:12, Reply)
At least the remaining contestants would go home crying

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:33, Reply)
any excuse to handle a sack, eh?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:16, Reply)
well you get bored of your own, don't you

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:19, Reply)
try using the other hand

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:54, Reply)
Dunno, thought it was sunday , you live and learn

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:03, Reply)
You must have known, juicers close earlier on Sundays

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:09, Reply)
I was going to say that being on holiday takes the sting out of a Monday,
but as I've got to cycle to the shops in the rain, I'm not feeling so smug anymore.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:06, Reply)
You can cycle through a big puddle with your legs sticking out
Yelling "Wheeeeeeee!" is also an option.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:10, Reply)
It's pretty hilly here, so I could build up a decent speed, make a big splash,
then cycle home with a wet arse.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:14, Reply)
You need some sort of bicycle with a floor to keep your arse dry
and a roof to stop you getting wet from above
and an engine to make going up hills easier
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:18, Reply)
You might be on to something, here.

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:20, Reply)
Or he could order all his food online like some sort of fat lazy shut-in.

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:34, Reply)
well, i have just had a series of texts and calls to let me know that everyone else in my office is off sick
so i might just lock the door and strut around nude for the day
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:13, Reply)
Make a penis gourd and a hunting spear
and if anyone asks, tell that that you're in mourning for the death of a nation's big-toothed national treasure

Cecil the lion.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:16, Reply)
^ buffalo bill

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:18, Reply)
Wow, everyone?
That really is a blue moon miracle
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:20, Reply)
No, the blue moon was four days ago

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:21, Reply)
It has only just occurred to me this second where the expression 'once in a blue moon' comes from.

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:32, Reply)
you're never too old to learn something new, 2can

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:33, Reply)
Steady on, it was only four months ago that he learned which hole his willy goes in

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:35, Reply)
I'm still not sure on that one
and I have two kids :(
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:37, Reply)
well, the boss had already booked the day off
but the other three all called in sick, AND my line manager is on holiday
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:42, Reply)
I'll be down in 15 minutes

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:44, Reply)
go for it
there's beer in the fridge
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:53, Reply)
WHA???
i.imgur.com/6M0HSxF.jpg
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:00, Reply)
For those who don't understand
jelly.b3ta.com/talk/7831652
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:01, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7801572
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:03, Reply)
The effort some people go to to make me look foolish

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:04, Reply)
i felt bad after the 'yodelling pickle' incident

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:06, Reply)
we ALL felt bad about that

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:09, Reply)
Gilgamesh, King Zog, Bored of that now, Birds Eye
How many names for Frank do you know? Can you name them all?
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:06, Reply)
Wasn't there a 'Haha Yeah' or similar?

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:09, Reply)
sir thomas

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:10, Reply)
crapper

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:11, Reply)
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:05, Reply)
wearing it to work tomorrow
but ONLY because I don't have anything else clean
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:06, Reply)
and you are duty bound by your post

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:11, Reply)
wear it
but nothing else. Let your old boy swing freely through the office
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:14, Reply)
No way
I don't take off my ankle bracelet for ANYONE
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:17, Reply)

wo ca
+for anyone besides my parole officer
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:19, Reply)
:(

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:23, Reply)
does it fit?
i just guessed at the size
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:07, Reply)
haha, you bitch
I shall try it on later
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:09, Reply)
all real men are at least an xl

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:12, Reply)
I bought a basketball jersey in american that's something like XXXXL
but that was more about the length. As most things are.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:13, Reply)
did you get a matching belt and wear it as a dress?
you can find things that are 10XL online. madness
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:23, Reply)
Yeah, it wasn't even the biggest one they had!
I have shirts that Mrs Hats could easily wear as a dress
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:25, Reply)
I'll pop in and give you a hand

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 9:59, Reply)

p o
and give
a
r
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:04, Reply)
damn right

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:07, Reply)
if he can manage without me noticing, i'll be impressed

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 10:12, Reply)
alright fishcake,
not at work today, that makes it significantly less Mondayish.
(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 11:10, Reply)
Jesus H Christ, Family Guy is the worst thing on TV.
And my wife watches ITV Be.
(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:44, Reply)
I only found out what ITV Be was a couple of weeks ago
a lad I've known since he was 3 is starring in a show on the channel. I'd say it is worse than Family Guy.
(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 23:17, Reply)
ITV Be Up Your Wurzel Tree
and BBC Be After He
(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 23:59, Reply)
These new drugs sound fucking fantastic

(, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 0:02, Reply)
guess what?

(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:20, Reply)
do you have a moustache?

(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:29, Reply)
no...

(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:30, Reply)
TAITY POT
ffs
(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:31, Reply)
are you wearing a hat?

(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:32, Reply)
i am massaging saddle soap into my pendulous leathery teats

(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:34, Reply)
well this belongs on the populol page

(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:35, Reply)
this place would be dead on its arse if i stopped posting

(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:36, Reply)
Seems highly inappropriate for a children's game.

(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:37, Reply)
why?

(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:34, Reply)
no dr pepper you just said it

(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:35, Reply)
What?

(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:35, Reply)
TAITY POT
TAI
TY
POT
(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:37, Reply)
What?

(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:46, Reply)
PO
TAY
TOES
(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:52, Reply)
Potatoes?

(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:55, Reply)
Our holiday cottage has flooded.
Luckily, it's the lower ground floor that's flooded, so my bedroom and bathroom are untouched.

I must apologise for my failure to live blog this getaway.
(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 21:51, Reply)
yeah if it was upstairs that was flooded and downstairs was fine,
that would just be weird.
(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 21:59, Reply)
or if the ceiling were flooded,
so you just had to crouch down all the time
(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:06, Reply)
When we lived in a 1st floor maisonette, the water tank in the loft sprang a leak.
I awoke to find it raining in my lounge.
The family downstairs were away for the week, so they came back to find their home in a bit of a state.
(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:21, Reply)
oops

(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:21, Reply)
Yeah.
Everything was a bit frosty, after that.
(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:25, Reply)
More soggy than frosty, I'd have thought?

(, Sun 2 Aug 2015, 22:34, Reply)

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