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4/7 this week
bono can go fuck himself

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-34133617
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:52, Reply)
2/7
my scores may be shit, but they're consistent
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:55, Reply)
you are consistently disappointing, so well done for that

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:07, Reply)
stop trying to live vicariously through me then
I'm not here to compensate for your own failures
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:17, Reply)
i just want you to be the best 'you' you can be

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:21, Reply)
I can only be the me I am
any other me wouldn't be me, would it.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:22, Reply)
there you go, excusing yourself of putting any effort in, again

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:24, Reply)
I put in as much effort to be me as is feasibly possible
and I'm not sorry that it doesn't meet your unreasonable expectations. Maybe you should lead by example.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:30, Reply)
i am a beacon of hope for this forum

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 11:01, Reply)

con ker
of hope
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 11:03, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 11:15, Reply)
5/7

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:57, Reply)
I hate Bono and everything associated with that dickhead

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:00, Reply)
^SS EXPRESS HATES STARVING AFRICANS

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:04, Reply)
defo

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:05, Reply)
They have to walk miles to get clean water and basic health care
They won't do it though will they, the lazy little cunts
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:07, Reply)
those wankers just want it handed to them
fucking pricks
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:10, Reply)
You know who I feel sorry for?
The remaining members of the fucking Boomtown Rats! I don't see Lenny Henry and fucking Jonathan Ross raising money for those poor cunts!
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:12, Reply)

and
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:32, Reply)
Now THAT I'd pay to see

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:36, Reply)
do you reckon ross is a power bottom?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:42, Reply)
He definitely gets dildo buggered by his missus.
Definitely.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:50, Reply)
those starving africans should get a job, then they could afford some food

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:06, Reply)
let them eat cock!

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:09, Reply)
as in chicken, or genitals?
as a job, i'd imagine one of those options pays more
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:11, Reply)
I can't believe historians think that being a psychotic despot is a bad thing.

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:00, Reply)
it's just judging the past's heroes by today's standards, which isn't fair
People forget that back in the 16th century, abandoning the Pope's decrees for personal gain wasn't so much frowned upon as actively encouraged.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:04, Reply)
information technology?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:05, Reply)
this made more sense before grrry edited his post
he's such a disappointment
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:09, Reply)
yeah surely they'd be out of a job if people were all nice and that in the olden days

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:08, Reply)
haha, like historians have jobs

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:23, Reply)
That Jewish fella on the telly seems to be doing ok.

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:38, Reply)
4/7

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:06, Reply)
give yourself a pat on the back

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:08, Reply)
I will, thanks!
Although I might save it for later. Bit busy at the mo
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:09, Reply)
I can come round and pat you on the back
I can only pat you if you are shirtless though
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:11, Reply)
Won't be a problem
I'm rarely clothed these days
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:13, Reply)
yeth, Two Hat'th houthe ith alwayth open to guethtth

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:31, Reply)
Jesus
You've really embraced Dadness, haven't you
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:36, Reply)
the little cunt had better appreciate my large stool pun when it's old enough

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:39, Reply)
3 for me
what a shit week
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:13, Reply)
What's with all these toys these days that are controlled by a smart device?
My kids want the toys, but don't have a smart phone or tablet. And I'm fucked if they're using mine.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:30, Reply)
WTFAYBOA?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:32, Reply)
The new star wars robot needs a smart phone to control it
and there was another one (same sort of thing) that we saw in Hamley's last year. What's wrong with old fashioned radio controls, eh?
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:35, Reply)

www.polygon.com/2015/4/20/8459083/star-wars-bb8-toy
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:38, Reply)
Mine have a tablet each. You're clearly a horrible bully parent who hates his kids.

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:39, Reply)
clearly

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:40, Reply)
I hope they say mean things about you in the playground.

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:49, Reply)
"Oh no Lucille, you smashed your tablet!"
"It's ok," said Miss Shambolic, "Daddy will just buy me another one. Expensive gifts are suitable compensation for the loveless home environment in which I've been raised."
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 11:05, Reply)
They only cost a couple of hundred quid.
Or however many million Soviet potato tokens that is.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 11:20, Reply)
yeah, i understand it as a whizzy extra but it prolly shouldn't be the main way to use it

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:43, Reply)
5/7
nicely mediocre
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:18, Reply)
bingo

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:24, Reply)
i can hear bingo being played somewhere in the office
this place is a holiday camp
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:28, Reply)

i o
played read
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:37, Reply)
3/7 :/
/ac
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:41, Reply)
2/7
It's like I live in a fog of booze and drugs and pay no attention to the world around me or something.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:48, Reply)
good toimes!

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:56, Reply)
Is off the topics completely dead now?
What's the shitmod going to do for kicks? Leave passive aggressive notes on the company fridge?
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 11:22, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 7:20, Reply)
Hello, Grrry.
I trust this fine morning finds you well?
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 7:45, Reply)
yes
the sun has finally left, and the soft cool embrace of wet clouds and the drizzle falling from them has finally come to Warsaw, to ease the drought and wash the dust from our weary bones.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 7:47, Reply)
Our central heating went back on, yesterday.

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 7:56, Reply)
Blimey, really?
We've still got all our windows open
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:08, Reply)
so that you can savour the sweet smell of your lawn?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:10, Reply)
among other reasons

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:16, Reply)
you pansy

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:14, Reply)
you tropical fruit

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:31, Reply)
What an ultra maroon!

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:58, Reply)
sup ya'll

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 7:47, Reply)
word

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 7:47, Reply)
word up

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 7:57, Reply)
Go run backwards naked through a field of dicks

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 7:55, Reply)
Horses dicks?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 7:57, Reply)
whatever dicks you prefer

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:04, Reply)
I'm not re-enacting your Kevin Costner porn fantasies for you

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 7:58, Reply)
Oh but you are

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:05, Reply)
Postman or Civil War soldier today?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:13, Reply)
Waterworld strikethrough sports

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:47, Reply)
That's my Uncle's favourite film
Closely followed by Enemy Mine
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:54, Reply)
gosh

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:55, Reply)
I think he's only seen those two films

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:58, Reply)
I wanted Enemy Mine to be about open cast pit where they dig out baddies.

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:04, Reply)
What a strange film that would be
Apart from anything else, why would anyone want to deliberately harvest enemies?
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:06, Reply)
so you can kill them and get more xp

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:07, Reply)
Ah. now you're talking my language

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:11, Reply)
Turns out that an ancient galactic civilisation froze its criminals in something like carbonite and buried them
so that they could never again be let loose on the galaxy, and the civilisation passed away into the mists of time but an explorer found a relic that revealed the location of the baddie repository and started excavating it, not really knowing what he was unleashing, and it set off a chain reaction so now someone (probably Kurt Russell) has to go in and shut down the Enemy Mine.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:08, Reply)
Amazing
How much will you need to get this off the ground? I think we should get that Kate Mara involved. She's not really broken Hollywood yet, but I see potential there.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:12, Reply)
She can be the dopey twat that uncovers a broken interstellar drone and reactivates it
which guides her and the explorer to the asteroid or moon or whatever where the Enemy Mine is, so it's all her fucking fault.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:14, Reply)
Yes yes, that's good
One question: Would she need to be nude at any point?
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:15, Reply)
she's blatantly going to be captured by one of the baddies and dressed up to serve as his concubine, yeah

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:17, Reply)
excellent

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:18, Reply)
*googles*
Oh, it's Zoe from House Of Cards. Hmm, she's a bit baby-faced, alright if you like that sort of thing.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:27, Reply)
No, I prefer people who look older than they are

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:30, Reply)
So...
...you doing anything tonight?
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:35, Reply)
I'll put the kettle on

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:39, Reply)
Careful now, or you'll be hearing from L. Rob Hubbard's army of genetically engineering attack-lawyers.

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:26, Reply)
Somewhere on a dusty workstation in the Materials Science department of Birmingham university
there is a full copy of the $!&tology secrets. And several filthy German grot movies. And a detailed beginners guide to bestiality.

We were testing The Internet.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:30, Reply)
In retrospect I wish I'd wasted more time reading the secrets.
I'm not sure when I'll have need for the best methods for restraining horses during cunnilingus.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:31, Reply)
That's a transferable skill right there, and you never know when you might need to retrain in today's dynamic job market.

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:37, Reply)
Morning, I'm off to Rome today!

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 7:58, Reply)
I hope it rains monkey shit

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:05, Reply)
When in Rome do as the Romans.
Dunno. Shit in a trough and crucify somebody or sutin.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:07, Reply)
fucking immigrant

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:07, Reply)
Go to the colosseum at night
that's when the cool teenagers hang around it insulting tourists in Italian.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:41, Reply)

cool teenagers hang around it insulting tourists in Italian. exhibits all come to life and Ben Stiller gets chased by a statue of Caesar
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:43, Reply)
that as well
a tiny steve coogan runs after you
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:44, Reply)
a tiny steve coogan would still be a massive cunt

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:51, Reply)
I just thought you should know, I clicked 'I Like This'

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:12, Reply)
I'm trying to sing this along to Stevie Wonder

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:14, Reply)
Good lord, why?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:15, Reply)
I just wrote
to say
"I like this"
(boop be-doop)
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:16, Reply)
and you clicked it
from the button
of your mouse
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:18, Reply)
I like this a lot
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOG46EHXKkw
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:19, Reply)
the Elvis one is just wonderful

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:22, Reply)
fucking hell, i just watched it and nearly choked

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:39, Reply)
Have you seen the Dancing in the Street one?
That one almost killed me first time I saw it
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:40, Reply)
yeah, i watched that one afterwards
those two are the best i've seen
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:41, Reply)
morning chuckles

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:06, Reply)
to me?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:09, Reply)
to you

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:13, Reply)
Muning

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:09, Reply)
a-licky-boom-boom down

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:11, Reply)
may you forever be lucky in equine unions

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:13, Reply)
Canadian hiphop at its finest

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:14, Reply)
Swollen Members were from Canada
I wonder if they're still going, they were great.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:46, Reply)
informer?
i hardly knew 'er
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:16, Reply)
I'm looking forward to his follow up

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:19, Reply)
I Hate You So Fuckin Much I Ain't Had a Shit Since Sunday?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:22, Reply)
^SPOILER ALERT

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:23, Reply)

P
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:35, Reply)
*applauds*

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:39, Reply)
alright

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:22, Reply)
alright mongy

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:22, Reply)
yer alright, you?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:25, Reply)
Yeah

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:48, Reply)
shit and rubbish

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:34, Reply)
Such negativity

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:51, Reply)
bit warm in here

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:31, Reply)
I've just noticed the number inbetween the candles
Has that always been there?
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:34, Reply)
Wait, it's not a number
I assumed you'd been here 8 years or saink
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:39, Reply)
Who am I talking to?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:39, Reply)
prick

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:40, Reply)
wanker

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:42, Reply)
^upset

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:43, Reply)
6 years 11 months and 29 days actually

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:06, Reply)
So, it's NOT your birthday?
And yet the mods do nothing
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:13, Reply)
hey, i sang him a song

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:25, Reply)
there's no number it's just the fucking glow from the candles you div

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:40, Reply)
glow?
hells bells
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:42, Reply)
aw, are you getting confused again

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:06, Reply)
What button?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:10, Reply)
just head on over to shelbyville to get an onion for your belt

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:18, Reply)
tangles it's your b3rthday, happy b3rthday tangles
we wish you love and goodwill
we wish you praise and joy
we wish you better than your heart desires
and your first kiss from a boy
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:09, Reply)
thanks michael
I wonder who that boy will be
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:33, Reply)
it's MONO

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:40, Reply)
the Milhouse of /talk

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:02, Reply)
this is perfect

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 10:14, Reply)
Friday! Who's coming to the pub?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:33, Reply)
fuck off

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:46, Reply)
Cant I've work to do... oh hahahaha

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:50, Reply)
don't you want to take up something productive with your free time?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:55, Reply)
I do

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:21, Reply)
I'll see you in the shit pub near my son's piano lesson about 3.30 yeah?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:04, Reply)
Sounds PERFECT!

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:06, Reply)
what makes a pub shit?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:09, Reply)
liquxortives

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:11, Reply)
sorry, that was appallingly done

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:11, Reply)
Castlemaine laXXXXatives?

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:12, Reply)
lax daniels

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:13, Reply)
I can see why pubs would need laxatives
they do have particularly large stools.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:15, Reply)


(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:16, Reply)

 
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:19, Reply)


(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:34, Reply)


(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:50, Reply)
round here?
m&b and their insistence that working class people should have shit things because they are shit
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:37, Reply)
with you? nobody i assume

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:10, Reply)
wee wee bum bum

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:41, Reply)
Uh oh, here he is!

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:42, Reply)
SO VERY VERY RUDE

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:53, Reply)
Get with the times, grandad
This is how all the kids talk these days
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 8:59, Reply)
I don't have to like it.
Things were better in the old days. It may seem quaint to you younguns but back then you "pissed" up a goat "cunt" like a dirty little "prick" rind.
(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:07, Reply)
shit and rubbish

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:10, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:20, Reply)
alright willenium

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:37, Reply)
alright willenium

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:40, Reply)
alright willenium

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:50, Reply)
alright willenium

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 9:55, Reply)
Time gentlemen please.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 23:51, Reply)
I dare you.
i.imgur.com/vycl3SE.jpg
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 23:55, Reply)
citation needed

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 0:39, Reply)
Gaylord.

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 0:09, Reply)
guylord

(, Fri 4 Sep 2015, 0:56, Reply)
what a'gwan?
(that means 'hi guys what's happening?' in super-cool Jamaican reggae slang, at which I am naturally a whizz)
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 18:49, Reply)
I've had an absolute gaylord of a day
and to cap it all I'm sat opposite the dead spit of Peter Noone.

Coincidence? ???
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 18:51, Reply)
Is he drinking train cans as well?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 19:11, Reply)
cooking some pasta mon

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 19:11, Reply)
pasta mouse

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 19:14, Reply)
I had forgotten about that show.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 19:17, Reply)
yoffy lifts fusilli

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 19:27, Reply)
kick off's in 30 minutes, let's get behind the team

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 19:13, Reply)
you can't say "guys" it's patriarchy

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 19:19, Reply)
You're misgendering the moon.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 19:21, Reply)
him a full half idiot man gal

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 19:49, Reply)
My mate got a new kettle today, it's shit, and rubbish and im not at all jelly coz it's stunning

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 19:28, Reply)
any update on your pub colleague and his nicked rolex?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 19:39, Reply)
Its in geneva, he ain't getting that back

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 20:13, Reply)
hey gang!
wales are now officially better at football than england, what else is wales better at than england?
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:39, Reply)
sheep

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:41, Reply)
deep-seated loathing of the English

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:42, Reply)
i think england is equally as good there

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:46, Reply)
forgive my ignorance in sporting matters, but isn't being better than England at something not necessarily that good?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:50, Reply)
well, england are currently the 10th best football team in the world
wales are the 9th best football team in world
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:52, Reply)
how many teams are there?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:53, Reply)
8

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:53, Reply)
4

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:54, Reply)
209

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:59, Reply)
I think what tangled is trying to say is
isn't being better than a mong at drooling still being a bit shit?
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:53, Reply)
I think they call it 'dribbling' in football

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:55, Reply)
a rose by any other name

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:56, Reply)
I dribbled into my boxers when I was having a shit the other day.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:58, Reply)
Things just got Super Sexy.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 17:15, Reply)
Sounds about right.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:52, Reply)
being called Jones

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:45, Reply)
5.75% of the population in wales has the surname jones, in england it's 0.75%

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:49, Reply)
Thanks, Captain Fact!

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:52, Reply)
thumb

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:14, Reply)
having shit mobile signal

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:50, Reply)
life in general

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:50, Reply)
Singing and resentment.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:52, Reply)
two national pastimes there

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:02, Reply)
The flag has a dragon on it
A fucking dragon!
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:53, Reply)
what's it fucking?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:54, Reply)
you're mum's face, m8e

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:22, Reply)
:D

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:25, Reply)
he walked right into that one, didnt he!

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:26, Reply)
shit off!

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:56, Reply)
I know!
And what it did next will blow your mind!
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:23, Reply)
john poo's best etc etc

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 17:15, Reply)
hard soiled

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 17:26, Reply)
john bepooshi

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 17:26, Reply)
the flag was designed by a teenager who was in to world of warcraft back in 1832

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:03, Reply)
Amazing

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:24, Reply)
dragons are rubbish

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 18:22, Reply)
Blowholes

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:54, Reply)
Their national anthem is alright.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:02, Reply)
they display the words on the advertising boards before wales games now

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:04, Reply)
I'm sure the non-Welsh speakers are very gwlad.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:07, Reply)
that's my favourite bit of the anthem
mumble mumble gwlad! gwlad! mumble mumble something gwlad.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:12, Reply)
I didn't even know you had your own national anthem
what's wrong with god save the queen?
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:22, Reply)
apart from the words and the tune, I mean

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:23, Reply)
I love our national anthem
It's the only song I have on my third party MP3 player. I have it copied on there 4000 times.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:29, Reply)
england doesn't have a national anthem

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:31, Reply)
I'm British, son

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:33, Reply)
britain is an abstract concept

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:49, Reply)
not arguing with that

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:50, Reply)
comedy rap

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:03, Reply)
the thing about newport is that it really is a shit hole

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:05, Reply)
They probably can cut flags with scissors
while the pussy english have to use angle grinders.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:09, Reply)
flags with dragons on

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:14, Reply)
alcoholics

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:17, Reply)
Footballs shit and rubbish

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:18, Reply)
Well we all know that, but give the boy a chance, eh?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:25, Reply)
This weather can fuck off too.
What's the point of being a workshy cunt if it's too cold to sit outside drinking continental lager beer.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 16:26, Reply)
All of that is shit and rubbish

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 17:28, Reply)
old skool style rock'n'roll
Evidence, Wales:
Edmunds, Dave
Stevens, Shakin

Evidence, England:
Kidd, Johnny

2:1 win to Wales
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 18:36, Reply)
Dr Who

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 19:18, Reply)
There's a bloke cleaning our neighbour's windows while a builder cuts flags with an angle grinder on the drive.
What fucking idiots can you see?
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:13, Reply)
just you and grrry hahahaha

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:17, Reply)
They really are shit and rubbish hahaha

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:20, Reply)
^ enjoys shit and rubbish

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:23, Reply)
I believe you've pointed that out on more than one occasion

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:38, Reply)
when have I ever called anything you like rubbish?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:40, Reply)
Its your mo, I'm sure there are plenty of examples, I'm not looking for that shit tho, rubbish

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:46, Reply)
yeah, talking bollocks as usual mongy
you can't blag yourself out of this one
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:47, Reply)
OK whatever, it's all shit anyway, as you well know

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:01, Reply)
Well this seems unnecessarily cruel.
:(
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:26, Reply)
none

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:20, Reply)
about 20 idiots sat staring at screens.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:21, Reply)
^works in a mirror shop
jajajajaja
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:26, Reply)
oh YOU!

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:54, Reply)
I thought they'd moved all the call centres to Calcutta.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:28, Reply)
Fucksake Sam, it's not spelled 'Calcutta' these days, that's considered colonialist.
It's spelled 'Curryville'.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:56, Reply)
No way man.
I watched the lesbian off of the cake programme doing a tour of it yesterday and even the currystanis call it Calcutta when they're talking proper English.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:05, Reply)
(I know - it's only self-righteous white prats with a point to prove that spell it 'Kolkotta'.)

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:07, Reply)
Dicks.
It's obviously কলকাতা
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:10, Reply)
Well that's easy for you to say.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:25, Reply)
What the fuck is shadowbanning?
Sounds shit. And rubbish.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:25, Reply)
shadowbanning is something places like reddit use
where the person gets globally ignored but can still make comments, which no-one can see. The person doesn't know they've been shadowbanned, so continues making posts which no-one else can read.

Our Project Manager just implemented this policy for one of our outspoken and annoying developers.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:31, Reply)
Oh I see
Like when Frank was sandboxed
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:32, Reply)
Yeah, but Frank knew he'd been sandboxed
The key here seems to be that the person doesn't know they've been shadowbanned, for maximum passive aggressiveness.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:33, Reply)
right

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:35, Reply)
only another two years three months til he's free
b3ta.com/calendar/event/24796
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:35, Reply)
*ties yellow ribbon*

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:37, Reply)
I can see a bloke who still lives with his mum and plays with yo-yos

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:34, Reply)
I tried buying a yo-yo for my son once
Went into a shop and asked if they had any. The guy showed me one for 60. He registered the shock on my face, then attempted to belittle me because I didn't know who the world champion yo-yoer was (whose name was emblazoned on this thing). It was, all-in-all, a very unpleasant experience.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:37, Reply)
haha you don't even know that!

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:38, Reply)
I felt like a right cunt, tangled
a right cunt
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:38, Reply)
He actually smirked
Well, it was more of a snort really. I was nonplussed, to say the least.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:39, Reply)
tell you what, in that situation I'd be plussed
I'd be very fucking plussed, and no mistake.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:40, Reply)
as is your prerogative

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:41, Reply)
'member when coke put out some branded yo-yos in about '89 and renamed them spinners?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:41, Reply)
Ah, those were the days
There were 100's of those things around. I don't think I knew a single person who didn't have at least one.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:42, Reply)
I think I had a sprite one

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:44, Reply)
weren't they the ones with the clutch spindle that let them spin for ages before going back up?
Which is why they weren't really yoyos.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:43, Reply)
there's no way you'd ever get caught out by snorty guy in the yoyo shop is there

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:45, Reply)
Of course there is
I'm just reading the yoyo wiki page and apparently all yoyos are supposed to spin at the bottom. I obviously had shit cheap yoyos as a kid.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:46, Reply)
lol povvo yoyo

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:48, Reply)
Yovvo

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:49, Reply)
You'll never guess what they call a yoyo in Germany

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:50, Reply)
JaJa?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:53, Reply)
JoJo!

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:54, Reply)
Mein gott

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:58, Reply)
TRY WALKING THE DOG WITHOUT A CLUTCH SPINDLE
not to mention Round the World
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:48, Reply)
this is definitely a sex thing

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:55, Reply)
well yeah

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:57, Reply)
I'll clutch your spindle IYKWIMAITYD

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:11, Reply)
I do!

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:11, Reply)
Was it Duncan? That used to be on yo yos

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:39, Reply)
Nah, not Duncan
It was some american cunt. Backwards cap, tattoos and that. Wanker.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:41, Reply)
earns millions touring the world with his skills

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:43, Reply)
cunt
www.yoyoplay.com/yoyojam-phenom-alexis-jv-special-ed-yoyo/
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:47, Reply)
he's a dreamboat!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhqhTDKozOs
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:49, Reply)
what a worthwhile endeavour

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:54, Reply)
just bought two
cheers
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:52, Reply)
once for each hand, right?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:55, Reply)
nah, I just didn't want anyone else to have them
prolly throw them in the bin when they arrive.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:56, Reply)
lolwut?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:57, Reply)
£94 for a yo-yo, someone is off their fucking nut m8

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:59, Reply)
I'm in the wrong business, m8

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:00, Reply)
I told you diablos were dead in the water m8, but would you listen?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:05, Reply)
time will tell on that one, m8

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:08, Reply)
i reckon you'll win the lottery this weekend m8

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:11, Reply)
defo
My numbers are looking VERY healthy
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:12, Reply)
although I just checked the website and the jackpot is pretty pathetic
I'm pretty sure they used to go above 10mill a week.
I haven't done the lottery in years.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:12, Reply)
I'm a failure at everything
including life
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:13, Reply)
but you're winning at failure! Do you see?
It's still a win!
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:17, Reply)
yes!

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:19, Reply)
I got a perfectly decent one for a fiver. I can do tricks and ting.
You obviously have "mug" all over your face.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:07, Reply)
obviously

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:09, Reply)
From my desk window I look straight into a gym opposite.
So everyone in there really.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:37, Reply)
It's a school gym and you wank to five year olds in their vest and pants.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:09, Reply)
are you watching me?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 15:19, Reply)
My office just shadowbanned one of our colleagues who never shuts up
When has the internet crept into your real life?
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:12, Reply)
Is this a LARPing reference?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:13, Reply)
I have a friend who is friends with EVERYONE on facebook and he keeps having ex-/talkers on there

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:18, Reply)
Ok my round, what are you having?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:46, Reply)
Got any stout?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:47, Reply)
I think there's some Guinness in the cupboard, my wife uses it to make cakes.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:48, Reply)
You must miss proper beer.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:49, Reply)
desperately
Poland went from mass-produced lager piss to overhopped pale ales without going through anything drinkable in between.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:53, Reply)
You must miss proper women.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:00, Reply)
no more than you do.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:01, Reply)
I live with four French women.
What I miss is sitting in my greyest pants eating a pan of mince in front of Ceefax.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:04, Reply)
French women are rubbish

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:10, Reply)
You must miss having testicles
or opinions of your own
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:12, Reply)
I'm allowed opinions.
My youngest is allowed to call me a "fucking idiot". Parenting is all about compromise.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:16, Reply)
some eckies and a power wank would do

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:48, Reply)
bit early for that isn't it? You'll be coming down by teatime

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:50, Reply)
Best stockpile some Vaseline if it affects you anything like how it affects me.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:55, Reply)
just a diet coke thanks
x
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:51, Reply)
I'm afraid I don't feel comfortable ordering that.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:55, Reply)
Café latte

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:56, Reply)
bit gay m8ate

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:58, Reply)
shit and rubbish infact

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:59, Reply)
I'll see if they can put a little pink cocktail umbrella in it.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:59, Reply)

tail umbrella
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:00, Reply)
That's really gonna piss off everyone else at the bar you selfish prick.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:58, Reply)
Good, they are shit, I won't even drink it

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:00, Reply)
That's shitter than rubbish. Rubbishitter, if you will.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:59, Reply)
I no

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:01, Reply)
Can I have two bitter shandies and then a confusing conversation about why it costs over 8 quid?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:58, Reply)
I couldn't even be bothered to get involved in that, its shit

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:01, Reply)
You should wait until it's over and then just say it's shit and rubbish.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:03, Reply)
People who don't know how pubs work are shit and rubbish

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:11, Reply)
"8 quid! Are you brewing it on site?! Fackin' hell!"

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:03, Reply)
Tell you what, I'll get you a pint of Greene King IPA and a pint of lemonade and you can go cunt yourself in the fuck with them.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:03, Reply)
I wouldn't waste good lemonade by mixing it with GK IPA.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:04, Reply)
what's that stupid mixture you northerners drink, brown and blond or some shit like that
A Lancastrian asked me once and took great offence when I didn't have a fucking clue what he was mooing on about.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:03, Reply)
"Mixed" is bitter and mild but nobody has drunk that since the 1980s.
I've seen somebody order Guinness and lager once but I think he was just a prick.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:06, Reply)
I want to try that now but not in front of anyone.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:09, Reply)
I'm like that about alien egg insertion.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:19, Reply)
I've seen Guinness and cider mixed.
The mere thought makes me feel queasy.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:34, Reply)
"poor man's black velvet"

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:43, Reply)
I had Guinness and Lucozade once
as an idiot teen
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:45, Reply)
You fucking prick.
/ac
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:48, Reply)
Light and bitter, or light and lager, not good value as it was 20 years ago

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:07, Reply)
That was it
Some fucking ex-miner tried to order that in a fucking Kentish caravan park. He was lucky to have a choice between Carling and Stella.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:11, Reply)
When I worked in a pub I'd occasionally get fucking twats - generally northerners - asking for a mix of bitter and lager.
Apparently this was called a 'Mickey Mouse'. I can see why.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:31, Reply)
1/3 of a pint of locally brewed craft ale please

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:07, Reply)
any snacks?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:11, Reply)
just a small tin of moustache wax thanks

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:14, Reply)
a 660ml bottle of peroni

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:15, Reply)
I like the 660ml volume.
It's a sensible volume.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:17, Reply)
I would of finished my pint by now

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:21, Reply)
I went for a job interview today
I got the job but turned it down becasue I cannot be trusted around children...

...chase me chase me
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:25, Reply)
I'm sorry but during your absence we assigned the role of "board underachieving beaker with peculiar running paedo schtick" to qftw migrant "baggyfrock"

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:53, Reply)
The underachieving bit upset me the most.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 14:34, Reply)
What's a good new thing that you've discovered?
I'm listening to a few albums released this year that are enjoyable.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:45, Reply)
nothing
every new is shit and rubbish. In that order.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:48, Reply)

i.imgur.com/WLNH0dY.png
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:01, Reply)
good point

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:06, Reply)

www.glastonbridge.co.uk/mrbeanbag/venn.php?A=Shit&B=Rubbish&AB=Rubbish+Shit
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:09, Reply)
i should probably make a front end for that, really

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:13, Reply)
Back end would be more appropriate.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:03, Reply)
Mine's shitter and rubbisher, so ner.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:37, Reply)
I've got a headache, Grrrmachine

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:00, Reply)
DIAGNOSIS: Raised intracranial pressure due to space occupying lesion, probable glioblastoma.
I'm on fire!
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:03, Reply)
cheers

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:06, Reply)
s&r

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:03, Reply)
I'm still trying to discover all the old things that are good

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:15, Reply)
Hello!

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:19, Reply)
Old Jamaica ginger beer is alright

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:27, Reply)
I tried that. I ended up listening to albums by Yes, so I gave up.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:39, Reply)
I draw the line short of that

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:43, Reply)
steady on

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 13:06, Reply)
Both of boudicca's Facebook accounts appear to have been suspended and all her mental messages now just say "this message temporarily removed"
Fucking Facebook won't even let you mock mentals any more. Pricks.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:18, Reply)
why the hell are you still stalking that spastic?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:36, Reply)
what are these enjoyable albums anyway?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:25, Reply)
Anything not by Pink Floyd.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:26, Reply)
quite right, they went rubbish and shit after they dropped the definite article from their name

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:40, Reply)
new releases from Leprous and Ghost, and I'm trying to decide if I like The Gentle Storm or not

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:28, Reply)
these sound like new names to me so I shall look into them, ta

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:39, Reply)
No it's shit and rubbish

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:39, Reply)
you don't know what you're talking about

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:41, Reply)
I don't believe you

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:31, Reply)
MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BUM-BUM FROM OTHER GAY SPAZZES

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:14, Reply)
Hooray, a good old fashioned beaker off

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:15, Reply)
your bad

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:17, Reply)
Doesn't look like mine

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:19, Reply)
Yours is shit and looks like rubbish.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:22, Reply)
Rubbish and shit

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:27, Reply)
^upset

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:25, Reply)
Shit and rubbish

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:26, Reply)
no youn are

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:53, Reply)
my bad

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:16, Reply)
CLASSIC BEETHREETA

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:21, Reply)
what sort of retard puts an N in MMMMEURRGH?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:22, Reply)
a gay spaz who loves it up their bum-bum from other gay spazzes?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:24, Reply)
It's how it's pronounced!

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:24, Reply)
How do you spell it?
I.T! jajajajaja
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:26, Reply)
^^works in it^^

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:29, Reply)
^^lovin' it^^

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:30, Reply)
i am in favour of your new latino laugh

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:30, Reply)
gracias, mama cita

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:33, Reply)
mama shitter MORE LIKE

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:34, Reply)
Oh!

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:34, Reply)
is it more like that?
what proof do you offer?
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:41, Reply)
Your honour, I'd like the jury to examine exhibit C ... yo momma.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:08, Reply)
Clear the court. This evidence will for practical purposes be presented in the car park.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:10, Reply)
Because she's fat.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:11, Reply)
oh, NOW i get it

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:22, Reply)
I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO SEE THE FACEBOOK POSTS YOU MENTIONED EARLIER, FEATURING A MENTAL PERSON
THANK YOU
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:25, Reply)
there isn't really enough mental on this site these days

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:31, Reply)
Agreed
Not your proper actual mental, anyway. Like my Dad always used to say, just because you're mentally ill, doesn't mean you're entertaining.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:36, Reply)
haha, I like your dad

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:43, Reply)
In the wise words of William Burroughs,
"Do not waste your sympathy on the mentally ill: it is a bottomless pit."

Wise, if a little harsh.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 12:02, Reply)
i think that is the official spelling

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:33, Reply)
The OED agrees.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:34, Reply)
I just thought the discussion was getting a little lowbrow.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:24, Reply)
Yeah. But what did you have for breakfast?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:25, Reply)
Something shit and rubbish I imagine

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:28, Reply)
Rubbish, with a light smearing of shit.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:31, Reply)
and more importantly, when?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:29, Reply)
Probably at tea time.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:29, Reply)
unbelievable

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:32, Reply)
a slice of apple at 9.30am

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:30, Reply)
a whole slice?
you porker
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:34, Reply)
I feel guilty

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:35, Reply)
How does guilty feel about that??
jajajajaja
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:39, Reply)
ja que!

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:53, Reply)
bit gay, m8e

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:34, Reply)
I put it on some Ryvita

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:35, Reply)
oh, fair enough

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:39, Reply)
That's so gay it somehow comes back round the other side to straight.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:54, Reply)
I'll go back round your other side IYKWIM

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:11, Reply)
You know what?
I think I do!
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:17, Reply)
ryvita without butter or equivalent lubricant is akin to munching asbestos sheets
which is pretty fucking manly
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:16, Reply)
I've always thought of Ryvita as basically solidified Nordic-Calvinist self-loathing.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:36, Reply)
DIAGNOSIS: anorexia nervosa
You're welcome
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:11, Reply)
now sniff my pee

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:13, Reply)
gaz me

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:28, Reply)
ok whats this about something in my gooch?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:46, Reply)
wind your neck in, m8te

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:47, Reply)

harsh, harsh
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:49, Reply)
yeah steady on, we haven't fully appreciated the Tuesday threads that are still on the board
don't want to knock them off the bottom too soon.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:51, Reply)
exactly, a few more hours and they'll fully mature
like a fine cheese
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:51, Reply)

i shall return to my slavery..... was just trying to kill some pre-breakfast boredom
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:52, Reply)
why haven't you had your fucking breakfast yet?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:53, Reply)

cheese on toast was a warm up, awaiting eggs'n'bacon
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:55, Reply)
i think he must be some sort of jobless

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:56, Reply)
Jobless?
thats a bit cunty.... I work from home, hence the distractions
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:58, Reply)
well cunty is as cunty does, you see

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:04, Reply)
whose bad is that then?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:14, Reply)
mongy's probably

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:17, Reply)
shit and rubbish

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:18, Reply)
so do I
and I've still had my muesli and coffee by 8 sharp. I have some fucking standards, you slovenly heathen
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:11, Reply)
Let's face it:
or an
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:14, Reply)
He comes across as highly employable.
He's probably independently wealthy or sutin.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:59, Reply)

i can live with that
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:02, Reply)
I was definitely not being sarcastic.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:03, Reply)
Apparently it's attached to a needy prick.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:58, Reply)
Ssshhh
you'll scare if off
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:00, Reply)
It's prolly just one of that prick shambolic's troll accounts.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:02, Reply)
ugh
he is the worst
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:10, Reply)
Boudicca just popped up in my Facebook messages.
First saying she loves me then saying she's been ill then saying I must be ill for not responding then wishing I would die.

All in the space of about 24 hours.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:24, Reply)
she is properly mental. post all the messages here so we can have a laugh

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 11:09, Reply)
it attracts me like no other lover

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:06, Reply)

ok, had enough cuntiness... have to work
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:06, Reply)
*straightens your tie*
have a good day, sweetie
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:10, Reply)
But I didn't get to tell you that you are shit and rubbish, oh well, next time

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 10:13, Reply)
morning
tell me
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:27, Reply)
OI
What did grahamsgooch ever do to you?? That being said, he hasn't replied, the fucking stupid fucking cunt.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:27, Reply)
sorry, did I do something to offend?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:28, Reply)
Should be a bannable offence.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:28, Reply)
/links get TURRIBLY upset if people don't reply
they're a funny bunch
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:29, Reply)
They're proper fucking autism.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:29, Reply)
distracted by the smell of cathedral city on toast... my bad

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:41, Reply)
which brand of bread was it?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:41, Reply)

some unbranded german stuff
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:50, Reply)
your bad?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:42, Reply)

for being a total ignorant fucker and not replying...
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:51, Reply)
you know it, his bad

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:51, Reply)
well it's certainly not mine

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:56, Reply)
his a bit shit and rubbish

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:59, Reply)
Lies? Sweet little lies?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:27, Reply)
exactly

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:28, Reply)
Why-y-y-y-y-y you cry, and why you lie-ie-ied to me-eeeeeee

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:28, Reply)
have you heard the beach boys version of that?
I like it
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:34, Reply)
I have not
I shall search for this presently. Thank you.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:37, Reply)
recorded "live" at a beach boys' party

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:38, Reply)
Ah
gotcha
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:44, Reply)
muff guff

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:33, Reply)
I wanna really really really wanna zig-a-zig-ah

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:37, Reply)
Alright Jaysum

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:37, Reply)
ooh chase me
that's something they say, isn't it
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:38, Reply)

jelly.b3ta.com/talk/7838990
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:44, Reply)
racist

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:45, Reply)
mornin
wet as fk here
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:03, Reply)
a/s/l?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:04, Reply)
I wasn't expecting this

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:06, Reply)
this is the one thing you should have been expecting, really

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:08, Reply)
ok, reporting this to the mods

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:11, Reply)
do you expect them to do anything?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:15, Reply)
Depends on which mod picks it up
There is a direct correlation between 'results' and 'hair coverage/ridiculous size/hippiness'
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:19, Reply)
it's the mod credo
first, do no thing
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:19, Reply)
do you mean in graham's gooch, or in an actual geographical location

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:07, Reply)
does his gooch not exist in an actual geographical location? is it some sort of quantum gooch?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:10, Reply)
I'd like to collapse his waveform IYKWIM

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:24, Reply)
have you pissed yourself?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:07, Reply)
what does 'fk' mean?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:10, Reply)
fried krill
it's a speciality dish in Guam
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:11, Reply)
oh, so he's in GUAM
No wonder he's wet
www.weather.com/wx/today/?lat=13.44&lon=144.79&locale=en_GB&temp=c
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:16, Reply)
But...
it feels Like 28
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:17, Reply)
it's a different kind of heat, isn't it
Ooh, it's muggy
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:20, Reply)
flambéed kingfisher
it's a speciality dish in denmark
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:17, Reply)
Aarhus?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:20, Reply)
in the middle of aarstrët?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:21, Reply)
öh hähähä

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:24, Reply)
I was speaking to a mexican colleague via instant messaging a couple of years back
and when he 'laughed' he actually typed jajajajaja. I mean, it makes sense, but I thought it was funny.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:27, Reply)
I find it very hard to believe that you made somebody laugh.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:29, Reply)
^upset

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:29, Reply)

jajajajaja
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:33, Reply)
did he actually type it in italics as well?
sorry, i forget they call them mexalics
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:39, Reply)
in Polish jaja means eggs, but eggs means jokes
so "ale jaja!" means "what eggs!" and "what a joke!" at the same time!
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:50, Reply)
Fortunately this ridiculous idiom is rarely used because they have miserable lives and no sense of humour.
Or eggs.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:58, Reply)

▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
████▌▄▌▄▐▐▌█████
████▌▄▌▄▐▐▌▀████
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:08, Reply)
posting a picture? STOP!
nah, you're alright you are
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:10, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 7:25, Reply)
alright grrr

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 7:40, Reply)
alright mano

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:13, Reply)
Hullo grrr

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 7:45, Reply)
hallo Two Hats

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:13, Reply)
good morning grrr

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 7:54, Reply)
good morning richard

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:13, Reply)
LOL

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 7:56, Reply)
ROFL

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:13, Reply)
how do?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:32, Reply)
yes

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:09, Reply)
indeed

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:14, Reply)
oh god ben elton no

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:34, Reply)
bit cloudy, bit cold, morning nonetheless

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:14, Reply)
sounds like a perfect morning to me
could do with a fine drizzle though
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:15, Reply)
I'm in the frozen wastes of northern England

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:18, Reply)
fuck off dozers

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:21, Reply)
horbs

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:03, Reply)
Go fuck yourself

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:19, Reply)
no, you do it for me you lazy turd

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:30, Reply)
Twitter really is the most intelligent social network out there
Gregory ‏@Qwaid 9 Feb 2013
White ppl tan cause dem wa look like we black girls put in blonde hair to look like them best of both worlds?#QuestionsBetterLeftUnanswered

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:31, Reply)
I think this might be more of a mumsnet thing?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:34, Reply)
I hope this finds you well?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:40, Reply)
I am fine thank you very much Two Hats I hope you are fine and that we are all fine

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:52, Reply)
I appreciate this ^

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:58, Reply)
Can't argue with that.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:35, Reply)
As true now as it was in 2013

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:40, Reply)
but could any of us even begin to imagine what 2015 would be like back then in february 2013?

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:49, Reply)
Many of us were expecting hover boards and such
oh how young and naive we were!
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:59, Reply)
Or, indeed, unasked in the first place.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:08, Reply)
Howdo, grrrumplestiltskin.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:34, Reply)
pfft

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:35, Reply)
*records a song for a Levi's advert*
*fails miserably*
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 9:06, Reply)
I'm not impressed by it so far

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:48, Reply)
Shit and rubbish

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 8:57, Reply)
Last orders!
Come on, finish up your drinks and fuck off. I'm sure you've all got homes to go to.
(, Wed 2 Sep 2015, 23:41, Reply)
capitalism in action

(, Wed 2 Sep 2015, 23:49, Reply)
Touch me, 2Can.
Touch me like you touched those French girls.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 0:06, Reply)
What are you still doing here? I'm calling security!

(, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 0:11, Reply)

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