FAT FIGHT NIGHT!
Offend a B3tan..

GO!
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)

You come on here because no-one else wants to talk to you
because your voice is so gratingly nasal even by Northern standards.
( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:42, Reply)

I'm too tired.
*yawn*
( rosie posie tingly bongly, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I just posted a thing on facebook
about how hey now have to stick an advert on telly to remind people to play games with their children and isn't that a shocking state of affairs etc etc. Somebody actually replied with "O yes children raised acording to the governments little book will make pefect little maluable wage batterys fore the future stuff schools silly government scemes and nanny stating the only person who no's best is mum".

I am horrified. He's a nice chap but...wow.

What shocking reactionary conspiracy bollocks have you heard recently? Get involved.
( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6940800
( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)

The WI totally support prozzies

( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:30, Reply)

So do I IN MY ARSE

( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)

Facebook is shit.
Fuck off, facebook.
( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I quite like it
It's a good way of bothering people. Listen to my music and opinions, etc.
( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)

i enjoyed tory-baiting at election time.
because my little sister is really good at arguing and knows much more than most of the people i know - so they'd post something revealing their opinions, i'd bait them and then when they reacted i'd get her to post and totally leave them speechless. much fun.
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Salman Butt.
i find this name funny.
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:36, Reply)

My brother has recently joined it.
His main activities seem to be spying on his daughter's activities and posting loads of pololitical nonsense. Double F has had to hide him cos he's doing his head in.
( Blue Star Official B3ta Ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I like spying on other people's daughters.
lololol or something
( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Is that the one that stood in the elections?

( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Yeah.
He's still trying to get the hang of the internet in general.
( Blue Star Official B3ta Ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Get him signed up here.
We'll soon sort him out.
( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)

I'm a bugger for political nonsense, but I keep that mainly on tumblr.

( Wicca'd Witch We're just monkeys in shoes., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:40, Reply)

maluable? :(
no's? :(

acording :(

and so on, oh god.
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Is that like valuable, but mis-spelt?
or like maulable, which is basically giving tigers and wolves free rein over your kids' futures?
( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:29, Reply)

i hope it's maulable.
i think it means malleable though.
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)

what is a wage battery though?
Is that like a piggy bank? Or some really poor account where you put your money in but it leaks away over time and just when you really need it you realise it's completely empty?
( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:35, Reply)

He lives in the middle of nowhere with big loud speakers
I think he might just need a friend
( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)

i am a coward. i bitch and whine and then in person i'm always lovely to people. trufax.

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:32, Reply)

Me too, actually
I quite like this bloke, he's a DJ and promoter and he throws some wonderful parties. He has a genuinely good heart. I just think the years of partying and living on top of a mountain have done his head in a bit
( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:34, Reply)

really it's ok. i don't see why the people that irritate me should have to put up with my intolerance and frustration.
maybe if i am nice they will improve, yep?
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:35, Reply)

That's a very lovely way of looking at it
You're ace, binky. And LOVELY
( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:36, Reply)

well, see, if i am not, then only the people who know me well enough know that.
and if you don't know me, why should you know my mean and impatient side?

i think my logic is broken. or more likely i just avoid confrontation with strangers.
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:40, Reply)

They never do though binks.
Once a shitcunt, always a shitcunt.
( Blue Star Official B3ta Ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)

aw you cynic.

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)

I can be like that
more often than not I'll have it out with them or if it's someone I rarely see anyway, I just unfriend them. ROAR I'M WELL BRAVE.
( Blue Star Official B3ta Ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:37, Reply)

it's ok though, kids shut up if you put them in front of the tv till they fall asleep and their bright young minds go dead with lack of interaction.

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I certainly can't think of anything wrong with giving a child the whole internet to keep them quiet

( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:35, Reply)

they might wreck your download speed.

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:40, Reply)

have a shit
take a photo
and post it on their wall every day until they die
( valoukh alien sex, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:32, Reply)

this

( mr horrible put his trousers on really angrily on, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:34, Reply)

There is absolutely no way I can reply to this without feeling a bit grim
I tried :(
( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Best Before dates are a massive lie designed to make you buy more stuff instead of using what you've got.
I actually believe this.
'Use By' dates are fine though.
( Easty Ich Bin Ein Beiginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)

You can go a day or two over use by dates, I find
But still...where's the logic in that? Surely you buy what food you need, if you go over the use by so much it's a problem, you're probably buying too much food...
( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)

i more or less concur.
but i don't think it's lying, because nowhere does "best before" say "throw away after". it just misleads people who don't think.
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Oh and every lightbulb is monitored by the Phoebus Cartel who preserve their monopoly on production from deep beneath Switzerland

( Easty Ich Bin Ein Beiginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:42, Reply)

do moonpig let you send swears?
imgur.com/MdK3Y.jpg
imgur.com/4Tcvt.jpg

looks pretty good on their previewer, might use them, £3 a card though, pretty fucking pricy though yeah
( cr3 .14159, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:00, Reply)

I fucking hope so

( valoukh alien sex, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:01, Reply)

I always liked these
img109.mytextgraphics.com/sparklee/2010/09/02/8003ff4692c1aec413f6a573889297d5.gif
( valoukh alien sex, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)

tinyurl.com/3yhqj8c
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:18, Reply)

great!
I'd love to know how they make the text look blurred. whether its a css trick or something to do with hypnotic suggestion
( valoukh alien sex, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:21, Reply)

bigassmessage.com/f10a0
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:23, Reply)

img110.mytextgraphics.com/glittertextlive/2010/09/02/a7ac464df92beca0f3cdc03606f0f4d9.gif
( broadsword ßÔÔßÏêš, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:19, Reply)

haha
I need to be more careful with these at work
( valoukh alien sex, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:21, Reply)

ooh baby, do you know what that's worth?
ooh, heaven is a mmmgggnfhhfffgggrrrhhh
( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:21, Reply)

This has forced me to listen to the song on Spotify.

( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:24, Reply)

yeah, but every time she sings "ooooh"
try and imagine the noise being stifled by shoving your cock into her fat pouting American lips. The ones on her face. See if you can get to the end of the song without stopping for a wank-break.
( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:26, Reply)

Too late
I'm onto Whitney now
( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)

That ASDA girl is going to be really disappointed when she finds out you're a screaming bender.

( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:28, Reply)

I'm clinging onto the hope that she has a penis.

( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Do it and see.

( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Happy Birthday George
You massive massive cunt

Love CR3
( BobbyChomp Big, Bold & Bearded, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Moooonpriiiick
wearecentralpa.com/wtaj-news-fulltext/?nxd_id=203465
( Easty Ich Bin Ein Beiginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:04, Reply)

if they are posting them for you i doubt it
otherwise i'd use them to send all my ransom demands and hatemail
( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:05, Reply)

I heard moonpig is run by the WI and you will upset them something awful

('all i want for christmas is my glued HOLY SHIT, IT'S CHRISTMfront eel free graze box code: BUY SOME FRUIT, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)

I heard it's run by the SS and they'll come round your house and gas you.

( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:07, Reply)

By hiding under your duvet and then farting while you sleep with evil nazi guff.

(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)

I heard it's run by Mooncup and their Valentine's cards are really cheap because they have a good source of red ink

( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)

The WI run the world.
They're planning global domination in all their jam meetings.

All the conspiracy theories about the Masons are bollocks, it's the WI that control everything. I heard they're causing global warming so that fruit preserves become an important and expensive part of our diets.
( The Furry Dinosaur is a monster, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)

You should hear what happens when you play Jerusalem backwards

( Easty Ich Bin Ein Beiginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:24, Reply)

All the rockets that landed in the Gaza strip fly back upwards and return to their launchers?

( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Try it by sending one of those to their head office address

( broadsword ßÔÔßÏêš, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)

That girl from ASDA just text me!
Stone cold proof that the old phone number on a card does work. You bunch of doubters.
( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:12, Reply)

What does it say?

(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)

"Stop calling this number"

( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:16, Reply)

That she was grinning like an idiot all day that I gave her the card and is that drink still available

( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Targeting idiots. Good move.
Must remember that one.
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Seriously though.
Smooth.
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Vistaprint is your friend.
But pay extra to have their ad removed off the back. Else it just looks cheap.
( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Oh, I thought you wrote your number down on a piece of paper.
Your way's rubbish.
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Well it was a card, with a hand written message on the back.
It's definitely rubbish though, it hasn't worked!!!111one
( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)

"I hear you live with a man who can't stop shitting, is he single?"

( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:22, Reply)

You were the one doubting yourself man.
Spango was very encouraging about the whole thing...
( Blue Star Official B3ta Ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Oh I agree, I was referring to an earlier post where people had mocked my idea of having cards with numbers on
But she gave me the shove I needed, although now I have a moral dilemma involving another girl and blah and ffs life is never simple is it?
( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Probably best to lay in bed for another six months crying.
It's safer that way.
( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Maybe I could ask her to join me!

( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Ask them both to join you.
There's a small chance that you'll get to have a six month long weepy three-way.
( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Yeah, but what does spango know? She's going out with a closetted gay idi
mod edit: that's enough of that
( The Teviot Moose lives in the land that TfL forgot., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:22, Reply)

pfffft

( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Anyway, given the response I got from you earlier when I mentioned my evening plans you can FUCK RIGHT OFF.

( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)

<3

( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:28, Reply)

dude thats not funny.
fire and herpes are horrible deaths.
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:26, Reply)

That first one is excellent
Thanks for getting the moonpig theme stuck in my head though cr3, you giant bastard :(
( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:28, Reply)

I'm about to rant. About things being shit. Feel free to add shit things to the things that are already shit.
1) I'm so overworked I could cry, and probably will. We're short staffed to a ludicrous degree and I can't do all the things I need to do and I'm fed up and might actually have a nervous breakdown.

2) The only other member of staff in the office today is currently in the middle of some stupid fucking pissing contest with management, which resulted in her taking her lunch early without asking, and therefore I had to come back early to man the office as said management have fucked off to go to head office for the weekend.

3) I've found out that the CPS have STILL not made a decision on whether to prosecute the cunt that punched me, and not only that....he's not even in fucking prison any more (although he has now been arrested and is currently being held in custody).

I'm so tired and stressed I could shit, and I am starting to hate my job to the point where I don't want to go to work in the morning. The last three months have been a fucking nightmare. Can it please be better soon?
( Wicca'd Witch We're just monkeys in shoes., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:24, Reply)

1+2) You're giving too much of a shit. You should give less of a shit.

3) Have to wait and see on that one. The CPS are usually pretty good with small (on the grand scale of things) cases in order to deter repeat offending, etc.

G'luck!

edit: fuck yeah new icons
( cr3 .14159, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:28, Reply)

*pushes in the face*

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:31, Reply)

*falls over*
*rolls to safety*
( cr3 .14159, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:32, Reply)

I bet you get the icons without having to donate, don't you
DON'T YOU
( Peter Davison Once You Cressp, You Just Can't Splessp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:08, Reply)

if I had to put up with all the internet whining he does I'd make my own icon
and it'd be three times the size of everyone else's. And animated. Scrolling.
( spangolin tastes good and makes you feel clever, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:09, Reply)

in colour.

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:12, Reply)

KITTY CREW

( spangolin tastes good and makes you feel clever, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:13, Reply)

ONE FOR SQUIGGLE.

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:15, Reply)

*waits for him to come online*

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:27, Reply)

*impatients*

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:28, Reply)

*texts*

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:28, Reply)

what? what? Hey you're a cat icon
bah I want to see
( simplesquiggle Meow, Splat! .. Purrrrrr, shiver!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:35, Reply)

go to update your profile

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:36, Reply)

i put in your user code when i paypalled

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Don't think the change has been updated in my profile yet

( simplesquiggle Meow, Splat! .. Purrrrrr, shiver!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:37, Reply)

has now.

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:53, Reply)

ingrate.

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:05, Reply)

are you gonna miss our raid tonight then?

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:53, Reply)

No of course not
tell the guild to wait, i'm worth it :D - but i'll be back back before 7
( simplesquiggle Meow, Splat! .. Purrrrrr, shiver!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:25, Reply)

oh binkstery binks, up you up to those tricks
where you pay for their icon and make them your minx?
like a pet online whore
(as I was, before)
or do you just like these high jinks?
( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:40, Reply)

this one isn't just for online

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:44, Reply)

not just any cat, KEYBOARD CAT

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:37, Reply)

bonkety bonk
doo doo do do doo *jiggles*
( simplesquiggle Meow, Splat! .. Purrrrrr, shiver!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:38, Reply)

i don't think you can do jiggling,
you need to be fat or wobbly or something.
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:46, Reply)

i prefer lemmings m'self
LET'S GO
*trapdoor opens*
( manolith - a'm a spaghatta nadle!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:48, Reply)

i was tempted by him actually

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:52, Reply)

i'm not a huge fan of keyboard cat
it's alright, like
( manolith - a'm a spaghatta nadle!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:52, Reply)

i like the music, and i like the cat, but i found the application a little tiring.
novel enough. and the music was my ringtone till i updated my phone os
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:19, Reply)

yay lemmings :)

( simplesquiggle Meow, Splat! .. Purrrrrr, shiver!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Even if he did, I'd bet he'd still throw some love in the server-fund.

( Spider Riviera may ride alongside Odin in Valhalla one day, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:11, Reply)

*snigger*

( cr3 .14159, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:15, Reply)

I think it would be easier for him to donate a quid than to do the database jigging.
Unless there is admin tools already there.
( I wouldn't drink that milk if gonz was you, it's been out of the fridge for an hour or two. Can't believe I didn't notice SF changed my sig., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:32, Reply)

We do have tools there in case a donation is sent via means other than PayPal

( cr3 .14159, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:35, Reply)

yeah, i sent a postal order to cover mine

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:39, Reply)

i pay in pawprints and fragments of shiny glass.

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:47, Reply)

all the new icon sets i've bought since the penguin i've gifted to others, i'm nice like that you see

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:03, Reply)

that is lovellllely.
you king penguin you.

*rubs penguin tummy*
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:26, Reply)

Coolio.
I just had a thought, you should do a 'get every icon to-date' auction for charity, that would be quite cool.
( I wouldn't drink that milk if gonz was you, it's been out of the fridge for an hour or two. Can't believe I didn't notice SF changed my sig., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:50, Reply)

We swore never to backdate
Even I don't have a furtive
( cr3 .14159, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Oh'aye', but a one off for a charity auction would be cool for everyone involved and wouldn't really go against sticking to your guns, just bending them slightly for a good cause.
It's just an idea really.
( I wouldn't drink that milk if gonz was you, it's been out of the fridge for an hour or two. Can't believe I didn't notice SF changed my sig., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:00, Reply)

I know. It's a small office though, and therefore everything is a little more intense as a result.
I'm just very tired, I shall be better after some gin and a sleep.
( Wicca'd Witch We're just monkeys in shoes., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:47, Reply)

awwwwww sheeeeyit new icons up in this bitch

( Easty Ich Bin Ein Beiginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:53, Reply)

what are they?
edit/ found them
www.b3ta.com/board/10173762
( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Jet Set Willy
Keyboard Cat
Lemming
and Tetris.
( Easty Ich Bin Ein Beiginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Ah Jet Set Willy
I spent many a childhood hour playing that
( M o D Fumo me piscis revenio ientaculum, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Ooh, I'm temped to redonate for a Lemming.

( The Teviot Moose lives in the land that TfL forgot., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:48, Reply)

*blocks*

( manolith - a'm a spaghatta nadle!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Yeah
that and the tetris block.

*is tempted*
( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:53, Reply)

KITTY

( spangolin tastes good and makes you feel clever, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:01, Reply)

i want new icons.

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:06, Reply)

*waits*

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:12, Reply)

omfg.

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:12, Reply)

that was very quick. i like.

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:13, Reply)

yay!

( spangolin tastes good and makes you feel clever, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:12, Reply)

HEY KITTY

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:13, Reply)

MEOW!

( spangolin tastes good and makes you feel clever, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:14, Reply)

MRAWR!

( cr3 .14159, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:16, Reply)

glomps snoffles huggles moings, shut up

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:18, Reply)

NYAN!

( spangolin tastes good and makes you feel clever, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:19, Reply)

*falls off a cliff because you didn't put a blocker in, you tard*

( Easty Ich Bin Ein Beiginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:19, Reply)

hee hee hee

( spangolin tastes good and makes you feel clever, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:19, Reply)

*bats*

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:34, Reply)

*clumps*

( cr3 .14159, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:36, Reply)

NO KITTY NOT A LEMUR

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Yay!! :D

( Dave! Albumhole! out now! http://albumhole.blogspot.com/, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:19, Reply)

GAYCONS MORE LIKE

('all i want for christmas is my glued HOLY SHIT, IT'S CHRISTMfront eel free graze box code: BUY SOME FRUIT, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:36, Reply)

i'm going for a ciggie before all this toddler talking shit makes my cancer worse, sadtimes

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Make sure you've got a perfect attendance record for one solid month
find evidence that your productivity is higher than your colleagues.
Then on a Friday morning walk into the boss's office, stare at him and say "this workload is unacceptable, you're doing nothing to mediate it, so I've just come here to tell you that I want a 20% pay rise immediately or I won't be back in on Monday."

Don't show him your tits until he says yes. Then use the pay rise to hire a hitman.
( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:28, Reply)

hi sca

*boss walks alone in carpark*
*can hear footsteps behind him*
*quickly turns... no-one there*
*boss climbs into car*
*relaxes, chuckling at himself for being so paranoid*
*something looms up from the back seat*
*he turns*
Ski Ba Bop Ba Dop Bop!
( Eddache is 100% Medically Accurate, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:31, Reply)

I was reading this thinking "scare a hit man, how is be-bop scary?"
then it all clicked.
( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Haha

( Eddache is 100% Medically Accurate, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:36, Reply)

You think YOU'VE got problems?
I've only got a couple of extra strong mints left in this wrapper. Once they're gone, that's it. No more mints for me (unless I go out and get more).

This kinda dwarfs your problems I'm afraid.
( Eddache is 100% Medically Accurate, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:29, Reply)

jus lettin U kno im here 4 U babez

( Undulating Tentacles of Love the creative mind behind children's lingerie., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:31, Reply)

thx luvver

( Eddache is 100% Medically Accurate, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:33, Reply)

They're all gone now.
:(
( Eddache is 100% Medically Accurate, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:35, Reply)

oh god I'm so sorry :(

( spangolin tastes good and makes you feel clever, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:35, Reply)

It's times like this I know who my friends are.

( Eddache is 100% Medically Accurate, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:36, Reply)

i'm frantically phoning celebs to make a charity single for you

( manolith - a'm a spaghatta nadle!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:52, Reply)

1. Why are you letting this be your problem?
2. As above.
3. Sucks :(

Find a new job. At the least start looking for one.
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:29, Reply)

I looked for a new job the other day,
it wasn't entirely encouraging.
( Moon Girl Technologies lemon and ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:45, Reply)

There's nothing about
and I actually normally really enjoy this job. It's just recently that it has got shit.
( Wicca'd Witch We're just monkeys in shoes., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:48, Reply)

A bird I know called Lisa
Was assaulted and told the police-a
The didn't do much
And her job was such
That she had a breakdown and ended weeping in burger king with a massive pile of cheeseburgers which she alternately stuck in her mouth and cunt.
( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:30, Reply)

I suffer from high stress at work
with tasks that I just cannot shirk.
But in this sperm bank
I get paid to wank,
which is less of a stress, more a perk.
( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:33, Reply)

I prefer, when I masturbate,
To use a condom; it feels great.
Once I've saved enough up
I pour them into a cup
Drink it and then spew on my date.
( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:37, Reply)

I've bottled up pints of my semen
from my strong lack of contact with women
but when I tried to flog it
no-one wanted to quaff it
as coffee is preferred with fresh cream in
( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:44, Reply)

When washing windows in my gaff
I prefer to use my own spaff.
It gets a bit gooey
But once I am through-y
I invite a mong round for a laugh.
( Easty Ich Bin Ein Beiginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Oh man, I NEVER get to have pissing contests at work

( broadsword ßÔÔßÏêš, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:33, Reply)

I used to play floater football with a single turd in the toilet bowl, and me and my brother each having a side of the bowl as our "goal".

( Eddache is 100% Medically Accurate, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:34, Reply)

i like homer he says mm donuts

( Peter Davison Once You Cressp, You Just Can't Splessp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:33, Reply)

HOMER IS DEAD

( Lightguy oh dang, oh nuts, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:51, Reply)

well me having cancer is a bit shit i suppose

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Cancer of the Bivvy :(

( Peter Davison Once You Cressp, You Just Can't Splessp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:36, Reply)

i suppose i need to sort out who will get my bivvy and other stuff when i've died

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:45, Reply)

You should bury it and give cryptic clues to its location
All of /talk shall search for it ala It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
( Peter Davison Once You Cressp, You Just Can't Splessp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:05, Reply)

not sure i have the time for that, i'll give it to my brother, he would enjoy an aqua m3

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Gutted!

(PsychoChomp will tell you over dinner., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:41, Reply)

I'd like to tattoo smiley faces on your tumours.

( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:43, Reply)

so that as they grow, the smiles get bigger

( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Awwww

( broadsword ßÔÔßÏêš, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:45, Reply)

it is only one tumour at the moment, but i feel that is enough

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:47, Reply)

How long have you got left?

( Sir Sand Goblin I think I'm some kind of intellectual, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:46, Reply)

well seeing as the lump i've found is quite near my lung and as i have self diagnosed cancer, i'd say about a month
seeing the doctor next week, but i'm too weak to go through chemo, so no matter what she says it will soon be goodbye
( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I wish you all the best!
xx
( Sir Sand Goblin I think I'm some kind of intellectual, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:55, Reply)

ta, it's not been a bad life really

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:57, Reply)

No need to brag just because you got cancer.

( Sir Sand Goblin I think I'm some kind of intellectual, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:58, Reply)

i was having a moment of reflection if you dont fucking mind

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:00, Reply)

yeh well don't reflect badly on the rest of us ok?

( Sir Sand Goblin I think I'm some kind of intellectual, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:14, Reply)

to be honest, what with the cancer riddling my body as i type, probably, i dont care
but this may well be one of the side effects of the lump of cancer i have
( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Although I feel your pain
www.livejournal.com is your friend
(TRACTUUR, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Time was, people would simply link to the Doghorse song :(

( Wicca'd Witch We're just monkeys in shoes., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Three words:
Next Weekend Bitch
( Blue Star Official B3ta Ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:46, Reply)

YES.
I am totally off the wagon next weekend.
( Wicca'd Witch We're just monkeys in shoes., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Oh my dear sweet wicca !
When are you going to invite me over so I can look after you for a weekend, cook all sorts of lovely things and drink wine that taste like Ribeena?
( I wouldn't drink that milk if gonz was you, it's been out of the fridge for an hour or two. Can't believe I didn't notice SF changed my sig., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Things are great for me, actually. Sorry.
Operation: Camel is going quite well, as today's lunch of minestrone, huge tracts of bread with olive oil, mini cheddars, penguin bars, fig rolls, apples and maybe another packet of crisps all washed down with pinot grigiot will testify.
I went out with a female girl last night and ate loads of sushi and she likes me so yay. I'm going cheese shopping with another girly on Saturday, so that will help with Operation: Sex Machine and Operation: Camel too.
My malaria pills were quite cheap, and the sun's shining. Thing's are just tickety boo.
Sorry.
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Man I got a Lemming
I am so happy! new telly yesterday and a little pixelated Lemming today! I am the luckiest boy in the world.
( BobbyChomp Big, Bold & Bearded, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:56, Reply)

hmmmm
1 = gin
2 = gin
3 = GIN

I strongly suggest gin and to call Badger and tell him you will be wanting hugs and chips when you get home.
( Tyronne you know tenko,it’s a sort of Japanese Butlins, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:57, Reply)

maybe you should become feral for a couple of weeks, that might help

( Lightguy oh dang, oh nuts, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:59, Reply)

There was a man I should mention
Who wanted a bit of attention
He had nothing to say
And posted anyway
Which, no doubt, will create some tension.
( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Or something.

( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Alright balders, you fucking prick?
/ac
( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:21, Reply)

YES I AM.
LIFE IS GOOD.
Apart from being sick of my job.
I want to run a tea house.

baldmonkey's tea emporium
( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:24, Reply)

I was in a very nice tea room a couple of weeks ago.
Way better than anything you'd open.
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:25, Reply)

I once went to a tea 'room', turned out to be the ponciest place I've ever drank tea.
Not a single teacake to be had. Mind you, the tea was very good.
www.teasmith.co.uk/
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I took my mum to one in Chester a few months back
and I was instantly annoyed by the prices they get away with.

Hmm....a quality tea-room, aimed at the young adult, which has the quality of a tea-room but the prices of a greasy spoon
(Frisbee_Adam Sandwich? Why yes...yes I would, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:29, Reply)

A pot of tea and a teacake.
Should be no more than a pound fifty, two pounds tops.
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Depends on the tea.
PG tips; yes. Silver needle, no.
( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:44, Reply)

You wouldn't have a teacake with anything other than a strong cup of black tea, though.
Unless you're, you know, a dick.
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Tea cakes are shit though.

( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:12, Reply)

A poofter named Adam, he did see
A passion for ultimate frisbee
He threw it around
It landed on the ground
And he tripped over it because he's a spacker
( Peter Davison Once You Cressp, You Just Can't Splessp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Have you slept?

( mr horrible put his trousers on really angrily on, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Have you cancer?

( Peter Davison Once You Cressp, You Just Can't Splessp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:04, Reply)

No, that's mongychops
I did catch old school 80's AIDS from a toilet seat though.
( mr horrible put his trousers on really angrily on, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:07, Reply)

There was a young man called Friz
who found himself in a terrible tiz
for you see
it was that he
FATFACEFATFACEFATFACE
( Undulating Tentacles of Love the creative mind behind children's lingerie., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:29, Reply)

I DEMAND CAKEZ

( Tyronne you know tenko,it’s a sort of Japanese Butlins, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:31, Reply)

I bet you'd put pubes in all the biscuits

( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:32, Reply)

That would be the name of the place.
baldmonkey's famous pubes in the biscuits tea room.
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:33, Reply)

I'd make ginger biscuits
And sell them for hundreds of pounds.
With real ginger pubes.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Hello. It's been a while

(Frisbee_Adam Sandwich? Why yes...yes I would, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:20, Reply)

while job for the A-team.
( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:22, Reply)

I ain't gettin on no frisbee, foo'

( mr horrible put his trousers on really angrily on, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:29, Reply)

What this site needs is some way of displaying a score beside the username.
But the score will change at random. This should keep lots of people upset.
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:21, Reply)

I'm willing to join a terrorist group in order to fight for this.

( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:26, Reply)

I'll start grinding up the fertiliser.

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:26, Reply)

compo it!

(The Cat Hater the closest you're ever likely to get to meeting a, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Can we have some HEATED DEBATE?

(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:25, Reply)

I don't bother heating the teapot prior to adding the tea.

( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:27, Reply)

This is SCANDALOUS.
Or at least, it would be, if we still lived in drafty cave-like houses, rather than the hermetically sealed abodes we dwell in now.
I just like the ritual.
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:30, Reply)

I LIKE THE RITUAL TOO!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT IS FUN!
Sometimes I go all out and have a little plate of Mr Kipling's french fancies too.
( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:40, Reply)

fahkin ponces

(PsychoChomp will tell you over dinner., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:49, Reply)

A baldmonkey chap, who was spacky
Was dull and a bore and quite tacky
Nonsense in his head
He would post as a thread
Because he was lol rofl waki
( Peter Davison Once You Cressp, You Just Can't Splessp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Have you been to sleep yet?
I have been away but it seems like your episode is still going, have you at least had some lunch? You musn't forget to eat even when you are like this.
( Sir Sand Goblin I think I'm some kind of intellectual, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:46, Reply)

To this post some fat bloke replied
With a huff and a grunt and a sigh
Well make it quick
You fucking great dick
I've got eggs to eat here what I've fried
( broadsword ßÔÔßÏêš, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:28, Reply)

An internet baldy named Paul,
Calculated the weight of his ball,
The cube of its weight,
Times pi minus eight,
Was three fifths of two thirds of fuck all.
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:31, Reply)

baldmonkey's an attention-seeker
He's a /talker, not a QotWeek-er
When he says "LOOK AT ME"
He's being WACKY, you see
The insufferable shite-posting beaker.
( Flapjack infringes your so-called 'human rights', Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:33, Reply)

When everyone pays attention to me
I do a little sex wee
I like to be noticed
blah blah vblah blahbljhalbhalhbal MEEEEE!
( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:50, Reply)

[insert witty poetry]

( Wicca'd Witch We're just monkeys in shoes., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:38, Reply)

I'd like to insert my ode
Into Wicca's special abode
The one 'tween her legs
Where she bleeds out her eggs
Once a month until she gets old.
( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:48, Reply)

A /QOTWer was able
To finger his mate 'cross a table
She climaxed in time
And knocked over some wine
(But, the truth is that she was disabled)
( Peter Davison Once You Cressp, You Just Can't Splessp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:52, Reply)

The great thi
ng abo
ut free form poe
try is tha
tyoucan
g e t a w a y
with
calling

somoneoneacun
t
( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Poor use of capital letter at the start.

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:56, Reply)

as if I'm going to take composition tips from you of all people

( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:04, Reply)

A vagina, a minge and a cunt
A pink pocket and also a front
bottom or foo foo
A fanny or fun chute
A twat, a growler and a clunge.
( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:59, Reply)

As a woodland creature will know
be he fox or a badger or vole
'tis really quite pleasant
if the weather's inclement
to be stuck up a hot and tight hole.
( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:10, Reply)

I love the smell on my fingers
(Which, thankfully, often lingers)
From the feminine dripping
When my finger's been dipping
Up the pocket of a unwashed old minger.
( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Piston's reply just made me vomit :(
b3ta.com/questions/confess/post843083
( Peter Davison Once You Cressp, You Just Can't Splessp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:58, Reply)

Didn't you hear?
He's Mel Gibson.
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:00, Reply)

I have not heard this

( Peter Davison Once You Cressp, You Just Can't Splessp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:03, Reply)

this is the sort of post I'd expect of someone who has never driven a mustang through a corn field to escape an alien spaceship

('all i want for christmas is my glued HOLY SHIT, IT'S CHRISTMfront eel free graze box code: BUY SOME FRUIT, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:02, Reply)

roses are red violets are blue oh god where am I
('all i want for christmas is my glued HOLY SHIT, IT'S CHRISTMfront eel free graze box code: BUY SOME FRUIT, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:00, Reply)

Daisies are white
Not many flowers are black
Bees are all racists
Cunts.
( baldmonkey I'M IN THE NEWSLETTER BECAUSE I'M ROB'S FAVOURITE, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Flowers must take the brunt
of the vicious and heartless affront
of the theft of their pollen
all far too often
by those yellow and black stripy cunts.
( Grrrmachine 's Used Presidential Jets dealership, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:08, Reply)

it's my dad's birthday and i have no idea what to get him. he's away till saturday.
i am toying with the idea of "tidying up his pc" but it's so full and disorganised that it would be a nightmare and open a whole can of worms.

suggestions. not "your mum" please, he has one of them already.
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

A flagon of mead.
Really. There's a place somewhere round your way that brews it. I got very drunk on it. It's smashing.
( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)

i might buy him booze

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)

i've been confessing. i never did qotw before. im not sure this is a good idea.

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:33, Reply)

i was going to join in this weeks one with some massive lies, but i stopped myself when i realised i shouldn't stoop to their level, fucking question of the weakers

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

oh i didnt lie
was that my first mistake?
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

you need to add something about your tits really, perhaps a tale about getting a slightly older cousin in trouble when you were 13 for titting you up after you begged him to then getting him arrested

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:57, Reply)

i only have one male cousin.
i did get slightly in trouble for finding my uncle and aunt's sex manual box and showing my cousin Sophie.
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:09, Reply)

I'll be honest with you here
Society largely views mead as quite a girly drink on account of it being hideously sweet and not made from nails.
(bogus official a bile-filled screaming anus with a pen jammed in, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)

hideously sweet and not made from nails liked by Noit
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)

This too

(bogus official a bile-filled screaming anus with a pen jammed in, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Yeah, but fuck society.
*lives in the woods, gets pissed on mead*
( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Also, didn't Vikings drink mead?
That pretty much rules it out as girly.
( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)

All that time on boats with hairy men?
Nope, nowt gay there.
(bogus official a bile-filled screaming anus with a pen jammed in, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Girly != gay
I'm drinking mead makes me a bumosexual then I'll be the hairy bear with the horn full of mead.
( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)

You are SOOOO naive

(bogus official a bile-filled screaming anus with a pen jammed in, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Do you have a lot more experience of gaying, then?

( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:06, Reply)

I have a lot more experience of not gaying
It's equally valid.
(bogus official a bile-filled screaming anus with a pen jammed in, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

You'll die alone

(bogus official a bile-filled screaming anus with a pen jammed in, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)

All the goffs and ale-swilling metallica fans went mental when my old local started selling it
They are, however, mostly cunts. This may explain a lot
( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I bought some at Lindisfarne and liked it for the first mouthful
After that I just wanted to vom it all up again. The wife loved it, the poisonous old crone. I wonder if she's dead yet?
(bogus official a bile-filled screaming anus with a pen jammed in, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)

i quite like it but it is rather sweet

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Get him a pork pie

( Peter Davison Once You Cressp, You Just Can't Splessp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Model railway.
Dads love that shit.
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)

My dad has one in the loft that spans the entire circumference of the house
It used to be scalextric, but he grew up a bit around 50
( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Yeah, my Dad's converted one of the bedrooms into a workshop for his trains.
He spends his spare time building replicas of Italian railway stations.
I'm sure there's a good reason for all this.
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)

it's because you were too ugly for him to take up child abuse

(Mister Ectomy has wet his weapon, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Hatching an evil plan for taking over Italy?

( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:19, Reply)

That's not evil, though.
I mean, you couldn't be more evil than the Italian government. Any replacement is an act of kindness.
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Escape from the tedium of old age and an ineffectual wife

( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Yeah, my mum is very sick.

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)

He just wants to be a child again, like the good old days
Take him to play pooh sticks
( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)

His childhood wasn't good old days.
Still though, we could drag everyone out of his house at gunpoint at three in the morning and torch the place.
For nostalgia, like.
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)

i didn'y know you dad was a black fella from louisiana

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Not only that, he was a sort sighted Cambodian.
Sad times.
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:36, Reply)

kelly brook straddling a 1:25 scale flying dutchman

('all i want for christmas is my glued HOLY SHIT, IT'S CHRISTMfront eel free graze box code: BUY SOME FRUIT, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Oh yes, you'll like this.
I logged onto my chimpbook yesterday, and amongst all the friend suggestions of other apes that have joined there was a friend suggestion of some pop star woman whose name I can't remember now. It made me laugh, anyway.
( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)

At my job interview on Monday they were terribly excited about the Chimp project.
Bless 'em.
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:19, Reply)

is that still going? dunno who i was now, or what email i signed up with

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Apparently so.
I assumed it would be dead long ago, but the missus checked her account about a month ago, and they're still at it.
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)

It wasn't Kelly Brook but now Glued Eel has posted her name I can't think who it actually was.

( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Excuse me. I going to go and think about Kelly Brook for three minutes.

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)

the fat titted chatham slag

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:29, Reply)

PHWOAR

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:36, Reply)

aqua m3 bivvy

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Port and a cheese board
Dads love cheese and port
( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)

not a good idea for a lactose intollerent recovering alcoholic
( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)

What a sad life :(

( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:19, Reply)

he's been doing his best to lose weight :/

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Whiskey and some decent glasses?

( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Booze.
Nice booze.
( The Furry Dinosaur is a monster, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I would avoid tidying up his PC unless you want to find photos of him in your mum's clothes

('all i want for christmas is my glued HOLY SHIT, IT'S CHRISTMfront eel free graze box code: BUY SOME FRUIT, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

A framed picture of me.
And print outs of all the articles off my blog.
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)

this
perfectly appropriate gift for dads

EDIT Oh, or this b3ta.com/talk/6940545
(The Cat Hater the closest you're ever likely to get to meeting a, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)

That makes me think of Syncubus and his damp pink cock sock.
I think I might be sick.
( The Furry Dinosaur is a monster, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Make a donation to Ed Milliband's campaign in his name.

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Go the whole hog,
donate to David Millipede and buy him a copy of Blair's memoirs.
( The Furry Dinosaur is a monster, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Sit on his knee and wiggle about uncomfortably a bit .

(bogus official a bile-filled screaming anus with a pen jammed in, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)

An experience day maybe?
Drive a fire engine!

www.buyagift.co.uk/Product/Id/6460/Name/Big_Toys_Driving_Experience
( hedonist My novel Four Minute Warning out now - see profile, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)

A home brewing kit
or a box of cheese www.nealsyarddairy.co.uk/buyonline.html

or take him out for a meal.
( Cactus 1 wasn't here on, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)

he has all the homebrew stuff ever and views most things as a waste of money

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Deluxe scrabble, madeout of wood, with a rotating board.
"LET'S ROTATE THE BOARD"
( Red Rocket BUNGA BUNGA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:29, Reply)

does it rotate the letters too?
i don't want to have to read upside-down :(
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:30, Reply)

The rotation is so anyone can look at it the right way up
SILLY BINKY
( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Errm, get with it Binkly.
Each player rotates the board when it's their turn so that they don't have to read upside down.
( Red Rocket BUNGA BUNGA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:35, Reply)

i want it to be the right way up. for me. always.
i would only use it on a lazy susan.
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:37, Reply)

show him/me your bumhole

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:32, Reply)

His mum.

( Aardvark though we're apart, you thought of me still, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:32, Reply)

dead for 20 years, nice, nice

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:38, Reply)

A demijohn full of water and frogspawn.

(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:38, Reply)

A Jasper

( Maximinimus is not very tall, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

James Ensor, Belgium's famous painter.

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

let him and his best mate spit roast you, then dp you, before losing their muck all over your face

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:54, Reply)

A bag of Cadbury's mini eggs
or a new saw
(Two Hats - When a man wears Blue Stratos..., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:13, Reply)

I bought my dad a badger hair shaving brush, shaving soap and oil
and I got him an oooold old old shaving scuttle, so you add boiling water to it and you get an amazing shave out of it all.
(Frisbee_Adam Sandwich? Why yes...yes I would, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:18, Reply)

also, Hello!
How's tricks?
(Frisbee_Adam Sandwich? Why yes...yes I would, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:22, Reply)

tricks are good thanks.
sorry, went home for lunch.

last time i looked my dad had 3 bager brushes :/
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:15, Reply)

I'm playing the waiting game, in a fetching new top.
What's bugging you?
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Klendathu

( Maximinimus is not very tall, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I hear you, Gandalf.

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:45, Reply)

*signs up for the mobile infantry*
because let's face it, the stationary infantry would be shit
(Mister Ectomy has wet his weapon, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)

You, you bugger.

( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)

*bugs*

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:47, Reply)

*transcribes your conversations*

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)

*says "wank" a lot so it's not all very boring*

( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)

clients

( spangolin tastes good and makes you feel clever, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Yeah, it was all a lot more glamorous in Belle du Jour, wasn't it?

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)

The News of the World

( Qinsipid Smell lingering, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Sports injury :(
My swimming cozzie has rubbed my thigh into a red welt. And shoe polish under my nails. Good morning.
(bogus official a bile-filled screaming anus with a pen jammed in, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)

You should have used the safe word earlier.

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I was just getting going.

(bogus official a bile-filled screaming anus with a pen jammed in, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Dane Bowers

( hedonist My novel Four Minute Warning out now - see profile, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I hate him.

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Haha

( Blue Star Official B3ta Ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:54, Reply)

My life.
I want to move in with my man.
( The Furry Dinosaur is a monster, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Oh go on then.
Type out some dreary crap about your emotions, I'll pretend to read it and make some sort of vaguely sympathetic reply.
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I'm going to shit on your moobs.
This is how these sort of exchanges should go right?
( The Furry Dinosaur is a monster, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)

software numpties who "investigate" a problem by utterly breaking the installed program without seeing fit to tell me
then "fix" the problems with a patch that does nothing except issue the same problems to anyone who didn't have it already

and mobile phone users who (a) expect the phone company to remotely turn their phone off for a pac transfer (b) act like they were never told (four times and in writing) to turn their phone off for the transfer (c) can't work out how to use the answerphone (d) forget the pin within 2 days (e) lose the charger within a week (f) pretend they never had a charger (g) wait till the phone has died before reporting lack of charger
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Have you tried the Atkins diet?

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)

are you insinuating that i am fat?

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)

No.
It was a poor attempt at LOLWAKI that has driven my beknighted craft against the rocks of casual misogyny.
( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)

not really.

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)

OH JOY

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

oh and people without enough work to do who spend their time in meetings devising new jobs for me
like "rename 1200 files by hand" or "open 2000 files to check the revision date, check online for newer versions, and keep records of how old they all are"
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)

"and then do it all again in 6 months" :(((

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Have you tried turning them off and on again?

(bogus official a bile-filled screaming anus with a pen jammed in, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)

REBOOT USER

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)

BEAK BEAK BEAK

( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Are you not getting enough attention?

( Blue Star Official B3ta Ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)

CRS

( rosie posie tingly bongly, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Cuddle Richard's Sister?

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Care records system.
It's the big computer system I rely on to do all my work, and it enjoys fucking up on a regular basis.
( rosie posie tingly bongly, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:03, Reply)

This.
It's shit.
( Blue Star Official B3ta Ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)

symbolisms, socialism's live life lead, learn
struggle war whole drug fiends, the white house burn
sex, pain, fear, freedom love, young guns be shootin
genocide, revolution, lost souls, prostitutin
military confrontation, safe sex, and masturbation
peace to all the homeless people livin in the train station
project war, spill the one verse four
lock the door, burn the disc now everybody hit the mutha fuckin floor
( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I didn't know you were a Cliff Richards fan.

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)

How's the cancer?

( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)

still the same, i'm hoping it isn't spreading, cant see my gp till late next week, if i make it that far

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)

You'll be alright, mongy
Best order a wreath in a few days, if it hasn't gone down
( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Jeremy Kyle
Do people seriously sleep with these women?
( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)

No, they sleep with them ironically.

( Dr Preference is donating the profits from this post to charity, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I see what you did there

( SugarSpunSister WEBPLACE www.sugarspun.co.uk GO NOW, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

bear attack

('all i want for christmas is my glued HOLY SHIT, IT'S CHRISTMfront eel free graze box code: BUY SOME FRUIT, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Hello internet.
I'm going to a funeral today. What fun, cheery and exciting things are you going to do today other than work or lazing about flicking yourselves off to Jeremy Kyle?
( Blue Star Official B3ta Ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 8:43, Reply)

I have a driving lesson later. That's about it, really.

( JackAction Good friends with Kevin Spacey., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 8:46, Reply)

Exciting times, JA
exciting times.
( Blue Star Official B3ta Ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 8:48, Reply)

hello blooster

( manolith - a'm a spaghatta nadle!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:33, Reply)

i didn't think there were any roads in wales

( manolith - a'm a spaghatta nadle!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:22, Reply)

where trac'ors go, we don't need ...ROADS

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I was in Devon last weekend
I like their accents
( Maximinimus is not very tall, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:41, Reply)

where were you?
I live in Devon and I rarely hear any Devon accents
( Vipros warmer...warmer....disco!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:43, Reply)

South Molton

( Maximinimus is not very tall, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:43, Reply)

ah ok
that'd explain it
( Vipros warmer...warmer....disco!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:44, Reply)

i don't hear many either though, it's mainly the old folks with the accents.

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:53, Reply)

or drunk people.
I can think of one person I know my age with one, and he's a full-on Ottery Tar Barreller type
( Vipros warmer...warmer....disco!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:11, Reply)

omg really

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:51, Reply)

dude that's 5 minuets away :(

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:52, Reply)

gutted :(

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Yus, stayed there on Sunday night

( Maximinimus is not very tall, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:12, Reply)

sad faces.

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:22, Reply)

where would you even stay in south molton?
do you have friends there?
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:22, Reply)

i spent my sunday night alone :(

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I think he's talking about "driving" sheep
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drover
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drover_(Australian)
( The Teviot Moose lives in the land that TfL forgot., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Wow, I never knew the stig was Welsh !

( I wouldn't drink that milk if gonz was you, it's been out of the fridge for an hour or two. Can't believe I didn't notice SF changed my sig., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Day off
was supposed to be off last week but I cancelled it to help with a big project at work, so I've got today off instead. *relaxes*
( hedonist My novel Four Minute Warning out now - see profile, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 8:49, Reply)

Wanking, video games, eating and tea drinking?
They're normally how my days off go except for video games watching crappy daytime tv and dvds
( Blue Star Official B3ta Ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 8:57, Reply)

i want more days off.
and more money.

i need to reevaluate my work/life thingy.
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:00, Reply)

i would like someone to pay me a bunch of money to just do whatever i liked

( manolith - a'm a spaghatta nadle!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:31, Reply)

i haven't really thought this through
i just thought i might be worth more than this.
( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:39, Reply)

I've been off work for about a week now.
I'm red raw.

From all the video games and eating that is.
( Eddache is 100% Medically Accurate, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:01, Reply)

scott pilgrim's pretty good, innit

( manolith - a'm a spaghatta nadle!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:23, Reply)

OHMYGODAREYOUSTALKINGME!
*sprays you in the eyes with pepper spray with tasers*
( Eddache is 100% Medically Accurate, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:28, Reply)

i think twitter prefer the term 'following' but yeah, the principle is the same

( manolith - a'm a spaghatta nadle!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:30, Reply)

But yes, I liked it alot!

( Eddache is 100% Medically Accurate, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:29, Reply)

              ^----^
      ."```''/o    o|
     / / / /   ,--, / - ALOT HAVE NO EXS.
     \  /  /    .../    ONLY AN A AND AN L AND AN O AND A T.
     | ||~~~| ||        AND NO GIRLFRIEND.
     ^^^`   ^^^`

( Eddache is 100% Medically Accurate, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:30, Reply)

i would not like to fight you alot

( manolith - a'm a spaghatta nadle!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:30, Reply)

YES !

( I wouldn't drink that milk if gonz was you, it's been out of the fridge for an hour or two. Can't believe I didn't notice SF changed my sig., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I love you alot.

( rosie posie tingly bongly, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:32, Reply)

I don't get this whole "alot" thing.

( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:43, Reply)

hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
( I wouldn't drink that milk if gonz was you, it's been out of the fridge for an hour or two. Can't believe I didn't notice SF changed my sig., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Yes, but I don't get it.
It's shit.
( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:54, Reply)

I quite like it.

( I wouldn't drink that milk if gonz was you, it's been out of the fridge for an hour or two. Can't believe I didn't notice SF changed my sig., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)

aw. whose is it? do you have the whole day off, will you meet nice relatives, and will this compensate?

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:00, Reply)

It's my friend's husband.
They were estranged though. Me and FF are going for Chris's sake though. The break up wasn't a nice one but they were still married. I hadn't seen Paul in ages.

I'm probably going to go back to work afterwards because we don't really know an awful lot of his family and that. It's just really sad.
( Blue Star Official B3ta Ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:05, Reply)

gays??

(PsychoChomp will tell you over dinner., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:12, Reply)

OMG RITE

( Blue Star Official B3ta Ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:13, Reply)

Are they even allowed to be buried?
I though they had to be hung at the gates of the city to ward of evil?
(PsychoChomp will tell you over dinner., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:18, Reply)

Oh the lols

( Blue Star Official B3ta Ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:25, Reply)

i'm glad neptune isn't here to read this homophobic rhetoric

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:27, Reply)

does the god of the sea have strong pro-gay views?

( Vipros warmer...warmer....disco!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:42, Reply)

i keep reading that as "for Christ's sake"

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)

i'd rather not think about death, what with the limp i've found that is no doubt cancer, no offence
today i will be searching the internet confirming my cancer
( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:08, Reply)

are you sure you haven't just sprained your ankle?

( hedonist My novel Four Minute Warning out now - see profile, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:18, Reply)

if only that typo was the biggest of my problems, but i fear it is not

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I still bet it's a cyst of some sort

( hedonist My novel Four Minute Warning out now - see profile, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:23, Reply)

i'm not taking bets on my cancer being a cyst, what kind of sick ghoul are you, sadtimes

( mongychops british by birth, a londoner by the grace of god, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:26, Reply)

sorry, stiff upper lip and all that
always in r harts x
( hedonist My novel Four Minute Warning out now - see profile, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:33, Reply)

mongychops
The peoples princess.
( Qinsipid Smell lingering, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I just got a terrifying email form my dad titled 'mum's new toy'

it all turned out alright though
('all i want for christmas is my glued HOLY SHIT, IT'S CHRISTMfront eel free graze box code: BUY SOME FRUIT, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:13, Reply)

is it one of those remote control cars that carries on even if you flip it over?

( manolith - a'm a spaghatta nadle!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Big Yellow Teapot?

( hedonist My novel Four Minute Warning out now - see profile, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:36, Reply)

setting up a brand new shop in Eastbourne
oh, and probably hating some cats too
(The Cat Hater the closest you're ever likely to get to meeting a, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:14, Reply)

What sort of shop?

( Blue Star Official B3ta Ginger, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:33, Reply)

one which sells gadgets and that

(The Cat Hater the closest you're ever likely to get to meeting a, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Are they special gadgets for old people and Beachy Head suicidals?
I can't imagine many young hip people passing by.

Good luck with the new shop!
( Qinsipid Smell lingering, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:26, Reply)

I don't know i've got horrific period pains and stress about flat stuff,
not much cheeriness from over here.

Hope the funeral goes ok.
( rosie posie tingly bongly, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:16, Reply)

I am watching Jeremy Kyle AND working
Later I may cook fish fingers
( Maximinimus is not very tall, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Ooh.
I want a fish finger sandwich now.
( rosie posie tingly bongly, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:27, Reply)

yeah, i'll have one too please.

( manolith - a'm a spaghatta nadle!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:32, Reply)

*forms orderly queue*

( hedonist My novel Four Minute Warning out now - see profile, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:38, Reply)

I wants don't get

( Maximinimus is not very tall, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 9:40, Reply)

oh not fair

( spangolin tastes good and makes you feel clever, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I've moved desks and I'm now reinstalling all my tools
They've given me Windows 7 too, which is nice
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Right now I'm watching Top Gear on Dave, via TVCatchup on XBMC which is fucking awesome.
My PC has a remote control. Which is fucking awesome.

I have Lemsip which is awesome.

I have a sore throat, which is not.
( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:04, Reply)

What do you reckon about the outting of The Stig?
I reckon the BBC should have gotten a bunch of racing figureheads to do a sparticus style "No, _I_ am The Stig".
( I wouldn't drink that milk if gonz was you, it's been out of the fridge for an hour or two. Can't believe I didn't notice SF changed my sig., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:29, Reply)

I don't think anyone could care less.
Most people don't even know who Ben Collins is.
( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I'm demob happy
penultimate day at work before I go to Egypt for two weeks! Yays!
( fluffymitten it's not flammable unless you set light to it, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Deciding if I want to pay a deposit for a flat in Green Lanes

( Perry The Platypus was abducted by an army of toast soldiers on, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Boo for funerals, sorry to hear it.
I've got 7 hours of dull work, then a driving lesson. All while figuring out the best stuff to put on my new phone.
( spangolin tastes good and makes you feel clever, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Bumholes and cider

( Maximinimus is not very tall, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:18, Reply)

NO BUMHOLES
cr3 already changed my lock screen to yiff while I wasn't looking
( spangolin tastes good and makes you feel clever, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I've finished a fun day at work, and now writing my CV up.
Or I would be, if I wasn't procrastinating. I don't really want the new job, but have little job security at the moment, so applying for jobs anyways.
( Qinsipid Smell lingering, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Hawt date.
Oh yeah.
( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Haw Fa
( Ludaface feat Sex Dogg I got Hoes in different Area Codes, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Not even slightly.
In fact, I'd go so far as to say that she's WELL out of my league. She doesn't seem to have realised this though.
( Noit MOATY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Alright?

( Spider Riviera may ride alongside Odin in Valhalla one day, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 2:23, Reply)

YES!
How many times?
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 2:27, Reply)

I don't know
I don't love you as much as you do.
( Spider Riviera may ride alongside Odin in Valhalla one day, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 2:28, Reply)

I'm actually terribly insecure.
It's all the ladies that love me. I can't help that. You know I can't, and you shouldn't, in all good conscience, hold that against me.
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 2:31, Reply)

I don't and never did.

( Spider Riviera may ride alongside Odin in Valhalla one day, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 2:32, Reply)

I love you, man.

(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 2:34, Reply)

Anyway, look, here's a couple of bands I saw last week that I recommend
www.myspace.com/everythingeverythinguk
www.myspace.com/mrfoggisapopstar
www.myspace.com/healthmusic
www.myspace.com/holyfuck
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 2:30, Reply)

I noticed down the board a bit and took note.
You're late to the holy fuck party though, Scott used to play them well regularly on BoB.
( Spider Riviera may ride alongside Odin in Valhalla one day, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 2:32, Reply)

I never said they were new.
edit: sorry, that was uncalled for. But I never said they were new. I just happened to see them this weekend and they were great.
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 2:33, Reply)

Oh, I knew that, the other three are new to me in any case.
Danke for the heads-up.
( Spider Riviera may ride alongside Odin in Valhalla one day, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 2:37, Reply)

The first two are those 'ones to watch' type thing.
I can't ever see them being the next radiohead or whatever, but by god, they make some good pop songs between them.
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 2:39, Reply)

hi

( Peter Davison Once You Cressp, You Just Can't Splessp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 2:39, Reply)

it's alright now
but i was worried there for a second
(augsav, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 5:43, Reply)

Whats with the fryiz bullying tonight?
Carry on, I think its great

Anyway.. how are you?
( Dave! Albumhole! out now! http://albumhole.blogspot.com/, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:15, Reply)

fuck Friz man, fuck Friz

( mr horrible put his trousers on really angrily on, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:16, Reply)

with everything that's going on, we should probably give friz a break.
he's really having a hard time at the moment.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:16, Reply)

r
( mr horrible put his trousers on really angrily on, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:16, Reply)

Everyone calm down,
he'll be okay, he just needs some rest.
( Sir Sand Goblin I think I'm some kind of intellectual, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:16, Reply)

please friz don't kill your'reself

( Lightguy oh dang, oh nuts, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:17, Reply)

it's all good.
second night in hospital, the woman in the next bed sounds like an asthmatic walrus wanking on a stairmaster and I have morphine on tap.
(stone cold steel janet aylia burn America burn, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:21, Reply)

Why you in a hospital dude? :P

( Dave! Albumhole! out now! http://albumhole.blogspot.com/, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:22, Reply)

came in as a day case on Tuesday to get broken shoulder plated.
had to stay overnight due to massive drugs, and had a nerve block procedure yesterday to try and get the pain under control. Huge anaesthetic injections into my neck - I now have the floating frozen head of Walt Disney.

hoping to go home today, but am still on self-administered morphine shots every 5 mins so dunno.

tl;dr - shoulder is utterly fucked.
(stone cold steel janet aylia burn America burn, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:38, Reply)

gutted.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:40, Reply)

I knew you would be.
I just had the feeling, you know? what with is being such special friends and all.
(stone cold steel janet aylia burn America burn, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:42, Reply)

Ugh, I hate sleeping in hospital.
Everyone else makes so much horrible ill noise and it smells foul. You have my sympathy.
( Aardvark though we're apart, you thought of me still, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:22, Reply)

I quite like
the smell of hospitals. Noise less so.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi driver would like to hear Demis Roussos., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:25, Reply)

I was in and out of hospital between being born and maybe my third birthday? (I was very young, but still have vivid memories of it)
So, don't really hate them, but still don't like to be around them any longer than I have to.
( Spider Riviera may ride alongside Odin in Valhalla one day, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:28, Reply)

I've only been in once myself
but work in them often. It doesn't bother me really. Maybe because I ain't had to use them myself that much.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi driver would like to hear Demis Roussos., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:43, Reply)

hahahaha janet aylia sounds like genetalia
aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:24, Reply)

oh hold on, i just said it out loud and i get it now!
oh that is good.
( Sir Sand Goblin I think I'm some kind of intellectual, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:26, Reply)

hahahahaha, it's really funny.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:29, Reply)

Morphine!
Yay!
Blimey second night? How you feelin?
( Herb Alpert's Taxi driver would like to hear Demis Roussos., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:24, Reply)

Is it really as good as everyone I know who's had it tells me it is?

( Spider Riviera may ride alongside Odin in Valhalla one day, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:25, Reply)

Its floaty light.

( Herb Alpert's Taxi driver would like to hear Demis Roussos., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:27, Reply)

One of my mates just gave me a sloppy grin, double thumbs up and crowed "I got morphine, it made being in hospital so worthwhile".
Lucky gits.
( Spider Riviera may ride alongside Odin in Valhalla one day, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:30, Reply)

You gotta weigh it up though Spidey
Would rather not be in hospital at all.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi driver would like to hear Demis Roussos., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:33, Reply)

I agree there.
But if I ended up there, I'd want something to make the time go past quicker.
( Spider Riviera may ride alongside Odin in Valhalla one day, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:35, Reply)

Then morphine
is your best friend. :-)
( Herb Alpert's Taxi driver would like to hear Demis Roussos., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:38, Reply)

it's bliss in liquid form.

(stone cold steel janet aylia burn America burn, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:29, Reply)

Hang in there!
You doing ok?
( Herb Alpert's Taxi driver would like to hear Demis Roussos., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:33, Reply)

much better since the nerve block yesterday afternoon, ta lovely.

(stone cold steel janet aylia burn America burn, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:40, Reply)

What a nightmare!
Get well soon. You can't stay quasimodo on us for too long.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi driver would like to hear Demis Roussos., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:45, Reply)

Nice, turn up the tap and enjoy not doing anything.

( Spider Riviera may ride alongside Odin in Valhalla one day, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:24, Reply)

I'm actually great.

(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:35, Reply)

I'm cool
just earned an easy £20 for diagnosing a internet fault where the dozy builders had severed the phone line
( hedonist My novel Four Minute Warning out now - see profile, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:57, Reply)

buildozers eh

( sleepybinky *clumps*, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 8:37, Reply)

woah now, we must not let this get out of hand.
our friend friz is ill, calm down people.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:14, Reply)

fuck Friz man, fuck Friz

( mr horrible put his trousers on really angrily on, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:15, Reply)

he's having a hard time man.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:15, Reply)

yeah but, fuck him

( mr horrible put his trousers on really angrily on, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:16, Reply)

I have FINALLY caught up with the new Doctor Who
and I am in love, they steampunked the TARDIS!

Just need to share my joy :D
( DeSpong becoming mingent, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:08, Reply)

fuck Friz man, fuck Friz

( mr horrible put his trousers on really angrily on, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:09, Reply)

Fuck off Fri... oh, hi DeSpong. Yeah, it's alright.

( Zuowan background noise from Beijing, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:11, Reply)

fuck friz

( Dave! Albumhole! out now! http://albumhole.blogspot.com/, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:12, Reply)

Friz fuck

( Aardvark though we're apart, you thought of me still, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:12, Reply)

Man I wish Friz was dead. Like proper dead. Of a serious illness.

( JackAction Good friends with Kevin Spacey., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:13, Reply)

that's great, i've never really seen doctor who though, what is it?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:13, Reply)

It's like through the keyhole, but instead of seeing the celebrity's house we get an interview with their doctor about their medical history.

( Zuowan background noise from Beijing, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:15, Reply)

Hey lovely upside-down Spong.
How's things?
( Spider Riviera may ride alongside Odin in Valhalla one day, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 1:15, Reply)

Hi, I'm Troy McLure
you may remember me from such films as Beakering: Just What Is Friz For? and Rhino Rape 3: Got The Horn.
( mr horrible put his trousers on really angrily on, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:42, Reply)

Hi, Dr. Nick!

( JackAction Good friends with Kevin Spacey., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:44, Reply)

Hi, I'm Linda Lovelaces
You may remember me from educational videos such as "Learning to tie your shoe-laces" and "Double Knotting for Pros".
( Spider Riviera may ride alongside Odin in Valhalla one day, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:44, Reply)

It's spelt "McClure" you fucking idiot

( Peter Davison Once You Cressp, You Just Can't Splessp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:45, Reply)

shut up friz.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:45, Reply)

i remember seeing a film once where some people were stitched together and they ate eachothers poo, apart from the front one.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:45, Reply)

Was it The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Mountain?

( Aardvark though we're apart, you thought of me still, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:46, Reply)

yeah, i think hugh grant was in it.
pooing in mouths or something.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:47, Reply)

Hi, not-Chris!

( The Woodside Crow my species: HOMO SAPI-NEWS!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:45, Reply)

HOMER IS DEAD

( Lightguy oh dang, oh nuts, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:46, Reply)

LONG LIVE HOMER!

( Spider Riviera may ride alongside Odin in Valhalla one day, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:47, Reply)

Watch out Troy McLure
Your wife is behind you with an..... OH FUCK!
( Zuowan background noise from Beijing, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:50, Reply)

hi I'm Aardvark
who wants to ask me something
( Aardvark though we're apart, you thought of me still, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:36, Reply)

Who was you favourite competitor in the Wacky Races?

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:39, Reply)

Hare Krishna.

(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:40, Reply)

That bunch that were like the Addams Family and had a dragon in the turret of their car.

( Aardvark though we're apart, you thought of me still, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:41, Reply)

No, but do you know what?
I'll tell you two bands who are really quite good. Everything Everything and Mr Fogg. Look them up, they're really, as I said, quite good. I could mention the other bands I saw this weekend, but they're pretty well established already, and they'd probably just feel like my recommendation were some kind of albatross around their neck. I'm like that.
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:40, Reply)

Fleetwood Mac?

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:41, Reply)

Hang on, let's see if I can remember everyone I saw.
Friday: Mr Fogg, (destined for great things), The Big Pink (average), Yeasayer (awesome), Mumford and Sons (ok), Phoenix (ok), LCD Soundsystem (bangin')
Saturday: Everything Everything...hmmm, can't remember much about Saturday
Sunday: Lights, Health, Holy Fuck, Four Tet, Foals.

Fuck me, I paid £180 for that?
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:46, Reply)

I heartily approve.
You been hangin with the kids at Readin have ya?
( Herb Alpert's Taxi driver would like to hear Demis Roussos., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:52, Reply)

I'm always looking out for new music, so these are going on my list. Thanks!
I may take a while to get round to them though.
( Aardvark though we're apart, you thought of me still, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:42, Reply)

Hey man, it's ok. Music's perpetual, y'know?
It doesn't matter when you come to it, man, it's going to be new to you, yeah?
(rnuk, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:47, Reply)

You're so right. This is a healthy attitude to music.
In return I recommend to you: Metric. They're quite cool and I just discovered them.
( Aardvark though we're apart, you thought of me still, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:50, Reply)

hi aardvark, i guess my question is, *snrk* is your refrigerator running?? HAHAHAHAHA!!! *hangs up*

( Lightguy oh dang, oh nuts, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:40, Reply)

Why yes, it is! Why do you ask-OH WAIT, YOU LITTLE...!

( Aardvark though we're apart, you thought of me still, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:42, Reply)

this is better because you're not a tedious prick

( Sir Sand Goblin I think I'm some kind of intellectual, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:40, Reply)

SSG why don't you like me

( Peter Davison Once You Cressp, You Just Can't Splessp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:41, Reply)

my alarm went off,
fuck you friz.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:42, Reply)

because you're a bit of a dullard prick, no offence

( Sir Sand Goblin I think I'm some kind of intellectual, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:44, Reply)

Aw, thanks.
You're not either.
( Aardvark though we're apart, you thought of me still, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:43, Reply)

i would not go that far cheers

( Sir Sand Goblin I think I'm some kind of intellectual, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:45, Reply)

Hi Aardvark!
I have a question. Here come question.

Q. What is the difference between Alex Ferguson and James Brown?
( The Woodside Crow my species: HOMO SAPI-NEWS!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:40, Reply)

Alex Ferguson has a red nose.

( mr horrible put his trousers on really angrily on, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:42, Reply)

I don't know.
What is the difference between Alex Ferguson and James Brown?
( Aardvark though we're apart, you thought of me still, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:43, Reply)

A. James Brown is dead.

( The Woodside Crow my species: HOMO SAPI-NEWS!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:44, Reply)

Hi Woodside!
That is true, although not funny.
( Aardvark though we're apart, you thought of me still, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:45, Reply)

hi i'm derren brown
who wants to ask me something
( Peter Davison Once You Cressp, You Just Can't Splessp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:19, Reply)

MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME

( Aardvark though we're apart, you thought of me still, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:20, Reply)

derren brown has no comment on this

( Peter Davison Once You Cressp, You Just Can't Splessp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:21, Reply)

^aAaAaAaAAaaaAaAAaR_rrdv^AAaAAaaAa_AAAaAARR^rrRk!!!!!!!!!!!!
( Spider Riviera may ride alongside Odin in Valhalla one day, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 0:26, Reply)

That's me!
:D
( Aardvark though we're apart, you thought of me still,