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morning

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 7:12, Reply)
Morning

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 7:27, Reply)
F

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 7:31, Reply)
The previous occupant of my house is a member of a wine club
How do I know this? Because a case of Chilean cabernet sauvignon has been delivered whilst I was at work and taken in by the cleaner. A good end to a shit day
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:05, Reply)
Check how much it's worth before you play finders keepers.
You don't want to have to replace it!
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:08, Reply)
Are you saying he should do a case study

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:14, Reply)
My ex missus was a member of a whine club....oh hahahaha

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:12, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:14, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:00, Reply)
[dogname]

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:02, Reply)
jeff's right
that might be some expensive shit yo
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:15, Reply)
Really? Does Chile make expensive wines ?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:29, Reply)
Very few
These are £6-7 bottles
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:00, Reply)
That's high end, by my standards.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:01, Reply)
Above £20 a bottle I can't tell the difference: £25 or £150, no idea
But £10 compared with £5...night and day, for reds at least
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:08, Reply)
Yeah, I was kidding.
Pretty much given up wine, though, so it's moot.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:13, Reply)
Sup moot

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:39, Reply)
You like beer, mcb likes wine , I like strong larger , but I'm sure we all enjoy each others choice, so we should have e way dripping hot sauna sex , imho

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 20:48, Reply)
I'm game.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 21:35, Reply)
Uh, no homo.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 21:38, Reply)
bathe in it then put it back in the bottles

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:19, Reply)
If no one signed for it, get it down your neck and put the evidence in your neighbours bin.
If the cleaner signed for it, well you're probably best to leave it.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:30, Reply)
Ah but no-one with the cleaner's name lives here do they?
#clever #4dchess #fraud
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:02, Reply)
unrelated, but there's a proper fucking blizzard going on outside
The snow's been blasted onto my windows like so much arctic bukkake
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:50, Reply)
worst dessert ever

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:52, Reply)
seriously, my window looks like a yeti wanked on it

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:39, Reply)
Just doing my job, man.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 22:40, Reply)
I'd like some proper snow in london, ain't had any for years

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:38, Reply)
I'll pop some in the post

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:43, Reply)
I fell off my bike twice today.
Once when my back tyre kicked out on sheet ice, and once when I stood up to pedal leaving work and the freewheel slipped.

I think my freewheel's starting to jam open. Might need to try and clean it.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:00, Reply)
freewheel? but it should only have two

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:02, Reply)
Just checked on amazon and a sturmey archer single speed freewheel is £11.
It's really not worth trying to take apart the old one and trying to fix it is it? I'll just loose the bearings and swear a lot.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:37, Reply)
not once you've bought the special grease and a pair of needlenose pliers for the circlip
and then waited a week for a new circlip cos the original one bent while you were taking it off. Fuck it, get a new one.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:38, Reply)
Worse beasties cover eva

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:41, Reply)
Aye, it's spent a year outside and I remember reading some complaints about the original one failing for some people.
It does seem like I probably should do the hub bearings while I'm there though.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:48, Reply)
Get yourself a new wheel, and some gears while you're at it

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 20:12, Reply)
Might as well just get a new bike.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 20:18, Reply)
If it's been exposed for a year and you don't regularly grease and maintain it, then yeah, the whole thing is probably beyond repair
AND THE SAME GOES FOR YOUR BICYCLE ahahaha.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 20:25, Reply)
That's some cheap arse steel then

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 21:08, Reply)
That, plus aluminium parts plus winter road salt ain't great if you want to ever take it apart again

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 21:15, Reply)
Meh, ordered a new freewheel, some cone spanners and some grease.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 22:13, Reply)
Good luck

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 22:38, Reply)
That's what you get for not paying for wheels m8

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:03, Reply)
lol, Slippery

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:13, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:16, Reply)
shut up?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:16, Reply)

freewheel's foreskin's
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:17, Reply)
Afternoon.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:36, Reply)
Might go up the pub, bit early but it's how I'm rolling

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:41, Reply)
And here's me without a cocktail

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:42, Reply)
Short fillums evening at the arty cinema tonight.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:46, Reply)
+f

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:58, Reply)
Welsh short ffillums.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:11, Reply)
Pobol Y Cwm

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:14, Reply)
Cwmsluts, more like

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:17, Reply)
Cwm on my face
cariad!
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:24, Reply)
dragging a bit innit

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:52, Reply)
http://www.b3ta.com/talk/8144296

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:59, Reply)
I'm sort of bored

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:58, Reply)
hmm

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:59, Reply)
You know, according to your science,
Male eyes emits such radiation which can cause skin cancer demage to hairs etc of a female so hijab prevent them from such harmfull radiarions
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:22, Reply)
yes, and I stand by it

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:35, Reply)
[reply]

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:00, Reply)
Well,

I've actually thought a lot about this, and I'm pretty sure the reason is lead poisoning. I know it sounds like I'm joking, but I'm absolutely serious. Leaded gasoline was only phased out starting in the 1980s, so the entire baby boomer generation grew up with massive amounts of toxic lead in the air due to leaded gasoline. The effects of lead poisoning are all but too apparent in the argumentative style of many baby boomers. The irritability, irrationality, and decline in mental faculties are all symptoms of mild lead poisoning. So statistically, the younger generation is much smarter than the baby boomer generation, because we weren't slowly poisoned with lead all of our lives. So why do a lot of baby boomers eat Fox News for breakfast lunch and dinner? Because they were poisoned by lead all of their lives. That, and some people are just plain stupid.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:09, Reply)
A bit tin foil hatty
tbh
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:16, Reply)
I bet you're old enough to have lead poisoning, which is why you don't get it.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:16, Reply)
^ no lead in his pencil

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:19, Reply)
*raises fists into punching shape*
*hits self in face*
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:25, Reply)
Afternoon Munch.
Might use the snow as an excuse to knock off early.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:00, Reply)
Snow?
I wish.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:17, Reply)
In Glasgow

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:20, Reply)
Ah, beyond the wall.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:23, Reply)

beyond the wall licky boom boom down
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 17:23, Reply)
Informer, her boyfriend's tall he plays ball, a licky boom boom down

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 17:47, Reply)
Barfternoon more like
The Sun has settled another 4 cases against them for phone hacking. Yep, they are still paying out large wodges of cash to people they hacked.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:01, Reply)
Quality paper, the Sun.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:19, Reply)
They seem to have it in for The Guardian at the minute on the old Twitter...
They're scared people are seeking news from more credible sources.
That's why they had a go at social media the other week too.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:23, Reply)
Guardian as a credible source? Come on.
It's a step up from the sun, but it's heavily biased.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:24, Reply)
All papers are biased.
You just need to be smart enough to recognise that and interpret the content appropriately.
Given the Sun has a reading age of 7, I doubt they expect too much of their readership.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:30, Reply)
I stand corrected, it's as high as 9, now, apparently consistent with the national average.
Which is worrying.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:31, Reply)
I'd rather read the paper that highlighted the hacking going on than the paper that did it
I don't read any of the opinion pieces, they are just there to raise blood levels, however their scoops have been huge over the last few years what with Edward Snowden and the Panama Papers.

The Guardian arn't squeaky clean, they keep shitloads of their journos on 0 hour contracts and they give Corbyn's cronys editorial space. Oh and they have offshore tax plan. But the difference is they'll publish stories on it if it is the public interest.

Either way, better than a lot of other papers.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:37, Reply)
Opinion pages are the only thing worth looking at in the papers.
Everything worth knowing is covered by the Today Programme.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:42, Reply)
Don't change MM
That is comedy gold
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:49, Reply)
Rest assured, I never will.
Come to think of it, I probably rely on the Friday 6:30 comedy slot to keep up to date on current events.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:50, Reply)
Seamus Milne is head of communication for Corbs.
On sabbatical from The Guardian.

I wouldn't pay £2 for it.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:48, Reply)
The writer of the Daily Mail article a year and a day ago who proclaimed May as the new Thatcher
Is now her press secretary. Your point again? It is a revolving door between politics and newspapers. I am anti-Corbyn, but I can see through it. Tell me how you can see through the Sun and the Mails reporting to the actual facts?
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:50, Reply)
None, especially.
Other than Seamus Milne is a cunt.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:53, Reply)
He is indeed
And Owen Jones needs a better job where he doesn't have to say ridiculous things for cash.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:55, Reply)
I was agreeing with
"The Guardian arn't squeaky clean, they keep shitloads of their journos on 0 hour contracts and they give Corbyn's cronys editorial space. Oh and they have offshore tax plan."
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:54, Reply)
Read it online for nothing.
Really stick it to them!
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:59, Reply)
And they did an Op Ed piece on James O'Brien earlier in the week
Lashing out like toddlers.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:33, Reply)
I've seen him being retweeted a lot.
No idea who he is.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:37, Reply)
Does 10-1pm on LBC
A very good listen actually.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:38, Reply)
None the wiser.
Thanks, though.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:41, Reply)
Private school educated sjw , and a fucking cunt

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:54, Reply)
I see.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:57, Reply)
gonna shut the office in a minute

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:26, Reply)
Forever? Or just because it's a bit of a waste of time being there until it's resolved?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:31, Reply)
LSD time

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:33, Reply)
Post-prandial thread.
Digestion, a beer and the office heating cranked up to maximum have just conspired to make me come so close to falling asleep that I almost fell off my chair, then actually made me fall asleep and snore loudly in full earshot of the big boss. I'm so smooth sometimes.

How's your day going?
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:08, Reply)
I wish IT would make good on their promise to replace my laptop.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:14, Reply)

ლ(´ڡ`ლ)
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:18, Reply)
What?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:22, Reply)

(ΘεΘ;)
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:28, Reply)
Do these make more sense if I squint?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:30, Reply)

in
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:05, Reply)
*squts*

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:08, Reply)
^got the squts

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:24, Reply)
Is there anything with which you can blackmail them?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:18, Reply)
I could threaten to leak all the porn from the harddrive,
but I sense that could backfire.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:19, Reply)
all that juicy revenge porn I bet

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:21, Reply)
The IT manager for a neighbouring college when I was at university
was also the guy who had a server with 20 GB (a huge amount at the time) of pirated films, series and software in his flat. The server's name was Tinky-Winky.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:22, Reply)
The IT manager at the school my wife worked at turned out to be a nonce.
Plenty of dodgy grot being stored on the school's network.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:25, Reply)
OK, you win.
That's several orders of magnitude worse. Funny how often they end up working at schools, isn't it?
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:27, Reply)
Not really, no.
Actually, there was another teacher there who got outed as a paedophile, when his boyfriend found compromising pictures of girls in school uniform on his computer. That was a weird one.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:29, Reply)
I can just imagine the boyfriend being more shocked by the straightness of the cheating than by the nonceness.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:31, Reply)
Quite.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:39, Reply)
This reminds me that the servers at my first office had wakki names: Trillian, Zaphod and Hactar.
The IT manager there was a cock.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:32, Reply)
most places have wakki names for servers
I've seen star wars characters, greek gods, famous cows etc.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:34, Reply)
Famous cows?
Sounds like a question off Shooting Stars. Name a famous cow.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:37, Reply)
Ermintrude

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:41, Reply)
milka

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:44, Reply)
Ermintrude, Milka, um, no that's it.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:45, Reply)
OK, so there are a maximum of two elements in the 'servers named after famous cows' set.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:48, Reply)
daisy

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:51, Reply)
Alright, HAL

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:55, Reply)
Kerry Katona
oh hahahaha
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:00, Reply)
He'.
I was going to say "Theresa May" but I couldn't be faffed.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:02, Reply)
lazy

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:05, Reply)
The Laughing

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:02, Reply)
Typical roundhead.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:07, Reply)
Ermintrude, Gladys, Clarabelle (sp?), The Laughing...

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:03, Reply)

www.care2.com/causes/10-famous-cows-to-inspire-you.html
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:24, Reply)
what utter fucking yank bullshit is this?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:27, Reply)
Le Vache Qui Rit

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:58, Reply)
we're moving from fully functional Win7 units
to Win 10 at some point this year. I'm sure dozens of dedicated and expensive software tools will be fucked sideways by it all.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:22, Reply)
I've had two Win10 machines softbricked by windows updates, at home.
It really is a stinky pile of poo.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:23, Reply)
Mine never fully shuts down
For all intents and purposes, it's 'off', but the power light stays on. Never did it before the update.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:12, Reply)
I added a button to the taskbar on my daughter's machine, so that it properly shuts down, instead of that "hybrid sleep" nonsense.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:18, Reply)
link pls

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:18, Reply)
to a page describing how to create the button, not a link to you daughter's computer, you fucking animal

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:19, Reply)
This looks familiar :
www.dell.com/support/article/uk/en/ukbsdt1/sln288446/how-to-create-a-shutdown-button-for-windows-8-or-windows-10?lang=en

Might have had to disable Fast Start, too, can't remember.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:42, Reply)
I'll give it a go, cheers

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:44, Reply)

st St

lol
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:44, Reply)
^

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:47, Reply)
is that swedish?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:54, Reply)
weeeell, it's swede-ish

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:23, Reply)
lol
*faarts*
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:54, Reply)
Replace it with a half-eaten custard cream
and a slightly chewed bic biro
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:52, Reply)
s'alright spose

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:22, Reply)
Mahsn't grahmble.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:29, Reply)
Yeah, alright
I'll feel better when we've exchanged contracts, but things are going ok.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:29, Reply)

contracts bodily fluids
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:32, Reply)
hey, whatever it takes

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:32, Reply)

bodily fluids long protein strings
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:36, Reply)
Just another manic monday

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:37, Reply)
sorry to hear that

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:43, Reply)
Innit doh.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:44, Reply)
I done a poopo

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:12, Reply)
out your bum?
that's disgusting
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:12, Reply)
N-uh
out of my helmit
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:52, Reply)
fuck

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:56, Reply)
Wrote a huuuuuuuge test document (80 pages plus) a few months ago, washed my hands of it
Document has boomeranged back round to me to test a system with :(
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:16, Reply)
gutted
how many test cases?
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:21, Reply)
30+ by the looks of it
And each is chunky with about 25 points to them *sigh*
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:25, Reply)
I did two 39-steppers this morning
checking if a reporting tool displayed values in thousands (k) instead of full digits...
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:28, Reply)
Get you, this is a full system one
So we are talking about 2 weeks with data setup
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:32, Reply)
bollocks to that
I usually get about 90mins between the devs deploying a new version to the TEST env, and the PM telling me "business will be doing SATs on that environment at noon". Brilliant project management.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:41, Reply)
Something tells me I might not be working with the best people...

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:43, Reply)
Dude.
Bogus.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:23, Reply)
It is totally, like
Not rad
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:31, Reply)
There's a lot of fucking stupid fucking nerd stuff in this thread m8

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:26, Reply)
there is now you're here

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:28, Reply)
One of our IT guys looks like a fat Harry hill and is a complete weapons grade specimen.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:30, Reply)
It is pretty nerdy, but the opening gambit was so open that it could have gone in any direction really.
It's not as if I'd asked a question about something deliberately nerdy like speaker cables.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:32, Reply)
I even died a little inside reply to that

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:37, Reply)
It's your fault. Learn to take responsibility for your actions

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:39, Reply)
I'll take my share of responsibility for what's happened.
But I'm not the only guilty party here.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:46, Reply)
Cartier have released some lovely watches this week

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:33, Reply)
Does your fetish extend to coo coo clocks
Or are you strictly a wrist man?
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:38, Reply)
Only mechanical watches for now

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:40, Reply)
do you perhaps mean 'cuckoo' here?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:41, Reply)
Alright Bill Oddie

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:42, Reply)
*puts hands all over your body*

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:45, Reply)
Alright mate, I'm not a fuckin' expert

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:42, Reply)
alright 'Clarence Ashley'
youtu.be/hvJ6M0Oz0lU
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:25, Reply)
I might get myself a new watch soon.
What's my best bet on a budget of about 300 quid?
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:40, Reply)
eighth of high-end shoe

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:42, Reply)
nice

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:46, Reply)
I fucking love a bit of high-end shoe, me

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:48, Reply)
15 on the watch, put the rest on something worthwhile.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:45, Reply)
Seiko really at that price , solid and reliable

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:48, Reply)
I had one for years, reliable it was indeed

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:52, Reply)
Fucking rubbish

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:33, Reply)
Has anyone got any burning torches or pitchforks yet?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:37, Reply)
We're the pissed-off ones here m8, any pitchforking will be done by me

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:38, Reply)
Any word from the boss on what is going to happen?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:40, Reply)
he reckons all will be well
There are signs that they have realised he wasn't bluffing when he told them they could get fucked last night: they stand to lose maybe 60k if we fold, we'd lose maybe 120k so it's in everyone's interests to calm down and get this resolved.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:44, Reply)
The negotiations sound like they need the help of your mate arson dave

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:54, Reply)
heh
Last time I saw him he borrowed £50 off me 'for a few days' and hasn't been seen since
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:10, Reply)
Shame
I would like to see your boss on C5 when they do one of those bailiff programmes - Can't Pay So We'll Make You A Gay or something.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:57, Reply)
They would have to be record-breakingly petty to turn it into a pissing contest just because of their wounded pride.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:00, Reply)
Spent most of the week searching for jobs
So today I'm sat here stoned eating cookies and watching snooker
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:34, Reply)
This thread is for you.
My boss is a wanker because he keeps forgetting to order stuff I need holding jobs up and making life hard.
We know why McBeefs boss is a wanker, we also know why you're a wanker. But can you tell me why your boss is a wanker. Or a previous boss. Maybe you're the boss and you're a wanker.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:04, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:05, Reply)
Retired are we?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:07, Reply)
Can't retire, too young

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:13, Reply)
Any old boss stories? I bet you worked for some pricks over the years.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:18, Reply)
Yep , I've had bosses who'd sack you on Friday in a hissy fit then go mental Monday when you didn't turn up

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:20, Reply)
Ive worked with many of those too!

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:52, Reply)
I had a boss
Who said in the morning "Don't worry. You've only just started, and this is complicated stuff. It'll take you time to get the hang of it."
Then took me into the office in the afternoon, because she was concerned that I just wasn't getting it, and am I sure this is the right job for me. A couple of other people there told me she was mental, and did this to everyone.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:09, Reply)
she wanted you

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:16, Reply)
She was, and remains to this day, the most scottish person I've ever met
She called people 'hen'.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:23, Reply)
My boss back in Tunbridge Wells was so Scottish, she'd actually say "Jings!" when stressed.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:30, Reply)
red shirt, thick glasses, had a Great Dane?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:35, Reply)
Yes, I worked for Tesco Value Velma Donkey.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:37, Reply)
Heroes in a half shell

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:53, Reply)
Heroes? On the high shelf.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:32, Reply)
lol, "Donkey"

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:04, Reply)
Not really.
He's a very fair bloke who let's me get on with it. Gives me all the flexibility I need and if I have any questions or want to get his opinion, he is happy to help.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:06, Reply)
What a useful WANKER he is.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:07, Reply)
No need to show off

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:08, Reply)
I bet he strokes your hair when you suck him off too

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:24, Reply)
My boss at southern leccy fired one of my colleagues because he had so much time off for cancer treatment

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:07, Reply)
Well. Yeah, proper workers would come in with cancer.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:08, Reply)
Oh, he did. Every day
Except the days he was having chemo. Apparently he was "tired". What a loser.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:09, Reply)
Sounds like a prick

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:14, Reply)
He had a bleach blonde mohawk and wore leather boots with massive spikes sticking out of them
He was a nice guy...but he dressed like a knob.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:15, Reply)
Poor old AA

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:19, Reply)
Was the Mohawk caused by th4 chemo....

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:28, Reply)
woah

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:31, Reply)
Did he get away with it,
or drag them through a tribunal?
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:33, Reply)
I think he (mohawk) was a contractor, so there wasn't much he could do
That being said, I haven't spoken to him since, and I technically quit that job on the same day. So short answer; I don't know, maybe.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:36, Reply)
Oh, OK.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:37, Reply)
I don't really have bosses
I have people who ask me to do stuff and I agree to or not. But the old boss I worked for was a raging prick who was convinced his slavic cobbled together web-app was going to destroy Silicon Valley and make him a billionaire overnight. He's bankrupt now.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:08, Reply)
What was the app was supposed to do?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:11, Reply)
Crazy frog ring tone generator

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:18, Reply)
it was a drag-and-drop app builder
so you could make your own apps for android and iphone. But it was completely functionless when he did all his marketing, and way too confusing to use once it actually did anything.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:21, Reply)
sounds great!

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:12, Reply)
The idea had merit
but he couldn't work out who his target audience was, and insisted on promising that it could do everything for everyone rather than saying "THIS is my key market, let's make it work perfectly for those guys". He got through 5 or 6 business managers in a year who all told him that, but he wouldn't listen.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:16, Reply)
My old boss openly admitted he had no idea how to manage people.
He expected you to have as much knowledge and experience of the sector on your first day on the job as he had from working in it for thirty years, and got angry when you didn't. Not a fundamentally bad person, but absolutely not boss material and a bit too highly strung.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:09, Reply)
My current boss is a bit like that.
Nice enough really, come off the tools, but no great management skills.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:19, Reply)
Yeah.
The guy was a whizz at his own job. Knew the inner workings of every machine we sold down to the smallest detail.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:20, Reply)

a on two wraps of
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:40, Reply)
You want to look a the people who promoted them.
HR folk that don't know their arsehole from their elbow.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:19, Reply)
My boss is lovely, a real pleasure to work for (despite the job itself being a bit shit).
Doubt my underling would say the same about me, though.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:36, Reply)
ask me again following the outcome of this year's pay review

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:41, Reply)
the companies house website is free now
so you can see how well (depending if they are on there) the company is doing and use it against them.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:55, Reply)
is it? used to be a tenner didn't it

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:11, Reply)
I can see how well they are doing from here
so they are sort of like Schrödinger's wanker until this time next week
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:14, Reply)
Unless your job is posting shit on here that nobody wants to read I'd say you deserve a pay cut

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:16, Reply)
Are you not getting paid, mongy?
I thought everyone was getting a slice of b3ta's ad revenue.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:23, Reply)
I earnt £28.60 from my /calendar listings in 2017

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:47, Reply)
I make no apologies for my excellent time management skills

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:26, Reply)

t l
*mixes up another Margarita*
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:55, Reply)
I had a boss who had fuck all people skills
the company eventually pushed him into his own department with him being the only person in it. He left after a while.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:53, Reply)
I like this.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:01, Reply)
When I was at Lockheed
there was a woman who NO ONE liked. Over the space of about 5 years, she'd worked in just about every department, because she never lasted more than a few months. She'd upset everyone, and then she'd get transferred.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:05, Reply)
Blood on your hands

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:14, Reply)
he fingered her?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:16, Reply)
She left my department before I got there
For which I was very thankful
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:24, Reply)
and yeah, I didn't feel good about working for LM
like I don't feel 100% fantastic about working for the company I'm at now. But hey, I loves the currency!
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:27, Reply)
My colleague's missus got headhunted from one of the large banks to work at BAE.
I have to assume she has no soul.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:39, Reply)
My first boss when I moved to Manchester was a treat.
He had ADHD or something... Loud and shouty. Would often walk round the office naked. Had prostitutes in his office. Snorted coke all day.
He often had me running errands, such as dry cleaning, or buying bottles of champagne from Selfridges at 10am...

My last straw working there was when guys came to the office looking for him, locked and loaded. That was definitely time to say adieu.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:55, Reply)
Did he drove a honda accord?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:06, Reply)
And if not, what DID he drove?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:07, Reply)
He droved a 4x4

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:19, Reply)
I knew someone who drave one of those

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:25, Reply)
my boss is such a wanker he keeps getting long-serving members of staff fired in order to steal their desks and further his own career and I'm pretty certain he's dealing drugs

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:22, Reply)
#justice4gerald

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:25, Reply)
haha

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:25, Reply)
surely he could have stolen their chairs easily enough
if they were long standing
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:26, Reply)

👎
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:31, Reply)
Lulzors

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:33, Reply)
There's a qotw post in that account that needs some backstory.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:37, Reply)
I'm guessing it's hoodbutter
that's the only relationship scandal I can remember of qftw
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:40, Reply)
Wasn't hoodbutter the one with the tragic parties

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:44, Reply)
Yup, the one in the Pink Floyd tribute band lol

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:48, Reply)
What a wanker

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:48, Reply)
He bragged about dating a 'mature model'
She had her own profile page with 'tasteful' pics with her manky old tits out - she was rough as old boots, it was well lol
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:52, Reply)
is this her?
flic.kr/p/2NGeyp
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:05, Reply)
IIRC that's actually the rather pleasant, friendly lady that the Captain abandonned for the showbiz tart.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:07, Reply)
were you at this legendary bash?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:14, Reply)
I've never been to a bash
although AaaaAAaaaAaardvark slept over once.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:17, Reply)
I was, it was awesome
The next morning Jimi Hendrix whipped everyone up a cracking full English
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:34, Reply)
n
The 'upgrade' looked like a 60-a-day smoking Romanian skaghead
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:12, Reply)
WOW!!!
We formed back in 1997 as a four piece Blues covers band! Gradually building up a local following & getting known on the local circuit! We've had various members come & go over the years but can safely say we're the strongest we've ever been! Now as a five piece band, we're equally at home in pubs & clubs or on a large festival stage!!
In 2008 we headlined the opening night of Fordham Festival!In 2010, we played Fordham Festival once again, with some some very well received feedback, this time as main support to xSimple Minds, playing our Pink Floyd set, with multi-coloured laser & light show!

We are available to book for any occasion, public or private, either for a pub/club gig or weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs, circumcissions, etc.

Check out our myspace site for future gig listings or check here! Also check out our Facebook Group Page, Fans of Blue Haze.
Alternatively, check out our website:
www.thebluehaze.co.uk

We play a mix of classics from artists like Eric Clapton, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Joe Cocker, Gary Moore plus many more!

We also play our very own "Wall of Sound" Pink Floyd set, complete with sound effects & light/laser show!
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:50, Reply)
Someone needs to disable that cunt's exclamation mark key

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:53, Reply)
Really do. it reads like an ad for Safestyle Windows...
YOU BUY ONE! YOU GET ONE FREE!
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:55, Reply)
He was going to hurt me all internet hard man style for bullying his best mate off the forum

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:55, Reply)
I'm glad the laser/light show is multicoloured
otherwise I might be disappointed.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:53, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:29, Reply)
What's the distinction between tribute band and covers band

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:05, Reply)
Tribute bands play exclusively the material of one artist (usually)

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:51, Reply)
It's tangles spare account

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:54, Reply)
several people appear to be in on the 'joke'
including this knobcheese: b3ta.com/questions/breakingup/post2086239
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:07, Reply)
That wasn't me

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:28, Reply)
Can confirm boss is a wanker, am boss.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:57, Reply)
Jeremy Hunt is your boss, gutted

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:58, Reply)
Oh right. Guess my boss is a cunt then.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:46, Reply)
GPs are independent contractors, aren't they?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:01, Reply)
Yes but have given up trying to explain that to people on here.
Plus even though I technically run my own business and decide what services I'm going to provide it's hard not to feel like Jeremy Hunt's bitch.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:24, Reply)
I've just received a call from the job centre
Telling me I'll be doing work experience there, so I'm pretty sure my boss will be a wanker
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:22, Reply)
Job Centres are strange beasts.
In the two or three months I was registered with my local one, I saw a grand total of one person get a job thanks to their efforts...as a recruitment adviser with the Job Centre.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:29, Reply)
They're shit at finding people jobs

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:30, Reply)
I think you're missing the point. They're not there to help people get jobs, they're there to put people off claiming JSA

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:47, Reply)
Skim reading important emails and then replying as if we'd written the opposite

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:33, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:10, Reply)
I've been invited to a "gong bath noise therapy meditation and yoga session"
What do you reckon?
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:40, Reply)
I think it sounds like a waste of time and oxygen in the presence of meatsacks devoid of all sentience
but what do I know?
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:48, Reply)
I've also been invited to talk to the Oxford arm of the British Vintage motorcycle club,
In spite of the fact that I've only owned 1 vintage British bike and that was years ago.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:51, Reply)
there's probably not many people like that left
like Brexit voters, they die off every year
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:55, Reply)
Yeah, I went once to their Monday meeting on the CZ,
Spoke to the president about a few things around the rebuild and he emailed to go down and talk about the wiring loom I made and my rig for making and wrapping the cable.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:59, Reply)
this sounds like an offshoot of The Detectorists

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:00, Reply)
Yeah, but he said he'd get me a couple of pints.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:02, Reply)
I'd even join the MGB owners' club if they stood me some drinks
(and they are THE PITS)
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:18, Reply)
part of me wanted an MGB
the other part remembers that all British made products from the 70s are fucking awful.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:25, Reply)
The fundamendal design was great
it's just that the execution was somewhat lacking. I've driven loads of 70s British cars and if they were one of the small percentage that were well made (on a good day, by a good team), and well maintained or restored then they're amazing. Most were shite though.

E-Type V12 was awesome, but I broke down actually on Tower Bridge. Rover P6 was hilarious and super. MGB roadster I loved - one of the only two times I've been flashed by a speed camera, MGB GT V8 - sweet car in baby-vomit mustard. Triumph Dolomite Sprint went like a rocket.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:58, Reply)
well yer, if you dump a big Chrysler v8 in anything it'll shift
but the accounting compromises ruined almost all the good designs, and union strikes and build quality finished the job. I'd still love a Jensen or an old Scimitar, but they're still crap.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:03, Reply)
What's amazing is that it wasn't a huge V8
it was only 3.5l and weighed less than the 2.6l straight six they used in older cars. I LOVE that engine.

I used to be a member of this place: www.classiccarclub.co.uk/fleet/
All the fun of driving the cars I love but none of the hassle about maintaining or storing them. Pricey, but wasn't an issue until I bought a fucking house.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:13, Reply)
What sort of prices?
My old lawyer was a member* of one, but I hated him.



*lol
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:27, Reply)
I paid £2-3k a year
which got me a few weekends in sill machines (Porsche 944 was great, so was original Scoobydoo on a weekend in Isle Of Man), and some nice newer cars to go away in. The only thing that really put me off is the excess on the insurance. Could be up to a grand on some cars which was terrifying - came back to the car park once to see someone had scraped along the side of a Jag I was driving. £750 of damage that I was responsible for. Managed to get it back as we knew who did it, but that really put me off.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:46, Reply)

bath noise therapy meditation and yoga farming
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:43, Reply)
Alright, Terry Deary

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:10, Reply)
Yeah, it was a bit obscure
but I was fairly sure someone would get it
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:11, Reply)
take a load of mushrooms and insist on listening to Camembert Electrique during the session

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:44, Reply)
I love that LP

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:40, Reply)

that LP cock
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:43, Reply)
hi
jolly windy here
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:55, Reply)
please to meet you, Mr Windy

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:56, Reply)
morning
I fear I'm out of a job. Boss told the warehouse firm to fuck off last night. 22 years I've been doing this. Bit daunting
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:56, Reply)
D:

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:57, Reply)
How much stuff do you sell,
I can borrow the college van and take a few boxes I reckon.

Seriously though, it does sound a bit scary, but after that long I'm sure you'll be able to pick up a job at a similar firm
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:00, Reply)
I hope so

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:01, Reply)
you'll be alright m8
you've got loads of marketable skills
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:03, Reply)
Get some professional advice ASAP

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:04, Reply)
^ This.
The more action you can take now in anticipation, the better, whatever happens.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:18, Reply)
Sorry to be so thick but from whom and about what?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:25, Reply)
a doctor about your stinky helmit m8

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:28, Reply)
good idea - maybe I'll get a bedside manner anecdote out of it!

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:31, Reply)
"the doctor emptied his spit bucket down my sink after he did his taste test. 2/5 would not recommend"

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:32, Reply)
"the doctor started showing me the cctv footage from his greenhouse and I nearly died of boredom"

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:37, Reply)
ACAS
voice your concerns find out what the process should be if your boss decides to shut up shop - all that sort of thing.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:29, Reply)
will do, ta
not really sure why I've come in this morning tbh
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:30, Reply)
Have a look at their website and give them a bell lunchtime.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:31, Reply)
So that you can walk the floor and reassure all your underlings that you're in the shit along with them
so that they don't start blaming you for all the fuckups, and so that they remember you fondly (ie good references) if you all have to move on.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:33, Reply)
Blame for all the fuckups is squarely at my boss's door
That's one of the problems with micromanagement - if you insist on making every single decision about everything in your business, then you can't share the blame for the results of those decisions...
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:36, Reply)
yer, last startup I worked at was like that
Didn't stop the boss from trying, and refusing to offer references after the inevitable collapse.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:41, Reply)
Unless you're Idi Amin.
Then you can blame your subordinates for not persuading you to make a different decision.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:51, Reply)
"don't try to stop me smee don't stop me smee smee stop me smee SMEE!"

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:56, Reply)
all of his subordinates were sacked last Christmas
there's a rather unfortunate inevitability about this whole sorry business
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:57, Reply)
Outsourcing one of the key parts of your business does seem a little short sighted to me,

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:44, Reply)
Typical Corbynista.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:47, Reply)
Warehouse rent went up 100% and was no longer viable, and we couldn't find another one even remotely near

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:06, Reply)
Really sorry to hear that mate
There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said. Is there any chance that it'll work out alright?
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:56, Reply)
Practically none I reckon

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:09, Reply)
Damn
Well all the best. Keep me posted.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:10, Reply)
take early retirement and move to Bournemouth

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:58, Reply)
Oh crap
I hope your new job still allows you to spend as much time on this place tho
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:00, Reply)
Remember: no deal is better than a bad deal.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:02, Reply)
Thanks "Theresa May"

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:36, Reply)
Build a new warehouse and make the owners of the old one pay for it.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:48, Reply)
Could do some crowd funding and then Victor Kiam the place.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:46, Reply)
eff that

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:06, Reply)
Morning.
Blustery, confrontational and sulky so far. The wind'd take the paint off a mooring bollard; two people waiting for the tram got into an argument and got vaguely fighty; and the atmosphere in the office is at its usual "right in the middle of a bitter divorce" level of friendship and lulz.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:17, Reply)
I suspect there's a river of evil pink mood slime flowing under your town

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:23, Reply)
It would explain a lot on days like this.
I should probably finish cleaning that big painting of a grumpy bloke that's been hanging on the office wall since the New Year.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:37, Reply)
try not to steal any babies, k?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:48, Reply)
Fortunately that's not likely to happen.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:50, Reply)
^ is like the buzzing of flies

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:58, Reply)
The wind blew our Christmas tree over
sad morning
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:19, Reply)
why the fuck have you still got a christmas tree up, you stupid pillock?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:24, Reply)
It was in its plant pot outside in the garden
waiting for the spring so it could grow bigger. Now its on its side and the pot is in pieces.

You arse.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:01, Reply)
in all honesty, you deserved it.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:18, Reply)
You are needlessly harsh and judgemental

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:47, Reply)
your tree is needleless m8

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:51, Reply)
Oh, very good. Very good indeed.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:18, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:36, Reply)
short and to the point
like an IKEA pencil
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:41, Reply)
they built one of those hideous blue monstrosities in our city centre right next to a 14th century church
but the plus side is that I never have to go there, previously if my wife wanted to go I had to drive her to Wednesbury
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:48, Reply)
they're building a new one down the road from me
which is awful from a traffic perspective, but good that I don't have to schlep to the other side of the city next time the wife drops an armful of crockery, which she does on a semi-regular basis.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:52, Reply)
hi

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:58, Reply)
hiyaaa

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:02, Reply)
skrrrt!!
i.imgur.com/6BAK9e8.jpg
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:39, Reply)
Unlike gong farming, I don't understand this at all.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:57, Reply)
Yes.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:04, Reply)
glad you could finally drag yourself in.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:07, Reply)
I'd drag myself out, but it's a bit chilly, this morning.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:11, Reply)
Getting a dog
Name suggestions please.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:04, Reply)
Cuntpuncher

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:23, Reply)
That
would be a nice thing to shout in the park.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:03, Reply)
OH JESUS CHRIST CUNTPUNCHER

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:05, Reply)
vestal masturbation knock-off spotted in singapore market

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 22:15, Reply)
Cradle of filth lyric spotted.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 0:33, Reply)
now my shirt a guy on another forum made it

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 0:53, Reply)

vestal masturbation andrew lloyd webber
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:42, Reply)
You better beware
You better take care
You better watch if you got long black hair
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 21:34, Reply)
He'll come from behind
Disgusting
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:07, Reply)
Landshark shitmachine

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:32, Reply)
Lover of the Russian queen

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 21:29, Reply)
Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:34, Reply)
My brother's cat was called tugwell Gibson the third

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:38, Reply)
Doggy McCuntface

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:35, Reply)
Lives in a gaff that smells like where a gibbon has been
It isn't clean
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 21:38, Reply)
Surrogate

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:38, Reply)
Did you see they found Steve McQueen's car from bullitt, god know what that's worth

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:48, Reply)
I heard they found A car a while back, in some Mexican scrapyard or summink
quite a few were used though, so it's not the only one about.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:03, Reply)
This
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.vanityfair.com/style/2018/01/steve-mcqueen-lost-bullitt-mustang-is-unveiled/amp
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:07, Reply)
I'd still rather have Paul Newman's watch

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:09, Reply)
that's pretty impressive
and it mentions that Mexican jump car too. Good find.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:28, Reply)
Apparently it's still go the studio pass sticker to park and get in

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:48, Reply)
mint
I'm glad the lad has kept the patina on it. Too many old classics getting resprayed.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 22:04, Reply)
Menstrual Bloodfart

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:48, Reply)
Is that unisex?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:49, Reply)
Yeah, I reckon

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:52, Reply)
#infest

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:28, Reply)
picks up the rice In the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 21:32, Reply)
Hitler

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:54, Reply)
Cat

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:58, Reply)
call it lol, then you can say this is my dog, lol and people will say what's his name, and you'll say lol

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:01, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:04, Reply)
In which case
I shall call it yatwat. This is my dog yatwat.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:06, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:06, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 21:34, Reply)
b3ta

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 22:25, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 22:51, Reply)
cheers

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:26, Reply)
pauly pops

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:27, Reply)
I hope you buy one of gonzo's knitted leads.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:29, Reply)
are they
heavy being made of lead?
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:40, Reply)
Don't be a melvin.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 21:09, Reply)
Genghis Fuckpaws

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 21:15, Reply)
sitting up a tree
h-o-w-l-i-n-g
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 21:37, Reply)
Guntry Blumpkin

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 21:40, Reply)
whoah wait a minute there's no need to change your name just because you're getting a dog

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 22:19, Reply)
Mum

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 22:36, Reply)
Sexdog

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 22:49, Reply)
That's wot I call ur nan lol

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:13, Reply)
tom bones

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:17, Reply)
mick wagger

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:18, Reply)
dog stewart

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:18, Reply)
englebert humpaleg

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:19, Reply)
disgusting

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:22, Reply)
Mohammed

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 22:59, Reply)
Dogald Trump

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:01, Reply)
Willy Bum Bum is a good name for a dog, I reckon.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:12, Reply)
Bark Fuckerberg

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:26, Reply)
Dave.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 4:44, Reply)
I don't want to do any more work. I don't want to go to the gym tonight.
what'd don't you want to do?
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:57, Reply)
spend the rest of this winter TIED TO THIS FUCKING COUCH!

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:00, Reply)
50 Shades of Smasher

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:01, Reply)
frequently seen in charity shops all across the country?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:03, Reply)
hey, i was only in there making a donation!

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:04, Reply)
You crazy Californian child you!!!

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:04, Reply)
I love that film.
Must be due a rewatch.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:06, Reply)
same here
might watch it tonight
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:11, Reply)
New years resolution to get off the fucken jenkem

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:02, Reply)
"jucken fenkem" I calls it.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:07, Reply)
when have you ever called it that?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:10, Reply)
Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:07

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:48, Reply)
I don't want to do anything

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:08, Reply)
and you know what? You don't have to

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:10, Reply)
I have to put my coat on and go home at some point.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:11, Reply)
Well, you *should* do that
But you don't have to
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:12, Reply)
I want chicken nuggets

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:13, Reply)
get some on the way home
done
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:14, Reply)
I don't pass anywhere that sells them on my way home.
If I was walking I could take a short detour to a macca but I'm borrowing the van to get some wood and you can't drive in to town anymore.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:19, Reply)
I don't know what to tell you, m8

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:28, Reply)
try one delivery or ubereats
they'll bring mcdonalds right to your front door. imagine that
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:33, Reply)
I thought just eat had maccys locked down

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:40, Reply)
oh maybe it's different in different regions
just eat don't have mcdonalds round here
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 17:41, Reply)
You just want the happy meal toy, don't you?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:54, Reply)
I don't wanna
Talk about it
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:11, Reply)
I'm feeling sad after thinking about that song
:(
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:14, Reply)
me too m8, sad about how fucking bent it is

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:15, Reply)
Well cheer up
It isn't like your co-workers want to lynch you or anything.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:19, Reply)
I don't wanna go to war, I don't wanna go to war
I said I know what I want and I don't wanna go war - do you follow me?
I saw a soldier standing in a bar
Looked so tired he'd come so far
He said "I need to love someone, before they drop the atom bomb"
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:17, Reply)
I'm feeling sad after thinking about that song
:(
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:18, Reply)
Bent

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:19, Reply)
Thats what pricks do
Stop being a prick
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:20, Reply)
You tell 'im m8

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:21, Reply)
^upset

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:27, Reply)
right in the Lindups

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:33, Reply)
live

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:22, Reply)

If living is without you
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:24, Reply)
I didn't want to talk to my old mate Gordon as he'd worked for carrilion for 30 years, turns out he tupe'd to iss in November

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:35, Reply)
Jihadi John'd it has he?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:37, Reply)
Nah just joined another shit facilities company, and having worked for them I'd rather blow myself up in iraq, still each to their own

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:39, Reply)
tupe'd to iss?
is that something do do with the middle east?
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:37, Reply)
No, transfer under previous employment to iss world, a company worse than shit

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:41, Reply)

youtu.be/j58V2vC9EPc
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 18:57, Reply)
Crap up the wall, it's 12.22
My hangover is getting worse. What's getting worse for you?
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:22, Reply)
My muff guffs are kicking off something chronic

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:24, Reply)
Get muffler

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:36, Reply)
+we're up all night to

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:37, Reply)

gfycat.com/LimpingScaredLeonberger
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:05, Reply)
life

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:25, Reply)
+ is the name of the game, and I wanna play the game with you

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:26, Reply)
thank you
x
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:27, Reply)
Mine is getting better by the day

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:36, Reply)
oh life

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:15, Reply)
b3ta

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:28, Reply)
Yup

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:38, Reply)
My hair
Fading badly and needs recolouring
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:29, Reply)
Go blue

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:38, Reply)
Always do

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:07, Reply)
not sure

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:30, Reply)
Ok, no pressure

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:38, Reply)
getting excited now, windus
February 2nd.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:41, Reply)
I'm excited too
Can't wait for the housewarming party
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:43, Reply)
you can come visit, if you like

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:44, Reply)
homosexualwarming party more like!

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:26, Reply)
no one likes a cold homosexual

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:40, Reply)
terrible bullying of bent eskimos

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:18, Reply)
"No, that's just frost on my mustache."

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:30, Reply)
^blown a seal

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:55, Reply)
Eskihomos

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:00, Reply)
the weather
sun's coming out and melting the snow but not enough to evaporate, so it'll melt into sheet ice by the evening.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:32, Reply)
The pain between contractions

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:32, Reply)
France, apparently
Mum just phoned to tell me their hotel room got burgled. Fuckers got £200.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:36, Reply)
I bet it was immigrants

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:52, Reply)
Hotel staff probably
The police aren't helping and her insurance company are on about a £200 waiver or somesuch, so it's not worth claiming
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:12, Reply)
So... They paid for insurance to not be insured?
Cunts.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:21, Reply)
(the insurers, btw)

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:21, Reply)
yep
they're going to be back in the same area tomorrow, so they're going to see if anything's been done
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:26, Reply)

frinkiac.com/video/S07E23/DT_3bC9y3N-7y881x7cwRFcoAWA=.gif
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:20, Reply)
pff

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:56, Reply)

r
£200
their Andrew Sisters LP.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:04, Reply)
She prefers Marty Robbins

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:09, Reply)
Ask me about Hoteloom

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:12, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8144532
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:45, Reply)
The level of my employees' satisfaction at getting paid in bitcoin.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:36, Reply)
market's not doing too great at the moment

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:37, Reply)
You can say that again.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:39, Reply)
I spread mine across LTC and ripple too
and 30 quid on TRON cos the name made me giggle.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:40, Reply)
I spread mine across your nan last christmas, m8
and when she giggled, it made her TRON ripple
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:42, Reply)
Woah

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:43, Reply)
don't shoot the messenger, m8

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:44, Reply)
bloody hell m8, have you no decency?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:47, Reply)
I'm more surprised that you feel the need to ask that question

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:47, Reply)
Was it ever going to be anything other than a bubble?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:42, Reply)
Bitcoin? Hard to say
But there are other "coins" out there that actually have a purpose, like Ripple. Trouble is, as long as the market is unregulated, any bank or fund can step in and manipulate the fuck out of it, which is what's going on at the moment.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:46, Reply)
The story this morning
was that bitcoin's rise in value from $150 to $1,000 was thought to have been perpetuated by one single person. Make of that what you will.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:49, Reply)
I made a picture of a bumhole out of it

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:51, Reply)
Sound investment there.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:52, Reply)
Cor

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:53, Reply)
Even regulated that can happen, people were fucking carillon for two weeks before the collapse, selling one dollar debts at 45cents

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:55, Reply)
next you'll be telling me self-regulation doesn't work

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:02, Reply)
Nothing works

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:38, Reply)
What is the use of ripple then?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:01, Reply)
It's like a flake but nicer

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:02, Reply)
The token itself doesn't have much value because there are so many of them (compared to BTC's 21m)
but the protocol/blockchain it uses can process transactions so much faster than other coins. Japan and Korea have been testing it to replace bank-to-bank transfers. So each transaction costs pennies, compared to Bitcoin's $15-$20 "mining charge".
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:03, Reply)

Today has been like
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:19, Reply)
when I awoke at 11 I got blinded by snow and sunshine outside.
i'm staying inside today.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:55, Reply)
Im quite fine actually
Coasting through the week.
Working minimal.

Birthday at the weekend with a friend visiting on Friday.
Can't grumble at all.

YAWN
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:07, Reply)
Cool story, bro.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:24, Reply)
She says...
Rambling old cunt.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:37, Reply)
At least I've got summat to say, yer cheeky get.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:38, Reply)
My employment prospects
It's all kicked off again with these warehouse pricks and now they've downed tools.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:07, Reply)
that's immigrants for you.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:19, Reply)
Threaten to go down there and knock their heads against the wall

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:19, Reply)
Stage a dirty protest until they capitulate to your demands.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:23, Reply)
done

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:11, Reply)
Did Bernard Bresslaw shout "EVERYBODY OUT"?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:24, Reply)
Sorry to tell you like this but I'm afraid he's dead

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:31, Reply)
^

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:41, Reply)
I thought they'd addressed that in Carry On Screaming?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:49, Reply)
one of my least favourites

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:12, Reply)
bollocks
it's one of the better ones. carry on girls, now that was shit
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:20, Reply)
Not one of the strongest
but there are worse than that. Emmanuelle is pretty poor. Girls is just awful.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:20, Reply)
Carry on Columbus is the greatest of them all

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:22, Reply)
k, reporting this for trolling

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:24, Reply)
Emmanuelle is dreadful
Regardless isn't that good, either. basically, anything with peter butterworth having some form of breakdown in it is worth watching, apart from the aforementioned shite
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:38, Reply)
Don't Lose Your Head and Up The Khyber are my favourites

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:51, Reply)
Camping and At Your Convenience also, of course

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:53, Reply)
Your love of camp is also well documented.
Gosh, it's like they've given these films suggestive names on purpose!
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:56, Reply)
my vote goes to abroad
closely followed by henry
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:57, Reply)
Henry is great, for sure

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:03, Reply)
still got quite a few of them
but they're on vhs
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 16:12, Reply)
Yes, we all know you love it up the khyber.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:54, Reply)
lol, up the workers!

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:31, Reply)
Not sure the senior account managers of a multi-million pound warehousing conglomerate *quite* count as 'the workers' but yes, up them

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:43, Reply)
You london liberal elites don't even know

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:44, Reply)
If I've learnt anything from the Carillion debacle,
it's that now is the time to award yourself a large bonus.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:52, Reply)
Good thinking

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:11, Reply)
I worked for them years ago, I accept my part in the downfall, I creamed it there booking 24 hr days

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:26, Reply)
nice

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:43, Reply)
become a youtuber

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:02, Reply)
way ahead of you brah

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:11, Reply)
Just had something get the opposite of worse.
The guy from the job interview's just called to ask me to come and meet the management next week. Second stage, here we come.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:40, Reply)
good luck

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:41, Reply)
Thanks babez.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:43, Reply)
have you been asked 'where you see yourself in five years time' yet?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:42, Reply)
Yes, actually! They wheeled out that old chestnut the first time round.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:44, Reply)
Not a Yeti thread.
Is it really worth forking out on speaker cable? I'm not talking about ridiculous 'audiophile' shit but mid range vs cheapo.

Which things will you only settle for the very best on, and on what can you get away with cheap stuff?
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:22, Reply)
Bog roll and washing up liquid cannot be scrimped on imho

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:23, Reply)
We buy both in bulk from Costco.
Cheap and good quality.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:29, Reply)
Aldi, again...

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:42, Reply)
muff

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:24, Reply)
oh, muff

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:38, Reply)
oh muuu-uuuu-uffff
doo doo doo do
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:19, Reply)
y deffo
and decent phono leads
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:26, Reply)
Agreed, have a look on what hi-fi for recommendations, they know their shit

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:29, Reply)

No it's all bollocks. Snake oil.
Speaker cable: thicker the better, low resistance is what u want. Can use 2 core mains flex.
Interconnects, anything more robust than the shit that comes in the box.
I say this as a sound engineer and former employee of what-hi-fi mag.
check out CPC Farnel.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:57, Reply)
No thanks

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:00, Reply)
who are you?
also; fuck off
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:09, Reply)

thanks!
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:11, Reply)
He / she's a sound engineer and former employee of what-hi-fi mag, durrr

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:15, Reply)
best not to ask too much about the 'former' bit

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:15, Reply)
sacked for huffing jenkem in the toilets
two hats take note
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:17, Reply)

It was the MD's son in the potting shed
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:19, Reply)
kept writing u instead of you, probably

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:23, Reply)
fuck off you fucking stupid fucking cunt

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:22, Reply)
i was only trying to help...
Thought he'd rather save the cash u spent on bullshit for hashish and Adidas.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:21, Reply)
I always used fairly good speaker wire in the past

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:26, Reply)
I only wear the very best watches

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:29, Reply)
Lies

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:29, Reply)
I managed to get a replacement for the Emporio Armani watch that got nicked from my car. It's pretty good, most people wouldn't even know it's a fake.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:31, Reply)
A fake Armani watch? Ffs the real ones are shit

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:32, Reply)
I've had several compliments from patients about it. One of them even offered to buy it.
I clearly have excellent taste.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:42, Reply)
I just looked at the current collection, I don't like any of them

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:49, Reply)
Ooh, just seen one the same as mine but in black. Might see if I can find a knock-off one of them.
cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1418/6532/products/ar2453.jpg?v=1494413164
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:00, Reply)
Black hands on a black dial, no very easy to read , and it looks shit

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:03, Reply)
Black hands are just as good as white ones you terrible racist

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:07, Reply)
But you can't see them, they could have put some lume on them, but I suppose a 200 quid quartz watch doesn't warrant that

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:09, Reply)
65.99 for the watch, could lume them myself but can't seem to find anywhere that sells radium paint though.
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Emporio-Armani-AR-2453-Luxury-style-mens-watch-RRP-248-no-box/232631441366?hash=item3629ea17d6:g:4pAAAOSwqbxaFCaE
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:14, Reply)
Picture one the date wheel is black with white numerals, the date wheel is white in the other pictures, looks better with the black date wheel

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:19, Reply)
Well spotted! Thanks.
Probably wouldn't have bought it though, I already have 2 watches including the armani one and my great grandfathers gold pocket watch, don't see why anyone would need more watches than that.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:30, Reply)
Most phones have the time in them, no need for watches anymore, dunno why they bother

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:38, Reply)
Exactly, people should just do this instead
cdn.instructables.com/F81/009S/IB8IX4LR/F81009SIB8IX4LR.MEDIUM.jpg
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:41, Reply)
That's what I do - I wear one on each wrist for extra cool points

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:42, Reply)
Plus an ipad on a gold chain round your neck?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:59, Reply)
tggi

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:10, Reply)
I must admit after sihh I'm really excited for baselworld, I just don't know what rolex are going to launch this year , I can't think of which watch they will tinker with

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:54, Reply)
don't forget to lick the brush

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:03, Reply)
phossy jaw lolz

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:15, Reply)
I've just laid some quality cable.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:30, Reply)
Me too but mine was rather frayed at the edges

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:32, Reply)
I did one yesterday that basically stood up in the bowl
like I'd dropped a telegraph pole in there.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:55, Reply)
I don't buy into all that magical shielded premium grade copper bullshit
but you need to make sure your leads have decent quality plugs on them and that the rubber cable protector bit won't snap off at the slightest wiggle.

Speaker cable won't do shit if your room acoustics have been ignored, as that's the biggest source of audio interference.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:32, Reply)
^ what he said

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:35, Reply)
What he said

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:45, Reply)
Sadly I have a large open plan sitting room (they knocked sitting and dining rooms into one)
I also have pretty crappy Tannoy speakers I got from the Music and Video exchange - but in my old place it sounded more than fine, perhaps because it was concrete? New place sounds rubbish
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:46, Reply)
if you've just moved in, you might have lots of hard exposed surfaces causing echoes, especially the floor
Lots of bookshelves and some canvas prints are a good cheap solution.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:49, Reply)
Are the speakers on proper stands ? Paving slabs under speakers help

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:54, Reply)
Nah
They're on top of my record crates

Might look into paving slabs but I think my wife would go mental. Apparently 4 guitars in the room makes it look 'studenty' :(
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:57, Reply)
Get some stands, makes a big difference

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:01, Reply)
noted, ta

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:06, Reply)
Srs these guys won't stear you wrong
www.whathifi.com/products/accessories/speaker-stands
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:08, Reply)
nice one
Might see if I can wangle some as some kind of anniversary present
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:10, Reply)
I hope you've sold your bitcoins

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:22, Reply)
My name's Richard mcbeef off the internet and I can't bear it when I'm not the centre of attention!
Decent headphones really are a game-changer and are worth forking out for.

Cheapo shoes and kitchen gadgets are a false bargain because they break and fall apart within a month and you end up spending more on replacing them than you would have spent on something mid-range in the first place.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:34, Reply)
ffs it wasn't a cry for attention m8
'has a doctor ever been rude to you?' is a fucking awful thread idea, don't blame me for that.

By all means everyone tell me I was mistaken if you disagree
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:37, Reply)
it clearly was a cry for attention m8
but it's ok, we're here for you
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:40, Reply)
I'm not

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:42, Reply)
me neither

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:47, Reply)
You are mistaken.
I mean, I like to disagree with you on general principle, but still...
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:46, Reply)
Righto m8, let's hear your riveting tales of rude doctors

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:53, Reply)
I reserve my disdain for their receptionists.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:02, Reply)
look at *DIS* stain, m8
*points at crotch*
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:06, Reply)
You should probably see a doctor.
A rude one, at that.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:29, Reply)
and then start a thread about it, got it

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:33, Reply)

👍
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:43, Reply)
black hands are harder to see, ma8e

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:10, Reply)
that's why they're so good at stealing

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:16, Reply)
Thanks for giving the thread a generous sixty seconds in which to get off the ground before imposing your opinion with that threadstomp though.
With an opening gambit like speaker cables, there might just be a way to shoehorn in a discussion about your tastes in music for a change.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:54, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8144430
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:57, Reply)
If we weren't rude to everyone the whole NHS would collapse.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:05, Reply)
^ upset

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:42, Reply)
for cables and stuff I always go on amazon and cheapest first.
Get something shipped over from China for a penny.

Condiments and ingredients can be scrimped on (veg and tinned toms)
Aldi do some great cheap wines and spirits. We had a Christmas full of Topaz Blue, which is their version of Bombay Sapphire.

Moral of the story is, Im a cheap cow...
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:41, Reply)
This is entirely wrong on every level

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:42, Reply)
It's amazing Ive survived as long, tbh

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:43, Reply)
That gin isn't bad actually

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:54, Reply)
Is there nothing on which you spend decent money?
Not even massive drugs?
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:55, Reply)
Not really... I get what is acceptable I suppose.
Never been one for opulence.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:59, Reply)
The wire is negligible so you can always go for the prettiest, as long as the connectors are decent you'll be fine.
Unless you have shedloads of electrical equipment in the room so magnetic fields and stuff are strong otherwise the shielding needs to be just alright.

Never skimp on food and the mrs's brakes on her car. And hifi equipment :(
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:44, Reply)
I copied all my CDs at a lowish bitrate, and listen to them through my TV.
I reckon audiophiles would love me.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:48, Reply)
Did that in '99 when working on an audio tech degree
Anyone who wants a "pure" audio experience is an idiot with their PIN number tattoo'd on their forehead.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:52, Reply)
A friend of mine told me I was stupid for converting everything to MP3 and that FLAC was SO much better
He didn't agree with my opinion that I thought it didn't really matter when I only really put music on when I'm doing the washing up
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:04, Reply)
^ hands that do dishes whilst feeling the bass

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:12, Reply)
Nerd shit:
192kbs is fine. 320kbs is likeable. FLAC is for people who are pricks.

Case in point, pricks who buy these.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:22, Reply)
I reckon FLAC would be a good choice if I wanted a high quality backup,
but 128kbps (WMV, for reasons I don't remember) is more than sufficient for listening in the car (which was my original intent).
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:34, Reply)
Nerd shit
You can probably hear most of the beat, most of the vocal range, and a large bit of guitar and keyboards over the sound of the road and engine noise going on around you.

And you sing over it loudly and badly.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:39, Reply)
You know me so well.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:44, Reply)
PIN Number
Personal identification number number?
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:55, Reply)
Yes
The PIN number of a Personal identification number number
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:58, Reply)
You big fat idiot

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:44, Reply)
u

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:58, Reply)
Shoes, coats, whisky and car tyres are the only things where I really care about quality these days

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:47, Reply)
I can happily drink £4 white wine if it's chilled enough, but these days I can't abide cheap red, it's fucking foul

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:58, Reply)
never skimp on medical care

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:48, Reply)
always invest in a good quality yarmulke

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:52, Reply)
I just use an old doily and pritt stick

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:55, Reply)

old d
and
itt st

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:57, Reply)
this thread is making me a bit sad as i think i cheap out on basically everything
THANKS richard
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:56, Reply)
do you buy your cat expensive cat meat?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:58, Reply)
no, she has dry food
so her shit don't stank
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:00, Reply)
A quality one tho? Bad for the kitty's kidneys otherwise

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:05, Reply)
yeah, not the shit stuff
i asked the vet if the one i was buying was ok and got the all clear
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:08, Reply)
someone once told me that Go-Cat is like cheap whizz for cats

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:08, Reply)
that explains mine getting cancer

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:16, Reply)
A friend of mine adopted a kitten and gave him cheap kibbles because she didn't know any better.
Then she had to take him to the vet because the cheap kibbles gave him crystals in his penis.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:11, Reply)
"suck on this, it's a gem!"
hahaha...wait
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:11, Reply)
I hope she named it Alastair.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:37, Reply)
Why?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:12, Reply)
Because it had a crystal tip.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:14, Reply)
Blimey, that's a vintage reference.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:23, Reply)
welcs, brah

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:59, Reply)
they sell welcs down at the dockyard

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:13, Reply)
lol cockles and winkles

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:18, Reply)
alive alive, oh!

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:21, Reply)
kennethwilliams.jpg

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:29, Reply)

frinkiac.com/video/S11E09/MrDSZ_q8_Y6ZJXdZLeuCst80H1M=.gif
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:00, Reply)
exactly, plus:
frinkiac.com/video/S08E03/iVu--LfAkP09UXrMYAql8ywAm_E=.gif
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:02, Reply)

frinkiac.com/meme/S11E05/641360.jpg?b64lines=V0VMTCwgTEEtREVFLURBLAogTVIuIFBBUksgQVZFTlVFIE1BTklDVVJFLg==
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:06, Reply)
Dude, dude, think about it.
She's out in the middle of nowhere with some dude she barely knows, she looks around, what does she see, nothing but open ocean. (Imitating female voice) "Oh, there's nowhere for me to run. What am I going to do? Say no?"
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:19, Reply)
don't you look at me like that
you certainly wouldn't be in any danger!
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:29, Reply)
Fucken bin liners
washing up liquid and bin liners
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:11, Reply)
+ and a strong shovel to dig the hole

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:14, Reply)
oh yeah bin liners for sure

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:28, Reply)

washing up liquid and bin liners how do they work?
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:42, Reply)
Drawstrings
For his pleasure
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 11:59, Reply)
Hark, what thread from yonder forum breaks
The physiotherapist at my first appointment yesterday was a lovely young lass, as was her colleague, both boiling over with positive energy. Unlike the sour old git who saw me in A&E and who gave me an uncompassionate look as if to say "You big fat idiot". Best and worst bedside manner chat.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:14, Reply)
you big fat idiot

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:17, Reply)
^ sour old git

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:19, Reply)
no m8

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:19, Reply)
^ Numpty Dumpty

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:21, Reply)
morning

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 7:38, Reply)
I saw a punk band and bought their cassette.
It was like going back in time.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 7:49, Reply)
I wouldn't even know where to buy a cassette deck these days
I don't own any dedicated music-playing equipment any more
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 7:51, Reply)
Build your own

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 7:53, Reply)
I've cobbled together an amp from spare parts before, but it was unsurprisingly shit
and I built that PC into my car primarily for tunes, if that counts.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:01, Reply)
Does it play cassettes?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:02, Reply)
nah, it plugged into a cheap Creative Zen player and a pair of old car speakers
so that I could listen to shit metal while working in my garage
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:04, Reply)
I really want a garage

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:10, Reply)
I have an iddy biddy diddy garage
it's big enough for a motorbike and a couple of bicycles

Amazing how quickly it fills up with shit too.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:15, Reply)
I can park my jag in my garage
but I have to breathe in to have enough room to get out of the car.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:17, Reply)
Fit a scissor door

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:20, Reply)
I thought "no-one's that retarded"
but yes, someone's fitted lambo doors to an X-type.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:31, Reply)
Argos

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 7:55, Reply)
+z

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 7:56, Reply)
we don't have anything like that here
for some reason Poles don't seem keen on Elizabeth Duke jewellery
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:01, Reply)
They are on ebay, I was pointing out they a freely available to buy

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:25, Reply)

ten quid, sorted.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:40, Reply)
I had to dig one out to listen to tangled posters cassette.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 7:59, Reply)
I hope you chucked both into a skip immediately afterwards

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:00, Reply)
I actually thought it was alright.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:06, Reply)
^ was wowed and fluttered

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:14, Reply)
xx

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:51, Reply)
'the internet' is quite a good place to buy things

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:50, Reply)
he'll need to get something to get onto the internet with though
probably from argos
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:52, Reply)
they don't have any branches near me
i'd have to take two buses :(
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:53, Reply)
I have TWO within a couple of miles
*posh*
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:43, Reply)
bloody gentrification

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:59, Reply)
that's as generic as saying "the shops" though innit
surely for such an outdated format you'd want a proper shop that knew what they were talking about, like Richer sounds or whatever the Polish equivalent would be. Otherwise you'd end up with Chinese junk that wouldn't do justice to whatever noise tangles has committed to tape form.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:55, Reply)
I'm not sure the sound quality available on cassette warrants all that fucking about.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:57, Reply)
I remember all the fuss about hiss reduction and some switch to select different tape types (metallic?)
so clearly these a scale to this analog shittery people still dick around with.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:58, Reply)
*'joke' about snakes*

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:43, Reply)
Is it snakey joke time

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:51, Reply)
I ASPect so

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:55, Reply)
I think it was mastered for dolby c if that helps

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:04, Reply)
give it a sock, and it will be set free

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:06, Reply)
You've clearly never heard Tangles' band

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:04, Reply)
you're right, I should gaz him a link

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:05, Reply)
deffo

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:08, Reply)
Just found this
www.oxfordprison.co.uk/
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:05, Reply)
I walk past it every morning.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:06, Reply)
Oh right
Is it full of "quirky" hipsters looking for something "different"?
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:11, Reply)
No. It's a soulless chain hotel with a stupid gimmick
It's worth going in for a beer and having a wander about, the old .etal staircases are still there and there is some interesting history.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:14, Reply)
Ultra noisy surely, all that metal if people are coming and going of a night time
unless there's a prison-style "everyone must be in their cells by 10 for lights out"
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:19, Reply)
ultra low noise metal
tdk innit
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:22, Reply)
I think there's a normal staircase for access as well.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:29, Reply)
I saw Václav Havel's old prison cell in Prague, in another prison that's become a hotel.
Their concession to brightening up the decor was to paint the bars of the cell doors hot pink.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:11, Reply)
^ booked the Gay Bridal Suite

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:18, Reply)
They missed a trick, really: it would have made a perfect gay bondage dungeon.
They probably thought that was 'disrespectful to the heritage of a national leader' or something.

Also: morning.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:22, Reply)
Five nights in the JK Simmons room, please

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:24, Reply)
Are you rushing or are you in-dragging?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:27, Reply)
I'd book the room next door
and when I heard a happy couple going at it, I'd scream through the wall "ARE YOU DRAGGING OR RUSHING?!"
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:37, Reply)

i1.theportalwiki.net/img/b/ba/Cave_Johnson_fifties_fourth_test_complete01.wav
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:42, Reply)
Best video game voice acting EVAR.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:52, Reply)
H.H. Holmes Hotel
Need an inheritance in a hurry? Send your unwanted relatives to a H.H. Holmes Hotel.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:30, Reply)
Morning
I should be doing work
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:16, Reply)
I've got very little to do today
but I don't want to bunk off cos its minus 5 and snowing a blizzard outside.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:19, Reply)
Yep

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:29, Reply)
that's the can-do attitude this place needs more of.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:32, Reply)
i guess

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:41, Reply)
Hey, I can sort out the van if you need a hand moving house.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:48, Reply)
that's very kind, but it's in hand

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:52, Reply)
Oh. Ok.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:55, Reply)
You can come and make drinks for people, that will be helpful

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:58, Reply)
No no, if you don't want me there you just had to say.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:12, Reply)
i'd love you to be there

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:22, Reply)
lol wanking

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:33, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:44, Reply)
haha yes

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:48, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:07, Reply)
hi

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:51, Reply)
hello

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:53, Reply)
well fancy seeing you here

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:54, Reply)
I pop my head round the door, from time to time

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:55, Reply)

p my head round the d o on the fl
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:20, Reply)
get schwifty

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:33, Reply)
Lick my flappy holdy holds
you son of a bitch
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:48, Reply)
windy PMd me and told me your tape was shit but he didn't want to hurt your feelings

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:56, Reply)
Hang on.
It's a Gaz, not a PM
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:58, Reply)
Yeah - and the phrase was 'unlistenable wank', not 'shit'

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:06, Reply)
well why would you tell me something like that?
unless you wanted to hurt my feelings
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:05, Reply)
the problem with your band is that you're just not symphonic enough for the likes of Grrry

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:07, Reply)
occam's razor cuts again

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:08, Reply)
hi

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:52, Reply)
oh, I tried to say 'hello' but it wouldn't let me post the same word twice
this fucking site, I swear to god
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:54, Reply)
it's the thought that counts, m8

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:09, Reply)
just stick a <whatever> tag in the body of the post and it'll let you

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:17, Reply)
see?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:18, Reply)
see?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:18, Reply)
see?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:18, Reply)
see?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:18, Reply)
or just hit the spacebar at the end of the word

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:29, Reply)
or that

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:32, Reply)
cheers

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:31, Reply)
Cheers

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:34, Reply)
Cheers

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:39, Reply)
Cheers

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:40, Reply)
YES

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:57, Reply)

youtu.be/5HeEwPoDGnw
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:54, Reply)
jesus H christ m8

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:57, Reply)
hi

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:55, Reply)
are you biting McBeef's style?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:59, Reply)
amongst other things

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:18, Reply)
This will have to be resolved by battling

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:19, Reply)

style thumb
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:28, Reply)
^

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:59, Reply)
hello

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:23, Reply)
oh yeah!
cheers
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:23, Reply)
cheers

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:26, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8144372
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:32, Reply)
happy birthday Zooey Deschanel!

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:01, Reply)
without wanting to go all dozer
it's a y from me
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:03, Reply)
n
oooh i'm zooey, oooh i'm all quirky and that, ooooh

that's how she talks
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:46, Reply)
by jove
you're right!
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:17, Reply)
lols

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:33, Reply)
phew, i thought no-one would see it now there's 2 new threads

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:42, Reply)
I'm late for a meeting.
But not too late for the morning thread.
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:11, Reply)
this is a meeting m8, we're all suited and booted and there's biscuits and everything

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:13, Reply)
Haven't you got a speakerphone I can dial in to?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:15, Reply)
WEbex or GTFO

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:19, Reply)
Hi. Just realised I forgot to put the recycling out last night. I'm gonna be in trouble when I get home :(

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:23, Reply)
is your life really that shit?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:26, Reply)
where's brb when you need them, eh?

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:26, Reply)
killed himself

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:28, Reply)
oh

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:30, Reply)
Ay oop chuck

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:43, Reply)
like MDMA crushed up into wrigleys
E by gum
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:46, Reply)
Yes I would like, thanks

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:47, Reply)

i.imgur.com/awynZWN.jpg
(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:46, Reply)
I'm pretty fond of the phrase "succulent housemeat".

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:47, Reply)
You disgust me.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:51, Reply)
I'm comfortable with that fact.

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:57, Reply)
well that thread turned out alright, I think

(, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:08, Reply)
alright
youtu.be/NpekEeMDroM
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 20:52, Reply)
cheers for that

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 21:06, Reply)
Train innit

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 21:10, Reply)
Also in this
youtu.be/E7t8eoA_1jQ
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 21:17, Reply)
Coldcut were absolutely superb in their day, top notch remix
Norman Cook was ace too, he did this:
youtu.be/NLGE7MdZbVM

He gave me a copy once but it was nicked by Dan Kahuna the fucking wanker
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 22:14, Reply)
Their Journeys by Dj compilation was fantastic.
I liked the one they did with Mark E Smith as well.
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 22:40, Reply)
NYEEEAAAHHH, RATFANS
I have to go back to my old gaff after work to flog a wardrobe to our old neighbour and do some flytipping. I really can't be arsed, but £100 cash will buy us a nice dinner, and if we don't get the other bits out of the flat we'll be billed for their removal.

Ever done any sneaky fly tipping? Ever bagged anything cool off the streets?

Ever seen a grown man naked?
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:19, Reply)
We're leaving some shit behind our sheds
We were told to clear out the sheds, not the garden
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:20, Reply)
lol shit

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:28, Reply)
haha oh yeah!

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:28, Reply)
Lol I bet they didn't say anything about not doing poos and wees in the water tank too.

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:59, Reply)
frankly he's a fool if he doesn't do all the stuff on this list
b3ta.com/questions/notme/post1356853
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 17:52, Reply)
"Necro-nonce"

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 19:03, Reply)
to find it i just had to search 'FUCKING BUNTING'

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 19:18, Reply)
This place is lovely, isn't it

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 20:15, Reply)
I'd say sexual

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 20:31, Reply)
Bagged a complete set of pans in mint condition and some very-nearly-new furniture when I lived in a rich district.
I'm not the fly-tipping sort, though. Although, to answer your third question, I have seen plenty of grown men naked.
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:21, Reply)
+t

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:28, Reply)
pants lol

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:30, Reply)
only smarts

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:22, Reply)

sm f

lol
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:28, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:31, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:38, Reply)
have the answ

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 21:02, Reply)
the area I live in is being gentrified from old communist factories
so I've raided various communist artifacts over the years and dumped a load of shit in their skips too. I draw the line at pouring used engine oil down the drain though.
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:26, Reply)
Not really

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:28, Reply)
I was amazed that the gyppoes even nabbed a dirty old mattress from outside my flat in Bethnal Green
ffs, how much work to get how much metal?
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:29, Reply)
They just burn them

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:30, Reply)
still seems like a lot of bother for not much reward

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:35, Reply)
They went round my way nicking lampost covers, must be worth 5p scrap, and the chance of getting nicked

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:38, Reply)
bit of hard brexit will see them off

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:39, Reply)
My fav from my area, plenty of gypos round here , pubs now flats
www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/8366237.ERITH__Cross_Keys_loses_licence_after_horses_taken_into_the_pub
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:41, Reply)
ffs
round my brother's way they got busted for keeping slaves

www.theguardian.com/world/2011/sep/11/leighton-buzzard-slaves-released
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:45, Reply)
Few years ago we were in the pub and the power went out,, it transpired that the pikeys had decided to try and nick the cables supplying most of the borough , no lights in the entire area , then after a day or two we got 4 hours a night , it was strange
No internet, no TV, no lights , and no compensation for the 10k of food that defrosted in my freezer, I might have gone in a bit high

www.standard.co.uk/news/60000-homes-are-blacked-out-as-vandal-fire-causes-huge-power-cut-6746359.html
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:55, Reply)
all for about 20 quid

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 17:14, Reply)
There was a touch of the Dunkirk spirit in the area for a while , everyone was chatting and looking out for each other, power came back and normal se london returned , everyone's a cahnt

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 17:17, Reply)
I fly tip all the time. All the cool kids do.

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:34, Reply)
charity came round to collect but apparently the unit and garment rack weren't good enough for them
snooty fucking cancer pricks
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:35, Reply)
Cancer patients get handouts

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:37, Reply)
they'll get fist-outs next time I see them

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:38, Reply)
Disgusting

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:39, Reply)
He's a menace

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:41, Reply)
I'm doing the Lord's work

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:47, Reply)

or an

lol
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:49, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:51, Reply)
the Land's work lol

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 17:10, Reply)
It's a family forum, go easy

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:41, Reply)
If you could see what I can see
When I'm fisting cancers
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:44, Reply)
I'm fisting cancer patients on the corner of the street
In case a certain little lady walks byyyyy
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:49, Reply)
Rhythm fisting cancer
It's a soul companion
You can feel it everywhere
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:52, Reply)
I can, actually!

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 17:14, Reply)
Hi Richard
Dunno if you'll find this useful, but I just made a little script that can hide any discogs listings in us/canadian dollars from view.

To use it create a new bookmark and paste the code here into the url/address bit. Put that on your bookmarks bar and click it when you want it to hide stuff:
pastebin.com/MnaK1Htk
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 19:38, Reply)
That's more than enough of that
alright chaps and lady boarders?
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:42, Reply)
Hey.
Today is not going well
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:45, Reply)
*hugs*

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:50, Reply)
Unlucky man
I am way over my head in negotiating an agreement over accounts matters with our warehouse. If I bugger it up one way, we will be put on stop and won't be able to trade. If I bugger it up another way we'll be forced to pay many thousands of pounds which we a) don't want to and b) don't have.

What fun!
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:55, Reply)
I don't envy you that.
I'm pretty happy not having to manage anything like that these days and just passing issues up the chain.
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:56, Reply)
This is way beyond my remit, I don't have a fucking clue what I'm doing

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:57, Reply)
When they make an offer just say "what do I look like to you, chopped liver?"

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:01, Reply)
Write a figure on a piece of paper, fold the paper in half, and pass it across the table.
This will show them that you mean business.
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:17, Reply)
Not sure a picture of Russell Kane in the nip will help negotiations

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:21, Reply)
It'll make it clear just who they are dealing with.
I mean, if I was Richard mcbeef from off of the internet, and be sure to use my reputation as leverage.
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:27, Reply)
it's worth a try

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:54, Reply)
Excellent, getting your story straight before the rozzers do you for fraud.

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:24, Reply)
Just make sure you've flushed your stash

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:19, Reply)
Apart from my sore knee, fine

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:45, Reply)
Daniel Day Lewiszzzzzz

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:50, Reply)
Aright 'Nitin'

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:55, Reply)
I understood this reference.

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:28, Reply)

fine
Apart from my
Me so
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:05, Reply)
Me Jendrassik you long time

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:11, Reply)
I've just heard of the team "Veganuary"
and now I want to murder the entire planet
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:48, Reply)
Why are you ignoring me

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:49, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:49, Reply)
He replied to my gaz, but not in the way I had expected. Or hoped.

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:57, Reply)
I'm married, you know that.

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:47, Reply)
Are we all putting windy on ignore? I'll join in

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:55, Reply)
:(

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:56, Reply)
I can't read this because I have you on ignore, soz

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:57, Reply)
Go team Veganuary go

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:50, Reply)
Bet there's loads of vegans in Poland.

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:31, Reply)

e + a + i + n
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:39, Reply)
bitch lasagne

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:47, Reply)
Before lunch, right, I had one of them humorous misunderstandings people talk about.
The mate of mine who hooked me up with the job interview last week called me just as I was getting ready to go to lunch, and said "Hi, can I book an appointment for tomorrow?". I assumed, thinking on the fly, that his boss didn't like him making personal calls during office hours and that this was his way of asking if I fancied a pint tomorrow. So I said "Yeah, sure. Six o'clock is good for me." And he said "You work until six?" And I said "No, I work until five, but I can be in town by six." And then he said "Well how is that going to work then?"

At this point I had no idea what the hell he was driving at and a long silence set in, which was broken by him saying "...er, I think I've dialled the wrong number. I was trying to get hold of my barber." Laughter, jocular "I never knew you were a barber as well!" comments, etc.
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:52, Reply)
For fucks sake

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:55, Reply)
I thought that'd be just the thing to brighten up your day, Winders.

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:58, Reply)
It's actually really awful and I hope you die

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:02, Reply)
Well, really!
I was debating whether to share the story of how I went through three Bluetooth dongles to try to get my headphones to reconnect after coming back from holiday, only to find that the solution was just to reinstall the drivers for the original dongle, but I'm not sure I will now.
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:06, Reply)
Dunno if you caught the whole "keeping the board ticking over" thing on /board
but yeah, that.
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:16, Reply)
I never go on /board.
Maybe once a month at the absolute most.
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:26, Reply)
Probably wise

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:41, Reply)
lol, dong

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:29, Reply)
He'
'Dongle' is quite a naughty-sounding word even when unabridged.
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:32, Reply)
So childish.

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:35, Reply)
YAWN

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:20, Reply)
I was cool, then I read that ^

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:54, Reply)
Might top myself

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:56, Reply)
If my anecdote is published, I'm going to dedicate it to DVD Fever.

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:59, Reply)
yeah

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:56, Reply)
good-oh

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:58, Reply)
alright richbeef
I'm lounging on my bed drinking some beers so I'm alright
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:12, Reply)
dope

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:53, Reply)
Went to the doctor
Had some blood taken. It looked pretty thick and stodgy, and the doctors face was enough for me to say right now it was lovely knowing you all.
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:36, Reply)
Alright, Gloria Ramirez

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:52, Reply)
Now that is a wacky story

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:22, Reply)
bye m8

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:10, Reply)
Leave an alright message on my Facebook memorial page pliz

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:16, Reply)
ok
'RIP Typo, he was marginally fewer shit than banned poster Dozer and Spanishfly'
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:29, Reply)
That...
That is beautiful.
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:36, Reply)
m

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:38, Reply)
+y ring has been raped raw

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:39, Reply)
+ooooooo

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 13:48, Reply)
Our cleaner came round today to see the new house and collect a set of keys.
Which she immediately used to break the main front lock by using the wrong one.

ffs
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:02, Reply)
good lord

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:05, Reply)
what a cunt eh

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:10, Reply)
probably forrin

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:21, Reply)
Do you think it's necessary to change the locks when you move into a new place?

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:39, Reply)
Think it's an insurance requirement

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:54, Reply)
Turns out it's not, but it is highly recommended

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:56, Reply)
Yeah, that's what I thought
Doesn't hurt to get some quotes, does it
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:59, Reply)
Only need the barrels changed

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 15:00, Reply)
You are twice as likely to be burgled in the first year after moving, that's reassuring

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 15:01, Reply)
When we moved from Waterlooville
The people who moved into our old place were burgled within the week, apparently.
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 15:02, Reply)
How much did you take?

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 15:06, Reply)
A bag of whizz and two trips

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 15:17, Reply)
the jewson lot

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 15:23, Reply)

i.imgur.com/Kr2wdhd.jpg
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 15:34, Reply)
They lick their own arses, you know

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 15:46, Reply)
so do I

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 15:51, Reply)
I have to lick someone else's because I can't reach my own

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 16:00, Reply)
I never have tbh

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 15:37, Reply)
That's it, blame the cleaner,
you cack-handed spastic.
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:16, Reply)
This is what happens when you hire care in the community patients to save money.

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:18, Reply)

care in the community patients tax-evading illegal slavs
(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:21, Reply)
Did she say "Oops, sorry about that. Did I mention my cousin was a locksmith?"?

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:35, Reply)
Did she say "Oops, sorry about that. Did I mention my cousin was a blacksmith?"?

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:37, Reply)
Err his name is Will, no need for the racism

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 15:08, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 15:12, Reply)
Did she say "Oops, sorry about that. Did I mention my cousin was in Aerosmith?"?

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:37, Reply)
Did she say "Oops, sorry about that. Did I mention my cousin has a wooden leg named smith?"?

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:37, Reply)
She said "Oops, sorry about that. Do you think I could replace it at whsmith?"

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:38, Reply)
Did she say "Poops, slurry gout shat. Piddle I bent bum shite pus bin tugs a poxshit?"?

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:45, Reply)
you bugger, I was going to post that

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:46, Reply)
Did she say "Oops, sorry about that. Did I mention my cousin was the smiths?"?

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:49, Reply)
b3ta

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 14:52, Reply)
Did she say "Oops, I'm sorry. My cousin's Robert Smith, I'm sure he can Cure it!"

(, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 15:31, Reply)

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