Taht's very true.

( Aardvark in a Manger Do you have stairs in your house?, Sun 20 Dec 2009, 1:59, More)

Fuck , I'm going to go to bed before I say something genuinely offensive.
I hope Sexface dies soon.
( Amorous Badger venomous choad and keeper of the QOTW Fail Archive, Sun 20 Dec 2009, 1:54, More)

PISS OFF YOU FUCKING COCK
YOU'RE ON THE INTERNET AND TRYNG TO CURRY FAVOUR BY TRYING TO POUR IMAGINARY TEA, TO VIRGINS.

I HOPE YOU DIE SOON.
















Happy christmas.
( Amorous Badger venomous choad and keeper of the QOTW Fail Archive, Sun 20 Dec 2009, 1:33, More)

Nobody escapes my bullying.
You retarded apefucker.
(Dave Trouser will waste your time, Sun 20 Dec 2009, 0:19, More)

I know. I just wanted to induce a mild rage in you by mentioning the Tangerine Tyrant.

(Dave Trouser will waste your time, Sat 19 Dec 2009, 23:39, More)

One with a bucket full of fish heads for a fanny
and one with a bucket full of fish heads for a head
( Deck The Halls With Boughs Of Holly, Moohalaa laa laaaa, laa laa laa laa, Sat 19 Dec 2009, 23:26, More)

I'm going to stick my neck out here and say that I quite like SexFace!

( Derek the halls with boughs of Monte is looking to join the non-violent wing of the kkk, Sat 19 Dec 2009, 23:14, More)

depends whether your version of "good"
is beersnobs with odd facial features acting like children in a place legally classified as an Adult area for the consumption of alcohol, giggling like spastics about in-jokes and stinking of cheese-and-onion.
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Sat 19 Dec 2009, 23:08, More)

that's alright
people will just click on the song on the popular page and then click "More" and then see the whole thread where we talk about how much we love the unemployed gambling depressed sponging fucker who can't sustain a meaningful relationship. Not that I'm making any aspersions about his character or anything.
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Sat 19 Dec 2009, 22:58, More)

And the poem's not up to much.

( Know ye not Woodside? should off gone to specsavers lol, Sat 19 Dec 2009, 22:24, More)

The weather outside's sub-zero
but I'd rather be out there than here-o
With your tedious Christmas thread
Fuck, I really wish Sexface was dead.
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Sat 19 Dec 2009, 22:33, More)

Fuck the people saying fuck off,
this is great.

(But you don't need to self-censor on B3ta; there's no swear filter here and it makes you look like a n00b.)
( Bob Yuletodd, Sat 19 Dec 2009, 13:40, More)

Yer, at 60kph. It was hot.

( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Sat 19 Dec 2009, 13:16, More)

That'd be The Itailiaian Job then.

( FoldsFive Gold Rings is on the mend, Sat 19 Dec 2009, 13:56, More)

Are you gay or something?
yes: AHHHHH, YOU GAY !
no: AHHHHH, YOU HOMOPHOBE !
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Sat 19 Dec 2009, 13:52, More)

"great about _my_ country"?
I'm going to pretend this wasn't a copy'n'paste and call you a fucking idiot for, bigging yourself up as a hard-man 'hells angel' type dispite being a fucking pussyole, because you act like you believe in something yet don't say a single word about it.

Or I might call you a fucking idiot for copy'n'pasting something like that onto here when you know it's completely not what we're into.

Or I might ask you, 'Axeman', if you know that Wonderwall song, and if you could show me how to play it, because you're probably a true guitar hero.
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Sat 19 Dec 2009, 13:46, More)

two training courses
one on Career Development, the other on Personal Diet and Nutrition
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Sat 19 Dec 2009, 14:44, More)

Woman on the tube - a true heroine for our times
So I was on the London underground at about 6.20pm UK time yesterday (Friday), Eastbound on the Central Line. A gang of about 10 quite obviously drunk football fans got onto my coach, and started drunkenly yelling rather unpleasant football songs, mostly relating to WWII and how England was generally great.

At one stop a guy of Asian descent tried to get onto the train; he couldn't because the mob of chanting, drunken football louts had blocked the door. He gave up and went to another door, and one of the group shouted at him:

"F*ck off you P*ki c*nt!"

At which point a lightly-built Asian woman, no older than me (I'm 28), stood up and remonstrated with the kid (about 18 I reckon) at the centre of the drunken mob who had shouted the abuse. She told him in no uncertain terms to apologise and to recognise that what he had said was unacceptable. She was a waif of a girl, and wouldn't have stood a chance against even one of these thugs, let alone all 10, but she fearlessly told him in no uncertain terms at the top of her voice that what he had said was wrong, and why.

I thought about intervening, but if I'd got involved (I'm a big guy, and was wearing a leather jacket and a woolly hat that made me look like a Hell's Angel) I'd have turned a debate into a fight by my mere presence, so I stood down, ready to intervene if it looked like they were going to attack her. Thanks to her remarkable persuasive ability, by the time these idiots got off the train, they were literally lining up to apologise to her. I shook her hand and she received a round of heartfelt applause from the entire carriage.

We talk about courage and heroism, but rarely do we see it in such terms. This woman, who could have stood with her head bowed and toughed it out until this rabble left the train, chose to put herself in potentially mortal danger for the sake of what was right. That is true courage and heroism and represents everything that is truly great about my country. That these thugs could commit such foul-mouthed racist abuse on the one hand, and sing songs about Winston Churchill and the hundreds of thousands of his generation who died in to defend the values of tolerance and fairness that these morons chose to desecrate on the other beggars all belief. It took a woman of a descent not of these isles to stand up for and defend that which is truly British. Of that I am in the utmost awe. I am not worthy to kiss this amazing woman's shoes.

For those of you in London, please help me find this woman. She deserves a fucking knighthood for being the most British person on the train that evening. Email tube.heroine@gmail.com with where this happened and what was said.
(Axeman Jim, Sat 19 Dec 2009, 13:35, More)

Go easy on him
all he wants you to do is squat down on a deserted highway with your cloven hoof laid bare and rubbed up against a piece of fresh roadkill whilst you rub baby oil into your stomach so that the fleshy innards mingle with the Johnson's lotion to make a creamy high-protein skin lotion that looks like a Muller Strawberry Fruit Corner, all the while singing Placebo lyrics, it's not like it's a big ask.
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Sat 19 Dec 2009, 9:50, More)

Take the WKD back to the shop and exchange it for a non-bellend drink
Heat the milk and have a nice warm bedtime drink, it's half past ten.
( Bob Yuletodd, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 22:22, More)