You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for Goatworrier:
Profile Info:

Jesus fucking christ, what do you want to know ?


Ode to /talk :

b3ta talker burning bright
like a man-vole soaked in shite.
What immortal board of key
could type such constant wankery ?

What cold hand, with all its might
could send all decency to flight ?
What dread mind, what dread heart
consents to anal from the start ?

In what distant glade or copse
wert thou raised by stoat and fox ?
What foul carrion debauchery
ended thy virginity ?

And when the mongs are all in tears,
when castigated are the queers.
Does the writer pause a bit,
to draw upon his mum in shit ?

b3ta talker burning bright
up and wanking all the night.
Abuses n00bs wild and free,
then charges sailors 11p.


Recent front page messages:


none

Best answers to questions:

» Beautiful but Bonkers

I met a really beautiful girl
who was mental.

When her carers werent looking I smuggled her off the sunshine coach under an old anorak. I took her too the woods and told her about the magic snake who could cry milk.

She gave him a kiss.

They've never found her.
(Fri 17th Nov 2006, 15:08, More)

» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

When I was a lad
I had a best friend, we used to do everything together, long walks, play, discovering the world, getting into scrapes. The usual stuff.

One day I got an erection and just thought I'd stick it in her for a laugh. She didn't say anything, just let me grunt away for a couple of minutes till I'd finished. I lay back, exhausted and a little ashamed, she ran off into some trees.

I lay there for some time, worrying I'd broken our friendship permanently, but soon she was back, licking my face with warm affection.

I was 14 when this happened, she was 5, but in dog years that's 33, I dont know if that makes me a cradle snatcher or a granny grabber ? All I know is that it was the start of something beautiful. We're still together now, 24 years on. She died some time ago, but I had her stuffed and with the help of some modern technology, I we still enjoy a healthy sex life.

Sorry for the length.
(Fri 5th Dec 2008, 9:18, More)

» Fire!

I got home last night and it was cold
so I put the fire on.

Later I was a bit too warm so I turned it off.

Then I went to bed.

With a goat.
(Thu 3rd Nov 2005, 9:27, More)

» Stupid Tourists

This tourist came up to me
and said "I'm slightly lost, can you direct me to the train station"

Can you beleive it ?

Didnt even know where the train station was ?

What a cunt !

I knew where the train station was when I was fucking ten years old.

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

The yanks have the right idea, blow the cunts up before they turn up in your country wearing a camera and asking for directions.....
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 12:26, More)

» Spoooky Coincidence

Double helphing for Vera
One night I had the horn.

I remembered that there was a dear old bewildered lady living next door called Vera. She was game for anything so I decided to pop round there and tell her I was a doctor and needed to put my "thermometer" in her mouth to take her temperature.

When I got there the door was open, so I went in. And what do you think I saw?

My Dad, dressed in a Drs outfit pumping hot gobs of rancid man fat into Veras mouth.

Oh how we laughed at her funeral!
(Fri 9th Feb 2007, 9:40, More)
[read all their answers]