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Profile for Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation?:
Profile Info:

Let's see, what words can I use to describe myself that don't make me look like the egomaniac I am. Let's start with "hello", that always goes down well, here we go. Hello. Good, nice and informal, but without being sloppy and resorting to "Hi". Now, how to progress from here. Presumably you already know my name so I don't need to say "my name is Leo". You may have also read the words stating that I am in fact a resident of Sutton, in London. If you were unaware, then my apologies for the communications breakdown. Erm... I'm not very good at describing myself, there's a fact for you to put in your Leo file. I tend to just impose myself on people and let them form their own opinions of me.

Hatemail me at gripefish at hotmail.com

Have a link http://www.mcnoo.deviantart.com

This chappie below is me with devilsticks, on FUCKING FIRE!
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By foldsfive
Here's me by cleo
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Best answers to questions:

» School Trips

On a ski trip back in year 10
one of the lads in my room managed to bag himself a swiss porn mag. The whole room was really chuffed to have this rare prize until some unknown idiot "lost" it.
I still have it somewhere in the loft.
(Tue 12th Dec 2006, 4:51, More)

» Accidentally Erotic


It was at work the other day, stacking shelves with candles, when I accidentally knocked a gel candle off the edge. Using my ninja-on-a-hot-tin-roof like speed, I caught it, but in such a way that my index and middle fingers ended up in the gel.
Now, I don't know if you've ever inserted your digits into a warm gel candle, but it feels supprisingly like another damp, warm and soft-yet-firm hole. And of course, the fingers looked the part when I pulled them out, glistening with clear sticky fluid.

I wonder what sort of a wank you could get using one of those things.
(Wed 8th Feb 2006, 21:24, More)

» My Worst Vomit

whenever i'm sick, it pours out of my nose
One day when i was particularly ill, i had just finished a nice bowl of tomato soup, when i started to feel horridly nauseous and rushed to be sick down the loo. After a few minutes of retching and spraying the now acidified red fluids from all my facial orifices, i went back about my daily business. Being rather ill, i didn't make much of my nose being blocked for the next three days, but then i sneezed VERY hard into my hand, and what did i find, but a very snotty, tomato soup covered bit of bread that had been lodged in my nasal cavities for half a week.

Yum
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 0:58, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

My evil devil of a sister
is three years older than me. She educated me in all sorts of important ways. When i was four she told me that instead of a willy, a girl has a pajina, but they call the "PJ's".
When i was six i was told that baddies lived in the trees outside our house and would eat me if i walked near them.
When i was seven, she convinced me that when we had gotten rid of out cats when i was four (we moved house) instead of giving them to our next door neighbor, we had eaten them for dinner.
These are the cats she told me realy loved having thier tails pulled.
And now i'm seventeen, she's twenty, and she's trying to tell me she's not a lesbian. Well why should i start believeing her now?
(Wed 14th Jan 2004, 22:37, More)

» Claims to Fame

I've got oodles of family based claims to fame, lets see.
-My great great uncle was prime minister of germany, won a nobel peace prize for getting germany out of the depression, then he lost the job in the next election to hitler, who used my great great uncle's jewishnes against him in his campaign.
-Another great uncle of mine was Paul Erlich, who invented the basics of chemotherapy back in the late 19th century
-I'm a direct decendant of king david who killed goliath
-My grandparents on my dads side were helped out of germany by schindler out of Schindler's List.
-My grandad, Leopold Samson (who i get my name from) invented putting chloring in swimming pools.
-My great grandad invented Ultrasound.
-My great uncle invented some fancy gynacological technique that won him a nobel prize.
-If my great great grandad had been the firstborn son instead of the second, i would be a count.

Thats all i can think of for now, oh, and once i won the egg toss at Banstead fete and got in the local paper.
(Sat 26th Feb 2005, 19:02, More)
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