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Hello. What can I do for you?

Have a picture wot I coloured in wot Down on the Farm drew.



I'm appalingly bad at pictures and stuff, but, i try, so, what can you do. Also, I'm a very long-time lurker, cos, I have had a succession of jobs, many of which blocked b3ta. So I'm making the most of it while I can.


I also have a blog here

Recent front page messages:


none

Best answers to questions:

» Pet Names

Hitler, Wiggy, and LazyPigBoy
were the names of my 3 mutant Harvest Mice.
They were sisters, and each had only one eye (rejects from a zoo-based breeding programme I was working on).

Named after the three waiters at the curryhouse where we ate the day I got them - obviously they weren't their given names, but nicknames we gave them.

Hitler lasted three years. I donated her to my mum after a while - she loved her like a real daughter. When she died, my mam put a little white cross up over her grave in the garden - labelled "Hitler".
People still ask questions today.
(Wed 25th Feb 2004, 13:43, More)

» Breakin' The Law

Amusing incident
Night of my last 'A' Level.
In pub carpark, absolutely shitfaced. Realised I'd forgotten my coat - ran back to get it, and fell over. Got up & retrieved said coat.
Designated driver was taking us back to a mate's in shifts. I was in the first shift.
Whilst on way back, Police arrived in carpark, responding to a car break-in - someone stole a car radio, and apparently fell over whilst escaping.

My mates said, "oh, Rob fell over running away", so the police followed them back to my mate's house, and came in to question me.

Only to find me passed out face down on the floor, with a friend pretending to dry hump me.

Would have been amusing, if they didn't then call my parents at 12am the next night, asking where I was. Parents promptly panicked.

When I finally spoke to them, I was asked "did you steal the radio?"
"No"
"Ok, thanks".
Bah. so that was the closest I got to being nicked.
(Thu 8th Jan 2004, 10:23, More)

» Your Greatest Dilemmas

Unfortunately
This QOTW is proving to be gold-dust for radical feminists.

They can read most of these and say "Look, I told you men are fuckwits! They all think with their dicks!" And unfortunately it seems to be true.

I had a quandry that would have been useful to have advice on at the time. The situation was thus:
Living with g/f.
Having on-line "relationship" with random person. Ended up meeting said person, and "doing things" with them. Filled myself with untold revulsion, and declared never to allow it to happen again. However, the g/f found out, and all the shite hit the fan. 20 months later, we're still together, but its still a very sore point.

Moral of the story? Never, i repeat, never, listen to your dick.
(Wed 19th May 2004, 15:39, More)

» People with Stupid Names

Someone teaches a child called
Chance.

Poor fecker. Called that as the mam had had all of her previous children taken into care, and she felt this was her last "chance" to be a good mother. So she called the kid "chance".
(Thu 26th Aug 2004, 11:12, More)

» Your Greatest Dilemmas

re: lo the greebo warrior
Don't tell them you're on meds. They'd only worry.

I had a similar quandry - my parents know I'm on anti-depressants - have been so for years. They don't know I tried (and very nearly succeeded) in topping myself a couple of years ago. A big part of me wants to tell them, but the sensible part of me realises that it would be of no feasible use for them to know.

So you could weigh up your dilemma - would your parents gain anything by them knowing? If not, don't tell them.
(Thu 20th May 2004, 9:35, More)
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