» Clients Are Stupid

User willingly broke laptop screen
Caught this "episode" from the corner of my eye when visiting a department.

We just rolled out anti-virus software through our network, (login script type thingy) Post install the software requests a scan of the hard disk and asked the user to confirm in the form a big button in the middle of the screen, about 4 inches by 3 inches, saying "Click here", the user did (with his index finger). After a couple of attempts pressing his thumb against the screen (so all the elements burnt) the user was getting a bit frustrated, decided to use all his force. Hence a "pop" sound and laptop, not fit for work.

The icing on the cake when this "middle" manager looked around to see if anyone had seen his embarrassing hand-fistedness catches me shouting "You idiot!"
(Mon 29th Dec 2003, 9:17, More)

» Claims to Fame

Almost worth posting...
Indirect claim: The chap I sit next to at work, sups beer with a another chap called "Mike", Mike is a big guy who my friend thought was a farmer near Bridgend, Wales. They often share conversation about current affairs and "get upto much at the weekend?" type conversations. Mike doesn't answer much but nods in the right places. Anyway.. my friend realised last week that this is in fact Mike Ruddock, the Wales Rugby Union coach. "Now it all make sense, why he's not been their at weekends, recently!!"
(Fri 25th Feb 2005, 15:04, More)

» You're a moviestar baby

Mid-Summer murders
My Dad,

Now retired, got a call to "dep" (deputy, stand in for another drummer) on a gig. He's retired now, so spends much of his awake life, drumming.

He's told this is a film job so will be required for 2 days. MU rates, and all the food he can stuff away.

Day 1: Sit around allll day, setup drums, eat, go home.

Day 2: The filming begins...

The first take, the band situated in a the Mid-summer Fate, they're the fate band. So they knock out a number, full volume, the crew (not to interested in the camera, just the audio). They then stop and ask the band to do the same number, but miming, no sound whatsoever.

This is when John "Bergerac" Nettles steps in, and delivers his line. LINE, one line, this takes his 8 attempts no less. He must have been drunk. Anywhoooo they get it right in the end and wrap up....

The best bit, the reason why band always look pants on TV dramas is they are miming, so they have no idea where the beat is, the speed, where they breath of anything...

Apparently its called "Mid-summer Orchid" or something with Orchid in it.. and it takes them about 12 months to edit it all up... so next year sometime....
(Fri 12th Nov 2004, 17:29, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

Your old.
I'm now 34, and I kick ass at UT2004.

1. When MPG is more exciting than BHP.
2. You consider lobbying a car giant to produce electric car.
3. Conversation with anyone under 21 seems tedious, and trivial, when discussing garage doors, children and mowers.
4. You hear "Floppy disks were 8 inches, and stored 100k?"
5. And then "What does a black and white TV look like?"
6. Watching "High-5" for all the wrong reasons.
8. Everyday is heart-attack day.
9. You ache the following 3 days after a workout.
10. Getting drunk, isn't sensible.
11. I insure my Imprezza WRX for £550 fully comp. Then sell it when I realise it did 22mpg.
12. You FaxYourMP to bring penalties for drivers the "beep" when they drive away, as if to say "bye" or "hello" -- stupid twunts.
13. You use FaxYourMP.
14. Saturday afternoon is sleepy time!
(Tue 2nd Nov 2004, 13:07, More)