» Personal Ads

Fun
I don't really do the online dating thing but I do read them. They're a good read at lunch.

I do have one gripe.

People often say "I like to have fun". Really? Fun? You like to have fun??? crazy person.

One of the dictionary definitions is
"something that provides mirth or amusement".

Who doesn't like having fun? Come on, hands up.

Rant over.
(Thu 13th Sep 2007, 18:04, More)

» Useless Information

Mr Beadle
Jeremy Beadle has a small cock, but on the other hand he doesn't really
(Wed 23rd Mar 2005, 19:43, More)

» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

Poppers
Its been done a 1000 times before (or at least should have).

Back when we were in school, we used to get nasal inhalers, the type you get when you have a blocked nose from a cold. Open the things up and let them dry out overnight and then soak them in poppers.

It meant you could use them in school during lessons and if anyone questioned why you were red faced, eyes streaming and dizzy you could explain you had a terrible cold. Chemistry was so much more fun.
(Wed 25th Jul 2007, 12:15, More)

» Black Sheep

Dodgy Uncle
My Uncle is great. He was avoiding tax so whoever demands tax took him to court. He payed off a doctor to sign him up as being illiterate and the court let said Uncle off as he couldn't read his mail.

He also once turned up at my grans house with a shotgun case full of money (no joke) and stashed it under her bed for 2 months. No one ever found out what it was for.

Oh, he split up with his wife as well and married a gypsy woman as well (actually, she's quite pleasant but slightly nuts)
(Sat 15th Jan 2005, 1:47, More)

» Pure Ignorance

Kids
I have a 5 year old neice. The other day I was preparing some steak and she wandered in and said "Which animal is that from". Sensible question i think so I reply "Its a cow".

Completely dead pan, she turned and looked at me and said "Don't be stupid Uncle, Cows taste of milk".

I can however see her logic
(Tue 11th Jan 2005, 19:18, More)