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Profile for montyzuma:
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aging scotsman who has realised that life has passed him by and is now dragging his feet through the twilight of his autumn years towards the long sleep.

it's being so cheery that keeps me going

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Best answers to questions:

» Weird Traditions

xmas tradition
I live in a city with a large transient population of workers who travel up mon morn and sod off fri afternoon. Most works do's are therefore organised for a thurs night so they can attend otherwise no b*gger would be there.
There was a tradition at one place to pick up and take the biggest horror to the xmas bash, the winner getting a prize.
One year a new guy chatted up a pig-in-knickers in a local bar at the start of decemebr, they were getting on like a mouse on fire till he dropped the question of inviting her to said do, when she decked him and said "You C***, I won it last year"

Its small but it works quick
(Mon 1st Aug 2005, 12:02, More)

» Old People Talk Bollocks

ROW LOCKS
My godmother who has always been a tad touched.
got a fright one day as her husband took a bad "turn" and collapsed. she phoned round about 5 of her friends telling them all "john's deid" (she's scottish) b4 phoning the ambulance. when the ambuance arrived and he'd recovered, she phoned them all back saying "he's a wee bit better now"
(Fri 12th Mar 2004, 10:39, More)

» Crap meals out

MERKIN VISITING THE OL CUNTREE
WALKED INTO A BAR IN GLASGOW
BEHIND THE BAR IS A SIGN
" A PIE, APINT AND A KIND WORD £1.50 "

HE SAYS "I'LL HAVE THAT" HATCHET FACED WEEGIE WUMMIN SILENTLY POURS HIM A FLAT POINT AND HANDS HIM A COLD MUTTON PIE

"WHAT ABOUT THE KIND WORD" SAYS THE SON OF THE WEST

"DONT EAT THE PIE"

I THENK YEW
(Wed 3rd May 2006, 14:35, More)

» The last thing that made me cry

2 things
jungle book, when baloo is supposed to be dead even tho i know he isnt


not a onion , a turnip made me cry

have YOU ever been hit in the pods by a turnip
(Thu 14th Apr 2005, 13:32, More)

» Old People Talk Bollocks

funny but sad
my mates mother got a tumour on the brain which made her see things, (a dog on the bed, a swan) she later had surgery to remove it (the tumour, not the swan)and during one of her moments of lucidity a week later, my mate was taking to her saying how well the operation had gone and that she was better now and not seeing things any more and she leaned over and whispered “ I still see them, I just don’t tell anyone now” poor old soul
if there’s one thing worst than being daft, it’s knowing yer daft.
(Fri 12th Mar 2004, 11:47, More)
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