» Fire!

Well
Not *quite* on topic, but funny all the same -

Last year, my (quite Christian) school had a bonfire as usual - however they let the year 11s make the guy. Being insanely clever, the year 11s had tied the guy onto a wooden "crucifix" type thing using STRING, despite repeated warnings of what would happen. Anywho, it came to the night, and the bonfire was lit from the bottom - it reached the guy, burnt through the string so the guy promptly fell off, leaving an eight-foot burning crucifix which could be seen for quite a way. Smooth.
(Sat 5th Nov 2005, 14:13, More)

» Panic Buying

arrr
not exactly panic buying, but my mum has *asked* me to buy my brother chewing gum for his birthday... yes, a big WTF is in demand here.
(Fri 30th Dec 2005, 19:55, More)

» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

once
on pills, i became convinced that i'd left my lips in the pub... what i regret is spending an extra tenner on a taxi back...

apologies for terrible grammar etc., i'm a little the worse for wear
(Tue 20th Dec 2005, 20:43, More)

» Pretentious bollocks

Oh. My. Gawsh. >__<
I've just been reading some unsigned bands forum thingummyjig... I found this band called "King Lifting". This is what they had to say for themselves:

this is our one mainly about tog trumps(tha playing cards, with monsters and shit):

"And I swear,
they stole the shoes he died in.
They robbed the grave he layed in.
Oh so sad.

I’m big, I’m gonna rip your sole out
and push it up my…
I eat suits for breakfast.

I. Sniff. Blood.
They stole the shoes he died in.
They robbed the gold he lied with.
Oh so, sad.

Makes me wince / you see medieval waiters; their skin is a downside
Their skin is a downside.

Hangman dreams of ropes. His killing power is a staggering 78
No…
Granite man is crying, even his tears crush the world
Werewolves wonder what the fuck they're wearing, they’ve no em-pa-thy to speak of.
Physical strength for these clowns is a colossal
95, that’s 90 too many. I learnt the hard way.

Horror rating, 1000. Guess who?

The incredible melting man. Christ doesn’t visit
earth due to this creatures face. Like an action figure
left on the radiator. Like a doll manipu-
-lated by a, blind child:“I wish I was dead” show your self

And I swear,
they stole the shoes he died in.
They robbed the grave he layed in.
Oh so sad.

I’m big, I’m gonna rip your sole out
and push it up my…
I eat suits for breakfast.

I. Sniff. Blood.
They stole the shoes he died in.
They robbed the gold he lied with.
Oh so, sad.

Makes me wince / you see medieval waiters; their skin is a downside
Their skin is a downside.
Hangman dreams of ropes. His killing power is a staggering 78
No…
Werewolves wonder what the fuck they're wearing.
You stink like corpses. You keel over in the grave
like wet spaghetti.

Elemental and the Demon buy their jewellery

Firedrake has the last word constricting ‘round branches
That night all fear factors across the land rose
into the high millions. Word has it there were
50 drakes to every soul. fuck you all"

/loadofbollocks

I ask you.
(Sat 1st Oct 2005, 18:56, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

I love
Putting my brother's hamster in an envelope and watching being all confused. Immense fun.
(Fri 8th Apr 2005, 22:05, More)