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- a member for 5 years, 5 months and 22 days
- has posted 20 messages on the main board
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
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- has posted 4 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 4 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 5 qotw answers.
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» Out of my depth
How not to speak German
Went on holiday somewhere in the Mediterranean not long after sitting my O-Levels. I'm walking along the beach when a couple ask me for directions.
They were Germans. I'd just done a German O-Level. Like Clint Eastwood in "Firefox" I heard a little voice telling me to "think in German".
I can remember this magical feeling of grammatically correct German forming itself in my mind. I wasn't translating "go straight on and turn left", oh no, the *actual fricking german* was there, in my head, just waiting to be spoken.
It was an epiphany.
Until I opened my mouth. I gave them directions in English, but delivered in the worst mock-German SS commandant accent you've ever heard.
From that day to this, I've never really tried to speak another language.
(Tue 19th Oct 2004, 21:08, More)
How not to speak German
Went on holiday somewhere in the Mediterranean not long after sitting my O-Levels. I'm walking along the beach when a couple ask me for directions.
They were Germans. I'd just done a German O-Level. Like Clint Eastwood in "Firefox" I heard a little voice telling me to "think in German".
I can remember this magical feeling of grammatically correct German forming itself in my mind. I wasn't translating "go straight on and turn left", oh no, the *actual fricking german* was there, in my head, just waiting to be spoken.
It was an epiphany.
Until I opened my mouth. I gave them directions in English, but delivered in the worst mock-German SS commandant accent you've ever heard.
From that day to this, I've never really tried to speak another language.
(Tue 19th Oct 2004, 21:08, More)
» Shoddy Presents
Posh aftershave.....for girls
When I was about 14 I was given a bottle of Obsession aftershave. I would proudly splash this all over before going to school discos, youth clubs etc.
It was a year before I realised that I didn't actually have a bottle of Obsession *for men*. I had been stinking of the ladies variety at every sodding event of my pubescent social calender.
Thanks mum.
(Fri 24th Sep 2004, 16:14, More)
Posh aftershave.....for girls
When I was about 14 I was given a bottle of Obsession aftershave. I would proudly splash this all over before going to school discos, youth clubs etc.
It was a year before I realised that I didn't actually have a bottle of Obsession *for men*. I had been stinking of the ladies variety at every sodding event of my pubescent social calender.
Thanks mum.
(Fri 24th Sep 2004, 16:14, More)
» You're a moviestar baby
Superman - The Early Years
Do you remember a TV series called "Superman - The Early Years" which went out in the late 70s? I was the star. Sooooo famous. You must of heard of it?
No? Well that's because I dreamt it. You know those dreams when you wake up thinking it was all true? As I awoke I thought maybe the memories had been blocked by some traumatic experience and I lay there for a few minutes wondering what happened to the royalties.
That doesn't count, does it?
(Fri 12th Nov 2004, 20:04, More)
Superman - The Early Years
Do you remember a TV series called "Superman - The Early Years" which went out in the late 70s? I was the star. Sooooo famous. You must of heard of it?
No? Well that's because I dreamt it. You know those dreams when you wake up thinking it was all true? As I awoke I thought maybe the memories had been blocked by some traumatic experience and I lay there for a few minutes wondering what happened to the royalties.
That doesn't count, does it?
(Fri 12th Nov 2004, 20:04, More)
» Shoddy Presents
Parting gift that made it all so much better
When I was 17 my girlfriend dumped me and left a carrier bag on my doorstep, containing of all the little things I'd bought her over the past year.
It contained an extra item, a Marathon bar (that's a Snickers, kids)
The accompanying note said it was "for the inconvenience".
Bitch.
(Fri 24th Sep 2004, 16:20, More)
Parting gift that made it all so much better
When I was 17 my girlfriend dumped me and left a carrier bag on my doorstep, containing of all the little things I'd bought her over the past year.
It contained an extra item, a Marathon bar (that's a Snickers, kids)
The accompanying note said it was "for the inconvenience".
Bitch.
(Fri 24th Sep 2004, 16:20, More)