Profile for NoStrings:
If any one needs me...
...I'll be in my steam powered spacecraft, battling clockwork robots and lovecraftian monsters!
I eat food and sleep sometimes.
I Enjoy the taste of marmite.
I have a kitty kat.
I enjoy the warm pencilly goodness that comes with drawing.
I have beer.
I'm a geordie.
I went to the same High School as Ross Noble.
I sniff the rain.
It all tastes like zombies!!
www.myspace.com/nstrings if ya wanna see more of my face!
And before any of you start whining and calling me a 'Cocking Spaniel Whore'... or such like, for having a Myspace account. Let me explain the reason. If any site requires a profile, and I'm to lazy to actually write everything about me for the millionth time...Instead, I can solve all my woes with one link. So There!
I always hear rappers talking about 'bee-hatches', which I can only assume are tiny versions of Cat-flaps!
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- a member for 8 years, 10 months and 26 days
- has posted 101 messages on the main board
- has posted 9 messages on the talk board
- has posted 0 messages on the links board
- has posted 77 stories and 17 replies on question of the week
- They liked 41 pictures, 0 links, 1 talk posts, and 100 qotw answers.
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If any one needs me...
...I'll be in my steam powered spacecraft, battling clockwork robots and lovecraftian monsters!
I eat food and sleep sometimes.
I Enjoy the taste of marmite.
I have a kitty kat.
I enjoy the warm pencilly goodness that comes with drawing.
I have beer.
I'm a geordie.
I went to the same High School as Ross Noble.
I sniff the rain.
It all tastes like zombies!!
www.myspace.com/nstrings if ya wanna see more of my face!
And before any of you start whining and calling me a 'Cocking Spaniel Whore'... or such like, for having a Myspace account. Let me explain the reason. If any site requires a profile, and I'm to lazy to actually write everything about me for the millionth time...Instead, I can solve all my woes with one link. So There!
I always hear rappers talking about 'bee-hatches', which I can only assume are tiny versions of Cat-flaps!
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Accidental innuendo
Just before Christmas last year...
...I was in one of those DIY teddy bear factory type shops, buying a stuffed monkey for Mrs Strings.
Anyway, I chose the skin of it and went to get it stuffed.
You get the joy of stepping on the pedal to start blowing the stuffing down this tube and into the teddyskin held by a nice young lady.
First step is to get a little heart for it out of a bucket on the side of the machine. So I stepped forward to retrieve such heart. As I did, I accidentally stepped on the pedal, the tube proceeded to spray white fluff all over this poor woman.
As she was picking it out of her nose and mouth, all I could think to say at that moment was...
"I'm sorry, That's never happened to me before!"
Cue my mate pissing herself and telling me that I'm a bad man!!
(Sat 14th Jun 2008, 12:56, More)
Just before Christmas last year...
...I was in one of those DIY teddy bear factory type shops, buying a stuffed monkey for Mrs Strings.
Anyway, I chose the skin of it and went to get it stuffed.
You get the joy of stepping on the pedal to start blowing the stuffing down this tube and into the teddyskin held by a nice young lady.
First step is to get a little heart for it out of a bucket on the side of the machine. So I stepped forward to retrieve such heart. As I did, I accidentally stepped on the pedal, the tube proceeded to spray white fluff all over this poor woman.
As she was picking it out of her nose and mouth, all I could think to say at that moment was...
"I'm sorry, That's never happened to me before!"
Cue my mate pissing herself and telling me that I'm a bad man!!
(Sat 14th Jun 2008, 12:56, More)
» Guilty Laughs
A few years back, I was on the bus to work....
...early one morning. As the bus was about to turn a corner a monumentally fat middle aged woman stood up to ring the bell.
As the bus turned, sharply and a little too quickly, said woman lost her footing and toppled back onto the seat. Although she managed to get herself wedged between her seat and the back of the seat in front.
As the other passengers and the driver frantically try and free her, she actually begins to sob and wail, all the time waving her fat legs in the air.
And I sat at the back of the bus, unable to move, because the pain from laughing was so great. My face hurt, my chest and stomach hurt... but I couldn't stop laughing.
She was finally freed and sent on her way, and I was treated to glares, scowls and harsh words from the other passengers.
I did feel guilty afterwards... Was still funny as hell.
(Fri 23rd Jul 2010, 21:13, More)
A few years back, I was on the bus to work....
...early one morning. As the bus was about to turn a corner a monumentally fat middle aged woman stood up to ring the bell.
As the bus turned, sharply and a little too quickly, said woman lost her footing and toppled back onto the seat. Although she managed to get herself wedged between her seat and the back of the seat in front.
As the other passengers and the driver frantically try and free her, she actually begins to sob and wail, all the time waving her fat legs in the air.
And I sat at the back of the bus, unable to move, because the pain from laughing was so great. My face hurt, my chest and stomach hurt... but I couldn't stop laughing.
She was finally freed and sent on her way, and I was treated to glares, scowls and harsh words from the other passengers.
I did feel guilty afterwards... Was still funny as hell.
(Fri 23rd Jul 2010, 21:13, More)
» Sorry
I'm sorry to the young lady, who's name escapes me now...
...that I was engaging in a numerically named sexual position with, a few years back.
Looking back, a vindaloo may not have been the ideal meal to have on our date. And although I was rather proud of the sniper-like accuracy at which I fired the intestinal gas up your unsuspecting nostrils, I feel it ruined the moment somewhat. A feeling which was confirmed by you rushing to the bathroom retching as you fled.
I am also sorry for getting dressed and leaving at that moment, going back to the pub and copping off with someone else...
I am also a little sorry that I did not fart up her nose as well.
(Sat 19th Jan 2013, 23:05, More)
I'm sorry to the young lady, who's name escapes me now...
...that I was engaging in a numerically named sexual position with, a few years back.
Looking back, a vindaloo may not have been the ideal meal to have on our date. And although I was rather proud of the sniper-like accuracy at which I fired the intestinal gas up your unsuspecting nostrils, I feel it ruined the moment somewhat. A feeling which was confirmed by you rushing to the bathroom retching as you fled.
I am also sorry for getting dressed and leaving at that moment, going back to the pub and copping off with someone else...
I am also a little sorry that I did not fart up her nose as well.
(Sat 19th Jan 2013, 23:05, More)
» B3TA Most Haunted
My old shed was haunted...
...things would keep being moved around and any food that I left in there kept going missing. The wife said that it was probably a mouse, but I had to tell her that such things don't exist. I had a good laugh at her expense that night.
I decided to get an expert opinion, so Bob from B&Q came down and had a look. He reckoned that it was the ghost of a Scottish nobleman who died as the result of a hideous wanking accident involving a ferret and a map of Swindon.
Bob set up some ghost traps and burned some basil leaves to cleanse the shed's meridian lines... or something.
Come morning, we had caught the ghost. Small furry bastard with a long tail. Put him in the bin.
(Thu 13th Sep 2012, 19:20, More)
My old shed was haunted...
...things would keep being moved around and any food that I left in there kept going missing. The wife said that it was probably a mouse, but I had to tell her that such things don't exist. I had a good laugh at her expense that night.
I decided to get an expert opinion, so Bob from B&Q came down and had a look. He reckoned that it was the ghost of a Scottish nobleman who died as the result of a hideous wanking accident involving a ferret and a map of Swindon.
Bob set up some ghost traps and burned some basil leaves to cleanse the shed's meridian lines... or something.
Come morning, we had caught the ghost. Small furry bastard with a long tail. Put him in the bin.
(Thu 13th Sep 2012, 19:20, More)
» Lies I told on my CV
Back in the unemployment days...
...I was sent on something called 'Gateway to Work' by the Job Centre. Basically, it consisted of two weeks sitting doing nothing, while local charvers figured out how to use their 'magical writing sticks'.
Anyway, one of the requirements of the 'course' was that we had to send out a certain amount of spec letters and CVs to companies in the yellow pages...
Due to the mind numbing boredom I never wish to repeat...I included on all of my CVs that I possesed super powers.
...Never heard from any of the companies.
(Tue 11th Jul 2006, 20:41, More)
Back in the unemployment days...
...I was sent on something called 'Gateway to Work' by the Job Centre. Basically, it consisted of two weeks sitting doing nothing, while local charvers figured out how to use their 'magical writing sticks'.
Anyway, one of the requirements of the 'course' was that we had to send out a certain amount of spec letters and CVs to companies in the yellow pages...
Due to the mind numbing boredom I never wish to repeat...I included on all of my CVs that I possesed super powers.
...Never heard from any of the companies.
(Tue 11th Jul 2006, 20:41, More)