» God

A load o' posh.
I remember back when I was in fifth grade or so, our teacher had two middle aged ladies from the local church come visit. After they'd spilled the beans on the crackpot theories they call a religion and forced us to partake in their mental rituals such as singing songs and symbolic cannibalism, we're handed our god-given right to ask questions.

I raise my hand.

Something like "Why should we believe in a fairy tale like god that's obviously fake?" escaped my mouth.

The ladies were flabberghasted and our teacher told me off, but dad was proud when he heard!
(Tue 24th Mar 2009, 0:44, More)

» When animals attack...

Evil sheep...
I remember being around 5 years old at the time, we used to visit some relatives on a farm where they had loads of sheep.
As the blunt youngster I was, I submitted to my parents request that I feed the sheep some bread and such things with great joy.
So I head into the cage and feed the sheep, I stay in there for a good few minutes.
When my bread runs out, some old evil crone-sheep decides to make a point and headbutts me. My parents laughed, the bastards.
(Sat 4th Jun 2005, 15:18, More)

» Childhood bad taste

Between around 5 and 10...
...Years old, I found butter really tasty, in large blobs.


I should also mention a classmate of mine: He doesn't brush his teeth & he washes up about once a month. His breakfast consists of bread with a centimeter-thick layer of butter and coke.
Spooky.


Linus
(Sat 11th Dec 2004, 17:21, More)

» Strange things you've been paid to do

Well, not me...
But a friend of mine was paid $10 to walk around naked with a sign covering his front and back which said "Will work to get laid". Needless to say he never got any jobs.


Linus
(Fri 1st Oct 2004, 20:25, More)

» Your first cigarette

Closest I've got is
granpa' having a smoke somewhere nearby.
I won though, I outlasted him.
(Thu 20th Mar 2008, 19:21, More)