» Crappy Prizes

My tradition.....
It's a tradition of mine to be a week late to post a reply on QOTW!

I've done it again haven't I!........ BUGGER!

Sorry
(Mon 8th Aug 2005, 15:19, More)

» Teenage Poetry

Angry teen! Grrrr
Immigrants Poem

I come for visit, get treated regal,
So I stay, who care I illegal?
I cross border, poor and broke,
Take bus, see employment folk.

Nice man treat me good in there,
Say I need to see welfare.
Welfare say, "You come no more,
We send plenty cash right to your door."

Welfare checks, they make you wealthy,
NHS, it keep you healthy!
By and by, I got plenty money,
Thanks to you, English dummy.

Write to friends in motherland,
Tell them come as fast as you can.
They come in rags on the back of trucks,
I buy big house with welfare bucks.

They come here, we live together,
More welfare checks, it gets better!
Fourteen families they moving in,
But neighbor's patience wearing thin.

Finally, white guy moves away,
Now I buy his house, and then I say,
"Find more aliens for house to rent."
And in the yard I put a tent.

Send for family (they just trash),
But they, too, draw the welfare cash!
Everything is mucho good,
And soon we own the neighbourhood.

We have hobby--it's called breeding,
Welfare pay for baby feeding.
Kids need dentist? Wife need pills?
We get free! We got no bills!

Englishman crazy! He pay all year,
To keep us immigrants in comfort here.
We think UK is very good place!
Much too good for the white man race.

If they not like us, they can go,
There's lots of room elsewhere you know....

Nuff said!

Seeya
(Fri 12th Aug 2005, 13:24, More)

» Weird Traditions

Who ate them all??
Further to the Sausage posts below.... I live in West Yorkshire, near a village called Denby Dale.

This tiny village is world famous for it's 'Denby Dale Pie' festival. An annual celebration featuring pies of record breaking size and weight. In 2000 it was 12 tonnes and 40ft long!!!

Anyway, now THAT'S a tradition that brings a gravy stained smile to the faces of many a fat bastard!!..... rumour is that Rick Waller and Michelle McManus are fighting over who gets to open next years event!!!

Learn more about this tradition and our nations obesity problems at www.denbydalepie.co.uk
(Thu 4th Aug 2005, 10:27, More)

» Weird Traditions

A quick one..... quite literally usually!
Not sure if this is a tradition or not (probably just a habit actually).

Anyway, it's a 'personal tradition' that I try to sleep with all my mates sisters (at least once)..... although other than the danger element I'm not sure what it is about them that started this.

Well there we go, my mates have realised this now and put as many barriers in my way as possible.... rumours about infections and girlfriends (well that one is true actually) all of which I see as more of a challenge than anything else!

Well..... back to the chase in hand (wish me luck people!!).

Ps. My personal favorite is when I can tell a mate how I changed at Baker Street with his sister (if you knwo what I mean)...... the sprint afterwards is good for me though!

Rob
(Mon 1st Aug 2005, 9:51, More)

» Weddings

The internet is class!... but weddings are NOT!
I was going out with a girl called Kay in Manchester once (well she said it was Manchester but it was really Bury!)..... anyway as most blokes do at some point, I had to go to the wedding of her best mates sister who'd met a septic tank on the internet (and by the look of him that is the only way he could meet women..... but hey, she was fat so they deserve each other).

So the day went off fine and the wedding was the usual hotel rubbish, a line of crap chairs and a fat lady at the end who was doing the deed (all verbal bollox if you ask me).

Anyway, after that we retreated to the hotel events suite for the sit down fodder. An OKish meal later and the beer, vodka and gin finally started to be absorbed into my bloodstream.... lots of dancing later and I'm sat at my table with the ex and some of her friends, including the best mate who's sister had just been joined to the yanky trailer park hick. Out of the blue someone put a microphone in my hand and a video camera in my face.... a little shocked and a tad excited at my 'big chance' I proceeded to extol the many virtues of the internet for the likes of meeting people for 'no strings' fun and for looking at dirty lady pics (you know.... the sort where she's got an onion or champagne bottle in her arse, the really classy stuff).

As you can imagine I don't think my turn made the final edit... but it DID make my tables mouth open in unison which acted only as an encouragement for me.

Didn't like them so I'm not sorry.... SO THERE! :-D

Anyway am now going out with another manc who's doing the same in 3 weeks.... can't wait!

Rob
(Fri 15th Jul 2005, 11:26, More)