» Road Rage

Ironic I should notice this thread today...
This afternoon my driving instructor parked outside my house by the curb and we were talking about what he wanted me to do in the lesson, as happens in lessons.

Next thing, an elderly man drives up, reverses into *my* drive, get's out of his car and comes over to have a go at us for blocking the drive (actually, we weren't - proof of this was that he'd just reversed in).

I ask him who the fuck he thinks he is, and point out that apart from the fact that he's clearly a cunt, this isn't his house. He left, quickly, with 'nary a sorry.
(Tue 17th Oct 2006, 20:14, More)

» Failed

The first driving test
2 minutes of the test left, 200 yards from the driving centre, at a junction at the top of a hill, with traffic behind me. Instead of moving off in 1st I select reverse and miss the guy behind by an inch. Only got 4 minors as well, which was a bitch.

It was worth it for the look of complete surprise on the examiners face and the "I've never even heard of someone failing for that before" comments from my instructor on the way home.
(Sun 7th Jan 2007, 0:26, More)

» The Worst Journey in the World

I was 10
I didn't like travelling on boats, and we were in the posh expensive lounge area for some reason. The sick bags were all at the entrance to the lounge, and I was feeling very queasy. Finally I could stand the sickness no longer so I slowly made my way towards the sick bags knowing that they were my only hope at relief. Three rolls of the boat later I'm holding half a stomach's worth of vomit in my mouth hoping to hell that I can still make it as it was only just around the corner.

Make it round the corner and wave manically at the service woman standing next to them (they were still *across* from the entrance and it was another 10 steps at least), pointing and emphasising as much as I could that I was very, very ill. She didn't get it. 3 seconds later she gets it, as the entire floor to the entrance is covered in a nice layer of sick. "Oh my goodness. I guess you won't be needing a bag now then". Oh boy was she wrong. I edged around the spreading pool of vomit, grabbed the bag and vowed to spend the rest of the journey in the loo's too ashamed to show my face. Sadly it stank in there and only made me feel more ill, but in a different "dear god, I was travel sick, now my body's rebelling against the smell, sick" way. When we finally left the boat there was just a strange whiff and a slightly discoloured sheen to the floor.

Now I just make sure I sleep on boat journey's, and never, ever move from my seat.

Oh, and then there was the journey where the boat was rocking so badly we could see the just sky out of one window and just sea out the other. Hearing all the plates in the kitchen smashing, and the waitresses all screaming "oh god, will it never end" didn't help.
(Sat 9th Sep 2006, 20:44, More)