Profile for fastandfurryous:
none
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
- a member for 18 years, 7 months and 5 days
- has posted 90 messages on the main board
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
- has posted 4 messages on the links board
- has posted 4 stories and 4 replies on question of the week
- They liked 19 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 4 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
none
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Road Rage
Dickheads in powerful cars in the outside lane.
Dontcha just hate them. You know the ones. When you're perfectly justifiably in the outside lane of the motorway, overtaking other cars, and you get some utter cnut in their Merc/BMW/Lexus/feck-off 4x4 etc. 3'6" from your bumper. Is it going to make me pull over? No. In fact, it's going to make me stay there longer than I might otherwise have done.
Neat little trick though: just as there's a gap big enough for you to pull back in, you start to signal, and begin to move over. Twatfeatures in his penis extension floors it to get past you before you've barely even moved.... So you stop moving over. Twatfeatures then has to anchor-up as hard as he can, at which point you move briskly over to the left, leaving the idiot in a completely clear lane with his foot hard on the brake.
Makes the point really rather well.
Without realising it, I did this in front of an unmarked copper once (he was the car I was pulling back in front of in the slower lane) Blue lamps come on in the grille, and I think "Oh, Crap." At which point he darts into the outside lane and pulls over the tosser in the Merc s-class who had been tailgaiting me.
Fabulous.
(Mon 16th Oct 2006, 14:17, More)
Dickheads in powerful cars in the outside lane.
Dontcha just hate them. You know the ones. When you're perfectly justifiably in the outside lane of the motorway, overtaking other cars, and you get some utter cnut in their Merc/BMW/Lexus/feck-off 4x4 etc. 3'6" from your bumper. Is it going to make me pull over? No. In fact, it's going to make me stay there longer than I might otherwise have done.
Neat little trick though: just as there's a gap big enough for you to pull back in, you start to signal, and begin to move over. Twatfeatures in his penis extension floors it to get past you before you've barely even moved.... So you stop moving over. Twatfeatures then has to anchor-up as hard as he can, at which point you move briskly over to the left, leaving the idiot in a completely clear lane with his foot hard on the brake.
Makes the point really rather well.
Without realising it, I did this in front of an unmarked copper once (he was the car I was pulling back in front of in the slower lane) Blue lamps come on in the grille, and I think "Oh, Crap." At which point he darts into the outside lane and pulls over the tosser in the Merc s-class who had been tailgaiting me.
Fabulous.
(Mon 16th Oct 2006, 14:17, More)
» Airport Stories
That passenger who's late onto the aircraft
was me once. and it was entirely my own fault.
Standing in the check-in queue at Bristol, about to take an internal flight to Edinburgh, and I realise I have no Photo ID on me. Fucksocks. Nice girl behind the desk tells me to go and see the woman over at their other desk, who sympathises, but tells me there's no way I'm getting on an aeroplane without photo ID. She's happy to bump me to the later flight, if I can get back with ID, So I tell her I'll be back later. She tells me that she will pre-check me in, and the absolute latest I can be back by is 18:10.
Cue me, driving like a complete and utter knob through 3 counties to collect my passport, and back again. A journey that can easily take 1h40 one way, done in 2 hours both ways. I get back to the nice lady behind the counter at 18:08! She checks my ID, and then says "follow me." We go through restricted areas of the airport, through baggage handling areas, completely miss out security and the departure lounge, and up onto the tarmac. She then points to one aircraft in row of EasyJet 737's, and says "That one. Hurry but do not run." The stairs to the aircraft are retracted almost before I'm even on board, and we're taxying before I've sat down! We leave the tarmac at 18:15. That was 'kin close!
(Sat 4th Mar 2006, 0:00, More)
That passenger who's late onto the aircraft
was me once. and it was entirely my own fault.
Standing in the check-in queue at Bristol, about to take an internal flight to Edinburgh, and I realise I have no Photo ID on me. Fucksocks. Nice girl behind the desk tells me to go and see the woman over at their other desk, who sympathises, but tells me there's no way I'm getting on an aeroplane without photo ID. She's happy to bump me to the later flight, if I can get back with ID, So I tell her I'll be back later. She tells me that she will pre-check me in, and the absolute latest I can be back by is 18:10.
Cue me, driving like a complete and utter knob through 3 counties to collect my passport, and back again. A journey that can easily take 1h40 one way, done in 2 hours both ways. I get back to the nice lady behind the counter at 18:08! She checks my ID, and then says "follow me." We go through restricted areas of the airport, through baggage handling areas, completely miss out security and the departure lounge, and up onto the tarmac. She then points to one aircraft in row of EasyJet 737's, and says "That one. Hurry but do not run." The stairs to the aircraft are retracted almost before I'm even on board, and we're taxying before I've sat down! We leave the tarmac at 18:15. That was 'kin close!
(Sat 4th Mar 2006, 0:00, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
Don't *think* it's bindun, so:
What's hard, six inches long and fun to play with in the toilet?
A Nintendo Gameboy.
(Tue 27th Dec 2005, 1:29, More)
Don't *think* it's bindun, so:
What's hard, six inches long and fun to play with in the toilet?
A Nintendo Gameboy.
(Tue 27th Dec 2005, 1:29, More)